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Black Dog 19

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Fri 13-Oct-23 22:36:41

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

nadateturbe Fri 03-Nov-23 15:01:53

Doodle I hope your dear husband is responding to his treatment and that you are OK. Look after yourself. Hugs xx

Whiff You wrote a very thoughtful post to Doodle. It's helpful when you can empathise with someone.
Candy Pushing myself usually works too. But I'm just aware that for others it may not be easy or even possible.
It's lovely having a day off to do just what you want. I hope you (and your dogs) enjoy it, and feel better for it.
HVDY yes, men! Mine would never have known he had pneumonia! Honestly, what do we do with them!
It's lovely to have a DiL you get on with so well.
Hope you manage to get through your boring day!
Sweetpeasue it's good you have the ADs, I hope they work better. But terrible about the pain. I feel so sorry for you. I hope you manage over the weekend, without having to go to A&E.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are having an OK day xx

Sweetpeasue Fri 03-Nov-23 11:19:53

Doodle Thinking of you and sending love and a hug. Do hope your DH is responding well to treatment and getting better.
Candy Enjoy your day off and your swimming. Thankyou for your good wishes for myself and DH.
Whiff Lovely supportive post to Doodle
Nadateturbe Hope you have a much better day with your ME after a quiet one yesterday. Dr called back this morning and leaving prescription for Duloxetine so thats sorted.

Up most of night with bladder pain so pretty doped up at present. It's def getting worse and need to see GP but trying to wait till Mon when the one I prefer is on. DH waiting for call back from surgery.

Hope everyone has a decent day whatever you are doing.

Candy6 Fri 03-Nov-23 10:35:25

Morning all,
* Nadaterturbe* yes, you’re right about it being difficult to push yourself when you’re struggling. I can’t remember how many times I’ve had to do it but I have to say I can’t remember a time when it didn’t work for me. It can be a battle but one you just have to keep fighting. You’ve had a busy week and I’m glad you’ve been able to do those things. TV wise, we’re pretty much the same as you. Thank goodness for our other room! Hope you have a good day today.
Whiff what a lovely post to Doodle, very comforting for her I’m sure. Good advice too about looking after yourself too. Something we can very easily forget to do and one that I didn’t follow too well during bad times. Hope you are well today.
HVDY so nice you get along with your son’s partner. Must be such a joy after the previous difficult relationship. Perhaps that’s why your son was attracted to her, because she’s so much like his lovely Mum! It’s nice that the baby will obviously be brought up in a loving relationship and supportive family. Son is still in the same city but now 20 miles closer so still about 150 miles away. I still miss him a lot but am dealing with it better since I started the ADs. It was an odd thing that affected my MH so much and so unexpected. They said it was a trauma experience after I’d been through so much with him but a difficult one as instead of feeling happy that he was finally settled I went the other way, so lots of guilt involved too. Thank goodness for the AD’s!
Doodle I too have been thinking about you and your DH. I hope things are ok and he will get better very soon. Take care.

I’ve got a “day off” today. A day when I’ve got no real commitments except walking my dogs (younger one is currently pawing me as I type as he’s eager to go). The daily walk takes a bit longer these days as I take them in the car, give older dog a little walk, then he waits in the car while I take the younger one for a longer walk. The older one is 16 but still enjoys a little walk bless him. Will probably go for a swim later and maybe a bit of food shopping. Hubby home later.

Hope all have the best day possible. Special thoughts for Wyllow and Doodle xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 03-Nov-23 08:28:55

nadateturbe You had a busy week! I hope you're resting a bit now.

Candy6 I get on very well with baby's mum - Son2 says she and I are very much alike, personality-wise. She's the polar opposite of the mum of our other 2 GDs. I hope your son's move goes well. Will he be very far from you? Thanks for your good wishes about my DH. He would never have even gone to the GP in the first place (January) if I hadn't made the appointment. Men!

Doodle I kept thinking about you and your husband last night. I hope he's doing well and that he won't be in hospital for long. Do look after yourself, though, too.

Boring chores to do at home today, so I'll do them later. Hope ALL BDers manage to see a bit of sunshine x

Whiff Fri 03-Nov-23 06:54:40

Doodle sorry you both had an accident. Intensive care units are scary but brilliant your darling husband will get the best care . Hopefully he won't be in to long . It's been one thing after another with you both lately . But your love for eachother has shone through. It's a wonder both of you haven't screamed enough. Unfortunately there are times in our lives where everything happens at once . You deal with one thing then wham something else happens not giving you time to recover in between.

Mr D is being well looked after don't forget to look after yourself. Make sure you have plenty of drinks and healthy food and don't forget to take any tablets you are on .

It's all to easy to neglect yourself when worrying about a loved one . Done that several times and it cost me healthwise but you would have thought I would have learnt my lesson. But worrying especially about your husband just takes over. I know I was frightened to go too the loo incase my husband needed me .

Seeing my best wishes to you both. And hopefully you will have a long breathing space before anything else happens once you are both home together.

nadateturbe Fri 03-Nov-23 00:21:48

Sweetpeasue good for you, making the effort. Isn't it just Sods Law that the GP calls when you go out, but at least she'll ring again. I do hope your husband gets his pills sorted properly.
And I hope you enjoy the family visit.
Hello Candy, nice to "see" you. I hope you are well.
I think my husband gets as much pleasure from playing as others get from listening.
I remember chocolate custard in school dinners, loved it.
You're right, we often have to push ourselves when we're feeling low. Easier said than done sometimes.
I can't complain about "crashing" today. Since Sunday I've been to an art exhibition, church, cinema and art club. A record week. Was bound to happen.
I hope you've enjoyed your rubbish tv. We usually have a series we watch together in the evening but we watch quite a lot separately as well.

Love to everyone.
Thinking of you Wyllow3
Thinking of you Doodle and your dear husband. xx

Wyllow3 Thu 02-Nov-23 22:58:34

Night night dear BD's xx all struggling but thinking of MrDoodle in intensive care

Candy6 Thu 02-Nov-23 21:37:38

Evening all,
Doodle I’m so sorry your DH is poorly. I hope he gets better very soon. It must be very worrying for you but at least he’s getting the best care possible, thinking of you both and sending lots of love x
Nadaterturbe I’m sorry you’ve had to stay in bed but I hope you are fully rested now and starting to feel better. How nice of your DH to entertain the residents, it must be lovely for them. I would love to be able to sing, but I can’t. I remember those Heinz puddings too, the chocolate one and chocolate custard 😋.
Sweetpeasue glad you managed to get out despite feeling low. It can help to push ourselves sometimes I think. I hope your AD’s get sorted soon and your poor DH’s meds too. Hope you both manage to enjoy your family visiting this weekend.
Ellie Anne how nice you got to spend time with your older GD. Teenagers can be difficult, my DD was but it didn’t last that long. If you feel you want to go and see DD then do. It sounds like a lot of planning though and a long journey. I’m sure she would appreciate you making all that effort. Relationships can be difficult but family is family and we have to try, which I know you do because you love her and I’m sure she loves you too.
HVDY The photo you posted of your DGD was absolutely gorgeous, such a cutie. Her Mum sounds so nice too and obviously thinks a lot of you. I think very often the son’s mum can be left out and that’s obviously not so in your case and that’s nice. I don’t like last of the summer wine either but my DH sometimes watches it. In fact, he watches lots of rubbish on TV. He’s away at the moment helping our son to move house so I’m enjoying watching “my rubbish”. He always asks if I want to watch anything though and I appreciate that but I know he relishes watching hours of rubbish when I’m not in. Your meal at the day centre sounded lovely. Hope your DH’s tests go well.
Scaredycatyour losses have been horrific. You have done so well to come through it. I often think how people do and think I really would not cope, I’m so weak and have no resilience but I admire people who do. Nice you spent time with the puppy. I love dogs and don’t know what I’d do without mine. I think I’ll always have to have one in my life.
wyllow thinking of you as always x

Love to everyone else too. Take care xx

Scaredycat Thu 02-Nov-23 20:39:50

Doodle- thinking of you and your lovely husband. I hope he is having the best of care and that you have someone who can be there for you too. Sending love.

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 20:02:54

HVDY its really good you've got no trouble with side effects of your ADs.
It's a pity doctors don't have more time to explain.
I too could never see the attraction of Last OTS Wine.

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 19:30:21

Doodle thinking of you and your dear husband Will say a little prayer. I'm sure he will be getting the best care.xx

Sweetpeasue Thu 02-Nov-23 19:23:35

Oh Doodle Thankyou for letting us know. My thoughts and prayers v much with you. Look after yourself and I hope you have someone with you. Such a terrible time for you both. xx

HVDY I realise you're on Mirtazapine and have been v well on them. I'm glad you said initial appetite increase as that was one of the things that concerned me. The Duloxetine is also good for pain as apparently. Hope to speak to her soon about various side effects.
Must admit I'm not a love of Last of Summer Wine myself. Hepatitis? How odd.

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 19:20:25

EllieAnne my daughter and I love each other very much, but we're inclined to clash because we are so similar. (We're both always right!). We just try to avoid certain topics and I often say nothing. I'm sure your daughter loves you and would like to see you. It's a very long drive. I think I would do an overnight halfway, when the weather is better though.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 02-Nov-23 19:05:39

Doodle You and your husband have one thing after another sad. I hope he gets better very soon. x

nadateturbe I used to love those tinned puddings, especially the chocolate one. Nice. Those people will love your husband's entertainment. I expect they'll remember a lot of the old songs.

ScaredyCat The puppy sounds gorgeous. I miss having a cat - we had them for 41 years, until Mr Cooper died a year ago. Never been so long without one. There's a very unkempt pale ginger one that wanders about round here. I'd love to take him in and care for him, but he runs away when any people are around.

SweetpeaSue It certainly sounds as though your husband should be on a higher dose. Poor man. My husband had a call from the GP - she wants him to have blood tests for about 8 things, 2 of them Hepatitis, also Coeliac disease! No idea why (nothing to do with him coughing all the damned time). I noticed you'd said about Mirtazapine - I've been on them for about 5 years (highest dose), and apart from initially having an increase in appetite, I've never had a problem with them. Son1 has been on them for years, too. Hope you get ADs sorted soon.

DH is watching Last of the Summer Wine - a programme I really cannot stand, so I'm listening to music with headphones on. Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Doodle Thu 02-Nov-23 18:46:03

Sorry another quickie. DH not well in intensive care where they’re taking the best care of him.
Keep safe all x

Ellie Anne Thu 02-Nov-23 18:24:50

Dd is a 5 hr drive away.longer if I go by train because of changes but I keep checking for cheap tickets. They’re a ridiculous price.
Nadateturbe we are very different and I seem to annoy her. I always say the wrong thing.

Sweetpeasue Thu 02-Nov-23 17:32:16

I'm low but Ive managed to get out and get some treats to take to so sons house for everyone. Think its coming off the antidepressants but pain ok this afternoon so pulling myself up by bootlaces. While out I missed call from Dr about antidepressants-blast-but she's calling tomorrow.
HVDY The 15mg of prednisolone took away 50% of pain at first (though that's not how it should be). It was then reduced after 3 weeks and he was back to square 1. After putting it up again hes hardly any better at all. It's vital they get dosage right as its going to be a long haul anyway and the longer he will be on them in the end. Hope your own DH got help today. Yes 30th Nov for pain clinic. What lovely comfort food at day centre.
Scaredycat I dont know how you coped with such an appalling loss. I can't imagine such tragedy, I'm so sorry. Life can be so hard and we never know another's burdens and yes we so need to be kind to each other. Hope you got extra puppy cuddles today. 💐
Nadateturbe I'm sure the residents will love being entertained by your DH. What a lovely thing to do. Music/songs is often retained in memories of dementia patients so it's a great way to communicate. Hope your rest has made a real difference. Thankyou for telling me about your experience with ADs. We talked about Duloxetine and. Mirtazapine so I'll see what she says tomorrow.
EllieAnne Weather is pretty miserable though good we're not in a part of country nr worst of it. I think you said it was quite a long drive to your DD so if youre not up to it I can understand it would be better to stay put. Not sure if its meant to stay rainy where you are but hope there's a break so you can have a walk if you feel like it.
Doodle I hope you're alright. What a lot youve had all at once this year.

Hoping all BDs not mentioned are ok and cosied up away from storm.

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 17:30:48

Scaredycat thank you, yes, you're right, I'm not missing much outside. The puppy sounds adorable.
The jigsaw was actually Port Isaac. Good idea for a present, getting one made.
EllieAnne does your daughter live far away. Why do you think she won't want you to visit?

Scaredycat Thu 02-Nov-23 17:01:31

HVDY- puppy was so sweet - a cavapoo . A nice golden brown colour and a sweet little face. She seemed very good considering she is so young. We miss having a furry friend in our house.
Treacle sponge - mouth watering.
Your DH is very handy with home jobs - you are such good parents.
Nadateturbe- Thank you for the flowers xx Having to be in bed some days must be very restricting but today was so miserable,wet and windy you were in a comfortable place!! What was the puzzle of? The lockdown Xmas I had a puzzle made for my DD of a photo of the Grand Canal I had taken - it was done so well.
Hope you feel stronger tomorrow.
EllieAnne- if you want to see your DD I,m sure she would be pleased to see you. Better to go before the cold Winter weather sets in. You have lost your confidence - she loves you I,m sure and it would do you good to have time with her.
Love to all

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 16:18:07

HVDY your food posts make my mouth water! Treacle sponge - I must find a recipe , I used to buy Heinz in a tin.
Honestly, you and your husband are fantastic parents.
Husband plays music from most decades, although not most modern stuff. The organiser is going to give him a list of songs they like. He'll probably do a Christmas thing too. He's playing downstairs now. Probably taking advantage of me being in bed.😁.

EllieAnne I'm stuck in bed today. Have finished a jigsaw puzzle. Do you have any hobbies that might distract you? Hopefully the weather will brighten soon and you can have a walk.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 02-Nov-23 15:24:49

ScaredyCat Puppy cuddles smile. What type of dog?

EllieAnne It is cold, wet and miserable. It's pouring with rain here now.

Just got back from the day centre. Chili con carne, then treacle sponge and custard. DH went to Son2's to put in some extra sockets in 2 of the bedrooms.

Hope everyone is indoors, warm and cosy x

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 02-Nov-23 15:20:55

nadateturbe What type of music does your husband play and sing? I bet the residents (?) will love it.

SweetpeaSue It is this month you go to the pain clinic? I hope you can manage to see your family over the weekend. The steroids (that dose) not helping your husband at all?

Ellie Anne Thu 02-Nov-23 14:17:07

Scaredy-cat that is so sad. I didn’t know.
Oh doodle I m so sorry. I hope mr d recovers quickly.
Hvdy my gd wasn’t off school but mum dad and little sis were away at a sporting competition. She’s definitely developing her own character. I think she could be a tricky teen!
My mood is so low. I want to visit dd but don’t feel up to it and don’t know if she wants me anyway. It’s cold and
miserable outside but I should just be thankful that we’ve no storms.

nadateturbe Thu 02-Nov-23 11:11:50

Scaredycat you've had such awful sadness in your life. Flowers 💐
Enjoy your puppy cuddles today.

Scaredycat Thu 02-Nov-23 10:39:48

Doodle- what a terrible thing to happen after everything I am so sorry . I do hope DH and yourself are recovering today.
Sending many loving thoughts to you both and a big hug too.
HVDY- yes losing a child really is the worst of all losses. I lost his Dad in the same tragedy so a terrible time.
So many people suffer every day and we just need to be kind to one another. Like here.
When I last had a clear out like that I spent so long looking at things it took ages but I am pretty ruthless once I get started. DH is like yours so I do it when he,s out!!
EllieAnne- hope you enjoyed your time with your GD. They are such fun at that age and just starting to experiment with who they are. Hope you didn’t get too wet on your walk.
Nadateturbe- Take care of yourself today - rest and relax.
Hope the Storm hasn’t got to you.
SweetPeaSue- oh a weekend to look forward to. Your GD will be excited to see you both I bet. Hope the pain subsides so you can enjoy their visit.
Wyllow- thinking of you as always - always happy after I see you have postedxx
This afternoon I,m going to see my friend who has a new puppy so puppy cuddles I hope.
Sending love to all and hope the Storm is not affecting you too much. Take carexxxxxx

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