Black Dog 20

Night night and love, BD's.

Have been wanting for some time to post here but previous experience makes me extremely wary : e.g. have been vilified, with "what kind of a gullible idiot are you anyway" and such like. Don't want to post if answers are "put your big girl pants on", or "pull yourself together" or "join some organisations". Is there anyone out there with a kind, soft approach perhaps?

CountessFosco We on BD have all had, or have, depression and/or anxiety. People who haven't experienced those things don't understand and say "Pull yourself together", "Get a grip", etc. You won't get that here. Say whatever you feel comfortable with, whenever you like.

EllieAnne Is there anything in particular worrying you, healthwise? There isn't always a definite explanation for some things though.

CountessFosco- hello and welcome. You will find kindness and understanding here- never feel you will be judged.
EllieAnne- HVDY is right often there is no explanation for things but if you are still concerned see if you can have another word with the doctor. Hope this weekend is kind to you.
Doodle- thinking of you and hoping you find DH has had a restful night.
My DD has gone to see her daughter today and will be away til late . There is no one at home as they have all gone with her.We have to go and feed her cats at 5. First time we have had to do it- they are rescues and one was a street cat so absolutely fixated on his stomach!! I,m scared they,ll run out of the front door when we open it- they are indoor cats. I,ve had cats all my life so don’t know why I,m such a wimp!!!
Back later hopefully.xx

ScaredyCat Good luck with the cats. It's such miserable weather, the cats will probably be glad to be in anyway. My DIL's 2 cats had never been outside (one is 2, the other about 4), but now that the garden has been cat-proofed, they've been out and like it (in short bursts).

It's been a lazy (and boring) day here. Not been out - we've had rain for most of the day, and I didn't feel like mooching around shops. Friend texted me, she's had a massive row with her husband because she caught him looking at porn . I'm just having a vodka. Hope ALL BDers are ok today x

Thank you kindly for your positive and friendly responses. Problem is, we lived 44 years outside UK and returned 4 years ago, thinking it was the right thing to do to be near our family and not wanting to grow old in a foreign language. What a terrible shock! This decision has been bitterly regretted as we {I mostly} do not fit in : no-one wants to speak foreign languages, the litter is appalling. We always use the 24 hour clock - people smirk. We have a broader perspective which is not appreciated here. How we {I} long to return to France, Belgium, Switzerland where we were previously very happy. Feeling more and more depressed and cannot understand why "home" is not that at all - far from it, seems like we are aliens hereabouts. Won't go on any further. Our GP is overloaded with work, it takes 3 weeks to even have an appointment and what can she do anyway? My OH has an EU passport but says at 80 he is not willing to undertake another major upheaval. Understandable.
There is really no solution to this problem is there? But it has helped to post. Our DIL is very difficult - we had hoped she would be pleased to have us back in the UK but this is not the case. Sorry for the trouble but thank you anyone for reading.

HVDY- Cat mission accomplished!! 2 happy little cats and they didn’t try to escape- phew!
Oh dear your poor friend- bet she needed a Vodka too!!
It might have been a one off- hope so for her sake.
Have a good evening.
CountessFosco- Did you move back to a familiar area in UK - it’s a long time to be away and things have changed such a lot.
Lots of differences between Continental living and here.
It’s a pity you haven’t been able to meet any like minded people- those that ridicule what they don’t understand must make you feel very lonely. How about joining U3A - there are many interest groups and you might find some of interest to you. Do you have any family nearby?

CountessFosco I suppose a lot of things have changed here in the time you'd been away (most of it not for the better). I suppose most people living here only want to speak English, and that's understandable, I think. Have you looked for any groups you might be able to join? Perhaps one for ex-pats? There's an online one called InterNations (I typed "groups for ex-pats" in Google)

ScaredyCat Glad the cats are ok. My friend has been very upset about it, said she wants to leave him, wants to stay in a hotel, etc. It's happened before but they've been married about 36 years. She does tend to get melodramatic about things, so I just sympathise and listen.

How's everyone been? Our heating has been up and down all day - I'm really cold. DH sits there wearing clothes as though it's summer - and bare feet x

It’s cold here I’ve got my oodie on. I watched a robson green and mark benton programme this afternoon. Think it’s called Christmas lights. I’d seen it before but it was still good.
Was too cold and wet to go out.
Thinking of doodle and wyllow tonight.

I've seen that programme before, it was good. I'll have to try to go out tomorrow - all this staying indoors is driving me a bit mad. I've bee thinking of Doodle and her husband, too. And Wyllow3, as well.

Hvdy I’m the same. Watching tv and eating quality street.
I’ll be at church tomorrow morning but our forecast isn’t good. Will be so glad when my usual stuff starts up again.
It’s not easy finding places to go in this weather.

EllieAnne We scoffed the last of the chocolates earlier. I'm listening to music on my headphones, he's watching Father Brown. I think we'll probably go to a park or something tomorrow, even if it's not far. The day has dragged today. Do you tend to see familiar faces at church? I hope you find someone to chat with.

Yes hvdy I usually sit with good friends but get the chance to chat with others. It’s not a huge church though it has grown a lot.

Hello all. Sorry another quick visit. Been at the hospital all day just eaten now bed. Sorry too tired to. Write more.,DH is ok but not happy about being back in hospital. Especially a bank holiday weekend.
Take care all, iam thinking of you. Love Doodle x

Hello everyone. Sorry, I started to write a post but my energy has almost gone. Shouldn't have done housework. Honestly it's ridiculous getting tired so quickly. I've done very little since Christmas day. Bit fed up really to put it mildly.
So this is just a brief hello.
Thanks for good wishes from everyone.
I have read all the posts for this week and am glad for those who enjoyed Christmas even though its also a time when we think about loved ones that we miss so much, so there's always sadness too.
Love to those who haven't had the best week.
Doodle Glad your husband is OK. You are having a bad time. Sending hugs.
Hello to HVDY ( hope brother got to see SiL.) Scaredycat SweetpeasueEllieAnne Whiff Wyllow3 Derby. Welcome to CountessFusco.

Night night all BD's and new BD's xx

Many thanks for sympathetic responses. Son, DIL [difficult] and DGDs close by but this area new to us.
Example of why posting : next-door neighbour passed by in her car whilst I was waiting at the bus stop in cold, blustery, rainy weather. She gave a cheerful wave and drove on! Now, our neighbours on the continent would never have done that. They always stopped and asked if they could give us a lift.
Another neighbour, asked how many languages I speak [she had heard me speaking French]. When told 5, the response was "oooooooh, get her""
Am so heartsore and nostalgic for the French way of life. Feel horribly trapped. Last straw just before posting was to read that wine bottles will be pints! What a joke. But thank you anyway for looking.

Doodle Thinking of you and your husband. Hope he's getting the best treatment and that you're resting whenever you can.

EllieAnne Hope you found some people to talk to at the church.

nadateturbe It's frustrating not being able to do things at times. I think a lot of us can relate to that. I hope today has been better for you. My brother still hasn't seen his wife (since Friday of last week) and the home is still closed.

CountessFosco It sounds as though you've been very unlucky with your neighbours. The ones you've mentioned sound quite unfriendly, although perhaps that woman thought the bus would be along soon? Or she might have been going somewhere else?

SweetpeaSue, ScaredyCat, Whiff, Wyllow3, Derby, Candy6 and ALL other BDs (there are now so many of us), I hope you've all been ok today.

It's rained on and off, so we only went as far as Tesco (6 miles away), then DIL and baby called round for an hour - she bought me a lovely bouquet, and a dozen bottles of real ale for DH, for our help recently. Just going to order a takeaway for later. x

Will post properly tomorrow. Busy day and tired.

Happy new year to you all. And hope 2024 brings you health,peace and happiness for you and your loved ones. Big hugs to you all . 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

Sorry just a brief post to wish everyone a better and good New year .
Should have been at son's tonight (other son and fam have come down too) but come down with a cold virus and sore throat. Been to greet them earlier .
Doodle Hoping you and DH are coping and are being looked after in hospital.Not a great time on a holiday weekend. Thoughts are very much with you and sending love and prayers.x
CountessFosco Sorry you are not settling in here and you feel neighbour should have offered a lift. Perhaps she saw you but didn't feel safe to stop quickly without enough time to indicate to drivers behind? I do hope you manage to settle in soon.
* Wyllow* Hope you are improving and sending you love and a hug.

Sending best wishes for a good new year to all BDs and anyone reading. X
.

Very low today. Not arranged to see any of the family over the next few days and the thought of another year of this is so depressing.
I can’t remember if I told you that my blood tests were normal so I’m no further forward.
We never celebrate new year but hopefully dh will go to bed at his usual time and I can have a couple of drinks.
Doodle I hope you and dh have been ok today.
Countess there could be several reasons why your neighbour didn’t stop. Maybe she was in a hurry or going somewhere different. Try to put it out of your mind.
I hope this next year will bring all of us and our families better health both physical and mental and for those of us who believe that we will be surrounded and comforted by the presence of God.
Thank you all for being there.

Hello all. Sorry all another short visit. I’m just so tired when I get home from hospital that I don’t have the energy for much.
DH upset today as he’s just realised tomorrow is a bank holiday therefor no action in the hospital (if only they worked weekends just think how many more patients could be treated and discharged.
However, I think he had a better day. The infection is coming down so that is good news.
CountessFosco we take everyone at face value here. Everyone’s problems are different but we believe equally valid.
Not pull your socks up here or unkind remarks. We do not offer a solution. Only to listen , provide support and if we have experience of something similar then advice. But you will not be vilified or mocked here. Everyone’s problems are equally valid we have no pecking order and I’m sure my pals have made you welcome. I hope to catch up with you soon but I’m a bit tied up with a very poorly DH.
Ellie Anne it could be anti climax that’s bringing you down after Christmas. I hope the new year is a better one for you,
sweetpeasue so sorry you’re missing out on a family get together, I think you said you did manage to meet them earlier, I hope so.
whiff happy new year to you too.
nadateturbe save your energy for the fun stuff and let the housework wait. 😊
HVDY hope you had a lovely. Christmas with the little one and your other DGDs,.
Scaredycat I look forward to reading back and finding out about the little cat story. Hope you are ok and doing well.
Wyllow sorry I’ve not been around. Hope you’re ok. Much love.
CountessFosco just read your posts and you sound sad you’re back here. I can understand your old life was a better one.
I had some cousins who lived in Canada and America for over 40 years. Whenever they came back here they were always very critical. The cars weren’t big enough, we didn’t have air conditioning. The food was awful the people were loud (coming from an American that made me laugh). Fact is they could do nothing but find fault. Many people are proud or happy with their homeland and don’t like criticism. We have a lot of people here from many countries all over the world and many are glad to be here.
I can understand it’s not what you’re used to and basically you want to go back to what you really think of as home but if you’re stuck here then why not try and make the best of it. Try and give your neighbours a bit of leeway. With regard to the neighbour who didn’t stop to give you a lift, I have done the same to some of mine. If I’m not going home then I can’t give them a lift anyway. If I have a meeting or urgent appointment, I can’t stop. Don’t judge too harshly your neighbour might have had a valid reason for not stopping.
I hope life improves for you. How long have you been back (sorry you might have said but I missed it)
I do wish you well and hope the new year brings you some better friendships.
Take care all. Happy new year.

EllieAnne- hope you had a nice sociable Church morning and were able to catch up with some friends. Do you have coffee afterwards? You’re right it’s not easy getting out in this miserable weather. I think I ,ve seen that TV programme too- it was on a few years ago wasn’t it.
HVDY- my DH is like yours sits about like it’s the Summer while I have thermal vest and a woolly jumper!!
Your brother must be missing his wife and worried she’ll get poorly as well.
What a nice kind person your DiL sounds- lovely to have a visit from baby too. Enjoy your takeaway- what are you having?
Doodle- hope DH is feeling better- he must be so fed up with being in Hospital again. Hope he won’t be in too long. You must be shattered, look after yourself and make sure you keep your strength up.
Nadateturbe- thank you for your post when you are so worn out. I understand that you feel fed up - it is frustrating and makes you sad too when doing something ‘ordinary’ wipes you out. Hope you feel stronger tomorrow.
Whiff- thank you for your kind wishes.
SweetPeaSue- what a pity you couldn’t be with your family tonight. Hope you feel better tomorrow - have a hot toddie it might help your throat.
CountessFosco- how old are your GDs - do you see them often?
Glad you have your Son near you.
I,m sorry you feel as you do - it’s very hard to live in a place and wish you were elsewhere. Sounds like you need a friend - how about WI or Adult Ed or volunteering. We,re always here to listen.
Wyllow- Sending a NYE Hug and wishes for better times ahead.
Candy ,Derby, Coolgran,Nanny, Fishwife,Hymnbook,Allsorts,Bea65, and all I may have forgotten and old friends and new here’s wishing you all the best for the New Year may it bring you the health and happiness you deserve.

Evening all. Sorry for irregular posts, as you know, I’m always busy and then get so tired. I’m going to try and change all that. I’ve caught up and can see all your Christmas celebrations have been generally ok. I’m sorry for Doodle I hope your DH gets the help he needs. I know what he means though about weekend and back holidays as nothing seems to happen at these times and it all seems so pointless. I hope he’s better soon. Welcome to CountessFosco I’m sorry things have been difficult you and I hope you settle soon and feel happier. Love to Wyllow I sincerely hope your mental health improves very soon and you get the help and support you need. Sweetpeasue Hope you are pain free and it’s managed more satisfactorily in the New Year. Love to everyone else too HVDY Scaredycat Whiff Derby Nadaterturbe Ellie Anne. Happy New Year all xxxx