Alzheimer's Society Dementia Advert

And, if I had permission, I could post vast amounts of photos showing how well people can live with dementia - happy, smiling faces enjoying themselves.

Wendy Mitchell lived life to the full for a good few years after her diagnosis.

Research shows that early Cognitive stimulation can start to build new pathways in the brain. If people are deterred from seeking help they could miss out on the opportunity.

I don’t know whether those GNers who volunteer, or who have volunteered, with people with dementia, have also lived with it, 24/7, for months or years on end, but I suspect that it may give a somewhat different idea.

My FiL, I know, could easily come across as ‘fairly normal’ for an hour or two when guests were present. Hence I’d get the comments, ‘He doesn’t seem too bad at all to me!’

But they didn’t see the endless pacing, the same question over and over (I once counted 35 times in one hour), not to mention the violent rages over the tiniest thing - over which I usually had no control.

On the Alz. Soc. Talking Point forum, for carers, this was known as ‘hostess mode’ and was a well known feature of the disease.

I volunteer with AgeUk, who have the contract for offering Dementia Services in our area. I volunteered with the AS until they lost the contract.

My main area is working with the Carer's (for over 10 years). I have had relatives and friends with Dementia (admittedly not being the main carer) and I started this volunteering role to help those who were struggling to cope with the person with the diagnosis.

If this advert scares them off (which is a genuine concern) how sad would that be.

I wonder how much help you people who did the hard caring roles, accessed.

Coming across as OK for an hour or two is known as putting on a social facade and is incredibly tiring for the person living with dementia.

"I wonder how much help you people who did the hard caring roles, accessed"
Well here's the problem. The carers charity in our area assume you can get to meetings. They want to give grants for respite for carers but do not understand that I cannot just disappear from my DH and leave him with someone he doesn't know.
After 6 years family members are reluctant to commit to more help after helping out with Hospital and Dentist appointments ( which I am grateful for). So, after the daily grind of almost 14 hours on continual care and running a home and all the admin I no longer have the energy to go searching for help. I just use Age Uk's gardening service - and that's not cheap.
I am 82 and have not had a day off since 2018. Any outings are perhaps for 2/3 hours and not in anyway relaxing as I always have one eye on th clock or an ear out for the phone.
There are many people in a lot worse situation than me.

kittylester

And, if I had permission, I could post vast amounts of photos showing how well people can live with dementia - happy, smiling faces enjoying themselves.

Wendy Mitchell lived life to the full for a good few years after her diagnosis.

Research shows that early Cognitive stimulation can start to build new pathways in the brain. If people are deterred from seeking help they could miss out on the opportunity.

And that's great if that is the case for your loved one - but it certainly isn't the case for everyone with dementia. There are so many different types of dementia and it affects people in so many different ways. Yes, some can live happy lives with it - but many others don't. That is the reality - and if this ad helps to raise awareness, that can only be a good thing. I'm certainly not dismissing the point you are trying to make, kittylester, but you only have to read some of the heartrending posts on here to see that not everyone shares your view. Please don't dismiss those of us who have seen the suffering - and yes, I do mean actual suffering - which dementia can cause.

And, if I had permission, I could post vast amounts of photos showing how well people can live with dementia - happy, smiling faces enjoying themselves.

I have seen photos of my mother at Help the Aged events with a smiling face. What they don't show is the lead up to those photos with the anxiety of going out, the anxiety of being with strangers even though she has been there every week for the last couple of years, etc. They also don't show the volunteers asking for a smile for the camera where the sufferer will do it for a stranger but will be more honest with their carer.

That is not to say that we should not continue to encourage stimulation. God knows that is why I put the both of us through it a couple of times a week. I had to put me through it too because the service where you dropped off your loved one was just too traumatic for my mother.

Of course I understand that earlier diagnosis will see happier people but the reality is, without better drugs, even earlier diagnosis, etc, the path towards the suffering is scarily close and tragic.

*kittylester Tue 02-Apr-24 10:37:44
Obviously, it's very different l, but a diagnosis now doesn't mean that someone immediately becomes bedridden etc.*

Of course not.

I do understand what you are saying Kitty and am sure an advert, which I am yet to see despite watching tv every night, will not affect people seeking help fir their memory problems or those of carers and volunteers, but as I said upthread, there are different types of behaviour and progress with the disease.
I have included Alzheimer’s in my will and hope others will do the same.
I met and talked with Wendy Mitchell a few years ago. She was diagnosed in her 50 s which was cruel, and was a brave and impressive woman. RIP Wendy.

I wonder how much help you people who did the hard caring roles accessed. Words fail me.

And yes of course we know that putting on a show is tiring for our people .We pick up the pieces when it’s over. We can distract and divert all day but sometimes it just doesn’t work.

My point was that one problem we have is that Carers don't know quite how much help there is out there and help has come on in leaps and bounds over the past few years.

One of the things we do on our courses is to signpost people to all the help there is out there.

Well perhaps the 'help' is not matching the problem. Maybe it is too expensive.

We have one visit a year from our GP practice and we are usually guided towards Social Services and I am well aware they are swamped.

I repeat not all of us are able to get to meetings ( I have had to give up driving through insurance costs and anxiety). My DH needs a wheelchair outside and I am not strong enough to push him

In the early stages of the disease I am sure centres and groups are invaluable. Not later when it takes hours to persuade the patient just to get washed, dressed, fed and toileted.

All the help in the world won’t stop this disease progressing. We carers know and understand this but are grateful for the help and support given when needed.

I’ve got lots of help. Support workers, family, friends neighbours. Alzhimers Scotland have been wonderful when I’ve needed an ear or help with all sorts of practical things but still this disease marches on.

It takes over so many more lives than just the poor soul who has it.

I really do hope that this ad hits home and helps to deliver a message to government just how serious this illness is.

Anyone watering down the message of this ad does a disservice to all seriously ill people suffering with this illness.

kittylester

My point was that one problem we have is that Carers don't know quite how much help there is out there and help has come on in leaps and bounds over the past few years.

One of the things we do on our courses is to signpost people to all the help there is out there.

The only help I ever wanted with FiL, was for someone to come and take him away for 24 hours, so I could enjoy some peace and quiet in my own home.

I did not want to attend any group, or to go shopping, or have my hair done or to be ‘pampered’ - just to relax on my own sofa with a good book.

After dh finally insisted on BiL and SiL taking him for a couple of days (SiL had previously refused) I collapsed on the sofa at around 1 pm and slept for 4 hours solid.

I totally understand that Witzend

To have the house to yourself for just Few hours would be just bliss. I do get to go out sometimes but I spend the time in my car just resting I’m not complaining.

Granniesunite, 💐.

kittylester

Obviously, it's very different l, but a diagnosis now doesn't mean that someone immediately becomes bedridden etc.

Early diagnosis and awareness mean that people can have years of fairly normal and active life. The worry is that advert could deter people from going to the gp.

It isn't just me who thinks this.

The people who run the Dementia walking group, gardening group, choir groups, the Memories in sheds, the social groups, the Memory Cafes, the Cognitive stimulation groups, the carer learning groups etc may as well give up and stop wasting their energy.

So you're all giving up because of one advert that's attempting to raise awareness, funds and understanding. An advert that the vast majority on here are supportive of.
Not very committed then. Unlike the real carers, who cannot give up.

kittylester

And, if I had permission, I could post vast amounts of photos showing how well people can live with dementia - happy, smiling faces enjoying themselves.

Wendy Mitchell lived life to the full for a good few years after her diagnosis.

Research shows that early Cognitive stimulation can start to build new pathways in the brain. If people are deterred from seeking help they could miss out on the opportunity.

Do you have any idea how patronising you sound.

The last photo taken of my mom was Christmas morning at my brother's and sister in law's. They had mom for 4 days so I could stay with my daughter and family and see my son and family. She looked totally bewildered. No idea it was Christmas and my brother total her who each of the presents where off. She said do I know them . She had a nice day had no idea who my brother and sister in law was but did say to him at bedtime I have had a nice day can I die in your bed. He said yes if that's what you want. She didn't . But had forgotten she asked him. After mom's funeral we destroyed the photo as it wasn't mom. Last time mom looked like mom was when she held her first great grandson in the November before she died but as soon as she stopped holding him she wasn't my mom again. Those photos we kept .

I have personally know family and friends who had a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's and every photo taken once it had taken hold they never took or kept a photo of them . And everyone one of those people turned violent but as I have said it's fear that makes them act that way.

I have just gone through this - that ad is spot on
The truth hurts

It is a hard hitting advert and reminds me so much of my Mum - I can’t watch it anymore as it triggers me - so it’s obviously having an impact - but Why- I’m not even sure what’s it’s about now

Dinahmo

Furthermore - things may have changed but for many years the Alzheimer's Society received around 3% of the donations that Cancer Research received. May be such an advert is necessary for fundraising?

I agree, I thought that was exactly why it was necessary Dinahmo. It is painful to watch for those already affected by this dreadful disease, and although I dislike the phrase ‘ raise awareness’, it may help people to think about how devastating it is for every family affected.
The Bodach died of cancer just a year after his dementia began, and it was already heartbreaking to see his decline. Through our Memory Clinic I met family members who had been living with the effects for years, so if money can be raised to help them, then surely it’s a good thing?

It’s no bad thing to raise awareness of certain diseases but you are a ‘sitting duck’ when it’s continuously put before you on tv. As Fiona says, sometimes you need to switch it off. Trauma can stay with us long term and is easily triggered. I can't help feeling that is what the advertisers are banking on…and that in the process they hope it will result in greater donations to the appropriate organisations. It’s cruel in my view. Most people don’t need to be made more aware and I’ll choose where my money goes without being virtually brainwashed.

Hardly brainwashing stillness. You choose where you support.
As has been said Alzheimers gets a fraction of other charities so is reliant on public funds so advertising is pretty standard as a means of funding what has been seriously lacking for Dementia in all its forms for far too long.

I would refer to it as a long goodbye, not a slow death.

My dad was physically fit for a long time but the day he walked past me in the street with his carer as if he didn't know me broke my heart. I walked into my mother's and burst into tears. The second time was when I went with my mother to see him in hospital and when she went to find him I wouldn't have recognised the bent wizened old man that walked in with my mother. I should say that she supported him. He died 32 years ago and I'm crying as I write this. The advert is hard hitting but it's similar to what we went through as a family. It's a cruel, hard disease and I hope they find a way to halt or treat it. No one, or their family, should a a victm(s). Hreartbreaking.