Black dog 21

Whiff Thankyou and a Happy Easter to you too.
HVDY You have done your very best to include your brother in family occasions and invites to dinners. It is a shame but as you say you can't do more and it's all in his hands now. Hope you've had a good day. Like Doodle it tends to be .myself who plays games with GS and DH might show interest now and again. My GS likes football though DH isn't bothered about that at all. I wish my GD lived closer. It must be lovely to do 'girly'things and chat.
Nadateturbe Ooh you have a South facing garden lovely. We are lucky in we get sun in ours most of day until it gets to about 3ish. Mind shady spot is welcome when too hot. Oh you started to post early! No wonder you fell asleep. Such nice posts to everyone. My AS's haven't got Easter Eggs most years but if they're around I've sometimes got one between them and wife/GF. Hope you've had a decent day. Well done the weeding!
EllieAnne Hope you've been OK today. I must say I miss my own glass of wine terribly . I stopped when I thought I'd tongue cancer and thought I'd see if it made any difference to bladder. Been 5 weeks now and no difference at all. I can feel myself relenting. I'm sure it helps to sleep ,even though it's not meant to.
Doodle Woke with pain so reluctantly took painkillers ( hate feeling sleepy at the beginning of day) and laid with hot water bottle again. We managed to get out at 2 this afternoon so beachwalk and absolutely bitterly cold. Wind on face felt like broken glass!🥶 We found a spot on a concrete slab more inland(we always stopped there with son's Lab) and watched waves for a while. You did right to stay in today if it was so cold where you are. Glad you've electric wheelchair- that's brilliant - the warmer weather will make it much easier for you both to get out . I didn't feel like it but it can help sometimes. Ooh-love chocolate. Did you give it up for Lent? It must have tasted like nectar!
ScaredycatCandy**Nanny Hope you're all OK and your day hasn't been too bad.
Wyllow I'm so sorry your still very poorly. I hope you have enough people looking after you and have help numbers you can call. I can't think how lonely you must feel if not. You have been through so much with the abusive relationship and the breakup. I can't imagine how hard it is. I wish there was something we could say or do. I wonder if you are able to draw or paint, just for your own sake. I hope you can still listen to your music sometimes. I miss your posts but it feels good to see your words at the end of the day. Love and and a hug coming your way-- hope they break through the darkness. Xx

Can i ask if anyone here has conquered health anxiety?

I have it really bad.

EllieAnne I hope your day is OK. Did you get to church I wonder, or out for a walk?
Sometimes stress can cause memory problems. It might be that.
I wouldn't worry too much about having a drink. You would know if it had become a problem. I would drink more wine if I could, my body can't tolerate more than a small glass.
Enjoy the things that are giving you pleasure. Television is a lifesaver at times. Don't make yourself feel guilty for no reason. We all need some enjoyment in life.
I go out mostly alone. I think in general women are more sociable than men.

Good afternoon everyone. I hope you are enjoying your Easter day.

I started this post at 2am ! Fell asleep at 3am. Did more after breakfast and still haven't mentioned everyone. Did a little housework and am lying on the bed after 15 mins weeding. I couldn't resist it, it's hot and sunny in our south facing garden.

I think Easter Day is maybe a bigger family day in England than it is here. I noticed some of you talking about buying eggs and presents for family. I don’t know anyone who buys eggs for adults here in NI, (of course that doesn’t mean no one does). It’s mostly a church thing, apparently many more go to church today, than the rest of the year.

Doodle I hope you enjoyed that very long service. I’m looking forward to Songs of Praise from Canterbury (which I've now watched) and an evening service online which I listen to every week, they are having an Easter baptism service. It must be really difficult for you to keep being positive at the minute, you and your husband have so many health problems to cope with, and yet it’s so important to have hope and try to be content. As Sweetpeasuesays, easier said than done. . I’m sorry it’s so difficult for you, and you are very tired too, no wonder. I do hope you manage to get out for a walk soon. Would it be possible to have a short break away somewhere not too far when the weather is a bit brighter? It would be something to look forward to, even a couple of days. Somewhere where you could have walks.

It was lovely to have a visit from your son. I hope you both enjoyed it and it lifted your spirits.

Whiff It's very very sad for you that your son has behaved this way, and withnoexplanation. And your DiLs cruel remarks too. It must be difficult to live with. It’s good you can be positive and get on with your life, and be grateful for the good things. But it must take some strength to do that.

Your photo of the decorated postbox is so cheerful. Lovely thing for people to do. Thanks for sharing.

I understand what you are saying about people ending their lives. It’s hard to watch people suffering who are terminally ill. A very difficult topic.

HVDY aren’t men funny about spending. My husband has funny ideas too. And he’s not mean. Just ingrained habits I think, because we have more than enough money. I just ignore him . I too have to organise things.

Your nephew is suffering very badly, bless him. It’s a good sign that he’s fed up, in a way, that he’s bored. I hope he can occupy himself at home.

Your brothers behavior is strange but I agree, no point in keeping on trying. I think family are important but You've done your best.

Hope you enjoyed lunch yesterday.

Back later.

HVDY DHs wheelchair is electric so I don’t have to push it thank goodness. I don’t think your DH is that much different from a lot of men with regard to chatting with young grandchildren. If we were looking after ours I would spend most of the time with them while DH might be persuaded to join in a game or two.
Happy Easter to you too Whiff
Wyllow Im glad you still enjoy your visits here. We would miss you if you didn’t pop in.
Sweetpeasue we were planning a trip out today but it looks so bleak and cold we’re not going to bother. Don’t want to take the chance of DH catching a chill. Shame as we’d both have enjoyed being out a bit. Have you been out at all?
I have indulged in some chocolate today. I have missed it but my waistline hasn’t 🤣

Doodle My husband is lovely, very kind and long-suffering with me, but so boring. GD and I chatted the whole evening (after we'd had dinner that Son1 cooked), even through the film we'd chosen (Dr Doolittle, seen it before). DH didn't get involved whatsoever, he looked at Facebook and various clips of things on it, the entire evening. He is good with Chubby Chops. Perhaps he finds it hard to talk to girls. Pushing a wheelchair is hard work, especially on pavements. Would (or could) your family help out occasionally?

SweetpeaSue My brother is odd. He is lonely, but that's all his own making. He won't change now, and it's a shame he's like he is, as he's missed out on being part of a family. His loss. When will your son be home again? I bet you look forward to seeing him.

nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Whiff, ScaredyCat, Wyllow, Candy6, Nanny2507, and ALL BDers - hope the sun shines later. It's very foggy here (and it was really cold last night) x
*

Happy Easter everyone. Hope the weather gets better and raises everyone's spirits.🐇🐣🤗

Very very rough, Doodle, but I like to come in and read and say night night to all. When things are really bad I close up xx

HVDY You sound such an outgoing and caring person who likes to do things and it must be hard at times trying to get your DH out and about. It's good that he likes to be out at family occasions though and once he's out I expect he really quite enjoys it. I realise I was wrong in my first post thinking it was finishing work, sorry. I do think it can make some men more inhibited though when they don't mix with others so much. I hope you've had a good night.
Doodle I wondered if the path by the river mightnt be good for the wheelchair. It has been really chilly lately and I can see how much of a struggle that must be to get out now. Hopefully the weather should get warmer soon. I think you have been through so much and still have things to face that you are amazing Doodle. No one ever knows what's ahead and speaking for myself, I know it's best not to look back. Wishing you a good night's rest.
EllieAnne Hope the Easter service tomorrow is helpful and you see some friends.

Ellie Anne this must be a long weekend for you. Hope the weather is nice enough for you to get out maybe for a beach walk.
Do you have to wait for him to go to bed or can you just go to your room when you feel like it?
Hope you get there soon and can relax with a drink and something good to watch. x

Doodle I can’t understand it either. He’s an intelligent man. I knew I go out and get involved in things to escape but I would probably be doing them anyway though it would be nice to have some time in the house on my own to catch up with stuff. .
Made a start on the garden today though it’s still quite cold.
I’ve only been to one Easter service but will go tomorrow. Tonight is going very slowly and I wish it was time for bed - my safe place.

HVDY I thought maybe your DH had become more reclusive since he became ill but if you say he’s always been like that then obviously not. Like nadateturbe you always seem so active to me. Seems a shame you can’t get him to go out places with you.
Does he enjoy having your grandchildren round though? He seems to be good with chubby chops.
Your brothers attitude seems strange not to want to get involved with any of the family. Must make it hard for him now he’s on his own.
Hope you enjoy your meal and the film. I’m sure your DGD will be pleased with the gifts.
Sweetpeasue the AF was only diagnosed recently after I had the pacemaker fitted.
The 3 hour service was for Good Friday and included music and prayers. I must confess I nodded off a couple of times, 😮
Glad your son isn’t away for too long. I expect he works quite hard for those two weeks and long hours, so pleased you managed a trip out to the beach. I’m sure it did you good,
I think DH and I are spending too much time indoors and not making the effort to go out because it involves a lot of preparation. Once it warms up a bit we will have to get out more. It takes ages to sort out the wheelchair. The pavements around here are awful so it’s difficult to go out without going somewhere flatter in the car,
nadateturbe it seems there are a lot of men who will happily occupy themselves indoors. My DH would happily spend ages working on the computer or reading the paper or articles he’s interested in but he did always enjoy going for a walk. We miss that.
Hope you had your rest and feel better.
Ellie Anne can’t understand why your DH isn’t bored. I’ve been very lazy in the last few weeks and not doing much at all but I’m getting bored now there’s only so much reading and playing games I can do. Have you been to any of the Easter services?
Scaredycat when I had my pacemaker fitted it was because of heart block. They said after I had heart failure but that the pacemaker would control things. Then when they said one of the leads needed replacing that was when they suddenly decided I had AF and yes, they put me on Edoxaban which I’ve been on ever since.
Hope you nearly finished the washing now and have recovered from your homeward flight, Hope it doesn’t put you off going again.
I’m finding it hard to get motivated to do things too. I feel very lethargic.
Wyllow hope your okxx

Took aunt out this morning for shopping and coffee. Her daughter is picking her up tomorrow and taking her back for dinner. Did some ironing then bladder pain so painkillers hot water bottle and went to bed feeling sorry for myself. Lovely sunny afternoon too -bit wasted. DH doing model on table.

HVDY Wonder if your DH is finding it hard to settle into some sort of routine after finishing work. Took my DH a while to get used to it. At first I came home from book group to find all tins, pots ect re-arranged in kitchen cupboards - so I could 'find stuff better'! Couldn't find a tin of beans! Hope you have a nice night with GD1 - you have such a nice relationship - wish mine lived closer.
EllieAnne Hope the weather is nice where you are this weekend and you can go for a walk or get into the garden. Our grass is growing fast so might help DH do that - I usually hold the cable up!
* Nadateturbe* I can relate to those awful days when you just feel like crying and the feeling can be there without reason. I know I can feel lonely but I don't socialise enough. Then I think of people on their own and that makes me feel guilty I should feel like that. I think young families don't get time to feel lonely much but our lives are quieter as we get older. Mind, I'd be exhausted bringing up a family now!
Scaredycat Been a brilliant day for drying the washing. (Just had to check back you weren't using a tumble dryer then). Yes, difficult to pre-arrange - so much has had to be changed- had to call aunt this morning to give the go ahead but hate letting people down. Told her last night I'd call her to make sure this morning.
Doodle How are you both today? It would be nice if you could manage a small walk to a bench by your river but not sure how easy it is in the wheelchair on the path. You don't want to strain yourself right now either, after the procedure, sorry, I'm not sure how able you are right now.
Whiff I forgot to say thankyou for the amazing knitting photos you posted. I know they bring a smile to people's faces and people are usually fascinated by them- it's such a good idea. There are knitters that tie things to the railings of the pier in our nearby town.
* Candy*Nanny Hope you're OK.
Wyllow I hope you're eating something good and nourishing. It will help mentally too. Take care of yourself and know that we all think of you and miss you.x

Goodnight everyone. X

Back later, need a rest.

nadateturbe No, he's always been like it, but it didn't matter when I was working/had a social life with friends/did Zumba. -He says he "hates" going out. When we do go anywhere (family things), he cannot wait to get home. He watches old episodes of Poirot and is now looking at Midsomer Murders. I haven't heard of Hope Stree. I'll Google it. What did you have for lunch?

EllieAnne It's weird to be with someone yet still feel lonely, isn't it? He knows how I feel but still doesn't want to bother - he won't even do anything in the garden with me.

ScaredyCat I love seeing washing on the line, and it smells so nice. I hate the ironing, though. I've got a couple of lipglosses and a mascara for GD1, she'll like that. Have you come back with a suntan?

Off to Son1's now, for dinner (no idea what it's going to be. Back tomorrow, all x

Candy a farewell 'do' with those who you were closest to sounds good, and it will be nice to keep in touch. That's what I did.
A road trip is a great idea. My advice would be to do it as soon as possible after DH retires. Or you may not do it.
I hope you're enjoying retirement so far.

Sweetpeasue sorry for making you repeat everything about DH tests.
Yes, I read about test for TA. It doesn't sound pleasant but maybe should be done.
I see you had your ADs increased. I hope it helps. I agree it's difficult to stay positive and easy to lose faith at times. But God understands. I woke one morning this week at 5am with an awful sad feeling and just wanted to cry. No logic behind it.
I think getting out in nature especially when the sun shines, as you did on Friday is good.
I hope you and DH are OK today.

Hi all.
Doodle- I didn’t realise you have AF too. I think AF has many faces and one is called Atrial flutter but I don’t know enough to be of any help. Do you take blood thinners ?
I,m glad you saw your Son and his family - it has been a long time. Hope you enjoy your Easter Sunday.
SweetPeaSue- it must be difficult not being able to make firm arrangements- glad you got to the beach they must have been lovely waves. The sea has such a calming effect doesn’t it even if it’s wild and woolly!! Hope you get to see Auntie.
Forgot to say- it’ll take somewhere special to get me on a plane in the near future😩
HVDY- my DH is quite good at going out but I always have to organise it- except Golf of course!! It’s been a Washing fest since we got home- first time this year hanging it out. I,m such a saddo I get excited being able to do it again.
Have a lovely evening with GD1 - as you say family is the most important thing and those times together she will always remember.
Nadateturbe- glad you got out for Lunch. I haven’t heard of Hope Street - I,ll have to Google it.
I like to chat with my sister - it would be lovely to be near her.
My niece has just had an ICD fitted - it’s like a combined defibrillator and pacemaker. We chat for 2 hours too - between us there are so many children,GC and GGC there always something going on.
Have you done any painting lately? I must start again but I can’t get motivated.
Wyllow- hope you have moments of brightness in your days.
Love to all- old and new BDs

Hvdy my dh watches tv and plays solitaire too. Does an easy crossword every morning and that’s it. I’m used to going out on my own.

HVDY DH doesn't do much? is that a recent thing? I'm surprised, you two always come across as very active. Isn't it strange how one can get the wrong impression. I do sympathise. Not that I can go out often, but when I can I usually go alone or to art group sisters etc. My DH would cheerfully never step over the door, except for guitar group. He devours books and reads politics. He's always been like that. We do chat a bit and he can be quite funny. We actually went out today and had lunch where Hope Street is filmed. (I don't know if Hope Street is shown nationally).
Two hours on the phone Phew! No wonder you lose your voice 😃. Enjoy your evening, hope you find a nice film to watch.

How's everyone been? It's been sunny and pleasant here - not been out (DH never wants to go anywhere or do anything - he looks at FB, watches tv, plays solitaire on the computer. I'll have to start finding places to go without him). DH's sister rang me, for 2 hours, earlier (she didn't speak to him). Seeing GD1 later (at their house), having dinner with her, then we'll watch a film. Don't forget to put your clocks forward tonight................. x

Night night, dear all xx

Scaredycat That landing was so scary. How awful. Glad you're home safely. As Doodle says must try to forget it.
Sweetpeasue it's definitely the pits not being able to plan. Especially as people rarely understand. Totally empathise. Still recovering from Friday. Glad you got out for a nice walk in the fresh air.
Good evening Doodle HVDY EllieAnne Whiff Candy and everyone on BD. Talk tomorrow.
Wishing everyone a peaceful night x

Wrote a post and lost it! Will try again tomorrow.

Just brief posts tonight.
Whiff The estrangement of your son must be so hard to bear ,I'm so sorry.
HVDY Glad your nephew is now home. Hope he will start to pick up a little.
Scaredycat Glad you're home even though it was such a scary landing. Hope it hasn't put you off another flight! I will take aunt out if I'm OK. Can't pre-arrange anything which is the pits.
Doodle Glad you were able to see your other son and family today. I didn't realise you have AF too. That must be so difficult aswell as the pacemaker. You must barely have come to terms with your own conditions when you've been so worried about your DH. It certainly cant be easy to be positive with so much to face. I think mornings can be the worst when things hit you as you become aware of the worries and concerns. I hope you both sleep tonight. 3 hrs seems a long time for an online service . My son works offshore 2 weeks then home for 3.
Wyllow Goodnight.x

Had half the day under painkillers and and half the day bit easier. We went for walk along beach , beautiful sunshine and white foamy waves though very uncomfortable with bladder pain but at least I got out.

Wishing all BDs a peaceful night.x