Black Dog 20

EllieAnne Your kitchen looks very posh. You've made a great job (and it's so clean and tidy too). I hope you can forgive and forget whatever it is your daughter has said/done. I think life is too short to fall out, especially with family (even if the other person is in the wrong). My pain only started a week ago so I doubt I need a new hip (I certainly hope not at 64). Your cat is pretty .

ScaredyCat The girls are 12 1/2 and 9 (don't they grow up quickly). Hope your day has been alright. So you're handy with hair clippers - my husband's hair is shoulder-length, for about 2 years, he's refused to have it cut but says he will when he's 66 in April .

Doodle Has the ache in your chest started since you had the pacemaker, or did it start before that? Hope you get it sorted out soon.

SweetpeaSue It's good that you're going to be seen so soon. You probably got a cancellation. The sooner you are seen, the sooner you'll be able to be diagnosed and treated.
I understand what you mean about AC thinking we're still there for them. Mine are the same. My sons forget, I think, that DH and I are now elderly. We don't tell them anything much about health concerns and tend to play things down so as not to worry them.

My hip/thing/groin pain (I can't somehow pinpoint it as it doesn't hurt when I press anywhere) hasn't happened today (yet). It's been a good day - the weather's been mild, it gets light earlier and stays light a bit longer. It was curry and rice at te day centre. Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

EllieAnne I really love your kitchen and the lovely flooring too. The grey looks beautiful with your units. You are so clever to be able to do all that. What a cut little cat. Like * Scaredycat* I noticed him/her aswell.
I wish I was closer emotionally and distance wise to my AC too. Son 1 is 2and half hrs drive so I know that's much close than your DD. We haven't been able to do our usual drives down there over the past couple of yrs. I don't think our AC see us as other than parents who are there for them. There are things I wished I'd asked my own parents when they were alive that I didn't go into. I understand there can be areas that are too painful for families to address so we try not to go there. I'm talking of myself now , so not presuming on your own situation. I can see how lonely you are and I'm so sorry. I hope you can feel better about the circumstances leading to this latest thing with your DD soon so you won't be so troubled. Sending you a sincere warm hug. I can see you are a kind person. X

Doodle I'm so sorry you're having all these health problems between you both. I hope you can get this chest pain sorted and there's a simple solution. It's very hard when you are both trying to look after each other.
Have been called today and had my appt at Maxillofacial brought forward to next Tuesday. I feel so panicky and just have this terrible feeling about it. The white ulcerated patch been unchanged for a long time. Makes it so awkward next week as DH has head scan at other side of hospital an hr later than my own appt. Looks like I'll end up on my own.
Sorry everyone- I know you've all got your own problems.
DH's headache really bad today.
Everything has come at once.My son leaves today for his work offshore and, of course, not told him anything.
Sorry I sound so negative.

Ellie Anne I love your kitchen. It looks beautiful and the colour goes so well. You must be pleased with it. I had to take a second look to see the cat. He looks very happy with the new colour.
Hope you manage to sort things out with your DD. It’s always upsetting when there are family problems.
HVDY good idea about MIND. No wonder you like going to the day centre if they’re a friendly bunch.
Scaredycat I wasn’t aware I had fluid on the lungs till they told me. I’m aware something isn’t quite right in that I have a sort of ache across the top of my chest whenever I bend down to pick something up. You might think you’re old but you never sound it. Always ready with a kind thought for us all.
Yes my church is great. I’m very lucky. I thought my previous one was ok but I didn’t know many people there really. It was quite a big church in a large town and lots of people attended but it had its cliques. The one I attend now is tiny by comparison but so much more cosy and friendly. Not come across one like this before.
Sweetpeasue had any news of your appointment yet? How are you and your DH?
wyllow kind of you to offer advice xx

Scaredy-cat I didn’t realise the cat was there till I’d taken the photo! He is very photogenic.
I’ll try to speak to dd at the weekend. Hoping to visit in march but I see the trains might be off again.

Hi all.
Nadateturbe- Ah you are not a moan you are just tired of being tired and in pain. I hope you slept better last night - 4 am was no time to be doing the shopping! I,m putting my order in this morning it seems to come round so quickly.
Hope today is better for you.
SweetPeaSue- maybe you could fit in a haircut soon- it,ll make you feel better. I cut DH hair yesterday - since lockdown I have done it. His hair is really thick so I just do the clippers over it- we could stuff a cushion with what comes off!!
You have your tongue appointment now - I know you will worry I would too but there’s nothing you can do till then so try not to whatiffery too much. Easier said than done though.
Thank goodness your DH has his appt next week- it sounds very scary for him but should be a help in finding out why he has these headaches.
Hope you can get out today if the sun is shining.
HVDY- what a great day you all had yesterday. Bowling is fun but I can’t do it anymore. It must have aggravated your hip a bit.
I,ve forgotten how old the girls are but it’s lovely when you can have a day like that - they will have happy memories of those times.
AF same as always- makes me feel old - Oh I forgot I am old😩
Won’t let it stop me though if I can help it!
Doodle- you put it perfectly- Alzheimer’s is such a sad way to end your life.
Does the fluid on your lungs affect your breathing? It,ll be good to get some answers at the clinic but it’s hard not to worry isn’t it.
Your Church sounds such a lovely place to be - people who are truly kind and friendly. I,m glad you have somewhere like that to go to .
Shall we book a group MOT - I,d fail mine for sure😄
Mell967- sorry I can’t help you but Welcome and I,m sure somebody will be able to.
EllieAnne- the kitchen looks great - nice cat too.
Sorry you have a problem with your Daughter- whatever was said or done she probably didn’t mean to hurt you. As the song says- you only hurt the one you love.
Can you phone a friend today and go out for coffee or a walk?
Wyllow- lovely to see you as always-

Love to all those mentioned and those not. Have the best day possible

It’s darker

Hvdy haven’t spoken to her because I don’t want to say something I’ll regret but am very hurt. Can’t go into it .
Do you need a new hip. That usually causes groin pain.?
I wish I was closer to my family both in distance and emotionally.
The last few nights I’ve been up with terrible indigestion. I know it’s my own fault because I drink and eat rubbish late at night.
I keep trying to stop but then I let myself down again.
The kitchen is grey. It’s than I expected but I like it.

SweetpeaSue I'm known as "Mammar", a term that's popular in Nottingham. We've been bowling lots of times before - I think I first went about 35 years ago. I'm still no good at it . I used to sit sobbing at counselling (after the stroke) and always looked in a state - snotty nose all red from wiping it, puffy eyes, etc. Yes, we all need an MOT!

Doodle Your church friends sound very nice and friendly. The day centre place I go to is like that. I didn't have a bath after all - too much of a struggle to get out at the best of times. I used Voltorol gel (not a lot of good). Hope you and your husband have a better day today. Are you managing to sleep ok at night?

EllieAnne Well done on painting the kitchen. What colour? Have you argued with your daughter? I hope you manage to get out and chat with someone today.

Mel1967 Have a look at MIND charity website. Under the heading of "useful contacts" there are various telephone numbers and websites that friends/relatives can use for help/information.

Wyllow3 Wishing you well.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

I know that locally the local Carers Support organisations have special help for what you ask. I just googled my local "(town name) carer support" and got there.

Night night all. Still very poorly MH wise xx

Does anyone know of support groups or help for relatives living with someone that has mental help problems??
Thank you

Have had my 3 days of peace. Have painted the kitchen and cleared out the shed and garage. But dd has really upset me and I feel separated from my whole family.

Scaredycat Alzheimer’s/Dementia is so bad. Such a sad way to end life. So sorry your friend is going the same way.
I’m ok thanks though I know I’m not in perfect health. I have fluid on the lungs. Not sure how much but I know it’s linked to heart failure. I’m being seen in clinic in two weeks time but have no idea what they’re going to say.
Yes I did get to church today. It was Ash Wednesday so I’ve been ashed and had communion. Such a lovely bunch of people. Very lucky to have found such a church. Wish Ellie Anne could find one as good.
Yes you do learn to live with things but it’s difficult when tiredness is ever present.
nadateturbe it’s strange but I have some of the same things too. My arms hurt like someone has a band round them, stomach aches too. If I bend forward to pick something up I feel an ache in my chest. Not good when you don’t feel ok is it.
How’s your DH been today?
We get each other cards too normally. This year DH couldn’t get out so I picked a nice card and we sent it to each other,
Sweetpeasue you sound like me. I used to have a friend who when she cried looked absolutely perfect after. No red eyes or puffy eyelids. Me I look a right mess. Oh the haircut. What bliss. So light and free now. I have very thick hair and when long there’s so much of it to dry and tame. The hairdresser thins it for me and it’s so much easier.
I can understand it’s a worry about your DH. Best thing will be the MRI . Good it’s so soon. Hopefully it will put your mind at ease.
HVDY yes did make church and had some hugs from the lovely people there. All down to earth ‘normal’ people. No airs or graces or superiority just ordinary nice folk. Lovely place.
Those girls must enjoy coming to you. Like me with mine, you do things together. What a lovely day they must have had.
Sorry about your pain. Hope the bath helps ease it.
Sweetpeasue what a brilliant idea. We need a Black Dog MOT and service for us all. And as nadateturbe says I could do with an oil change, 🤣
Wyllow sleep tight x

Oh Nadateturbe* Just seen your post-you poor soul! It makes it all so much worse when you're both not well together. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this . It must be hard for you to explain to others what this M.E. is like and how bad it can affect you. Good thing we don't know when we are young how bad our health can get in older yrs. I never actually thought of myself as old until our health was affected. You must have had a bad night to be doing your order at 4am. Sending a hug and hope tomorrow is much better for you both.
HVDY Phew , your day made me exhausted just reading how full it has been. Your GDs must love coming to you. What a fun Grandma you are( Sorry I forgot , is it Nana?) No wonder your pain is bad after all that. I've never been bowling bit my sons have.
GP hasn't ruled out migraine, but DH really doesn't think it is that. He does get the pain first in the temples first, then goes into middle of forehead.
We're all falling apart on here! We need an MOT. 🙄 . Hope the bath eases your pain. X

nadateturbe I hope your bowel settles down soon. Do certain foods trigger it off? Son1's GF had a similar problem, she's lactose intolerant. It can't be nice to have that as well as all the aches you've got as well today. You were up at 4am doing an online order? You must be tired.

Doodle I've started the painting but not done much of it. How are you and your DH? It feels good to have a trim, doesn't it - I'm going to get my hair done in a few weeks. Did you go to church today? Chat with people there?

ScaredyCat Yes, dementia of any type is awful. I did a lot of care work with dementia patients - it's very sad for the family and friends to see their loved one "disappear". I hope your AF hasn't been too bad today.

SweetpeaSue It's quite unlikely that a biopsy would be done of your tongue. It's easy for me to say, but try hard not to worry. Your DH doesn't sound good. Hope the scan will at least determine what might be wrong. Has the GP ruled out migraine?

It's been a long, but good, day. The girls were here at 7.45, had breakfast with us, then watched YouTube. They do have iPads but didn't have them today. We went bowling (I came last ) for 2 hours, then for a pub lunch (and pudding), then park, Asda, back here and watched a film, then they had a sandwich, crisps and fruit and have just gone (DH's taken them). My hip (it's more thigh/groin) is killing me. I'll have a bath later. Hope ALL BDers are ok x

HVDY Hope your trapped nerve pain isn't too bad today and you are coping with the DGDs .It's quite a long day to keep them from boredom. You can only be out and about so long, especially in bad weather. Do they have i-pads too?
Nadateturbe Thankyou for the hugs and supportive ,friendly words. It's difficult for you too with your own problems and it's hard to watch your DH not well too. My bowel probs were extreme in the year(2021) following the hysteroscopy that was botched and I'm terrified it gets to that stage again. A bowel adhesion was found in Sept 2022 at Laparoscopy which was snipped but know its common for them to grow back. It can be difficult to keep track of everyone's posts , I'm the same, so we can only write what we are able. Your kindness comes over in your posts, don't worry. I hope your DH is a little better today and you too.
Scaredycat You're right, of course about the 'bless you' or just 'Bless' - they're worse things for us to hear! 50 yrs is a long time to have a close friendship and it must be so hard to watch her go through all this traumatic time with her DH and her own mental state. Thank goodness she is in decent health otherwise. You must look after yourself too -the AF must be so difficult to deal with. I don't waste much energy on housework myself these days, I admit.
Doodle I'm desperately in need of a proper haircut. Glad you feel better after yours. How is your DH getting on with his scooter? Hope it's proving to be a good buy. Not sure about the 'good cry' . I end up looking such a mess and have to come straight home in case I frighten people! You're right I won't stop worrying about the tongue thing. I'm imagining all sorts. Appt is 28th. Wonder if they'll need a biopsy. Darent think about it .

So worried about DH and his headaches. He had another today and he seems confused and unable to walk at normal pace when he has one. His CT head scan is next week so not long to go.

Hoping everyone is having a decent day and love to all.

Not great today. Upper back sore, arm muscles sore, even my feet hurt when I walk.. lower stomach It's like my body needs oiled and my muscles have no strength. I feel so old and weary. My poor husband had to make breakfast. He's slightly better than me. It's hard managing alone.
I did a Sainsbury order at 4am, the only place that could deliver today. Almost out of milk.
My arms sore typing now. Must finish. I'm a right moan.
Doodle Scaredycat will answer soon.

HVDY* I hope your hip pain is manageable today. You've a long day ahead with the children. What have you been doing with them?
You all had a great time yesterday.
You're right, mud washes off. Might as well let them enjoy themselves.
Your card was funny. It's nice you exchange cards. My husband had to fetch his from the boot of the car, where I had hidden it, as I'm not feeling great.
I hope your hip thing doesn't become a long term problem.

HVDY- feel so sad for my friend as her husband will never come out of hospital and she is getting worse every time we see her. Alzheimer’s and dementia are so very cruel as you know only too well.
You did well to manage the farm park with your hip pain - hope it’s easing off today as you have them again. I wonder what you are doing!
Ha ha - the Valentine card is priceless but lovely to receive anyway😂
SweetPeaSue- it’s good you’re being seen soon for your mouth problem but HVDY is right it just means they need to check it for you. My DH had it with his cough last year and I panicked!
Hopefully having a good old cry and letting everything out will have done you good. You are NOT a wreck just somebody who has been in pain and worried for far too long.
Every time anyone younger says “bless” to me I cringe - although of course they could say far worse!
Nadaturbe- hope you’re feeling less tired today and that your DH is doing better. I think stress affects your digestive system hugely - hope you feel more comfortable soon.
You,re right about using energy wisely- I don’t fret about housework but love to be doing something .
Seeing my friend ( of 50 years!) is always upsetting now but we love her very much. Physically she is very fit thank goodness .
Doodle- bet you feel better now after your haircut- it’s a lovely feeling when your head feels lighter. At least you won’t walk into things now! Did you go to Church this morning?
How are you physically now? I don’t suppose DH has been on his scooter yet- it’s so damp and chilly.
I,m just really sad about my friend- she is becoming ill too .
The AF is the same everyday so makes me very tired but you learn to live with things don’t you. Thank you for asking.
Wyllow- sending a hug
Love to all those mentioned and those not. Take care allx

Had my hair cut yesterday. Such a relief I can now see where I’m going.
nadateturbe hope the steroids start to work soon and your DH feels better, has he started eating yet?
HVDy love the card. 🤣 It’s the thought that counts as they say.
Bet you all had fun with the animals. Not too sure about the snakes myself. Have you started your new painting yet.
Hope that trapped nerve is wearing off now,
Sweetpeasue not surprised with all that’s going on you had a crying session with the psychologist. Perhaps it did you good to let it all out. This two week wait thing happens often. I had one for my chest when I was coughing a lot. DH has had a couple for various things. They do it to rule out anything sinister. I know you won’t stop worrying but hope you get an appointment soon.
Scaredycat how did you find your friend? I know it was hard for my SIl when my brother had to go into care with Alzheimer’s. Has your AF been any better today?
Thinking of you Wyllow

Scaredycat I hope you had a good visit yesterday. It's hard watching friends suffer and change. And sad too. I hope it didn't tire you too much. Be careful not to do too much work. We're having to get used to everything not being done so often. It's a matter of using energy wisely.

Sweetpeasue I'm reading back through posts, not sure I'll remember everything. The bowel pain, I've had some similar problems and I'm putting it down to exacerbation of ibs due to either stress or eating something that upset my system. I'll just keep an eye on it. Maybe yours is similar.
I'm sorry about your referral for your tongue. Another worry. It really is too much. No wonder you cried.
You are very brave because you never give in. You koko. I hope you don't wait long for your appointment, the waiting doesn't help. And glad your husband is referred too. Sending love and hugs. xx

Night night all xx

Dear all. Sorry I don’t have time to read and catch up tonight. We’ve had our son round and now it’s quite late and I need to get some sleep as I want to get up early tomorrow and go to church for the first time in ages.
Hope you’re all ok. Proper catch up tomorrow.

HVDY Oh your card- so funny. He won't live that one down.
Long day to fill in tomorrow-you will need lots of energy. Good luck. They are luck girls indeed.
Wyllow Sending love .x

Doodle Hope you both have been OK today.
Nadateturbe*Scaredycat**EllieAnne Whiff*Candy Wishing all a peaceful night.