Loneliness in younger men

Norah I only mentioned men in my post as this is what I have observed over the last couple of months and wondered if it was noticed by others.I agree that women are also lonely and was not ignoring their feelings. I feel for anyone in this situation.

Norah

Do we comment on lonely women?

Not that it matters. Just a thought.

We should be talking about lonely people. It is just that there are a lot more lonely men than women and the suicide rate for men is two or three times that of women but lonely women should not be ignored.

It’s no different for women David if a woman is shy she is going to be less inclined to talk or be part of a group
Men don’t talk feelings or illnesses but they can change, they can open up it just needs a bit of practice and that’s what Walk and Talk groups are all about
There’s no need for you to feel sorry for women who ‘can’t find a partner’ that sounds such a sexist and patronising thing to say many manage very well, sometimes better without a extra person to look out for
Many women bring their children up very successfully without a man better alone, than a cheater or a skinflint or an abuser

Do we comment on lonely women?

Not that it matters. Just a thought.

Georgesgran

This could describe my friend’s son. He’s a ‘nice man but a ‘difficult’ character and both his long term relationships have failed. Meanwhile, the few friends he had are now married with children and just not tolerant or even interested in his personal issues, no doubt they already have their own.
He has a good job, but the only male amongst middle aged women.
He has a dog for company, but he’s clinically depressed and on long term medication.

It’s really sad and probably more common than we think.

Loneliness amongst young to middle aged men is a big problem in society.Working from home and not seeing colleagues and just giving up on any kind of social life.Divorce can cause the same, the man moves out leaving his house to the wife and kids and moves into a bedsit somewhere.
Young men end up just gaming every night.

Men of course socialize in many activities but if they are shy it’s difficult the break into any clique unless you excell at something. It’s easy if you’re a great footballer or a rugby player. The same with dating it’s easy if you’re confident, men dont even have to be good looking to get attention, but being shy and awkward gets you dismissed as creepy or a geek.

Men dont talk about their problems, it’s not manly, not macho, they retreat into solitary activities, video games is a good example, I know a couple who are computer experts who spend their whole waking hours designing software and computers.

Men’s sheds are older men usually retired and would not appeal to the younger set who if they are unemployed get directed to voluntary work.

To be honest my sympathies go to young women who cannot find a partner to settle down with, if they have children it’s even more difficult

This could describe my friend’s son. He’s a ‘nice man but a ‘difficult’ character and both his long term relationships have failed. Meanwhile, the few friends he had are now married with children and just not tolerant or even interested in his personal issues, no doubt they already have their own.
He has a good job, but the only male amongst middle aged women.
He has a dog for company, but he’s clinically depressed and on long term medication.

Two thoughts spring to mind. One is concern about the rise in the suicide rate of young men; is there a connection?

My other thought is about GN being, or seeming to be, mainly women who post threads and comments. I know there are a few men on here and very welcome they are too, by me anyway, as they can broaden discussions and should be encouraged to open up.

In the past men alone would retreat to the pub. They could not afford to have more than a pint or two over an evening but it provided company and also a community. If they didn;t turn up for a while people would look out for them.

So many pubs have closed and many are more food outlets than pubs so that scial support is missing.

There have always been lonely men or loners (not the same thing). I had an uncle by marriage who fell into that group (he also did not drink) and he used to admit that if he hadn't had the good fortune, in his mid 30s to meet my aunt, some 10 years his senior, he would probably have committed suicide. Fortunately for him my aunt returned his love and they were happily married for over 40 years. But once she died and he was alone again he couldn't cope mentally and went into a care home. In retrospect I think he was probably autistic, he simply did not understand ordinary social discourse. I think this appies to many of lifes loners, especially men.

A lot of social groups are women only and the ones that are mixed I have noticed some women will often group together and exclude the few men that come along. I don't think men want their own groups we should be welcoming. Not all men talk about football and cars and some women follow football and cars.

Working from home is making this problem much worse - people can go for days without actually seeing anyone

We have a ‘Walk and talk’ here Men only and they walk together for a couple of hours at weekends and I think they saw how women talk it all out and they re trying I don’t know if they talk in depth or about football and cars, maybe both, that would be healthy

I cannot speak about married younger men or those with partners and families.

I see lonely men who are single.
And also, sometimes dont work either.

Uk society as a whole, has become more insular, in my opinion. And selfish.
Many people nowadays seem to see this as a good thing. I certainly dont.