Black dog 21

*Whiff you are kind to think about us. The problem with DHs foot is his heel which can’t touch anything. He can prop it up on pillows but cannot have his leg level (horizontal ) with his body due to lack of circulation so cannot lie on a bed as his foot needs to be near the floor. We have lots of OT gadgets air pillows and mattresses etc. Really lovely of you to try and think of ways to help. We are hoping his op when he gets it will help.
nadateturbe thank you for your thoughts and prayers too.
DHs appointment at hospital tonight 6pm has been cancelled so we have a free afternoon after his dressing change. Sunny here today which is good. Have a good day all.

Doodle my mother in law had a bed arch it kept the sheet and duvet from touching her feet. Wonder if one would help your husband. Also a pressure cushions of different heights under his legs but not touching his feet . Have you talked to the occupational therapy department as they could supply these things free. And they may have other things that could help your husband.

Trying to think of all the things that may help him. I know how hard it is worrying about your husband when ill yourself .

Sssd I saw your reply on the other thread thank you. I am all over GN threads but I only talk about things I have personally experienced and try and help if I can because I have had so much help from GN members.

Here is a safe place to write as much or as little as you want . No nasty posters here. It's funny how much you care about people just from what they say. Think it's because here and other safe threads people understand and not judgemental . But offer support, advice and most importantly friendship. And you do.worry if someone goes missing . Always glad Wyllow says goodnight . So if that's all you can manage do that so we know you are still there.

This thread is a beacon of light so much suffering physically and mentally but also lot of humour and insight into your daily lives . From grandchildren to foxes and pets and everything else. That's why people come here or just read . It shows how strong people are no matter what life throws at you. Long my this thread continue.

love and night night all. xx

Sssd its OK - I cant "speak out" atm but feel welcome here.

Nadateturbe Thankyou so much. Hoping you feel stronger soon. Please don't worry.

Sweetpeasue and Scaredycat I did read your posts yesterday but ran out of energy. Had to go out and buy new jumpers today which used up today's energy. Just a short shop, ridiculous.
Sssd sorry you are so anxious that you can't even talk about it. You will find nothing but kindness here.
Doodle I thought about you while I was driving and played your prayer song and prayed for you and your husband and Sweetpeasue as well.
In bed shattered. Goodnight everyone, hope you have a peaceful night.xx

Sorry Sweetpeasue I misread your post and thought you were out with your son’s dog. I missed the past tense. They must miss him/her.
DH does have a lot to put up with but at least he knows what’s wrong. Unlike you having this constant pain and no one acknowledging exactly what it is. Also he doesn’t have the unpredictability that you have. Such a shame you can’t plan trips out or visits without the worry of bowel or bladder problems. Glad you did get out for a bit though.
We have been out today (DH in wheelchair ) in the sunshine. So nice to have some fresh air.
Your DH must be very clever to make something like that.
Can’t you talk to your sister about your situation?
Scaredycat hope you’ve had a good day. Have you caugh up with your family yet?

Thank you @Doodle

Ellie Anne this is one thread where you can say how you feel, none of us think you sound petty. We know you and how hard you struggle. All of us care about how little joy you get from life and wish we could help more. You listen to our troubles too. We all share together and you’re one of us. Please don’t “stay out of the way”. We are all here to help and support each other.
HVDY yes dressings twice a week. It is getting a little better but it’s a slow process.
Both my sons cook too. Didn’t get it from me as I’m hopeless.,
Love the sound of that curry 😋
Can’t believe your little one is trying to get to her feet already,

HVDY I think your DGD is same age as mine. Mine also dresses the same. It's like a uniform for them all isn't it but I guess it really makes them feel part of the crowd and sort of 'accepted' as such, which is so important to them at that age. They care about nails, eyelashes, hair at such a young age .I find it a little sad but expect that's because we lived in 'the olden days'😂 . Sounds good idea for your DH to visit nephew - it might help them both to have a general chat about work stuff.
Really cold here this morning and thick fog most of day.
Whiff Lovely to get a card off your little GS. Hope your DDs cold gets better for their holiday to Nice.
Doodle I used to take son's dog with us at times we looked after him but he died a few weeks after my 2020 op. I went with son to vets that day. I loved that dog, he was beautiful.
You are kind Doodle but your DH's suffering sounds far worse than mine. I can imagine he must feel sleepy a lot with the painkillers -it's a difficult one. I hadn't realised he had to stay in recliner all night. His feet/ankles must be sore indeed. I feel angry and so sad about it for you. I hope you've been OK today yourself and the AF hasn't been troublesome and has settled. Been v cold here yet sun has just come out. Hope it gets warmer soon then you might get out together.
EllieAnne I sense a lot of frustration in your post. I don't know how to help at all. I think a trip to see your DD might be a good thing just now to get away. I know it's such a long drive- that's the only thing- but it might help you and your DD to have some time together. I wonder if you could tell her how you feel? Only you will know that.
*Nadateturbe Scaredycat*Candy**Nanny Hope you're OK.

Woke up with usual bladder pain and took tablets. Getting reg thing now. Reduced to uncomfortable ache so we drove to Costa in nearest town. Felt nausea and we nearly turned back. Got called from sister wanting to visit. Felt awful putting her off . Had a coffee and got a few things then as soon as got home bowels went daft. Thank goodness sister and partner didn't come! So embarrassing. This is what can't be explained to fam-- unpredictability. Anyway we managed to get out and my DH needs that too. I hate feeling a nuisance.
He's making a carousel with bits n pieces so he can prove to himself that he can make it turn with the horses going up n down alternately.
Take care everyone and wishing you all a better day tomorrow no matter how it's been today. X

Doodle Your husband's leg/feet problems sound very bothersome. Are they getting any better at all? Is he still having dressings changed? Both my sons enjoy cooking. We had lunch at Son2's today (beef Madras and a chicken and apricot curry as well), so saw Chubby Chops. She's just started pulling herself up to the furniture (9 months).

Whiff Nice that you got an Easter gift and card from the children.

EllieAnne Your daughter didn't say no (and surely she would have, if she didn't want you to go) so why don't you go and see her? It might do you good to get away for a little while.

How's everyone been today? DH and I had lunch at Son2's, which was lovely. I took their Easter gifts, and a trifle. Chubby Chops played happily. Stayed about 4 hours. The sun shone all afternoon, which was nice x

Sorry everyone. I know I sound really petty. I tried to find out how to delete post but I couldn’t. Think it’s best if I stay out of the way for a while.

Sssd no need to explain anything here or anywhere else. We all have private worries and you obviously have something on your mind. I hope the issue, whatever it is , resolves itself and you can relax a bit.

Whiff that’s really kind of you but DHs problem is that he cannot lay with his legs level with his body not can his foot touch anything, only by sitting partially reclined in his chair with his foot hanging over the edge can he sleep. He has exactly the same problem with the adjustable hospital beds his foot cannot make contact with any surface, . It’s due to problems with circulation and pain associated with lack of blood flow to the leg.
Pleased to hear you had a visit from your grandsons with a card. Ours always used to do cards for us too with chicks and eggs on.
Hope your dd and family are well enough for their holiday and enjoy it.
nadateturbe thank you for the hug, Perhaps we could chat to each other at 2am . We are often awake then too or at 3. I usually make DH a coffee.
Ellie Anne it seems that anything your DH does frustrâtes and annoys you. Living together under such circumstances cannot be good for either of you. Perhaps a visit to your DD would be a good thing. With her MH problems maybe she just isn’t interested in things either. I’m sure a visit from you would be good though. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make life better for you.

@Whiff, ive just realised i replied to you on another thread. Small world!

Thank you @Doddle and @Whiff. There's something im worrying about but i cant talk about it just now. Im sorry. Im too wound up.

So dh has just got up from one chair and moved to another. When I asked what was the point he said so he can see when the bins get emptied. They actually got emptied a while ago. So now the hat shoes and jacket have to go on to bring them in. Some days I could scream.
Was driving to the supermarket this morning and could feel the tears coming but I never cry properly now.
Messaged dd to say could I come on Friday. She says if you like. Don’t know if that means she wants me or not.
I’ve had enough of everyone.

Doodle my sister in law's dad has COPD and after 5 weeks of antibiotics for a chest infection couldn't sleep in his bed so slept in the recliner chair. When my sister in law went to buy a new wheelchair her dad took her and tried out the adjustable beds brought one and never slept so well for years. Helps keeps his chest clear as the head is raised but using the buttons plus it helps him get in out of bed as it's fully adjustable. If your husband his interested I will get details of what he had. It's single but there where double beds where both sides where adjustable to suit each others needs would mean separate sheets and duvets but might be the answer for both of you. I would check with occupational health incase there is a grant you could get towards the cost .

I am fine thank you . My daughter and grandsons came yesterday afternoon and the youngest made me a card and his brother wrote in it and gave me a Lindt bunny. I don't give the chocolate at Christmas or Easter and Easter is always books. Bottle of wine for my daughter and son in law.

My daughter still isn't fully recovered from her last cold but hopefully better for Saturday her husband has got a cold as well. They are going Nice for a holiday. Should be warmer than here.

Take care of yourselves everyone.

Sssd you will get support, understanding and advice from this caring group of people . So stick with it and post how you feel you aren't alone . 💐

Night night xx

Doodle giving you a huge hug.
Sorry, there are some people I haven't talked to today. I am really too tired to write any more. I do apologise. Hope everyone sleeps well. I have no trouble getting to sleep, just can't stay asleep. Which is why I was awake at 2am.

Sending love to everyone. Wishing you all a peaceful night.x

Sweetpeasue I’m not surprised you feel grumpy and fed up. Constant pain and never knowing how you’re going to be from one minute to the next would make anyone frustrated, angry and upset. I wish something could be done for you I really do.
Nice post to Sssd
HVDY yes dark chocolate is my favorite. I do like green and blacks but also Waitrose dark chocolate is good too.
My dad was quiet as well. Used to spend a lot of time working in the garden which he loved.
I wonder if you’ve still got some kind of chill feeling so cold like that. Your son’s spagbol sounds good. Does he enjoy cooking?
Your DgD was obviously pleased with her purchases. 😊
Sssd do you feel you have genuine reason for your anxiety over heath issues? At the moment I am anxious but I am waiting on test results. How about you, is there something specific your are concerned about?
Wyllow sleep well. x

nadateturbe sounds like you had nice weather today. We were hoping for Sun but it was overcast and chilly.
We would love a break somewhere but unfortunately DH hasn’t been able to sleep in a bed since last October. He sleeps in his recliner chair so we can’t really stay anywhere. Also he is on constant painkillers and can’t walk more than a few steps with a walking frame. We can’t complain. We have had some wonderful holidays in the past just can’t do anything now.
Yes visit from DS1 and family was lovely. We also saw DS2 and DGS during the week and enjoyed a catch up with them too.
Have you got a hammock or lounger in your garden? I always used to love laying out in gentle sun.
SSSd I’ve never been anxious about my health till recently. Probably because I’ve always been quite healthy. Now I have a few problems that are causing me concern.
Are you worried about anything in particular?
Sweetpeasue yes I gave up chocolate for lent. Didn’t eat it until today. Now I’ve eaten too much and feel sick 😮 🤣
Yes we couldn’t manage without the electric wheelchair. We did have an ordinary one we borrowed from friends but it caused me a lot of pain pushing DH from room to room. So much better for him to have some independence to get around in his own.
Glad you managed to get out even though it was cold. Nice to be able to take your son’s dog with you. I used to love going out with ours.
Like you, DH is sleepy a lot of the time because he’s always taking pain killers. Takes the energy out of the day doesn’t it.

Thank you both for answering me. Unfortunately I've been to the gp, tried various medications and cbt and counselling. Not got to the bottom of it yet. But i am hopeful, i feel something has to "click" but it hasn't yet.

Doodle My own dad was the same - hardly spoke much, so my mum used to compensate by talking even more (I do that), and DH's dad was similar. DH can talk with his mates about cars, tools, motorbikes, people they all went to school with! An electric wheelchair is better and handy for when the weather's decent enough to go out. It's been cold all day here. I like dark chocolate (Green & Black's), do you?

nadateturbe You were up late, to be starting a post at 2am. I didn't get to sleep until 3am (new time) as I was so cold - I had to wear bed socks and a cardigan on top of my pyjamas in bed. I looked like Nora Batty! Son1 made spag bol last night, he puts chorizo, red wine and carrot in it. Our back garden is south-facing, too. It gets warm on the patio and in the kitchen, but cold in the lounge.

EllieAnne How was your day? I hope you managed to see someone to chat with.

Whiff How have you been today?

Ssss Hello. My DIL has terrible health anxiety - every time she or the children get a twinge, ache or stomach upset, she thinks it's the start of something serious. She was under a Psychiatrist at the hospital or the whole of her pregnancy (baby is 9 months), but is getting better now as my son and I reassure her a lot. It might be an idea for you to start by seeing your GP about your anxiety.

Sweetpeasue Not a bad day, thanks. GD tried on and showed me all the 4 outfits she'd got from Primark yesterday, with the money I gave her a month ago. Like most teenagers, she likes these over-sized sweatshirts and t-shirts, worn with leggings or joggers. She does like doing her hair and trying different styles, though. Hope your pain subsides. Nice that you managed to get out today. It's been cold here, too.

Wyllow3 I hope you're still in touch with your Quakers friends and your sister.

I rang my brother, he had lunch with his wife, at the home, but he's very concerned about his son. It must be difficult to see family members deteriorating with incurable conditions and not be able to do anything to help. I'll try to go and see SIL this week, and I suggested to DH that he visit my nephew (they used to be good friends and workmates). Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Sssd Hello. I think we all have certain health issues here and we can be worried about them . If your anxiety is keeping you awake at night and taking up a lot of your time it may be worth seeing your GP and mentioning it. Don't be fobbed off as it must be terrible to have and if your GP isn't helpful I would go to another. I'm so sorry you are going through this as it must rob you of much enjoyment in life. I really hope you can get some help . There may be others here who can come in with some advice.
You are welcome.

Although it was good to get out today I wish my painful bladder would do one!
Walking with an elephant on a full bladder spoils it. Sorry but fed up with it. Just deleted a grumpy post and put this here. 🫣