When does a few glasses of wine become a problem ?

I am the youngest of 9. Four of my brothers were high functioning alcholics. They passed away at roughly the same age , 67. My father, on the other hand lived till 83. He liked the hard stuff, but only had a ‘swig’ in the evening

Exactly Redhead. I am a daily wine drinker and have been for 30 years or so. It relaxes me and for those who say 'you are dependent then', maybe I am. I'm 74. My life has been tough. My daughter said to me 'A lot of people in your position would be on drugs.' I won't beat myself up. I had a full blood test this year and I'm ok. Good luck to you Jenz if you want to cut down or stop.

Jenz48 - I am very similar to you. I have been drinking a bottle of wine almost every day on and off for the last few years and really need to put a stop to it. In the past, I have stopped drinking Monday to Friday and just had a drink at the weekend. It didn't last!

I am sure we are not alone and don't think we are alcoholics. You are also not pathetic. I think it is so easy to slide into daily drinking.

I usually have a drink whilst cooking dinner, one whilst eating and the remainder after that. That is three 250ml glasses so a whole bottle. Unfortunately, it has become a routine now. One that I need to break.

I only buy one bottle at a time as once I have had one glass my willpower isn't great. I don't buy casks of wine as the temptation is to drink more, plus you can't easily see how much you are drinking like you can with a glass bottle.

I drink white wine in the summer and red in the winter. I find it harder to give up in the summer as we tend to sit outside and have barbeques (weather permitting) and drinking wine is part of it.

My husband is a moderate drinker and likes red wine. Recently we have been sharing a bottle each night, which stops me drinking the whole thing myself.

I struggle to know what to drink if I don't drink wine. I don't like beer, cider, spirits or fizzy pop. The alcohol free wine just tastes like sugar water to me. I have been drinking Old Jamaica Ginger Beer or Appletiser. Both are OK.

To be honest, I have been getting fed up with drinking. I am overweight and I am sure it is mainly down to the drinking. A large glass of wine is equivalent to a doughnut! Fortunately, apart from wine, I don't have a sweet tooth and never have cakes and biscuits in the house.

Using a smaller glass has never worked for me. I have my own specific glass that I like to use.

I am psyching myself to give up in the new year. I know that lots of other people will be doing the same.

Maybe we should start a post in the new year to help one another.

Jenz please do not go cold turkey. The easiest method and you will hardly notice it is to pour a smaller amount and maybe mark the glass so that you know how much to pour the next evening. Just reduce it very slowly.

Do you want to stop totally or maybe reduce to half a glass per day?

I do not like spirits but I do enjoy a glass or three of wine with food. What I now do is only have wine if I am cooking something "special" such as steak and trimmings and not if I am having eg boiled eggs and chips, one of my favourites. (I do not like poached or fried eggs).

Good luck, it is achievable and as somebody said, that can be your NY's resolution.

Lots of really good advice already...could you change a few things?
Buy alcohol free wine, smaller glasses, have a wine / soda spritzer, eat a little earlier etc?

Stopping anything can be difficult and changing the pattern a little easier.

Kate1949 I agree a lot of people drink wine but more seriously how about the gin drinkers or other spirit drinkers which is more alcoholic than wine.
My advice is cut down as other people have suggested dilute it or have smaller glasses. There is no need to deprive yourself it’s not as if you are grabbing for the vodka bottle as soon you wake up.

The OP does say 2/3 large (ish) glasses a day and uses ‘guzzle’. Maybe an exaggeration, but I know someone whose first glass every night was ‘necked’ so fast, it barely touched the sides.
Yes, a 75cl bottle holds 6 small glasses, but as most outlets call 25cl a large glass, the bottle only holds 3 glasses.
When DH was alive, opening a bottle was 3x weekly routine for us, but chemo soon put a stop to that! However, he changed to alcohol free wine and I made my bottle of red wine last all week, using a smaller glass, sipping and savoring.

I think the OP is getting some good advice here.

I first went to AA in 1984 and have been clean and sober ever since please give it a try and remember everybody is there for the same reason as you..

Surely two or three glasses of wine a day can't be classed as heavy drinking? If it is, then I think a lot of people would be in trouble. Surely it depends on the strength of the wine, the size of the glass etc. We all know the guidelines and the advice.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/

www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/tips-on-cutting-down-alcohol/

Some useful advice here. Do something about it . Good luck!

Jenz stop buying the wine . So there is none in your home to tempt you. This isn't really the same thing but when I decided to tackle my obesity. I had to stop buying foods I have no control over ice cream ,chocolate ,biscuits ,cheese apart from cheddar which I cut and freeze and bread products.

It's hard to stop yourself buying what you like. But if it's not in your home you can't have it.

This isn't meant to be rude but when was the last time you had a full blood test . Because if you have been drinking this over a long period of time it will show in your liver results.

I think a standard bottle of wine holds 6 standard glasses of wine so if you are drinking that much everyday you must be getting through few bottles a week.

It's hard to give something up but you have to think about your health. I lost 7st slowly over 4 years and very glad you did.

In 2017 I got jaundice through being on 2 tablets since 1992 . You do not want jaundice through liver damage . It's awful took me 5 months before the gastrologist discharged me and then told me people with my bilirubin levels normally died as they where well over 1,000 but he wouldn't tell me how much. I was lucky not to have any liver damage .

Because of my health getting worse and me not mixing alcohol and tablets I have had 3 sips of champagne in 35 years . 2 weddings and a 90th birthday party.

I had an alcoholic uncle he drank beer . He's wake up call when he went to hit his mom my nan because she wouldn't give him beer money. It cost him his marriage and 2 children. He asked his GP for help and this was back in the early 80's and he went to hospital to dry out. He never drank again and wouldn't even have sherry trifle. He said once an alcoholic you are one for life even if you don't drink.

I am not calling you an alcoholic but this happened to my uncle . He's children where in there 20's before the reconnected with him. He died from cancer of the liver 20 years ago

You are not pathetic or self pitying you are asking for help. You know you have a problem and that takes courage to admit it. Your GP surgery can put you in touch with people who can help you . But you have to phone and ask. Do it today the receptionist may give you a number or numbers to call. But get a blood test booked .

If you want to know what jaundice does to your body I will PM you if you want to know . But it will be warts and all information.

From what you say Jenz48 and if you are being honest about the amount you drink and when I doubt you are an alcoholic.
There is quite an easy test for this normal drinkers who feel they are drinking too much can make the choice to cut down or adjust the amount they drink. An alcoholic has no off button and would be highly unlikely to stop at that one bottle or when they have their evening meal.
Although you say you have contemplated AA what makes you feel like this.
As others suggest have your evening meal earlier or adjust the glass size
But if you feel your drinking is making you desperately unhappy or is starting to slide beyond that few glasses then contact AA.
I am now nearly 20 years sober in AA

Best idea is not to buy any alcohol then it’s not a temptation, choose a distraction to fill the time, maybe a swim or an hour in the gym. 3 large glasses is most of a bottle, that’s too much every day, it’s a lot of calories too, don’t drink at all for a month, if you socialize have orange juice.

Yes I too switched to non alcoholic beer and wine with fizzy water. I stopped drinking those after a period of time .
When we know we are drinking too much are we waiting for something like ill health to make us stop?

I find I get thirsty at this time and if I have a glass of water I tend not to get the wine bottle out.

Jenz48 first thing to say is you are not alone. 'Social' drinking has increased across all groups. The point is you have recognised it yourself as a possible problem for your health. There is some helpful advice on this on the NHS website together some links to agencies that can support you. Reduction is probably the first line rather than abstention I would have thought and the advice re 0% alcohol drinks which are plentiful and varied in the shops. My husband virtually only drinks those now and finds the taste of them has improved immeasurably - sadly not the wines but plenty of other kinds. You don't say whether you live alone or if there is anyone there who can join you in your healthy quest. Christmas I would say is a very difficult time to decide to reduce although not impossible. NYE is of course the traditional time to make resolutions. I think the most important things is to seeks some support from family and friends but if that isn't possible then do follow one of the links on the NHS site. Of course Gransnet can be a great help and there are plenty of others here myself included who will be reducing alcohol after Christmas if not before so keep us posted and I'm sure you will get the encouragement you need.

I am going to sound very harsh here but…if your body wasn’t getting that it may well now go in to what used to be known as the DTs if you stopped abruptly. You are probably better off trying to cut down slowly and gradually ease back. All the above advice has been pretty decent. 💐 good luck and be kind to yourself.

I would say if you are drinking every day that is a problem. I say this as someone who has in the past had a drink every day. I rarely drink now. What helped me as sad as it sounds was non alcoholic lager, it felt like I was having a drink. I knew that I was drinking too regularly and that alcohol had become a 'crutch'. If you are asking the question then I would imagine you know yourself whether theres a problem. Sorry if this is a bit blunt.
I found that reducing didnt really work for me but everyone is different.

It sounds as if you are drinking almost a bottle a day, which of course isn’t good. The guideline for women is 14 units - less than a bottle and a half a week. That’s not meant to sound like a lecture.
Have you always been a heavy drinker, or has something happened in your life to make ‘guzzling’ 2/3 glasses necessary (for you)?
Is this simply a habit you’ve fallen into - my evening routine was a cup of tea and 2 Tunnocks, which I eat so fast, I hardly enjoy. Not the same I know, but I now try to take my time pottering around first, thinking about my evening meal and often just have the tea - better for my weight too!
Perhaps eating earlier might help you, or as Iam says try and find something else to do? Do you live alone or have family? Any hobbies to get engrossed in to occupy your mind and body?
However, you go on to say that you worry constantly about your health and maybe your first port of call should be a chat with your GP about this?
Perhaps other GNS, better qualified than me, can offer some advice.

You are recognising a problem so that is the first step.
You may not yet feel able to go to an AA meeting but here's their helpline number if you just want to chat I'm sure they will help.
0800 9177 650
They also have an email and there's lots on their website.

I think you will start to feel better as you start to take control of this.

Thinking of you. 💐

My question would be, are you drinking out of daily habit or because you enjoy the actual taste of wines? I realised I was drinking an unnecessary amount just because it was there, (I used to buy wine in a box with a spout and go to it regularly). So I swapped to buying a really good expensive bottle for Fridays only as a treat and that broke my habit.

Could use lemonade or tonic instead of water

Spritzers in a bigger glass, half the wine you normally put in a glass and more than half water. Put the water in first and you'll taste the wine more. Alternatively soft drinks between wines (this works for hubby - usually).
Good luck

Would eating a bit earlier help?

The only advice I can think to give is changing the glass to a smaller one, then 2 or 3 would mean you're not drinking as much, but what I really want to say is there's nothing pathetic or self pitying about your OP Jenz .