Black dog 21

Wyllow so glad you went out for a while. Making decisions is always hard but hopefully they all work out for you. Always found making important decisions since my husband died easier than choosing what to eat when I go out.

Problem is I can't have anything crunchy as it gives me blood blisters in my mouth , things that take a lot off chewing are out as I can choke on my own salvia let alone food. And if I am by myself have to have my food cut up for me in the kitchen as I can't use a dinner knife and eat using a spoon and fork. If with family or friends they do it for me. Funny I have gone backwards as when the limb jerks started in 1988 my husband used to cut my food for me and glared at anyone who dared to say anything. Nowadays I can't use a dinner knife due to lack of strength and my hands tremble especially my right hand.

HVDY you are braver than me a hot air balloon ride. Going up and flying round sounds lovely it's the landing I would worry about .Hope you both feel better soon so you can go.

Someone asked about my holiday. I am travelling independently. My idea of hell would be a coach holiday or cruise. I couldn't be jammed in with so many people nor would I want to be told we are going to such and such place on set days and limited to time at places. My HPX means I can't be crammed in and to many people and noise would set of my startle reflex and I would fall like a tree.

So it's the train every time for me. I always have travel assistance and have done for over 15 years. Staying in a Premier Inn as they have assisted rooms . Ones for people in wheelchairs and ones for people like me with low beds and walk in showers. I always stayed in one before my daughter and son in law brought their first home but could manage in a normal room in those days .. The beds where high and only way I got on was using the wall to push myself on and then dangle until I got off. I am 5' 2".

Independent hotels don't always have rooms suitable for disabled people plus you are punished if you travel alone by having to pay a single room supplement. Last time I had a holiday 2005 had to pay extra £15 a night . But I had never been on holiday by myself did a lot of first those 4 days.

Going to Berwick upon Tweed Monday to Friday. We never went to the east coast . I never want to go too places I went to with my husband as those memories are precious. I booked my hotel room in November and train tickets 2 months ago and found a taxi company that will help me get in and out of the car to get to and from the hotel. I have to plan ahead. Know things I want to do but going on a boat will depend on the weather.

I can't go abroad not even to Ireland because my daughter would worry to much and couldn't get up the steps to a plane or being crammed in with others .

Doodle hope you and your husband are both recovering and soon be fighting fit. Hopefully the weather will be better soon. As it always makes things seem brighter well it does for me.

My garden is full of weeds and haven't planted my veg seeds yet and I can't risk hurting myself before my holiday. So will do it once home. I recovered from the shingles thanks to getting the anti virals quickly and also already being on tablets for nerve pain and other painkillers . The worst thing was the 6 day headache and tiredness. But found my skin is more sensitive now . But it was worse after I had jaundice . So know what to do.

Hope everyone's pain levels come down and you can do all the things you want. Take care everyone.

EllieAnne you may have said before and forgive me if it sounds rude but why do you stay with him? I'm sure God would not want you to live like this.

Scaredycat ooh a creepy hotel for your meal. Then finding out it was haunted. No winder you felt a chill. Hope the meal was good though. I’d love a coast walk, I bet it was worth the effort.
HVDY sorry about your balloon ride being cancelled again but as you’re not feeling great, probably for the best.
Ellie Anne hope you had a nice visit with your friend, is this the one with the grandson? Hope all is well there at the moment. Do you have a big garden? Trouble with weeds is they just seem to spring up more every day. Glad you have a gardener to help. Sorry I obviously don’t know the layout of your home but do you have a spare room that you could turn into a sort of rest room/hobby room for yourself where you could get some time and space for yourself or perhaps a summerhouse in the garden?
Sweetpeasue so glad you managed to get some precious time with your DGS. I bet he had fun and you will have enjoyed being with him. Sorry I’ve missed what’s happening to your DH next week is he going to see someone? No wonder you’re concerned about his headaches.
nadateturbe hope you have managed a good night and feel a bit less groggy today.
Whiff sorry with all that’s going on I’ve missed the news about your trip to Berwick upon Tweed for a few days. Will you be meeting up with anyone or do you have any visits planned. You are brave tackling all these things but you are a special person and your determination to have a life as you promised your husband shows just how much you cared for him. Hope all goes well and look forward to hearing about it.
DH slept well. Still lots of pain in legs. I was hoping op would help that but don’t know. It’s early days.

SweetpeaSue A blackbird on your coffee table! I'd have panicked. I'm terrified of things that flap. A pigeon once got in, and I ran outside, looking for someone (anyone) to help me get it out. A neighbour came round and caught it - a very active 91 year old! I did feel foolish but was grateful to her.
EllieAnne Hasn't your husband got any friends he could meet up with?

Whiff Like you, I wouldn't fancy a cruise or anywhere very busy. I don't cope well with crowds anyway. A train trip sounds ideal. I used to love going on a train, when I was younger. I hope you have a lovely time. Premier inns are so good, have everything you need. You're the sociable type of person who likes to talk to people and make friends, so it'll be enjoyable for you. I think you're brave and determined.

Doodle I really hope that your husband's operation has benefited him. I expect they next week or so will show whether it's worked well. How are you?

We've had Chubby Chops all day (she'll be going shortly). DIL asked last night if we'd have her as she wanted to do some decorating - Son2 is in Prague for a stag weekend. Son1 and his girls turned up, unexpectedly, which was very nice, so we all went to a local park, then pub for lunch, then around B&M, before coming back here for a while. Baby has been entertained a lot .

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

HVDY (Blackbird) I know!! We had a bird in before and as you say, they flap and fly at the windows. It's awful as they can hurt themselves. We try to remember to keep the backdoor shut now. It perches on the outer door handle and the window ledge , to let us know it's there and goes back n forth to it's nest with tidbits when it's summer. Hope you're feeling better and your chest isn't so bad.
Doodle It's good your DH slept well (hope you did too!). It will help him recover if he gets his rest. It is early days yet so try not to worry. I would be the same though- on the watch for improvements with his leg pain. Your DH deserves a break from it all.
Oh next week is when we go to the lakes. DH is due to have blood tests at GP surgery , Monday then we will be setting off. I'm getting jittery thinking about it.
Whiff You are one of the bravest people I know. You don't let your disability stop you from doing anything, it's quite incredible. You have such resilience , Doodle is right, you have carried out your promises to your DH and then some! I hope you enjoy your visit to Berwick upon Tweed. I was fascinated with so many beautiful swans on it's river the last time we went. I really do appreciate you doing that research for me - I'll see what comes of this next Urologist in June. Urologist is female too.
* Nadateturbe* Think we crossed posts last time. I hope you've been OK today. Its been sunny here which makes such a difference. Did you manage a decent rest last night?
Wyllow Hope your day hasn't been too bad. x
ScaredycatEllieAnne CandyNanny Hoping you're all OK.

Been a real good day today. Aunt taken out to supermarket and coffee shop (DH comes as its difficult guiding her around the aisles-he loves it really🤭) Planted 2 up 2 pot plant containers and baked 2 sponges which I'll sandwich together tomorrow with cream and raspberry jam. Not for me 😇 .... Its son's fiancé's birthday next week when we're away so am making her an early birthday cake-- plan to get some fresh raspberries to go with it then drop it off tomorrow-I won't stop. My DGS and her own little girl there together this weekend so they can all have some.
I've been lucky today only needed tablets once during the night. It's strange but not complaining.😊

Love to all x



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Can't post much today. Glad husband slept Doodle. Fantastic day Sweetpeasue and so little pain, wonderful. Another lovely family day HVDY. I'm sure you are looking forward to your holiday Whiff.
Stressed, visited Aunt who husband died last weekend. I can't do those kinds of visits. I'll be fine tomorrow. Hope everyone has a good evening.
Sorry if I've left anyone out.xx

I can’t really explain why I stay but it’s think a little of it goes back to problems in childhood. And he doesn’t treat me badly so I don’t feel justified . Also I’d be leaving a home I’ve made for a flat somewhere and have very little to live on so wouldn’t be able to help the boys out financially as they are often struggling.
We do have a spare room but his computer is in there so it wouldn’t be a sanctuary.
I do spend a lot of time in my bedroom and in the car.
I hope that explains it a bit.
Night everyone.

Thanks EllieAnne for explaining. I do feel for you, but as long as you are happy enough. Hope you had a good night. xx

Hope everyone on BD has a peaceful night xx

Love to all. So weary xxx

Wyllow I do feel for you. Your illness will be responsible for that awful weariness I think. I wonder if you are able to carry out just one or two extremely easy yoga movements ech day if it will help your mind and body. I hope you're not too much troubled with the bowel pain but could it help with that too? I know you have difficulty even doing the basics but it might help. Take care of yourself we care.
EllieAnne You have explained how you feel very well , I think. Sounds like a good list for staying. There might also be some benefits to leaving too but I'm sure you have weighed them up against the other one. It must be so difficult living as you do and such a burden to carry in your heart. I hope you can get out somewhere today , even if its in your garden. Looks cold here though some sun.
Doodle I hope you see a change in your DH today and not so much pain. You must feel so tired.

Hope everyone else has a reasonable day.
Worried about DH. He fell on the landing last night and banged his head. It was after he'd been sat downstairs and got up to go to bathroom. Takes couple of hrs to get to Lakes tomorrow but he could still perhaps have appt with a GP but he won't. He has blood tests on morning so hopefully nurse might mention it. He's so stubborn! Grrr.

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SweetpeaSue I'm so glad you had such a good day yesterday. The cake sounds delicious. I hope your husband will take things easy today and mention his fall to the nurse tomorrow. I think most men are stubborn. I hope your holiday goes well and is as relaxing as possible.

EllieAnne Living like that must be very difficult, and I hope you manage to see someone to chat with today.

Wyllow3 It's good that you keep posting. We all care. Hope you can manage to eat and drink throughout the day, and perhaps get into your garden sometimes.

Hope ALL BDers are seeing a bit of sunshine. I started sweeping the patio and emptying some planters, but have been coughing a lot, so now doing some cleaning up indoors instead. x

I hope your DH is OK after banging his head Sweetpeasue. We have to be so careful now, accidents seem to happen more easily. I hope you have a good journey, how are you getting there?
You had a good day yesterday. I love a Victoria sponge, sounds yummy. So nice of you to make the effort. I'm sure your son's GF will appreciate it.
Your little blackbird sounds so tame! And perching on the door handle. . We must try the cheese.
I'm feeling so much better. Neck still so stiff from the stress but definitely better and cheerful. At least the codeine helped me sleep!
It was difficult to avoid visiting as I know this aunt very well. Her son was there and I don't know him very well. I'm not good at chat at the best of times. Perhaps we should add the male cousins to our meetups.
Sun is shining, husband is pottering in the garden.
Best wishes for GP tomorrow and travel.x

HVDY That cough of yours sounds nasty. There seems to be quite a lot of this cough thing going around -here on BD too. Those planters are heavy things aren't they?
I rang son to see if it was OK to take cake and no answer so just went round. Bit awkward as his ex had come for DGS. Son there would be cake for him when he comes back to him tomorrow. (I hate to see GS look sad).
* Nadateturbe* Driving there ,it should be about 2hrs. DH getting dizzy spells after sitting down quite a lot now. Thinks its low BP and his BP meds need adjusting. Been difficult getting balance right because he's also on Prednisone.
Glad you're feeling a bit better . I know those sort of visits can be difficult.
The codeine does have quite a sedative affect though it's awful on the bowels.
Hope you get decent rest tonight too.

DH had bad night last night so I came in early to be with him. He has fluid in the lungs and high heart rate. They are treating with antibiotics and other meds hoping for improvement.
I’m tired and keep nodding off. Hope all are ok. I’ll be back tomorrow xx

Take it easy HVDY. It takes time to recover from things.x

EllieAnne some good advice from Sweetpeasue. I'm sure you have weighed things up but you do carry a heavy burden. I hope you are having some enjoyment today and maybe get to meet some friends at church. xx

Good afternoon all.
SweetPeaSue- how good for you to be able to spend some fun time with your DGS. You had a busy day yesterday too - can your Aunt walk or does she have a mobility vehicle? She must love those outings. Raspberries will be perfect with your lovely cake- they will all enjoy it.
It must be so nice to have your blackbird friend- I love to be near birds but my sister has a real phobia about feathers and can’t touch them. It’s always unnerving to have one get indoors though cos they panic such a lot don’t they. I once had a bat come into the kitchen when my children were little!!
Perhaps your DH had a drop in BP after climbing the stairs- my DH often feels a bit woozy after doing that .
Enjoy your drive to the Lakes and have a lovely peaceful break.
Whiff- I hope you too have a lovely time away. The Premier Inn sounds perfect for you- you have certainly got everything organised very well.
I believe the East Coast has beautiful beaches and many interesting castles. Lindisfarne is quite near to Berwick I think.
Will look forward to hearing all about it.
Your DH would be so proud of you and your fighting spirit.
Doodle- it’s good that your DH is getting some better sleep. You must be very anxious to learn if the Op has been beneficial for him. Hope you are seeing after yourself too and managing to get some rest. How is your shoulder now.
Nadateturbe- glad you feel better today. Those kind of visits are always stressful aren’t they- but they mean such a lot to those who are visited.
Glad the sun is shining on you today- nice for your DH in the garden.
My DS FaceTimed me this morning and it started snowing where he lives!
EllieAnne- I can understand the reasons you give for staying
Although you pay a high price in stress and worry.
Would it be possible for yourDH to have his computer in his bedroom and then you could have the spare room as a little sitting room. It’s such a shame you can’t discuss it together.
Hope you have something nice to do today- take care.
HVDY- glad you felt well enough to enjoy your day with Chubby Chops.She will grow up,to be such a sociable and adaptable little girl.
It’s soo cold here so no gardening for us today. Went and had coffee with DD and DGD - much cosier. Don’t do too much work you have been so poorly this week.
Wyllow- I expect having to face decisions that haven’t been easy have been very tiring for you. I hope you feel a bit stronger today. We all care so much for you and want very much for things to improve in your life. Always lovely to see you have posted.
Doodle- I,m so sorry to just read DH was not so good last night.
You must be exhausted. Hope the meds etc will help bring about an Improvement soon. Rest if you can. Take carexx
Sending best wishes to
Candy,Nanny,Notoveryet,muffinthemoo, and all BDs ,those mentioned and those I might have left out xx

Doodle I'm sorry to hear your DH is so poorly. Its a terrible time for you too. You must be exhausted. Nodding off even for a few minutes will help. I am praying for you both. xx

Scaredycat what a lovely kind and helpful post to everyone. I wish I could post more.
Coffee with family is always nice. We should always make time for it.
You must have panicked when the bat flew in. How on earth did you get it out. Were the children not screaming?
Its odd to think it's cold for some people when it's warm and sunny where I am. I am in short cotton trousers. And snow for your son, goodness!

Sweetpeasue I hope DH gets his BP sorted, it takes time to try different combinations. It's hard coping with the effect of low BP.
Two hours isnt too long, with a little break. . And the scenery is lovely in the Lake District, the change will do you both good.

Doodle Have just seen your post about your DH having a bad night. I'm so sorry to hear that and of course you'll be worried. I hope the antibiotics work soon and he improves quickly. You will be exhausted with the worry throughout the night and not having any sleep. Try and sleep when you get the chance yourself. I too am praying for you both .
Sending you love and a gentle hug.
* Scaredycat* My aunt doesn't need a mobility scooter but she seems to stop when people come towards her , as if she's not sure which way to go, so I hold her arm while DH pushes the trolley. Tbh I don't think she'd be safe on a mobility scooter! Nice for you to get out with your DD and DGD - I miss 'female chat' (hope that's not sexist) . Oh , having a bat inside the house-thats so scary. How on earth did that happen?
My DH gets dizzy spells standing up after driving too I think it must be his BP though he still gets headaches so perhaps it's the BP meds.
Still cold here too.

Doodle Neither of you will be getting much sleep. I hope the antibiotics soon work, and that your husband starts picking up quickly. Please take care of yourself. x

nadateturbe Thank you. It's been fairly warm here, too. Nice to get into the garden for a while. The forecast here is for very cold weather tonight (same as last night). Glad you're feeling better today.

SweetpeaSue It must be very difficult to know what to do for the best, with your husband's headaches and dizziness. The steroids cause hypertension, the BP pills make it too low. Hope the nurse might perhaps be able to suggest something tomorrow.

ScaredyCat Thank you. Fancy having snow where your son is! The weather here is very changeable. The bat in the kitchen would have frightened me. My phobia of things that flap stem from a bat fluttering, when I was a child. Horrible, leathery wings.

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening. x

Hi - Full bat story!!
It flew in through the kitchen window and all but me legged it out the door. I remembered the old tale about bats getting into your hair so put a tea towel on my head!! We had a fitted table in the kitchen and the bat flew under it and hung upside down making himself at home. So I opened the kitchen door as it was close to this table. Then I threw caution to the wind and took the tea towel off my head and swiped at the bat(gently) he took offence and flew out the kitchen door. You couldn’t make it up could you! The children thought it was funny😀

Completely astonished Scaredycat
I've never heard of one coming inside the house.
I can't get the pic of you with a tea towel on your head out of my mind now 🤣 .
Glad the children thought it funny though- what a great story! Bet you've told your DGC and GGC many a time.
I used to see some circling our block of semi's at night though haven't seen them for a while.
So creepy but to see one hanging under your table so close!! Yikes!

HVDY Hope you have a good night without the coughing.
DHs appt with nurse was for pre-arranged blood tests so not sure if she can do anything really but he will definitely be going to Dr's when we come back.

Wishing all a peaceful night. x

Whiff Premier Inns are great places to stay, that's where I usually choose if possible, and I hope you have a really lovely time. I'm sure you are looking forward to it. x