Black Dog 23

Hello minimoon good to see you in - do keep coming in if it helps…this is a good place no judgement ....And to answer Doodle on passing the time - I can distract on posting political things a bit as its been a big part of my life since childhood, and I read a bit - its not resolving anything - just a hug, for those long hours.

I have read today and followed your days but just cant raise the oooompf to write properly all, and reply. Tum and mood bad….met the new carer briefly, not sure yet she is very young and tomorrow demanding.

Night night BD’s

Ellie Anne you’ve got a busy week . Seems you have a lot on. Nice to spend time with your DGC but not so nice all the travelling.
I went for a walk today. Not far just half an hour but I had to get out. Wasn’t too cold.
Willow i wonder how you cope day after day. Dreary is the right word. It’s how I feel let alone the weather. What do you do to pass the time. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything much. Where is your second carer coming from? How often will you see her? Hope it all goes well and you get on.
Minigrandma welcome. Sorry you’re feeling so low. It could well be SAD. I did buy a lamp but it didn’t help me it’s currently on loan to someone else, I think it might not have worked for me because I am grieving rather than depressed.
I hope someone will be along who can help or you could try the search function and look up Sad lamps I’m sure there are posts about them
HVDY my goodness what a shock about your tumble dryer. That could have been so dangerous, good job you were around.
I have been resting and drinking lots of hot drinks. My cough is better today thank you.
Scaredycat what a lovely family Christmas you’re having. Nice for your DGD to have you all over. Has she done it before?
We always used to go to my Mum and Dad for Christmas then as they got older my SIL took over and all the family aunts and uncles came too.
Sweetpeasue you’re right and it is complicated but I understand completely. Would you be able to get a private vascular appointment any sooner than the nhs one? It might be worth it. Someone needs to join all the dots in your husbands treatment.
I’m sure you’re supporting your DIl in all ways you can. Must be hard for all of you.
Hope your DH gets his blood test done properly soon

EllieAnne Glad you've managed the car drive by an easier route. Sounds like you've a very busy week. Hope afterwards you get some time for yourself to do a walk.
Doodle A cough like that can be very irritating and I hope it does make your throat worse. You might be forced to do less talking I'm 😱 afraid. Make sure you get the rest you need - you've been burning the candles at both ends.
DH had a Doppler scan done months ago after the Rheumatologist told him he had Subclavian Steal. It showed plaque in left carotid artery and radiographer said at the time if it was any worse he'd have been taken straight away from there by ambulance. The Vascular appt wasn't good enough as the nurse that relayed info back n forth didn't tell the consultant ( who we never saw) that DH had bad pain in his left arm which is caused by Vascular Insufficiency , caused by carotid artery being partly blocked and blood flow being diverted( Subclavian Steal). No one has said he needs an op but we are waiting for the second opinion Vascular appt that GP said we needed. He said he's afraid to leave my DHs BP as it is but he's also afraid to treat it ,as there's vastly different BP in both arms. Wish he'd got in touch with Vascular before now. He was sent to hand Dr because of the pain in affected arm . Hand consultant sent him for the tests but believes he should be seen by Vascular. Now DH has started with the breathlessness and just been given inhalers but I think his breathing problems could be due to the Vascular problems.
Sorry it's so complicated but that's the best explanation I have of it all. Hope I'm making sense and don't mean to go on about it. Just so worried and meanwhile his BP in right arm is so high.
Thankyou for your kindness .It must be so hard for you to think about the mths your own beloved husband was ill. x
HVDY Hoping my explanation above has made it a little clearer. Yes the inhaler helps for an hr or so.
Oh goodness your tumble dryer ! Hope it wasn't when you were asleep- did the smoke alarm go off. You'll miss it while it's out of order, especially this awful weather. I use my radiators too but try not to.
Wyllow Hope meeting your new carer wasn't too bad and first impressions are encouraging. How is your tum now? Hope everything is getting back to some normality.
Minigrandma Sorry to hear you have suffered with Depression for so many years. It really does affect our lives so much and I tend to think some are prone more than others though I understand some people might have only one bout of it. I'm afraid I know little about SAD and haven't used a light in Winter but it's certainly worth a try. The gloomy dark days can't help at all. The lack of motivation and not wanting to bother with anything I know is difficult to overcome. I'm on antidepressants and am sure theh help. Please post here whenever you feel. Sometimes good to know you're not alone.
Scaredycat Hope you're OK today. Xx

Son2's MIL had to go to hospital last night ( infection suspected after starting chemo) so we had fluffball today. I feel so sad for my DIL but well try and help where we can and I try to say the 'right' things .
Went to last reading group today.
DH was called by GP surgery. The blood test that was re- scheduled for this morning ( the one hospital couldn't analyse because of backlog) had to be cancelled again as nurse was off sick and no one else to help.Now next Monday.

Love to all and those not in or just reading. Have a peaceful night. X

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- glad yesterday wasn’t too bad for you- you,ve made some good inroads to Xmas preps.
Ah listening to DH during the night is very nerve racking for you- the only consolation for you is that at least he is sleeping.
I think you should do whatever you feel will help- a,private Appt may help to put your mind at rest a bit. Then if any
Action is needed he would be able to go onto the consultants NHS list I think.
Doodle- tickly coughs are so irritating aren’t they- especially when you are enjoying a good natter. I,m glad that these last few days have helped you even though you have worn yourself out. Those tears are natural and didn’t stop you also having some good moments too.
Yes DH has always been a support for the Churchyard visits- he understands.
We are going to my GD1 and her family for Xmas along with DD& SiL + GD3 & Boyfriend. It,ll be good for my DD to have a rest although she,ll be itching to get stuck in. She’s had a lot of stress this year and works too hard.
EllieAnne- glad you got there safely- I prefer the motorway but won’t drive at night as my vision isn’t so good with the beginning of cataracts.
Hope you have a less frantic time next week.
Wyllow- I understand very much that your walking with your carer is very important for you and really the more you can walk the better.
Once you,ve spoken with DiL you can order the Xmas stuff the not have to worry anymore. It’s not easy for you to do I know but it will be a relief once you,ve done it.
Hope the new carer is somebody you could ge5 on with. It must be difficult to have someone different but they could turn out to be someone whose company you enjoy.
Too right about the weather- bring on the Sunshine this weather is not good for anyone.
Mini grandma- nice to see you here. You have been suffering for a long time . I think what HVDY suggested regarding your GP is worth a try.You may need to change your meds or n crease the existing ones. It’s not the time to be cutting them down .
As for the lamps - I,ve never tried one but I have a very bright reading light that I always enjoy having on when it’s dark and dismal .
Hope you have some success with your GP and that someone may have info regarding the lamps. Take care and come here whenever you need to.
HVDY- thank you for your kind remarks.
OMG what a scary thing to happen with the tumble. Thank goodness it didn’t lead to anything worse. Sounds like your DH can repair,it- he is a multitalented man isn’t he.
Hope you’re ok and have a good day wit( LittleGirl tomorrow.

Love to all and thinking of all who are absent at the moment.

Doodle Hope you're feeling a bit better. Drink lots! And rest (not always easy to do).

ScaredyCat You've had such sadness in your life, but you're always kind and thoughtful to others. You're a lovely lady.

SweetpeaSue Has your husband been told he might need an operation to do with his carotid artery? (sorry if you've said so before). It is worrying when you're lying next to someone who is wheezing or unwell at night. Did the inhaler he had make any difference? My husband has got one (a preventative one) and it does help him.

Wyllow3 I'm fed-up with the grey skies, too. Hope tomorrow will be brighter. Best of luck with the new carer tomorrow.

EllieAnne You managed the drive, well done. You've got a busy time with the grandchildren and everything else. Hope the weather improves so that you can get out.

Minigrandma I first started with clinical depression 35 years ago (am 65 now), had tablets on and off. I've been on Mirtazapine now for about 7 or 8 years. I'd rather stay on them for the rest of my days than ever feel as bad as I did. I think the grey skies and cold weather add to a low mood. I've heard about those lamps, but never known anyone who has ever used them. You could perhaps try asking the GP surgery for an urgent appointment, saying you feel so very low.

How's everyone been today? Our tumble dryer caught fire last night! Smoke and flames came out of the back. DH took it to bits this morning, found a bra wire stuck in there! The element has burnt away to nothing, the new parts are arriving on Saturday, so there's washing on the clothes horse and several radiators for now. Hope everyone is ok x

I have suffered on and off with depression for some time, my last bout up to now is 4 years, tried coming off my tablets earlier this year and it didn't work out.
Just recently i am getting worse, i have no motivation to do anything, don't want to go anywhere, i feel despondent all the time.
I have tried for the last week to get an appointment with a GP but not succeeded as yet, not that i have the motivation to go anyway.
I am wondering if it could be seasonal affective disorder, and maybe a lamp may help.
Anyone got any thoughts on the disorder?

It’s a big Sainsbugs, HVDY, should be able to find something nice. Ouch, that was a tiring and interrupted night with Jaffa. Must be lovely with LittleGirl watching her.

I could go with carer Scaredycat but like to use the time to walk. DiL will tel me what to buy children via Amazon usually. I still put it off its not like me. Yes it takes so much just to get dressed.
Thank you for the tip offs about Wells, appreciated. Yes - frustrating for you not to be able to do what you could x

Sweetpeasue yes still trying to work out whats best tum-wise. Well done on that shopping today and wrapping up. It must have been so distressing listening to DH at night. Sounds like you might need to remind your GP about the Vascular person for advice.

Sorry to hear about the cough Doodle. I can understand the wanting to keep busy and not letting people down but it was a lot to take on. Hugs for your tears xx

You’re brave to take on the driving EllieAnne although its needs must. A busy week for you with the children and Dentist and concerts! I hope the sun shines next week for you for walks.

In fact I hope for sun for all of us - it’s been dreary day after day here.

Tomorrow I meet a second carer. Very nervous. Dressing gown day did nothing today.

Night night BD’s may sleeps be as good as possible.

I will see sons at Christmas but a helping with childcare this week.
I decided on the back roads tonight which was not great with freezing fog but the motorway looked too busy for me.
I don’t ask dh to come . It’s my escape . He doesn’t seem at all concerned about me. Or just doesn’t care.
Tomorrow it’s ds1 and gd2. Thursday is son 2 and gs nursery pick up.Friday is dentist am then making up bags for our old folks club. Sat is concert with choir.
I hope next week will be quieter and maybe get some walks.

Sweetpeasue you are obviously worried about your DH and i can understand why. Sorry I should know but has your DH had any checks on his carotid artery is that why you think he might need an op. I can remember you mentioning it before but not in what context. Paying for a private consultation is one thing but if an operation is need by a vascular surgeon that’s a whole different ball game.
Glad you got on with your Christmas shopping. I’ve been doing bits.
Iam a bit better today thanks although now I’ve got the thickly cough that comes on when you talk. Really annoying for me as I love talking 🤣. Been to church again today but this time for a service which was lovely.
Scaredycat thank you. Yes I have overdone things but after agreeing to help out I didn’t want to let anyone down. I had also been looking forward to being occupied for four whole days. Didn’t stop the tears but did help me to enjoy some other bits.
Your DH sounds a really good man. So pleased he comes to the church with you to lay your wreaths. Despite the years passed it is still a very emotional time and I’m sure it’s a comfort to have him with you.
My voice is a bit better. Sorry I might have missed it but what are you doing for Christmas?
HVDY you’ve certainly had a busy day and an early start, A certain young lady keeps you busy. Must be lovely to spend so much time with her.
Ellie Anne i hate driving on motorways and in the dark too. As others have suggested could your DH go with you? Is there an alternate route you could use without going on the motorway? You’ve certainly been organised with your presents.
Willow I’m sure your family will understand. Could you get them gift cards or something off the internet. This will be the first year I haven’t bought a Turkey. Feels a bit odd not rushing to do the Christmas order.

Doodle Do hope you're feeling much better today. Please try and rest too .Your efforts to distract from grief, so admirable and your church will appreciate all your help at this time of year , but do try and rest up now. Your body is worn out. X
EllieAnne I find it really difficult driving in the dark and your concerns so understandable. I hope your husband can help or accompany you. Our mind can go on overdrive thinking of all possibilities though realities are often not as not as bad as imagined scenarios but I wouldn't want to do it. Is it possible for your son to come up after Christmas and you can exchange presents then? So sorry you're having to do everything as usual

HVDY What a full day you've had again. I'm guessing Littlegirl will sleep soundly after all the activities. Aw your day centre visit was lovely . Always very poignant to hear children singing- their little faces wanting to do well -so innocent. Gets me too! Lovely Christmas dinner aswell.
Naughty Jaffa waking you for strokes - he's so happy with you isn't he.
Scaredycat Yes my aunt is very tiny - she eats less than a bird.
I'm glad your DH goes with you to the church with your wreaths. So sorry for your immense sadness at this time. When the sky is dark and gloomy it makes it worse somehow. You have so big a heart for others troubles when you've had huge sorrow of your own. x
I must see to my Camelia tomorrow poor thing.
Wyllow I've been trying not to think of Christmas gifting but am pretty much sorted now having resorted to gift cards. I really couldn't begin to know what my sons and their wives would want , apart from their likes of certain chocs and drinks. How is your tummy now? I sometimes get waves of sickness with Movicol though I still prefer it to certain other stuff like Lactulose-- yuck.
Think of you every day and willing you to keep going. X

Not bad today. Bit more shopping and wrapping though I've no idea how some of it will get to son 1's. Woke at 4am and couldn't sleep for listening to DH's wheeze on each exhalation and worrying. Thought, not for 1st time, of private Vascular consultant though DH doesn't think it will help as he might need op on carotid artery. 7 weeks to go yet for NHS appt. GP meant to be getting in touch with Vascular for advice about managing his BP but no news yet.

Thinking of everyone here and those not in or mentioned. Wishing you all peace of mind and a peaceful night.

Hi all
Wyllow- As HVDY says there are some really good ready meals nowadays. If you can go into M and S they have many nice things and meal deals too. Most can be kept in the fridge for a few days.
The pressie situation is difficult for you isn’t it but your family know you are struggling at the moment so if you can chat with DiL she,ll understand. Getting Gift cards or Vouchers online would be a good way to go. If you could go into Marks they do gift cards too. Would your carer go wit( you?
You do so well with your weekly shop even though you find it hard. I just think you are really courageous.
EllieAnne- that’s a lot to cope with. The weather for driving has been horrible lately- would your husband not go with you to help . Your anxiety and nervousness is so understandable. Try not to think of all those scenarios though - easy to say I know.
You need some backup and help with all you do.
HVDY- I use wella volumising products. I,ve often wondered what Bedhead stuff is like.
Early morning call from Jaffa! I remember one little cat we had that used to wake us up washing our hair!You,ve had along busy day- you and LittleGirl will be weary after that. You are amazing how much energy you use. I miss being as active as I was.
Yes DH has always willingly helped me to do those things that are so personal.
Doodle - hope you had some restorative sleep last night and feel less poorly today. I think you probably did a bit too much - but understandable under the circumstances.
Take care of yourself and take it a bit easy for a couple of days.
Love to all

Doodle I hope you slept well and that you feel a bit better today. Gargling with saltwater is very good for sore or hoarse throats.

ScaredyCat Your husband is obviously a kind and understanding man. What do you use on your hair? I don't like the feel of any products on mine, but I do use Bedhead "Head Rush" to make it look glossy.

EllieAnne I can imagine how worried you must be. Won't your husband go with you?

Wyllow3 There are some nice ready meals about these days. Hope you find something, or could you order any shopping online?

It's been a tiring day - Jaffa woke me at 4am (he slept on my bed but had access to every room), demanding some strokes . I got back to sleep at 5, then was up at 6.20. Took LittleGirl to a playgroup, which she enjoyed, then a small playpark after lunch. She went at 4. Hope ALL BDers have been ok x

I’m very anxious this week. Have a lot of driving to do helping with child care, some in the dark on busy motorways and have convinced myself that something awful will happen. I’ve wrapped and organised most of the presents in case it does. So anxious and scared.

HVDY now that was a lovely day at the Day Centre. At the moment music doesnt work for me, but Ii’m really glad you do listen. I’m aware from what you say that you often wake early.

Hello again Doodle it sounds like doing your bit for the church tired you out a lot and glad you tucked yourself up in bd.

I’ll have to get pressies together this week Scardeycat….and find a way to say sorry to family how difficult it is. Thank you for encouragement koko much needed.
What volumising products do you use on your hair? (Ask eagerly).
Thank you for sharing your visit to church for the wreaths. And DH coming with you - and oh yes for the cold and dark so early.

Thinking of regulars not in today.

I feel it’s getting harder not easier just to shop, but I did whizz round and get everything needed. I haven’t got much freezer space but might get a chicken ready meal for c mas or something.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- Hope your Camelia will thrive again- that weather was awful. Ah what a tiny little,Aunt she is - you did well to hang on to her. Glad you got back before it got too bad.
Sorry about the bladder pain again- good idea to rest in the warm. It’s cold again today isn’t it.
Doodle- you have worked so hard despite feeling rotten. I think a rest in bed and maybe a ‘hottie’ is just what you need.
Have you got some honey and lemon for your throat?
Hope you start to feel better soon- peaceful sleep wishes.
Wyllow- oh it sounds like things could be on the move tum wise. Sorry about the nausea but it,ll be worth it if you can get some sort of regularity. Just follow the instructions then you can tailor it to suit you.
Those night time/ early morning thoughts are so hard to deal with. Music or even TV might distract you or even a book?
Hope shopping went well - there is so much temptation in the supermarkets this time of year.
How,about Amazon Vouchers for pressies this year - it eliminates worry about what to get.
You are doing so well with koko- right behind youxx
HVDY- we didn’t have dinner at the pub just an impromptu Drink or 2!,
What a nice lunch you had today - Christmas pud is such a treat especially with custard. Followed by those dear little voices - so innocent and full of hope.
Your hair sounds pretty- mine is blondy grey and not dyed either. But it’s very fine and getting so thin now. Thank goodness for volumising products.

We,ve been up to the Church today to take the Christmas wreath for my DS and his Dad. My DH always comes with me and I,m so grateful for that. Especially on such a cold ,dark and dismal day like today when it’s always harder to deal with.
Love to all

Me again. Been at church since 9 clearing up. Lost my voice and feel quite rough. I’m going to bed to rest as I’m so tired, sorry hopefully be better tomorrow xx

ScaredyCat Glad you had a nice time with your family. It's always good to go out for a meal. What did you have?

SweetpeaSue A decent hairdresser would be able to advise you. I've given up dyeing mine - the bottom 2 inches are blonde, the rest white/grey, and I have my hair layered. Hope you and your husband aren't too bad today.

Wyllow3 I have dark thoughts in the night, so then listen to music through the headphones. Hope your day has been better today.

It was a roast turkey lunch at the day centre, then Christmas pudding and cream. About 20 children from the nearby primary school came and sang. I always cry when any children sing. Daft. I'm glad they didn't sing Silent Night . Hope ALL BDers have been ok x

That sounds like a nice day there HVDY with the family. You’re right to get a decent new tree.

Glad to hear that you had a family meet up too, Scardeycat. Not surprised you got all done in. Thats a nice thought to EmilyAnne.
Well remembered what I do on Mondays…

I didnt get those high winds, Sweetpeasue its fortunate its just one re-potting. Sorry to hear that today was a bad and painful bladder day, glad it’s settled now.

It’s just really good you come in Doodle. When you can! X

Tum “working” but quite a lot of feeling sick. Hard to get right. Today was doing a wash and having a shower - and somehow as ever getting through. I wake and lie with bad thoughts in the morning, its hard to koko..really have to contact DiL re what pressies and so on.

Night night dear BD’s be as well as you can xx

Doodle Please don't be sorry -no need. You're doing so much - do try and rest too. Sleep tight.x

I’m so sorry. Another night when I’m not posting
I’ve been at church all day in my feet and I am shattered. Not feeling well at all. Didn’t get home till 7.30 and I’m off to bed soon. Try and catch up Tomorrow but it’s been a manic weekend.
Hope everyone is ok.xx

Candy Hope you weren't too affected by the storm. Winds up to 70mph here but only damage in our garden was my terracotta pot with my established Camellia in that's smashed in bits. Will need to re-pot.
HVDY Nice family time there at son's.
I've thought of a topper- not sure how it would work with my having to dye hair so often but should make enquiries if I ever get to a hairdresser.
Scaredycat It's so lovely that you get to spend much time with family. You'll need a quiet night now. Yes, my aunt loves to come out. We just made it back before the strong wind hit us. I still had to hang on to all 6stone of her!
Doodle Oh I do hope you're feeling a little better. You've been trying so hard to distract yourself with company you must have been exposed to a bug/virus.
Keep warm and big hugs .
Wyllow I do feel for you wanting to avoid Christmas. Have only just started getting things organised myself but it's going to be mainly gift cards. Don't know if I'll see son 1 till after Christmas so we'll be having a quiet one. Hope you manage to contact your sis soon and your tum is getting sorted. It makes you feel horrible when you're all bunged and with gripey pain. Tomorrow is another day. You are trying so hard , like Doodle.
EllieAnne Thinking of you and hope you're OK.

Not good day today with bladder pain but OK now. Just quiet day inside.
Hoping everyone has a restful night. Love to all and those not mentioned.x

Hi all
Quick visit today . Been a busy morning then this afternoon we all went to one of the pubs on the Green . I was tired before we went but never ever pass up a chance to be with our family . So now am done in - I don’t drink alcohol either!
Candy- nice to see you. Just had the chairs to pic up after the wind and rain they decided to blow down the garden!! Hope you had a good sleep.
Doodle- I,m sorry you are feeling so down - you,ve had a lot of emotional happenings this week and done quite a lot. On top of that to feel poorly. A lot for your poor body and mind to take. Hope you were able to sleep well and peacefully
HVDY- hooray you got some boots😀 Glad you had a nice lunch out - a roast is always good.
Wyllow- I saw an article about a hair thickening tonic from Boots but can’t remember what it was called. Perhaps you could Google - it might be good.
Hope the Movicol is waking up your tum!
You,ll find the right time to talk about Christmas.
Have a good shopping trip tomorrow and spoil yourself a bit.
SweetPeaSue - sounds like a good day and so admire you for your kindness to your Auntie. Hope you were ok today too.
EllieAnne- weekend nearly done! Hope it hasn’t been too bad.
Love to all - peaceful sleeps

Doodle I hope you're feeling a bit better today. It sounds as though you've been very busy.

SweetpeaSue Could you get a hair topper? Mine is thin at the front (not enough for a proper fringe). I keep looking at them. Well done on taking your aunt out. She must look forward to seeing you.

Wyllow3 My hair came out a LOT, months after I had Covid. Son1 was the same. Christmas is getting nearer. I must say, I'll be glad when it's been and gone. The build-up has been months already.

EllieAnne I bet the weather has been very bad where you are. How have you been?

Went to Son1's for lunch today (a roast), played some drawing games (like Pictionary but online) and general quizzes. Ordered a Christmas tree - ours is years old so a bit tatty now (DH insists it's fine). Hope ALL BDers have been ok x

Dear Doodle it’s just really nice to see you in. It sounds like a really demanding weekend and on top of that you are poorly. I hope tonight is restful.

You were bold to venture out today Scaredycat with the winds and rain! Definitely feet up afterwards. Thank you for the old Wyllow remarks. And your usual thoughtful long post.

Yes, I’ve been tested, HVDY Hooray for boots news! They sounds great. Ooo, sparkly nails.

Warmest waves to you EllieAnne.

Yes Sweetpeasue will add in Bisocodyl. Needed unfortunately after another day. You’re so right about hair. Well done for taking Aunt out and card writing. Looking forward to seeing Gromit when all sewed up.

Several things I could do with t a GP chat on Candy….I know it’s a tough time of year for so many. Great to “”See”you in. I hope you are OK, as you dont mention yourself x

Dressing gown day and put off c mas again. Got to do something soon it soon.

Night night dear BD’s

Evening all, quick post for me tonight.
Wyllow I’m sorry about your hair but as others have said it may be worth a chat with GP incase you are deficient in something. Hope the Movicol works for you soon🤞and you are able to face the messages about Christmas. It’s such a stressful and difficult time of year for so many. Hope you are able to rest to tonight.
* Sweetpeasue* good you got out and did some shopping. So much to do this time of year. Hope you and DH have had a good day.
HVDY great you got your boots. Hope you’ve had a good day.
Scaredycat lovely post to everyone as usual. Hope you have had a good day.
Doodle so sorry things are difficult for you. Sending love and hugs. Hope you feel better soon and have a restful sleep.
* Ellie Anne* thinking of you. Hope you are ok.

Hope all have stayed safe during the storm. Love to all. Apologies if Ive missed anyone. So tired tonight. Night night xx