Vascular dementia early stages

V3ra. Are you based in England? I doubt it as the living arrangements for your father sound so good!
Along with other illnesses, it is so difficult to I’d the best care/support in England. Having experienced it with my mum, I wish everyone else coping the best of luck in 2024.

Yes it can be.
Alzheimer's UK is a wealth of support and information on all types of dementia.
They also offer telephone support
www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/symptoms-vascular-dementia#:~:text=Changes%20in%20behaviour,embarrassing%20or%20difficult%20to%20understand.

Absolutely, yes! My Mum has vascular dementia and was really angry and paranoid…she is now on a cocktail of drugs, including anti-psychotics and her behaviour has been utterly transformed. You need to get a diagnosis first, which can be difficult if the OP doesn’t comply…. it took a lot of cajoling and a wonderful GP to finally get Mum to attend the assessment. Good luck!

do please see a GP, as there are other issues that can mirror dementia but are easily treated with antibiotics. I know of at least 2 such cases but sorry, can't remember the illness/condition

My Dad (92) has vascular dementia, diagnosed about three years ago.
He'd previously cared for my Mum with Alzheimer's at home, 160 miles away from us.

When he first developed symptoms he knew something was wrong and he'd get quite angry and frustrated at this time. As he put it, "I just want to know what's going on inside my head."

An MRI scan confirmed the diagnosis, though no medication was appropriate.
He calmed down a lot once he knew and we gradually, tactfully, stepped in as and when he needed help. The trickiest thing was taking his car keys off him, but he'd been observed driving unsafely so we had to.

He had already moved to an extra-care apartment in our town after Mum died five years ago.
The care team have gradually stepped up the support he receives when they've identified a new decline.
They now manage his medication, meals, laundry, cleaning, shopping, they take him to appointments if I'm unable to.
At my request they encourage him to wear clean clothes every day. He still has a shower and shaves every day unaided.
I manage all his banking.

He goes to a great day centre four days a week where there is loads going on. The mental health nurse who carried out Dad's annual review last summer said it was important to try and get him out every day, mixing with other people.
Dad calls it "going to work"!

He's calm, he's happy, he has no worries, he's doing well so far... 🤞

farview it sounds as though you need some help and support, please don't soldier on alone.
Dad did that with Mum and it brought him to breaking point, hence the move after she died.

Oh golly thanks for all your replies
I seriously think there’s something going on and upcoming tests may bring some clarity
It’s difficult to know if it is chosen behaviour ie aggressive /narcissstic or caused by some brain impairment
All I know is it’s getting worse and impacting my peace of mind
I can overlook it sometimes but not others when verbal abuse can be shocking
Difficult to decipher and decide the best path

My H has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia..always has had a sort of narcissistic personality ...has now also developed tinnitus which he cannot cope with at all..so he is looking for someone to blame...me of course...saying that I'm putting pills in his food..thus causing the tinnitus...absolutely awful and wearing me down...

All kinds of everything Horti.

One of my neighbours has vascular dementia, she did have periods of being angry and inappropriate but now has gone back to being her sweet self although is more often living in the past.

My lovely step father had vascular dementia and he never became aggressive or insensitive Horti, it does affect everyone differently.

In my FiL the first signs were e.g. wearing grubby jumpers (very uncharacteristic), failing to shave, going repeatedly to the shop to buy the same thing, so that we’d find e.g. 8 identical packs of sausages in his fridge.
And putting things like tins of soup in the freezer.

We were completely new to it all then so took a while to realise that all these weren’t just his habitual stubbornness, but something else.

And the very first thing, which we only realised much later, was when he was all dressed up in a dinner jacket to go to his son’s very smart wedding, and just as we were leaving, said, ‘Where are we going again?’

it's v unsettling when someone whom we regard as a close friend/family suddenly slips into a ranting rage.
whatever the cause.
i think it is well attested that dementia can cause this.
also many other mental disorders.
knowing how to deal with it in the moment is tricky.
i guess if it is known to be due to some organic or progressive brain impairment, then one just has to stand back, disengage, until the hurricane passes. hopefully.
but what if it is unclear as to cause. how much is poor regulation of behaviour, i mean people just being verbally abusive, almost violent, to dominate.
is it always right to back down. or should they be held to account. after all, if might is right, if violent outbursts hold sway, we would have no recourse to law.
sorry gone off on a tangent.
have just now been faced with this, being raged at, almost threatened, yet again.
can't leave the location, not totally, as would adversely affect a third party, who is vulnerable.
in this situation the person has depression and PTSD, but no cognitive impairment.
i just don't know how to handle it.
first time, i was so shocked, now it's like a minefield, unpredictable explosions.
i said this is not acceptable, control yourself.
but saying anything at all increases the rage.
i don't know what to do.
this was is a friend, who has been v close, and mutually supportive, and i know about the PTSD, but it's like jekyll and hyde.

One of my Uncles became very aggressive with Dementia, before he became ill he was the nicest quietest man you could ever wish to meet, it was so sad and very scary for his wife and family.
some years later his wife was also diagnosed but she was very quiet and calm.

I’d speak to your G.P. they would know .