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Alcohol part2

(21 Posts)
Lilliesmum79 Sun 07-Jan-24 12:24:15

Hello everyone I posted before about my stopping drinking as I realised I was an alcoholic. I haven't been to AA meeting yet but have been in touch online with them. I've been sober since 22nd October 2023. Managed to get through Christmas and New Year OK wasn't tempted even though family was drinking around me. But past couple of days have been very difficult I'm struggling. When I told husband I was alcohol he said just have one or 2 then stop he doesn't understand I've no brakes stop doesn't work for me. But I've even been dreaming of drinking. Any advise out there why now am I feeling this?

Theexwife Sun 07-Jan-24 12:33:54

You will get the feelings of wanting to drink maybe forever, that is why it is important to have meetings to go to or a person to talk to at this time, in AA you will have a sponsor if you want one.

It is still early days for you to be able to cope alone, later you may be able to distract yourself without the support of others.Keep remembering why you are doing this.

Well done you and you have done the right thing in ‘talking’ on here.

crazyH Sun 07-Jan-24 12:41:34

Liliesmum - 4 of my brothers were functioning alcoholics. All passed away in their late 60s. They had wonderful wives, who stuck by the them till the end. How they did it, I’ll never know. You need to seek help asap. You should attend these AA meetings. Good luck !

AGAA4 Sun 07-Jan-24 13:02:46

You have done well to have avoided alcohol since October. Don't spoil your good record. Get help from AA as soon as you can. Too hard to do it on your own. Good luck.

Mizuna Sun 07-Jan-24 13:13:02

You've done so well to get this far and although you say that stop doesn't work for you, it seems you are managing to stop. I suspect you need the support of the AA group. Please go as soon as you can; you'll find it very supportive. My alcoholic brother and sister-in-law both died in their 60's but would never admit their problem. I went to the AA support group for relatives - is it Al Anon? - and found it so helpful. I wish you well in what is a forever journey.

AreWeThereYet Sun 07-Jan-24 13:23:02

I agree with others - get help from AA as soon as you can, while you are still able to recognise that you need help. Anyone who has experience of alcoholism will tell you that you never stop being an alcoholic, you just stop drinking. Few people who have not experienced it will understand. Let AA help you as much as they can and give you the support you need.

I had a close friend who was an alcoholic until his forties - he lost his family, and most of his friends, his house and nearly his job. He ended up in hospital and nearly died after an accident where he fell and split his head open while drinking. He was lucky that his boss was kind, and once he became aware of my friend's condition sent him to dry out. It took him three attempts before he finally understood he was killing himself and has now been dry for over thirty years and worked with the AA for years. He never stopped going to meetings though, at least once a week.

rosie1959 Sun 07-Jan-24 13:31:26

Hello Lilliesmum79 please ignore your husbands advice if you are alcoholic you will have no ‘breaks’ and it will start it all off again.
As others suggest get your bum on a seat in AA and no the feeling of wanting a drink will not go on forever if you do what is suggested. Many of us wouldn’t have survived if that was true.
Drinking dreams are very common but that’s all they are a dream.
Don’t prolong this agony it’s not necessary you have done well so far but you obviously need the help of those that have been where you have. AA the best thing I have ever done.

Patsy70 Sun 07-Jan-24 14:30:14

Hi Lilliesmum79. There was another thread from Jenz recently, which you had commented on. There were some very sound recommendations offered, in my opinion. I admire you for having managed to stop drinking since 22 October, and for getting through Christmas/New Year without alcohol. I also commented on that thread, and am attempting to change my drinking habits, by reducing the amount, as I consider myself to be alcohol dependent. I’ve stopped drinking the white wine, as I drank it too fast. This is a start, and I will persevere, for the sake of my health. It does help,to have support, and maybe this thread can help others with the same problem.

Parsley3 Sun 07-Jan-24 15:29:46

Well done, lilliesmum. To achieve the goal of being sober since October is something to be very proud of. You are wise not to follow your husband's suggestion as your next step will have to be getting in contact with a person from AA, either by going to a meeting or by phone. The loveliest man I have ever known was a recovering alcoholic who spent the rest of his life helping his fellow humans through the AA. Speak to someone who knows the score and that will get you to get over this temporary blip.

Shelflife Sun 07-Jan-24 15:40:27

Lilliesmum , well done indeed!!!!! Some very encouraging and sound advice from everyone here. Please do attend an AA meeting asap, your husbands advice is far from helpful! Ignore that. I send you strength and good wishes . I understand that last few days have been very difficult but I commend you on your resilience and for recognizing that you have a problem. Good luck , and please go to that meeting.

JaneJudge Sun 07-Jan-24 15:40:51

Well done for stopping. Call AA and ask if they’ve got a women's only group local to you as you may find that initially easier to to be open in

Lilliesmum79 Tue 09-Jan-24 12:30:07

Last night I went to my 1st AA meeting so many supportive people and the wee leaflets I got were really helpful too.

Theexwife Tue 09-Jan-24 12:59:55

Thats great, pleased it went well, there is a meeting on somewhere everyday if you want them, make a note of where and when incase you need one.

sandpiperessex Tue 09-Jan-24 13:01:35

I have just had my 9th sober Christmas. I accept I am always going to be an alcoholic and can't drink again. It's easier as the years tick by but you do need support. I find your husbands attitude most quaint. I think he needs advice on how to help you unless he is wanting you to validate his drinking. Keep strong, it really is worth it but you must have a support network. If AA is easy to access then try them. Good luck, you can do it.

Parsley3 Tue 09-Jan-24 16:44:40

Lilliesmum79

Last night I went to my 1st AA meeting so many supportive people and the wee leaflets I got were really helpful too.

Brilliant! Let us know how you get on.

JaneJudge Thu 11-Jan-24 16:02:02

I'm glad you managed to go flowers that is a very brave thing to do

Jenz48 Thu 11-Jan-24 17:48:14

Great news Lilliesmum79, I really admire you for getting to AA and I am sure the meetings will give you the determination to carry on. One incentive I had when I stopped smoking was to keep the moneyI would have spent on ciggies and then treated myself to something frivolous! Following on from my previous post, thanks again to all the messages and support and I am working hard to cut right back on the amount of wine I consume. After only 4 days my digestive system already feels the benefit 🙂

petra Thu 11-Jan-24 17:53:22

Well done you 👏👏👏

Kim19 Thu 11-Jan-24 18:01:16

Well done you for total abstinence since October and particularly over the Festive season. Wonderful! Please try to get yourself to the AA group asap. I believe they achieve great results via personal support. My very best wishes. Please follow up with a progress report in due course.

chickkygran Thu 11-Jan-24 18:40:02

Please check out Soberistas, it’s a safe, online site community which gives excellent support. You have nothing to lose by checking it out and it will help with these cravings.

M0nica Thu 11-Jan-24 19:26:41

Lots of good advicce. Get your DH to talk to Al-Anon. They will help him understand your problem.