Hypoactive Delerium

A long worrying weekend in prospect for you I suspect. It gives you time to really think about her. A sad long goodbye. Thinking of you.

AskAlice

This happened with my Dad just three months after he went into a care home. What helped me and my siblings was that he was safe, warm, was made as comfortable as possible and was not distressed. The care home staff were very good and looked after him and us. We were very fortunate (it was what we wanted) to be with him when he died and he knew right to the end that we were all there.

You are in my thoughts.

Thank you for your reply. I’ve heard it’s very common thing to happen in care homes, although I’d never heard of it.
Mum appears to be comfortable, she’s well looked after and not distressed. It’s been a week now with no food, only mouth swabs, she has drugs available to her although the district nurse has to come to the care home to give them so she’s only had one lot so far. I’m hoping it’s not long now for her sake.

Mandymoo456 This happens so often doesn’t it, it makes you wonder. Mum and I left my dad about 8pm we were expecting him to live another couple of days, we had a call at 1am to say he’d died.
We can only assume it’s what they wanted. My mum is hanging on bless her four days today, she’s only had the tiniest sips of water and she’s actually been able to hug us today and mouth some words, before falling back to sleep again. It’s all a mystery.

This happened with my Dad just three months after he went into a care home. What helped me and my siblings was that he was safe, warm, was made as comfortable as possible and was not distressed. The care home staff were very good and looked after him and us. We were very fortunate (it was what we wanted) to be with him when he died and he knew right to the end that we were all there.

You are in my thoughts.

Same with me many years ago my mum was hospitalised, I stayed for days holding her hand and talking to her, I had to get washed and clean clothes on the Saturday so popped back home and that's when she slipped away, I loved her so much, this was 44 years ago

Sending thoughts and hugs to you all.

Thinking of you.

Yes I know of a number of people who waited until they were alone to die. One of them actually said she couldn't die with everyone around her.
Sending hugs Katy.

Sheflife, I think sometimes people do choose to die when their relatives are not there.

My DF was in hospital and they had alerted us that they though the end was near. My sister and I sat with him for 5 hours and then nipped out to the hospital cafe, which was opposite the ward door, for a quick cup of coffee.

When we got back, he had died. The nurses told us that this happened with with a ot of people. They held on while the faily was there, but when they left just relaxed and slipped away.

Katyj This a very sad time for you, but it seems that your mother is being cared for gently and thoughtfully, and what more could one ask for. but this cannot help but be a sad and difficult time for you.

Sending kind thoughts Katyj and, if the time has come, hoping your Mum's passing will be gentle and peaceful.
It's what we'd wish for us all.

Shelflife I think that happens often.

Such a sad time for you Katyj. Take comfort from knowing that your mum will know that you’re with her.
Sending hugs. 💐

My lovely Mum died aged 92, I had been sitting with her all day and through the nights. I was persuaded to go home and rest , I was exhausted so took their advice. Mum ' chose ' to slip away in my absence! If this happens to you please do not feel guilty - it often happens that way. Sending you strength 💐

Thinking of you and your family ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Do take care of yourself. xx

Thank you for the lovely support. The care home manager was telling me this morning they had one lady on end of life care five times ! She didn’t say how old she was.
It’s just a waiting game I suppose. I’m not good at staying for hours at a time so intend to visit again this afternoon then one of my sons will go this evening.

It’s hard to cope with but you must prepare yourself for anything now. She could gradually recover, or not. Spend as much time as you can with her now and hold her hand and talk to her. She will hear you.

Thinking of you. A peaceful slipping away by the sound of it.

Sending kindest thoughts to you and your dear mum

Katyj thank you for updating your post & it sounds as though your Mum is just slowly letting go at the end of a long life. We have so little experience of what natural death is like, so often it's portrayed as full of drama. It sounds as though she is being cared for very well. One thing you may want to think about is that it can take a surprisingly long time so don't forget to take good care of yourself too.

That is hard for you Katyj Hope she has a peaceful and gentle end of life. No matter how old they are,when our loved ones get to the end it is distressing and heartbreaking.

Thank you. I went to visit her early this morning as the carer said she had opened her eyes. She was fast asleep again, she hasn’t drank or been awake since Saturday.
The hospital Dr has put her on end of life care. Hoping she goes quickly without pain bless her ❤️

Poor lady and poor you. A very distressing time, not much I can say to comfort you but my thoughts are with you . 💐

If she hasn’t really woken up since the weekend or had anything to drink, I don’t think that she will be well enough to be sent out of hospital. I doubt that they will give her fluids intravenously. I’m so sorry, but I hope she recovers.

At 92, your mum has reached a good age.

I think you must be prepared for anything, not easy, I know.

This lady sounds very poorly and I hope she is kept comfortable at the care home.
My thoughts are with you.