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When does a few glasses of wine become a problem ?

(78 Posts)
Jenz48 Thu 21-Dec-23 08:48:03

I know I drink too much - my weak time is between 5 and 6 in the evening and I can guzzle 2 or 3 largeish glasses of wine easily .I don’t drink once I’ve eaten (by about 7) but i do drink every day. I have contemplated AA but don’t feel I can cope with that but I worry constantly about my health and don’t seem to be able to have enough self discipline to stop. Any advice?
Just read this through and I sound quite pathetic and self pitying but I would be grateful for any tips!

Kate1949 Thu 21-Dec-23 11:42:42

Exactly Redhead. I am a daily wine drinker and have been for 30 years or so. It relaxes me and for those who say 'you are dependent then', maybe I am. I'm 74. My life has been tough. My daughter said to me 'A lot of people in your position would be on drugs.' I won't beat myself up. I had a full blood test this year and I'm ok. Good luck to you Jenz if you want to cut down or stop.

crazyH Thu 21-Dec-23 11:59:38

I am the youngest of 9. Four of my brothers were high functioning alcholics. They passed away at roughly the same age , 67. My father, on the other hand lived till 83. He liked the hard stuff, but only had a ‘swig’ in the evening

Greyisnotmycolour Thu 21-Dec-23 12:06:34

I agree with Oldfrill. As soon as you feel the urge for a drink, drink a large glass of water, fizzy if you have it. Then pour half a glass of wine and top up with fizzy water. You'll soon feel too full to want to drink any more. Unless you really think you have serious issues with alcohol then this is just a habit that you can change. What happens if you don't buy any with your weekly shop, would you nip out locally to buy some? It's easier to not have it in the house but that's not always practical if you live with others.

Grantanow Thu 21-Dec-23 12:25:32

Thursday to Sunday we share a bottle of wine before and during supper, usually drinking about three-quarters and the remainder goes to top up cooking wine. Monday to Wednesday are usually dry days unless we eat out when we might have a glass each. We very rarely drink beer or spirits. That seems to suit us at 77 and 82.

CoolCoco Thu 21-Dec-23 12:28:55

It takes a good few weeks to break a habit. I switched my evening glass or two to a pint of iced fizzy water with lemon. By. the time I'd drunk that the wine craving had passed. I found it easier to give up altogether than trying to moderate and two years on I don't think about it now.

Katie59 Thu 21-Dec-23 13:31:49

The OP mentioned 3 largish glasses of wine, large glass is 250ml that’s 1/3 of a bottle.
Do get out of the habit of drinking every night it will catch up with you, take a break, get out of the habit.

Theexwife Thu 21-Dec-23 13:37:55

Decrease the amount by a small amount everyday, either by not filling the glass so much or adding water.

Do it slowly then you wont notice, within a couple of weeks you should be down to 2 glasses then you can decrease to as much or little as you feel is right for you.

RosiesMaw Thu 21-Dec-23 14:03:15

Not very helpful but since losing my DH I don’t enjoy drinking wine on my own! A whisky and water or a small brandy , yes but still only occasionally. I associate wine with company and socialising and it just doesn’t taste right alone.
However, to answer OP’s question, I would say when you ask that question, or when you contemplate AA.
When you wonder if it might be getting out of hand and most of al when the first glass slips down with no obvious effect and you need the second.
Do try cutting back - make one glass last all evening or only pour a half glass each time. Try something else to distract you from “wine o clock” and at the very least, drink one full glass of water for every glass of wine you consume. Good luck.

Skydancer Thu 21-Dec-23 14:07:44

Are you drinking whilst you are cooking I wonder? I do this and it's because I'm bored as I dislike cooking.

Dempie55 Thu 21-Dec-23 14:14:42

I also drink wine every day, but found I was drinking 3/4 of a bottle, so some days I would have to open a new bottle, and then I found it difficult to keep track of how much I'd drunk.

Now I am trying to make a bottle last for 3 days. I have switched to a very small glass (more like a large sherry glass). I know I can have 4 of these small glasses per night. (Measured it all out with water so I know a bottle will fill 12 glasses!) I put 4 plastic counters beside the bottle and move one aside for each glass I pour (in case I lose count!) This way I feel like I am having 'several glasses' of wine, but I am only having 1/3 of a bottle per night.

I'm seriously thinking about attempting dry January after Christmas, I want to know if my skin would improve if I gave up alcohol for a month!

Iam64 Thu 21-Dec-23 14:48:33

Dempie, I use a small glass, it’s easier to stick to one small wine about 6.30 befire I eat at 7

Jenz48 Thu 21-Dec-23 18:19:33

Thanks to everyone for taking the trouble to reply. I aim to make this my gaol for 2024 - I gave up smoking 35 years ago which was soooo difficult but I did it. Non alcohol beer seems to be a good idea - non alcohol wine isn’t the greatest! Eating earlier is probably another idea worth pursuing.

LucyAnna Thu 21-Dec-23 18:30:43

I have never been keen on beer - always a white wine drinker - but I had to cut down on alcohol a few years ago following major heart issues. I started trying various non alcoholic wines and beers. The wines were awful, without exception! Of the beers, I found San Miguel 0% lager refreshing, chilled.

Galaxy Thu 21-Dec-23 21:48:50

Oh my God yes non alcoholic is awful.

Lilliesmum79 Fri 22-Dec-23 16:14:21

I think I might be an alcoholic. I seem to have one drink then I can't stop I've even been using excuses to open it. Oh sure it's nearly the weekend etc. I have even been hiding it from husband . I haven't had a drink since 21st October. That night I had several beers and 2 bottles of wine. I was sick that night and can't remember parts of it. Really scared me my mother was an alcoholic so you'd think I'd know better. What's the difference been binge drinker and a alcoholic?

merlotgran Fri 22-Dec-23 16:31:37

Try doing something with your hands like knitting. Focusing on something else will stop you for automatically reaching for the wine glass.

rosie1959 Fri 22-Dec-23 17:18:33

Lilliesmum79

I think I might be an alcoholic. I seem to have one drink then I can't stop I've even been using excuses to open it. Oh sure it's nearly the weekend etc. I have even been hiding it from husband . I haven't had a drink since 21st October. That night I had several beers and 2 bottles of wine. I was sick that night and can't remember parts of it. Really scared me my mother was an alcoholic so you'd think I'd know better. What's the difference been binge drinker and a alcoholic?

Be wary if your mum was an alcoholic in can run in families.
An alcoholic has no off button they find it difficult to regulate or stop drinking once they take that first drink.
Normal drinkers don’t tend to hide how much they are drinking.
I suggest if you haven’t had a drink since October you continue and see how it affects you.

pascal30 Fri 22-Dec-23 17:39:25

it sounds as though this drinking has become a habit so I think that doing something else and eating earlier might be helpful

Jaberwok Sat 23-Dec-23 09:12:05

I come from a family who 'liked a drink)! Many years ago, I was well on the same path. Combined with HP, Not good news. My solution? We just didn't buy it any more! (Hubby not that fussed luckily) We do buy the odd bottle, Xmas and other celebratory times, but as a general rule, we just don't buy it. For me, problem solved!

Theexwife Sat 23-Dec-23 12:25:50

If drinking is causing problems, health, financial or emotional, and you carry on then you have a problem. It is also not the norm if you are hiding the amount you drink or lying about it. Someone with a problem will always find a reason to drink, stress, happiness, loneliness or to be sociable.

The labels of alcoholic or binge drinker are irrelevant. If there is a problem then it is important to do something about it while you can.

If anyone is a heavy daily drinker it is important not to stop abruptly as it can cause seizures, either reduce gradually or seek medical help.

Fleurpepper Sat 23-Dec-23 12:41:14

rosie1959

Lilliesmum79

I think I might be an alcoholic. I seem to have one drink then I can't stop I've even been using excuses to open it. Oh sure it's nearly the weekend etc. I have even been hiding it from husband . I haven't had a drink since 21st October. That night I had several beers and 2 bottles of wine. I was sick that night and can't remember parts of it. Really scared me my mother was an alcoholic so you'd think I'd know better. What's the difference been binge drinker and a alcoholic?

Be wary if your mum was an alcoholic in can run in families.
An alcoholic has no off button they find it difficult to regulate or stop drinking once they take that first drink.
Normal drinkers don’t tend to hide how much they are drinking.
I suggest if you haven’t had a drink since October you continue and see how it affects you.

A terrible prophesy... and a possible excuse?

My OH likes a drink in company, as I do. But as the son of an alcoholic, he made sure it was always only in company, and never over the top. It can have the opposite effect! Same for smoking.

rosie1959 Sat 23-Dec-23 13:34:13

Fluerpepper not a prophecy just a gental warning. Having spent the last 20 years around alcoholics in recovery it is quite common.
Nor an excuse nobody chooses to be an alcoholic just part of their physical make up far more complicated than many think.

crazyH Sat 23-Dec-23 13:46:53

My neighbour was a secret alcoholic. Started in the afternoon and went on till late evening. Her son happened to drop by, went into the garage for something and found all these empty bottles. He threatened to break all contact with her. That and the nonalcoholic wine from M&S helped her to break the cycle. She is now almost teetotal. Jenz - hope you will be able have courage and determination to break the habit. My neighbour tells me she now has no craving for alcohol. Good luck !

Jaberwok Sat 23-Dec-23 14:28:39

Like smoking, drinking is habit forming and difficult to break. It's easy to be less than honest with yourself and kid yourself that it's not becoming a problem, when it is! Been there! For me the only answer was not to have it in the house, then you can't drink it. It's tough but effective.

HousePlantQueen Sat 23-Dec-23 14:49:36

If you enjoy a glass of wine, don't deprive yourself, just try to reduce how much you drink on a daily basis. It is easy to slip into a comfortable habit of having a couple of glasses of wine while you prepare dinner or whatever. As others have suggested, make your white wine into a spritzer with soda and lots of ice. That way you are still enjoying a glass (or two) of wine, but cutting right down on the alcohol content. Sadly, although low/no alcohol beers are reported to be perfectly acceptable substitutes, the same cannot be said for the wine equivalents.