Black dog 21

Doodle I am so sorry. I know you are heartbroken and life will never be the same. But take comfort as poor as it is he died in the hospice not the hospital and he is no longer in pain. I know half of you died with him. When you find the love of your life the other half of you and you where his other half together you make a whole. But when they die half of you dies to. I haven't been whole for 20 years. But those of us who do find the other half of ourselves we are the lucky ones . As he was the only person who knew the real you and you him. Some people live their whole lives and never have that.

It's the price we pay for being loved and love in return. It's a heavy price to pay but are lives would have been poorer without them in our lives . Love lasts forever and for me and others here who have lost the love of their life grief lasts forever to.

I know you have faith and hope that will give you some comfort. Don't think you have to be brave for your son's and all those who loved you both as you will only hurt yourself more. I learnt this lesson when my husband died but I was only 45 what did I know about bone crushing grief.

Talk to your husband everyday out loud I promise it will give you comfort . I have shouted ,swore and blamed my husband for dieing but them I see him with that stupid grin on his face and imagine him saying feeling better now.

Everything thing you will feel over the coming days and weeks is normal. There is no right or wrong in grief. If you want to cry ,scream ,shout hit a pillow do it if you don't let your feelings out it will make you feel worse.

Let others do all they can dealing with all the paperwork that follows and death.

But remember to take your tablets ,eat and drink . You will find you lose weight I call it grief weight loss. As grief makes your body work harder.

And if you don't look after yourself you know how your husband would have nagged you to. And when you meet again he will give you a telling off.

My thoughts are with you and all your family. ❤️

Just came on to catch up and have read the awful news. Doodle I am so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you and am sending all my love to you and your family ❤️ Xx

Night night BD's xx

Thinking of you a lot Doodle xx

Doodle, I am sorry your wonderful husband and best friend has died. The grief engulfs you and yet that bond you and he had will not be broken. Try and take care of yourself, it’s what he would have wanted.

Thinking of Doodle a lot today. Although none of us actually know each other, we're all friends, and we all feel for Doodle and her sad loss.

It was grey and cool here, but has brightened up now. How's everyone getting on? x

HVDY- I too have been thinking of Doodle a lot today. You are right we are all friends and have got to know each other here . Doodle and her DH have become part of our lives and we do feel for her and her family and their sad loss.
The sun is out now but still a cool breeze in the shade. Housework and a walk today- feet up now.
Love to allxx

Good afternoon HVDY. I too feel like we have come to know each other in a way and I feel very sad today for Doodle.
It's nice here. But a day in bed for me, starting a jigsaw. The price for visiting friends yesterday, but worth it. I hope your family day was good.
Love to everyone, hope you are OK.
Doodle thinking of you. x

I did aqua aerobics, had brunch at the pub, then decided to make some meals, to freeze, for Chubby Chops. Chicken, rice, broccoli and tinned tomatoes. Did my usual trick of not keeping an eye on it, so the chicken ended up hardand crunchy , so replaced that with piached salmon instead. Love to all x

I need to wear my reading specs when typing!

Such sad news Doodle. Love and Best Wishes xxxx

Oh dear HVDY. Lol. I too wander off and forget. DH stands and watches the pot. Do you worry about bones in the salmon? I'm a bit paranoid. But really, you're a treasure of a mother/grandmother.

nadateturbe Sorry you're not feeling up to a lot. You must rest when you feel weary. I took any bones out, then used a hand blender on it all - she's 10 months old but only got 2 teeth (2 more slightly showing). We didn't have this with the other 2 GDs, so I'm lucky to be able to be involved this time. Seeing C.Chops and DIL tomorrow. They weren't there yesterday - they went to a child's birthday party. The day was great yesterday, though - and I drank too much Pimms! What's the picture on your jigsaw?

SweetPeaSue How are you and your husband?

I can understand why you would want to make the most of C Chops HVDY. These times are precious.
Jigsaw is just a traditional grocer shop. But keeps me occupied.

Scaredycat It's so true that we have all become quite close through our communication here. I am so very sad for * Doodle* As Whiff says--there's a high price for loving. Glad you got out for a walk today.
Nadateturbe Sorry you've had to have a bed day . I wonder if you ever get used to the payback for doing simple things like visiting a friend - it must be so hard for you not to feel resentful , though I guess that would only rob you of more energy .Are you painting anything lately? Hope your eyes are a bit better.
HVDY You are having such a great time with your Chubby Chops and the memories are so precious as Nadateturbe says. Making meals for her from scratch is a lovely thing to do and they sound delicious. Hope she doesn't suffer too much getting the rest of her teeth all at once.
I've had usual morning pain but it soon disappeared after taking med.then I've been fine apart from the worry I'm getting over DH's headaches. GP seems to be stuck with idea that they're migraines bit they're not at all, DH is positive about that. GP sending expedite letter to Rheumatologist to bring forward appt for him but I'm so concerned. They're getting worse and he's getting them most of the day. I've told GP that I believe it's GCA but he's doubtful. I really think he's wrong.

Thank you all. I’ve still not taken it in yet. I feel a bit distanced from things. Know it’s going to hit me at some point but not sure when. Our sons have been amazing and taking such good care of me. Love to all x

Oh Doodle I expect it will be shock. Some things are too much to process all at once. I'm glad your son's are taking care of you -that's a comfort. Let them do as much as they're offering. I'm praying that God will be close. So very sorry Doodle. Much love here for you. X

I don’t often post but want to add my deepest sympathy to you Doodle at this time of great sorrow. 🌹

Doodle I'm glad you have your sons to lean on. Take care of yourself. Praying for strength for you. xx

Doodle I'm glad your sons are looking after you. You're a strong, loving family, and will get through it all, together. x

Evening all, not long arrived back from our caravan where the weather was mostly ok but a heavy mist over the sea each morning which took a long time to go. No rain though thankfully. I’m very tired now though.

You are all so right, we have become “virtual” friends and this is a very special place. We are all indeed feeling for Doodle and her family. I’m glad you have the support of your sons. You will help each other through this, it’s what loving families do and you are lucky enough to have one of those it’s clear to see. Sending you lots of love.
HVDY sounds like you had a productive day. Home cooked food is far better for the little ones and the salmon will be lovely. It’s so nice you are finally having these experiences. I treasured it too with my GS. Savour every minute as it goes too fast!
Nadaterturbe sorry you’ve had a low energy day and I hope that you’re feeling rejuvenated after a long rest. Nice you visited your friends though.
Sweetpeasue hope your pain has stayed away and you’ve managed to have a good day. I hope your DH’s appointment can be brought forward so his headaches can be treated. You are wise to keep pushing the GP. You know yourself when things aren’t right so keep pushing as much as you need to. I hope it all gets sorted soon.
Love to Wyllow and everyone else. Speak soon xx

I hope your DH gets an appointment soon Sweetpeasue. Whatever it is, he needs to know. Glad your pain was manageable today.
To be honest I get a bit down sometimes, like everyone. I try not to give in. Doesnt always work. Just got to try KOKO. (I learnt this from BD.)
Good evening Candy hope you get a good rest tonight. You do need to treasure those times with GC. . They grow so fast. It's lovely to have GC living close. I don't unfortunately.
I'm painting a door scene with flower pots etc. I love doors and windows.
I think Scaredycat if you can find your subject whatever it is you get enthusiasm and motivation.
I thought your cat photo would make a good painting.
Goodnight dear Doodle.
Goodnight Wyllow3 Whiff and everyone else.xx

Night night BD's, will try and say more tomorrow.

Doodle yes I recall so much of what you've written.

Good morning --it's raining here and was meant to be dry.
Have my last appt with psychologist today-mix of sadness, anxiety. DH OK so far. I've had my painkillers during night but quite OK now.
I like looking at pictures of with windows too Nadateturbe . Love to see it when it's finished.(no pressure!)
Candy Had 2 dys of fog here on the coast too. Oh yes, I'll keep pushing at Dr's about DH. This doesn't seem to be ordinary headache at all.
TillyTrotter Nice of you to come in with kind words for Doodle

Doodle Special thoughts to you and sending you love.x

Hope everyone is OK today.

Good morning all.
SweetPeaSue- Hope your appointment goes well today- I can understand your feelings. You are right to push for a proper diagnosis for your DH - those headaches are not right.
Raining here too but not cold. With a bit of luck enough so we don’t need to water tonight. Have a new little rockery so baby plants.
Doodle- thinking of you and your family. You are such a strong unit and full of love - rest and accept whatever help comes your way. Please try to eat- I know how hard it is when your heart is broken. Sending love💐💐

I,m off to photography this afternoon- nice to see what we,ve made of this months subjects.
Have the best day you can everyonexxxx

Good morning Sweetpeasue. Last appointment, you must indeed be anxious, wondering how you will cope without these sessions. I wonder is it possible to ask if you're having a particularly bad time, can you see someone. I've no idea how it works, and it varies so much in different areas.
I'm glad the painkillers are helping. And I think you sound better than a few months ago. Of course I can only go by what you post.
I am up today! done some housework . Going out to buy a new duvet ( that's the plan anyway!).

Thinking of you Doodle, sending my love x
Good morning everyone else.x