Black Dog 20

Evening all
Frogoet I’m sorry your life is a struggle at the moment but try and hold on to the fact that things can get better. I have had struggles with illness in family members too. You manage to get through somehow. Try and take advantage of any support networks available to you and post here when you feel the need. We are all friends in it together, however long it takes. You don’t mention if you are getting any help medication wise. As myself and others on here have found, it can help. It’s not for everyone though and you have to make your own choices. I wish you and your husband well.
Whiff hope you got a good rest and feel less tired now.
HVDY sounds like you had a good catch up with your friend and a nice lunch too 😀. Foxy is a fussy creature. Maybe someone else feeds him too so he has a choice of what’s on offer 😂.
Scaredycat glad you had a nice visit from your family. Unplanned visits can be the best ones. The 8 year old with a cup of tea 🤣.
Doodle Sorry you had a difficult day. I hope you get some rest tonight.
Love to Nadaterturbe Sweetpeasue Ellie Anne and everyone else. Special,thoughts to Wyllow.
Very tired after work today. It was a busy day. I’m glad I put a casserole in the slow cooker so it was ready when I got home 😀. Didn’t sleep well either last night so hopefully have a good rest tonight. Night all xx

HVDY there's nothing like a good 'yap'. I'm sure your friend is annoyed with her husband, I would be.
Doodle I'm sure you're shattered. And feeling down. Hugs.
Goodnight to everyone, I hope you are all OK.

So sorry I’m not able to post much. Really late home tonight.
It was a really emotionally and physically draining day today. I fell completely wrung out. Sweetpeasue I have always known you suffered from so much pain seeing DH going through this day after day for 6 weeks now I can easily understand how you can get very low. It’s hard isn’t it.
wyllow hope you’re ok.
HVDY give that baby a cuddle from me
Scaredycat hope you are doing ok but bet you’re not out much in this awful weather.
Ellie Anne hope your coping better now the whole holiday period is over.
Candy are you back at work now, hope you had a rest.
Whiff you bring such support to people on this thread. Sadly your own life experiences and losses help you to help others.
Sorry for those new and others I may have missed out.
Love to all x

ScaredyCat Thank you. Hope you have good health, too.
What a lovely surprise you had. Kids drinking tea - . Aren't kids entertaining. Big school will be very different to juniors, but exciting.

I met my friend for lunch at our regular garden centre (we never look at any plants though ). It was good to have a yap - we never stop talking. She's still annoyed and upset about her husband watching porn (live webcam stuff) so is giving him the silent treatment. It's rained every minute of the day here. Hope everyone has been ok. x

That was a lovely surprise yesterday Scaredycat , and a bonus of no tidying.
Hope your head has eased Sweetpeasue.
Thinking of you Doodle and remembering you in my prayers.
Reading and sending good wishes to all.

SweetPeaSue - hope the virus is on its way out today- you needed that like a hole in the head😩 Hope the New Year will bring help and answers for you and also your DH will feel stronger. Take care.
Candy- I,m so glad for you that your meds have lessened the pain of saying goodbye to your Son. I know how you feel as I only see my Son once a year when he visits from abroad- it was Such a gut wrenching feeling. So grateful for the ADs - my family say like you said why didn’t I take them earlier- I too was too scared. Better late than never eh!
Dont work too hard remember to take time out for your selfx
Wyllow- so good to see your post- it makes my day.
Frogoet- firstly you are not a fraud - you are a friend and we all care. Like Whiff I,m not sure if it is you or your husband who is poorly - or both. That is a huge thing to deal with and not seeing your children makes it doubly hard.
It is so hard to find positives when your mind is full of worry and sadness but Life changes continually and is always something to cherish.
Do you have friends or siblings you can chat to.
We are all here for each other and we care.
HVDY- Hope you enjoy your lunch today and have a good old chat.
Your Mr Fox is getting picky isn’t he- back to jam sandwiches for him!!
It’s dark here too and rainy and windy. Tidied some cupboards instead of walking - DH is at the Gym. Wishing better health for you and DH for this New Year.
Doodle- I hope there are more staff at the Hospital today so you can get proper information and help for your DH.
Hope too you are getting on ok with the pacemaker and managing to get some rest.
We had a surprise visit from eldest GD and her 2 children yesterday afternoon. We,d just finished a bit of tidying up but they were so tired after all this weeks excitement it was still tidy when they went!! The 10 year old is starting big school in Sept so lots to tell us and the 8 yr old had a cup of tea instead of Squash which tickled us.! So lucky to have them near.
Wishing all BDs old and new and readers a good day.

CountessFosco It's nice that you've got family nearby. This country is not what it used to be, but still has some good things going for it. There's a lot wrong with the NHS, but parts of the system are excellent. I hope you manage to feel more settled in this new year (perhaps join some groups?) Have you made any friends here?

Doodle Nobody should have to fight for the treatment they need. I hope that with a full staff, things will improve. You and your poor husband must be worn out. Take care of yourself.

SweetpeaSue I hope you feel better soon. Hopefully, it won't last too long. Take care.

Candy6 I'm pleased you saw your son but no longer have those horrible feeling afterwards. I remember I used to feel like that, but the ADs definitely help.

Frogoet Sorry, is it you or your husband who has got cancer? That's a devastating diagnosis but it's not necessarily hopeless. You say your husband has full-time care. That must be very difficult, too. You say you've made mistakes, but we all have, in life. Please come back and post again. You can say whatever you are comfortable with saying. Nobody on here sits in judgement. It sounds as though you could do with some understanding, and that's what we all try to do here.

Whiff You understand what this lady must be going through.

Wyllow3, ScaredyCat Nadateturbe, Coolgran, EllieAnne, hope you all had a decet night's sleep.

It's adark morning here. Foxy came at 1ish. He ignored the pork steaks! Fussy thing. I'm meeting my friend for lunch today. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Frogoet I was very tired when I read your post. Is it you who has cancer or your husband? And did you mean you don't get on with your husband or children . Read your post again still doesn't seem clear to me.

If you don't want to clarify you don't have to . This site has lot of long term who users who are understanding,non judgemental, supportive and friendly. They help anyone who needs it whilst going through awful things themselves and with loved ones they worry about.

Frogoet GN isn't just for grandparents but most people are over 50. GN is for people who have lived and here for those who need help or just to chat.

Sorry your husband needs a full time carer and your mention of McMillan leads me to think he has cancer. I know what thats like . You are like we where having the sword of Damocles hanging over you waiting for it to drop. I know first hand how hard that is to live with day in day out..

Just popped on to make sure Wyllow had checked in . Always relieved when she has. But saw your message and couldn't ignore you.

Life no matter how hard is worthwhile. I don't believe in quantity but quality. At the moment you haven't got much quality. But that is because of your husband's health. Also from your comments you are if I get this right either estranged or partly estranged from your children . And I know what that is like. Also living far from your children. I did that for 13 years. Because I was needed where I used to live as I had dependant parents and mother in law. If you are not well yourself we also have that in common.

Post what you want when you want the people on here welcomed me with open arms when I thought my problem was trivial and it was compared to what many long and short timers are going through and their loved ones.

Very tired but wanted you to know we are here for you.

I’m a fraud as not a gran. Just a late starter mum whose kids have done the same

Have spent Xmas and NY in bed hiding. Test results weren’t good after 8 months of trying to get gp to be honest
McMillan nurses won’t commit on tge phone in case they make me more anxious!
Kids now far away and no spare room as husband has full time care
We don’t get on since he spent 2 yrs in care after we moved away to be in a new house
I made so many bad mistakes. DD visits very occasionally but left to go back before Xmas to go to exes.
Nothing seems worthwhile.
Trying hard to find positives but have lost family and health. Not much else to live for.
Worst thing is that there is no one who cares anymore.

Loving night night...nice to check in and read your comments and following you all xx BD's.

Evening all, quick visit before sleep (work tomorrow).
Coolgran your meds should kick in very soon and suddenly you’ll realise that your feeling a bit better. I started mine a year ago around now. I’d resisted for years and it was a last resort for me as I was so scared of taking them. I’m glad I did and wish I’d taken the. Sooner but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Whiff happy new year, I hope it brings you improved health.
Doodle I hope your husband is feeling better. I suspect things will start to move quicker tomorrow when there’s a full of quota of staff 🤞. Take care, you must be exhausted.
HVDY glad you enjoyed your meal. It must be exciting to know that you’ve got lots of lovely milestones to face with Chubby chops. It’ll be especially nice once the weather starts to get better.
Countess Fosco Doodle is so right when she says that everyone’s problems are treated equally. I always think that mine are trivial too but I’ve never been made to feel they are. This is a kind, caring space and we are lucky to have found it. I hope you begin to feel more settled soon.
Sweetpeasue you poor thing. A virus to contend with on top of everything else. My thoughts are with you and I hope you feel better very soon.
Scaredycat glad you’ve had a good week. Rest and recouperate now. I’m sort of relieved it’s all over. Phew, I did it!
Nadaterturbe hope your energy levels improve. It’s must be difficult pacing yourself all the time.
Wyllow special thoughts and love ❤️ xx
I’ve had a busy time. My son went home today. I was a bit emotional but so, so grateful that I don’t get all those horrid feelings I used to get. It’s definitely down to the meds. I’ve packed away Christmas and it feels good. Normality and routine. Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. Love to all ❤️

Sorry I can't post individually tonight.
Head pounding. Hope to be back tomorrow.x

Nadateturbe- hope your energy levels soon pick up a bit- mine are rubbish compared to a year ago but nothing like the feelings you describe. Minimum housework is the way to go at the moment for you. I hope you have been able to enjoy this first day of the NY.
Coolgran- what a sweet start to the NY for you!! Your ADs should kick in soon - mine took a few weeks . So sad for you to be estranged from your DD- but maybe the New Year may see her feeling differently.
Whiff- I always check Wyllow out too but when I wake up. Hope the NY is kind to you.
Doodle- Happy New Year and hoping it will be easier than last.. It is ridiculous there is no one around at the weekend who can give you proper help . You should not have to fight for what DH and you need. I hope tonight is better for you- you must both be wiped out. Take care of yourself.
HVDY- never heard of Chicken Jaisalmar- sounds lovely and
exotic. We were complete lightweights and went to bed early.
We,ve had a very busy week - nice busy- but couldn’t stay
awake last evening.😩
CountessFosco- find something positive every day and reasons to be cheerful. We-re glad you’re here and maybe this New Year will bring you the contentment you miss so much.
Wyllow- hope this year will be one in which you can feel your spirits rise little by little.
Love to allxxx

Laden with virus so unable to meet fam today for dinner. As Scaredycat says its pants but is what it is. Forgive for picking out Doodle tonight , but love to all and a better New Year.
Doodle Can't tell you how sorry I am that your husband's sores are still so painful. My FIL developed bedsore in hospital. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all this on a weekend too. Do look after yourself and get rest when you can. Hoping there will be more staff on tomorrow and you can get answers. Sending love and a hug.x

CountessFosco everyone’s problems/concerns/anxieties are treated equally here. We don’t say my problem is bigger than yours because we all realise that a problem or worry is a problem or worry no matter what the scale. What some would cope with without batting an eye others could be in the depths of despair about. Your worries are just as valid as everyone else’s so please keep posting here if you feel it would help. You will be most welcome.
Sorry gang another flying visit. I can’t tell you how stressful the last couple of days have been. I feel as though I’ve been engaged in battle on all fronts. Sometimes the medical profession is too laid back.
Poor DH had an awful night and then so did I coz I was worried about him. Hope tonight will be better,
Please take care all. I’m hoping for a proper catch up soon.
Much love Doodle xx Wyllow keep in keeping on xx

Profound thanks to all those kindly GNers who have taken the trouble to respond with sound advice. There is no solution to this problem, so you are right, it's doubtless best to try and make the prevailing conditions work. There are some benefits of course. Our lovely GDs are 14 and 12 and live not far away. Previously we would only see them 1/2 times per annum.
Perhaps the New Year's resolution would be to make a list of benefits - free health system comes immediately to mind, although this is unfortunately stretched to capacity as we all know. Library free to take out books in English. But most importantly, to pull myself out of the depths and look for some positive aspects - after all, we seem to be stuck here now so looking forward not backwards would be best. It is obvious that there are many others {on here} with more severe problems than homesickness and nostalgia for a different way of life. A very happy New Year - bonne année

Coolgran65 What a nice way to be woken up! I went to bed at 11.45 and must have fallen straight to sleep.

Wyllow3 Hope you're managing to speak with your sister.

I hope ALL BDers, past and present, have a happy and healthy 2024 and that the year is good to us all x

SweetpeaSue I hope your cold and sore throat clears up quickly. Drink lots, and gargle with salt water, if you can.

EllieAnne I always feel the new year is an anticlimax after Christmas. When do your church things start up again?

Doodle It IS ridiculous that there aren't any doctors working at weekends. Good that your husband is improving. Please look after yourself.

Whiff I hope the new year will be kind to you, too.
Nadateturbe I hope you have a better day today.
ScaredyCat I had a chicken Jaisalmar, which turned out to be mild but was nice. DH had a Madras. Did you stay up to see the new year in?

Happy New Year all. Can’t stop, on my way to hospital.
Take care all x

Wyllow happy new year. Hope you will begin to feel better soon and 2024 is a kinder and healthier year for you .

Coolgran what a lovely way to see in the new year. Sorry I didn't realise or I had forgotten you are estranged from your daughter. Hope I got that right. My son estranged me May 2020.

Just had a nightly visit to the loo and always check to see if Wyllow has checked in.

Happy new year to all. Will post more later. 🥂

Happy New Year everyone. I dozed off just before midnight and DH woke me with a kiss on the nose.
I hope to be stronger when my meds kick in, I'm now at 3 weeks and hoping for a better 2024 even if my DD does not respond to my New Year's email.
Thank you all.

Night night BD's xx

HVDY sorry your brother didn't get to visit. I feel so sorry for your DiL and the other residents.
Sweetpeasue, take it easy, hope you feel a bit better soon.
Doodle so glad husband is a little better. I do think weekends should be staffed better. Illness won't pause until Monday!
Believe me I am doing minimum housework. I don't know what's wrong. I seem to have less and less energy. So I can't manage to write more.
EllieAnne sorry you're so low. I hope you manage to have a little drink.
Hello to Scaredycat and Candy Wyllow and others..
Thanks for kind words everyone
So many of us have problems at the minute. I hope the coming year is kind to everyone and that we all can find peace and contentment and some joy each day..