Living with someone with mental health issues

Thank you everyone, I don’t live with the person but am very close, when he’s coping it fine, but it changes in a flash and it’s so difficult, every two or three weeks you’re put through the emotional ringer, the anger directed at you, you feel like walking away, but you can’t, that lasts about 2/3 weeks ,so it continues. Reading what others cope with who have it 24/7 puts me to shame, you’re wonderful coping.
No one chooses a mental illness but it’s hard for those around them too.
Cool Gran, glad you plucked up the courage to make a new life. I hope you don’t feel guilt anymore, you did for 22 years what most of us couldn’t.💐

My husband was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia three years into our marriage and the month after I became pregnant. I stayed caring for him for 22 years bringing up my child virtually as a single mother. I left after 22 years when I was on the verge of a breakdown from years of stress.

Life became wonderful for me and my then 19 year old child. It took a long time to overcome my guilt at leaving.

Fleurpepper, I agree with your comments
PD comes in many guises, very difficult for loved ones to live with without becoming depressed or anxious.

Allsorts, apologies, I don’t know the relationship you have with the person with a personality disorder, nor do I know what kind of P D is involved. Is there a diagnosis? Is the individual cooperating with mh services

I understand if you don’t want to answer these questions. I want to say I know how tough it is, to try and support someone you have loved, who turns on you. Emotional rollercoaster is right, it’s awful and the support person can be ground down. Try to look after yourself

Allsorts I hope you are ok?
You posted very early this morning.
You dont have to repost if you dont want to.

Allsorts I am sorry to read your post. It must be very difficult for you. I have been there. There is nothing more wearing than having to deal with this day in day out.
Try to seek help from the GP, who could put you in touch with other agencies that could offer respite.
You deserve a peaceful and quiet life, I do hope you can find ways to achieve this.
With love

Yes, indeed. Just saying 'my behaviour is not at all my responsibility because of MH- is just not on.

Very interesting article here:

www.thehotline.org/resources/abuse-and-mental-illness-is-there-a-connection/

Now do realise that someone with Alzheimers present a totally different profile- it's important to say that cohercive control and even violence, cannot ever be excused.

Many who use this as a tool, as described in the article above- make VERY sure they do NOT present such behaviour in the presence ot others- making the spouse, parent or even children- be made to feel even more isolated as others do not believe them.

No one should be an emotional punchbag for another's pain

Help is there and taking it is a choice

In some cases, it amounts to a huge amount or cohercive control.

Anniebach

No one chooses a mental illness, Hithere you judge harshly.

No- but some choose not to do anything about it and totally refuse to get help- and expect their spouse and children to pay the price.

Generally speaking, MH are diagnosed and medication and treatment is offered.

If sadly you are a danger to yourself and/or others, measures have to be taken

There is no free pass for the actions of an unmanaged MH illness.

I don't want to hijack this thread as allsorts needs support, not a discussion about MH

Abuse is never acceptable

You can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm

If they refuse to get the help they need to stop hurting others then you need to take steps to protect yourself

If you are psychotic you can do none of these things. You are not living in the real world.

Hithere

I agree, but if you have one, it is your own job to manage it

Anxiety, depression - are also classified as MH

Plenty of us are familiar with those and we dont pass the torch to others

Hithere
Can you explain why someone with Schizophrenia who kills someone is sent to a secure unit and not a prison because according to your thinking he’s responsible.
To put it politely, you’re talking rubbish.

Cancer is not a mental illness btw

Yes, knowing your options is your job as a patient

Assign somebody to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so is your job too

Managing and demanding pain management is your job too

And if you have cancer it’s your own job to manage it ?

I agree, but if you have one, it is your own job to manage it

Anxiety, depression - are also classified as MH

Plenty of us are familiar with those and we dont pass the torch to others

No one chooses a mental illness, Hithere you judge harshly.

Merylstreep

Assumptions are deadly

Hithere
You’ve obviously never worked in supporting people with mental health problems.

Allsorts have you had a carer’s assessment? It might be of some help to you as some activity away from home can be important and a social worker should be able to work with you and find a better mix of caring with time for yourself. If that’s the way ahead for you …..

Allsorts I don't know the detail of what exactly you're coping with. But sometimes, sad though it is, you have to walk away. And not feel guilty. You have tried.

Ali08

pascal30

If it's PD, which is so difficult to help, I would try to leave and restart your life elsewhere.. if that is possible

What is PD, please?

Personality disorder?

pascal30

If it's PD, which is so difficult to help, I would try to leave and restart your life elsewhere.. if that is possible

What is PD, please?