Morning blues

It's always darkest before the dawn. I've noticed that is true about how you feel. 3 or 4 am if you are awake then.

Oh I’m with you all here. Waking up this morning at 5am and started to wonder how my AC would put the house on the market when I’m dead and if they would just put the family heirlooms in a skip. Then I started worrying about where the skip would go. I can laugh now at myself but had to get up and make tea. I always wake up with a feeling of dread as to what today will bring. It’s almost a relief when the phone goes and it’s bad news.

I recognise this feeling too. One thing I find helpful is to make a list the evening before of all the things I would like to achieve the next day. It gives me something to focus on as well as a good feeling when I cross things off the list. It also stops you having that "Will I forget to do it" worry.

It has helped me too Eil4 I've realised I haven't felt as down since I posted this. Sometimes you think you're the only one with a problem and good to realise you're not alone

Depression, from which I have suffered since teenage years, is worse in the morning, hence the staying in bed . It tends to lighten through the day although I often experience a low around tea time.
I'm a GP so ,as well as personal experience I know this is a well documented phenomenon.
Personally I find the only way to get over this is to force myself to get up and moving.
I do understand though that is extremely difficult for some.

Yes I too have these morning moments which only started
during the Covid years with lockdowns. I searched around for answers to it and the only one which has really worked for me
is on waking if I feel the dread arriving I say out loud
'this is a Happy Day' and try to get a happy song going in my
head for a few minutes. It works for me.

SewnSew

I recognise this feeling too. One thing I find helpful is to make a list the evening before of all the things I would like to achieve the next day. It gives me something to focus on as well as a good feeling when I cross things off the list. It also stops you having that "Will I forget to do it" worry.

Might try that list Sewnsew. A lot of days will be similar, work and home but might help me build in some extras like contacting someone, thinking about birthday present etc.. certainly worth a try...

In the middle of the night I put on radio 4 or LBC and set my radio timer 15-30 minutes. It stops the worries filling my head. And at the moment I often turn the news off as it is tragic.

If I wake up scared or feeling down I try to lure myself out of bed by thinking what nice thing I can eat for breakfast.

I have had to cope with various things over the last few years, losing my husband, having cancer , but having a very bad back is the most problematical, as I rarely get a total nights sleep and once awake the worries and anxiety kick in. So some of the things I have found to be helpful. It is called locus of control. Feeling you are in control of what you do. So I try to get back to sleep but accept if it does not work, and then choose what you want to do. It is better than being in pain and stuck in bed feeling bad about things. So I have sometimes got up at what seems crazy times so, 5am , get myself dressed , and put my coffee things and thermos etc in the car and then off I go. Often to the coast which is about 30 miles away. No one about, easy drive and choose my place. Make my coffee , put radio 3 on, watch the sea and ships with my binoculars. Much more calming and less stress as you need to concentrate on your driving. Enjoy the morning and when it gets to about 11am when more people come I then set off home and arrive in time to do some jobs etc. Whatever time I wake up or get up I look forward to Bach before 7 on radio 3. It is my focal point for the morning and I make sure that I am sat with my fresh coffee while I listen, It is calming, wonderful music to me , always feel better when I have heard Bach. So it makes something to enjoy and look forward rather than feeling frustrated about not sleeping. So another point, I keep a notebook by the bed , so that when you have that thought that is worrying you but you need to deal with it later, if you write it down and then CLOSE the notebook, you have parked the problem until the morning. I keep poetry books and also I have various authors that cheer me us. So always have a Billy Connolly book to hand. He can make me smile whatever the problems. I can be worrying on sort of 3 levels, so whilst thinking of the job I need to do later in the day, also worry about the test results and at the same time my mind can go off on yet more worrying thoughts, so I count backwards in 3's from 1000. You have to concentrate so the worrying thoughts get pushed to one side. If you get lost go back to the beginning. The 3's need more thought so help to block the worries. Finally try not to look back and think what a rotten night and it will be bad tonight too. Just accept that the last night was not good, and try not to link the next night to it. If you start to worry about tonight, go looking for a poetry book you like, an old favourite book to put with your notebook and pen by your bed. Finally (dont laugh!) have you got an old silk scarf or pair of silk pants take them to bed with you and like a child has a special toy, just running your fingers through the silk is a good feeling. If you still like the smell of lavender put some lavender under your pillow so that those old familiar scents come through to you. I hope that these ideas may be of some help. When I have a bad patch looking back and reminding myself that I have got through a similar situation is good. I still find myself worrying but things can improve,

madeleine45

I have had to cope with various things over the last few years, losing my husband, having cancer , but having a very bad back is the most problematical, as I rarely get a total nights sleep and once awake the worries and anxiety kick in. So some of the things I have found to be helpful. It is called locus of control. Feeling you are in control of what you do. So I try to get back to sleep but accept if it does not work, and then choose what you want to do. It is better than being in pain and stuck in bed feeling bad about things. So I have sometimes got up at what seems crazy times so, 5am , get myself dressed , and put my coffee things and thermos etc in the car and then off I go. Often to the coast which is about 30 miles away. No one about, easy drive and choose my place. Make my coffee , put radio 3 on, watch the sea and ships with my binoculars. Much more calming and less stress as you need to concentrate on your driving. Enjoy the morning and when it gets to about 11am when more people come I then set off home and arrive in time to do some jobs etc. Whatever time I wake up or get up I look forward to Bach before 7 on radio 3. It is my focal point for the morning and I make sure that I am sat with my fresh coffee while I listen, It is calming, wonderful music to me , always feel better when I have heard Bach. So it makes something to enjoy and look forward rather than feeling frustrated about not sleeping. So another point, I keep a notebook by the bed , so that when you have that thought that is worrying you but you need to deal with it later, if you write it down and then CLOSE the notebook, you have parked the problem until the morning. I keep poetry books and also I have various authors that cheer me us. So always have a Billy Connolly book to hand. He can make me smile whatever the problems. I can be worrying on sort of 3 levels, so whilst thinking of the job I need to do later in the day, also worry about the test results and at the same time my mind can go off on yet more worrying thoughts, so I count backwards in 3's from 1000. You have to concentrate so the worrying thoughts get pushed to one side. If you get lost go back to the beginning. The 3's need more thought so help to block the worries. Finally try not to look back and think what a rotten night and it will be bad tonight too. Just accept that the last night was not good, and try not to link the next night to it. If you start to worry about tonight, go looking for a poetry book you like, an old favourite book to put with your notebook and pen by your bed. Finally (dont laugh!) have you got an old silk scarf or pair of silk pants take them to bed with you and like a child has a special toy, just running your fingers through the silk is a good feeling. If you still like the smell of lavender put some lavender under your pillow so that those old familiar scents come through to you. I hope that these ideas may be of some help. When I have a bad patch looking back and reminding myself that I have got through a similar situation is good. I still find myself worrying but things can improve,

Thanks madeleine, really helpful

I certainly do feel like that, and have down for some years now. If it wasn’t that I have an AC who has learning difficulties at home, I think I might not even get up, but I know that probably wouldn’t help, though it’s a thought to face the day.

What a lovely post madeleine45. I shall think of your drive to the coast with binoculars and coffee when awake at 5.00 and that will cheer me up.

I have to practise thought stopping and I'm quite strict with myself about it. I literally black out unwelcome thoughts.
I don't listen to the news much either.
I ask God to take care of all my loved ones and I know that he will.

I probably shouldn’t even be on this thread as women will not want to read how happy I am to wake up and get my day started. I love my mornings!

First of all, I made it through another night. Grateful for that.

As women get older there’s a lot to reflect on - family, past activities and situations, friendships, current health issues, your current station in life - where you ended up after all the years of living. Things do come flooding back.

I’m not impervious to all this. If something is on my mind, I set it aside when I get up. I start my day by letting the sunshine in (open the windows!) and watch life unfolding. It gets me energized, plus my kitty needs breakfast.

I know and see people who do struggle - my last job in the hospital was all about seeing people struggling at any time 24/7. If there is anything I could contribute to those who are hurting I will do that, and maybe it helps to make their day. Sorry, I’m the optimistic type.
Life is good!
USA Gundy

I feel exactly the same. Not thought about low blood sugar, maybe a snack before bed.
Today I should have gone to keep fit but just couldn't face it. Just done weekly shop and now feel fine. Its so annoying

gundy it's great that you're optimistic- something I lack these days.

farmgran thought stopping sounds ideal if I could do it.

There really are quite a lot of us affected by this

Coco12 Wish I could meet you and have a chat. Wishing you a g’day tomorrow… and the next day…

I wake up and think what am I doing today? And only today. I go through it in my head and try not to think any further ahead. When I have dark thoughts about becoming ill or dying for example I tell myself well it probably won't be today so that's ok. And I never go downstairs unless I am washed and dressed. Recently I started wearing eye make-up which I always used to do when I was younger and it actually makes me feel better.

Lots of tips on here for me to try - and I will. Thank you

coco12

Sundays are so much worse! Why is that. Actually today I feel ok and think just talking on here about it has helped.
I'm thinking about vitamin D though, it's worth a try. Can you use just any cheap one or is it better to pay more? I don't take vitamins normally..

There is a spray type of vitamin D you can buy, although I’m not sure how it compares price wise, but nicer than tablets I think.
If Sundays are more difficult, perhaps you could think of something small to treat yourself in order to create a positive thought.

Wishing you well. Lots of great support and suggestions on here for you. Whatever works for you is great … the simple things of getting moving gently are often effective as you’ve found.
I do sympathise with the early morning awake periods … after you’ve been awake from 3am to 5am for example I challenge even the most cheerful person in the world not to feel miserable. I had this frequently a few years ago but thankful it is now occasional which is a relief

You're right curly and you can massively blow things out of proportion in the early hours! Sometimes not sure what is dark thought, or dream, or reality!
But I've been better this week since posting about it and very grateful for all suggestions

I am relieved to find I am not the only one to have experienced a terrible dread first thing in the morning,this started with me 3 years ago after worrying about medical diagnosis which although incorrect left me with health anxiety.
I was prescribed anti depressants which took time to ease my symptoms.
I.will.read through all your comments again as there are some excellent idea's on this thread.