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Living with someone with mental health issues

(35 Posts)
Allsorts Sun 03-Sep-23 04:31:40

Living with a person with a personality disorder or mental health issues is like being on an emotional roller coaster. The emotional abuse gets too much. It comes to a point where in order to survive yourself you can't carry on.

teabagwoman Sun 03-Sep-23 06:17:51

All sorts have you got any support for yourself? It sounds as though you need to leave the relationship and I would urge you to find counselling support to help you through that. Good luck.

fancythat Sun 03-Sep-23 08:34:11

I dont know your history.
Are you able to take a break?
3 days away somewhere, and you may be able to see more clearly what to do?

sodapop Sun 03-Sep-23 08:42:20

Families and partners of people with mental health problems are often overlooked. Can you get support & help from your mental health team or relatives support groups. As fancythat said try and take a break so you can recharge. Good luck Allsorts

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 03-Sep-23 08:47:22

It’s very very hard and you have all my sympathy, the only thing I can say is that if you aren’t able to take frequent breaks away, is to walk away and preserve your own Mental Health.

From our experience the Mental Health teams won’t have the time or inclination to help, we have been advised that if there is a problem we can’t deal with to call the Police. Very helpful, I don’t think. The last thing a mentally ill person needs is to be locked up.

It’s a pity there aren’t any respite homes for people with MH problems, but of course they wouldn’t go there, would they?

Shelflife Sun 03-Sep-23 09:16:43

Alldorts, I am thinking about you. The time may come when you just have to walk away , easier said than done I recognize that but eventually self preservation comes to the fore! You MUST take good care of yourself. 💐💐

pascal30 Sun 03-Sep-23 10:43:47

If it's PD, which is so difficult to help, I would try to leave and restart your life elsewhere.. if that is possible

Glorianny Sun 03-Sep-23 13:05:50

Allsorts does your local authority have a carers support group? Some do and they might offer you something which would help, even if it is just a chance to meet and chat with others in the same position as you. You are obviously desperate. If you have to leave to protect yourself please do so. I do hope that is what you mean by not being able to carry on. Just getting away for a short time might help. You are entitled to a peaceful and happy life. Please look after yourself.

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 14:06:26

Mental health issues is never reason to be abused.

If the person is not doing what's needed to control his/her MH, that should be the main goal

If refused, stand up for yourself

Gin Sun 03-Sep-23 14:39:55

It is so very hard. If you love someone you just cannot walk away and getting help is very hard especially as the person often will not agree they need help. A friend of mine is in this situation and I see her getting more and more depressed and physically ill herself. I try to help but can see no way forward for her. I just get her away from the situation for a treat now and then that is all I can do.

Ali08 Sun 03-Sep-23 14:56:08

pascal30

If it's PD, which is so difficult to help, I would try to leave and restart your life elsewhere.. if that is possible

What is PD, please?

Shinamae Sun 03-Sep-23 15:00:31

Ali08

pascal30

If it's PD, which is so difficult to help, I would try to leave and restart your life elsewhere.. if that is possible

What is PD, please?

Personality disorder?

nadateturbe Sun 03-Sep-23 15:08:11

Allsorts I don't know the detail of what exactly you're coping with. But sometimes, sad though it is, you have to walk away. And not feel guilty. You have tried.

ronib Sun 03-Sep-23 16:50:19

Allsorts have you had a carer’s assessment? It might be of some help to you as some activity away from home can be important and a social worker should be able to work with you and find a better mix of caring with time for yourself. If that’s the way ahead for you …..

MerylStreep Sun 03-Sep-23 16:55:32

Hithere
You’ve obviously never worked in supporting people with mental health problems.

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 17:09:39

Merylstreep

Assumptions are deadly

Anniebach Sun 03-Sep-23 17:24:42

No one chooses a mental illness, Hithere you judge harshly.

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 17:26:29

I agree, but if you have one, it is your own job to manage it

Anxiety, depression - are also classified as MH

Plenty of us are familiar with those and we dont pass the torch to others

Anniebach Sun 03-Sep-23 17:30:35

And if you have cancer it’s your own job to manage it ?

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 17:36:07

Yes, knowing your options is your job as a patient

Assign somebody to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so is your job too

Managing and demanding pain management is your job too

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 17:36:47

Cancer is not a mental illness btw

MerylStreep Sun 03-Sep-23 17:40:54

Hithere

I agree, but if you have one, it is your own job to manage it

Anxiety, depression - are also classified as MH

Plenty of us are familiar with those and we dont pass the torch to others

Hithere
Can you explain why someone with Schizophrenia who kills someone is sent to a secure unit and not a prison because according to your thinking he’s responsible.
To put it politely, you’re talking rubbish.

Greenfinch Sun 03-Sep-23 17:40:59

If you are psychotic you can do none of these things. You are not living in the real world.

VioletSky Sun 03-Sep-23 17:44:19

Abuse is never acceptable

You can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm

If they refuse to get the help they need to stop hurting others then you need to take steps to protect yourself

Hithere Sun 03-Sep-23 17:44:28

Generally speaking, MH are diagnosed and medication and treatment is offered.

If sadly you are a danger to yourself and/or others, measures have to be taken

There is no free pass for the actions of an unmanaged MH illness.

I don't want to hijack this thread as allsorts needs support, not a discussion about MH