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Depressed and in need of advice and understanding.

(107 Posts)
Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 18:16:47

Good evening,
This is my first post as a new thread and I feel like I really need a friend.
I have had an ongoing health problem for few months now and this along with various other troubles has sent me a little bit over the edge.
Health problem seems mild to others and to family members but has had a major impact on me.
To the point where I have really lost my way and am now in the midst of a depression that has overwhelmed me.
I have visited the GP more times that I care to mention and have become obsessed with every little thing.
I have googled until I am at the end of my tether and have finally started on medication today. I delayed this while I googled all the side effects of the medication until I nearly went mad!
As you can probably tell I am an anxious person but I so want to get this under control.
My family tell me that I am wasting the final years of my life due to all of this and not enjoying anything. They are right, I cannot enjoy a thing and can’t concentrate on any past time.
My grandchildren are my joy but I feel like I am making their lives a misery as well.
Various other things happening which are adding to it all. Husbands health, family issue with son etc etc.
waiting to see a counsellor but I know that there will be a long wait for that.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
Many thanks if anyone reads post.

Smileless2012 Mon 04-Sep-23 18:26:00

I'm so sorry that you are going through this Hairspray but glad you are on medication.

It will take time to 'kick in' so be patient and don't expect to see any improvement over night. I have felt like this so I know how frightening it can be to feel as if you're losing control.

I don't agree that you are wasting the final years of your life. Depression is an illness, not something that you can choose not to experience, if you could it's not something any one would choose. It wont help you to feel guilty for having something over which you have no control.

You've taken steps by seeing your GP and arranging to see a counsellor. In the meantime now you've had the courage, and it does take courage to talk about it even anonymously, to open up here is somewhere for you to talk if and when you need too.

Take care of you and I'm sure that although it wont feel like it now, this will pass in time flowers.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 18:29:00

Thank you for the reply. So kind and very touching. I was nervous to post but glad that I did.
Feel so lost at the moment. Xxx

Shelflife Mon 04-Sep-23 18:57:55

Thinking of you and wishing you well. You are clearly very distressed, please try not to Google the side effects of medication - only serves to make things worse!! Hope it's not long before you see counsellor . Be kind to yourself and keep posting - lots of lovely people here who will understand. 💐💐💐

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 19:04:29

Thank you.
I have never felt this low in all of my life. I am 71 now and don’t want this to be the way I am for ever.
I will take the medication, I was reluctant but have to give it a try. I have spent the last few weeks in a daze, calling Samaritans, always at GP , A and E etc.
I really have lost all sense of reason over this. I am just terrified of life at the moment.
I appreciate your replies and it is so nice to off load a little about these feelings.

crazyH Mon 04-Sep-23 19:13:15

So sorry that you are feeling this way. I know it won’t make you feel any better, but most of us on here, have had various issues with varying degrees of magnitude, but to each of us, our personal problems feel so much lighter, when we talk about them or write about them. You can post here whenever you feel you want to get something off your chest. Like you I am a googler. Please don’t google the side effects of medication. It will worry you. And bear in mind, the information leaflet is just there to cover the pharmaceutical companies. Take care of yourself xx

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 19:26:47

Thank you. These are lovely helpful replies and I appreciate them very much.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to in person as I really don’t want to share too much with family and friends. I feel a little bit weak that I can’t cope with my problems without losing the plot to be honest.
Everyone tells me to just get on with it. I wish that I could but I can’t at the minute!
This feeling is so awful and I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.
To all the replies, it feels so good to be having a chat. I am normally a very chatty person, I’ve lost my mojo.

pascal30 Mon 04-Sep-23 19:43:35

Hi hairspray, depression will make you feel very hopeless.. please take the medication. It will take a couple of weeks to start to have any effect. but trust that it will make you feel better than you are feeling at the moment. Try to get sleep, eat well and get out for a walk every day.. you might find these things a struggle at the moment. as someone said earlier depression is an illness and you need to try to look after yourself as best you can.. and your family need to understand this as well and look after you.. I wish you well

AskAlice Mon 04-Sep-23 19:49:52

Ignore the "just get on with it" brigade. Not helpful at all. What you need to do it prioritise yourself and be kind to yourself. I've suffered with depression in the past and you need to treat it as the illness it is. Would you feel the same if you had, say, diabetes or high blood pressure and feel the same sense of failure? Anyone can succumb to depression and it is NOT a weakness, whatever anyone says to you.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, believe me. As Smileless says, the effects of anti-depressants are not instant but please hang in there and take all the help you can get, short term and long term.

Sending you my very best wishes and a virtual hug.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 19:53:25

Thank you. There has been some unpleasantness around this with family.
A little bit of ‘pull yourself together’ which is not possible. Also a little remark about making things all about me so I have clammed up I’m afraid.
I know I’ve gone on about things a lot lately but that’s just how I deal with things.
I watch my words a bit now to be honest.

SueDonim Mon 04-Sep-23 20:02:28

I’m sorry you feel so low, Hairspray. flowers People can be very unhelpful at times, it’s not as if you’ve chosen to feel like this.

It sounds to me as though you have a lot of anxiety mixed in, too, worrying about side effects and so on. It’s hard to see the wood for the trees when feeling so overwhelmed but hang on in there, the tablets should help you feel brighter in a two or three weeks.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:08:05

You are all so very kind, I feel a bit tearful reading your lovely words.
I will go into more detail about things in due course. I just needed to reach out tonight and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I will stick with the medication and give it a chance.

Hetty58 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:11:03

Is the medication for the 'ongoing health problem' or the depression?

Doodle Mon 04-Sep-23 20:16:18

Hairspray I invite you to join us on the Black Dog thread if you would like. All in the thread suffer from depression, anxiety, health issues etc. We cannot offer a cure but can offer a listening ear. Not condemnation, definitely not pull your socks up attitude. The thread is ongoing and has offered support to many over the years. Please join us if you choose to do so.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:16:26

The medication is Sertraline for the depression. I’ve never taken it before but GP thinks I am becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and depression.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:23:11

Thank you Doodle.

Coronation Mon 04-Sep-23 20:30:56

I think its understandable to have anxiety after health issues. Also I don't think anybody can understand the impact of poor health unless you go through it. It's stressful not being able to do the things you took for granted.

Hetty58 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:32:15

Hairspray100, thanks. I know somebody on antidepressants who was very reluctant to start them. Now, she says, she feels great, despite having the same worries and problems as before. You should feel much better after a few weeks.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:39:45

That is so true. Also feel a bit useless as I did so much for my family and up to a few months ago, a lot of babysitting and childminding which had to stop due to my husbands new health problems as well.
Always took good health for granted, I thought my husband was strong as an ox and then in the blink of an eye everything can change.

ronib Mon 04-Sep-23 20:42:03

Hairspray100 if I remember, Sertraline takes about six weeks to kick in and then it works well. It is possible to take it for some time and then discontinue by tapering off the dose when you are ready to do without. Hopefully you will feel much better soon.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:45:38

Thank you Hetty58.
I think it’s the thought that you’ll be on them for ever more although GP did say minimum of 6 months.
I’ve made the step now and taken the first one which was very difficult.
Thank you

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 20:47:05

Thank you ronib and all of you for your replies.
I don’t feel so alone tonight after all of your kind words and help.

Sparklefizz Mon 04-Sep-23 20:52:17

Hello Hairspray I can't add anything helpful to all the good advice others have given you, but didn't want to just pass on by, so I'm sending you a hug and flowers. You're not alone.

Woollywoman Mon 04-Sep-23 21:04:11

Hairspray100, I started taking Sertraline in January. It did take a long time - at least 6 weeks - to kick in, but I am glad I stuck with it. Hopefully it’ll help you get through this rough patch. Wishing you all the best.

Hairspray100 Mon 04-Sep-23 21:18:04

Thank you all.
Woollywoman, thanks for that reassurance. I imagined all sorts of problems, side effects, interactions etc etc.
Overthinking and reading too much negative information on Google.
I will stick with it and feel reassured by the lovely thoughtful comments. Thank you all.