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Premature Grandson

(91 Posts)
Mandy45 Wed 11-Sept-24 17:14:08

I was wondering if anyone has had to cope with similar circumstances to mine.
My daughter gave birth to our grandson 5 days ago, he was 24 weeks 4 days in the womb. She was luckily found a bed and an neo-natal ICU for the baby. My new grandson is 1lb 1oz tiny. My daughter has requested no visitors to meet the baby due to the high risk of infection to the baby.I have been to see her once as she doesn't want a lot of visitors again I fully support her decision to protect the baby as much as possible.
My daughter is sending photos and videos daily.
I feel so helpless and my heart aches for them all.
Here's the problem we have booked a 10 day break about 1hr 30 mins from home, my daughter wants us to go,telling us that if baby takes a turn for the worse she will let my husband and I know. We desperately need a break my health has been very poor this year. My head tells me to go and come back if needed,my heart tells me to stay at home closer to the hospital . Any advice would be welcome, but please keep it nice, I'm struggling as it us

KVW27 Sun 15-Sept-24 07:06:00

I rarely reply to posts on Gransnet but I really wanted to respond to yours Mandy. I apologise for taking 4 days but I must say that I’m very glad you’ve decided to go away and that is the advice I would have given. My heart goes out to you and your family. Our first child was born in 1985 when I was only 26 weeks pregnant with him. He only lived for half an hour but then he was 2 weeks below legal viability. Most babies born at his gestation then did not survive then but how things have changed in nearly 40 years. In 2018 our first grandchild was born at 30 weeks due to a placental abruption. Both he and my daughter very nearly didn’t survive and his 6 week NICU stay was a real rollercoaster ride. Ultimately though he is thriving and has just started Year 2 at school. I found it extremely hard but did my best to support my daughter and her husband. Before my daughter had another baby she received counselling and was assured that it was very unlikely to happen again. While pregnant with her 2nd child she was given a 7% chance of having another premature baby and discharged from the early labour prevention clinic at 23 weeks. Then her waters broke, only a trickle at 27 weeks and she was admitted to hospital. At 29 weeks they could no longer prevent labour and her 2nd child was born. He fortunately had a very straightforward NICU stay and came home over a month before his due date. He too is thriving and loving nursery. He was born in April 2021 when there were still Covid restrictions so we couldn’t meet him until he was discharged. Our support was looking after his older brother virtually 24/7 some of the time. I know my grandsons weren’t as early or as small as your little one (both just over 3 lbs) but I understand your anxiety and feeling of helplessness. There is a wonderful charity for premature babies and their families and I think it would be worth you contacting them. They had a presence in the NICU our grandsons were in and they were marvellously supportive. Please keep us posted on how everything is going OP and I and many others I’m sure will be thinking of you all and praying/rooting for your precious tiny grandson ❤️

Ashcombe Sun 15-Sept-24 07:36:32

This could be the charity you mean, KVW27

www.bliss.org.uk/

It was formed shortly after my long awaited daughter arrived (our eldest is adopted) and needed special care but she wasn’t premature but large at 10lbs 1oz so a difficult delivery. I was quite involved with fundraising for Bliss for many years.

My heart goes out to Mandy45 and the parents and little one. 💐✝️💐

Luckygirl3 Sun 15-Sept-24 08:04:29

You can still support your DD as now from a little further away. Hoping for progress with the little one.

KVW27 Sun 15-Sept-24 15:46:33

Yes Ashcombe I meant to say its Bliss and they support sick and premature babies and their families. ❤️

pinkprincess Sun 15-Sept-24 21:20:47

I know how you must feel about going away just now, you do not know to stay at home or not, everyone is different in this situation.
One of my granddaughters was at 30 weeks not as early as your little one but a worrying time still.She was in hospital for 5 weeks and is now 28 years old so days seem so long ago now!
My father and his twin sister were premature born at home in 1918.My grandmother was told neither of them would see the next day. In those days it was prayers alone for very small babies. The priest came to the house to baptise them, and they did see the next day and many more afterwards.Both married and brought up families before dying( my father at 72 my aunt at 82). I cannot ever remember either of them having any illness before they hit old age. My mother said my dad could go out in the snow wearing only a thick jumper and never suffer.
There premature babies surprise all the time.

pinkprincess Sun 15-Sept-24 21:22:20

Sorry for typos and missing words I am getting tired!

LJP1 Mon 16-Sept-24 18:00:12

Go. Your grandson has every chance of growing up to live a normal life - though he may need glasses. There are worse things to look forward to! Enjoy looking forward to meeting him in the near future.

Greengage Tue 17-Sept-24 18:51:54

Only just seen this post, but thought I would add to it. My son was born 40 years ago at 25 weeks weighing just 1lb 13oz. He spent 4 months in hospital and was 5lbs 4oz when he finally came home.
Definitely enjoy your break away while your grandchild is being well cared for in hospital. You can be of great help over the years to come once he is home.
Wishing you and your family many happy years to come.

Mandy45 Sat 21-Sept-24 13:19:02

I thought I'd update everyone ,thank you for your kind messages. We went away but we're called back home after 2 days away
My heart is breaking as I write this. My grandson caught an infection which caused major complications, and at 11 days old he died in his father's arms.

MissAdventure Sat 21-Sept-24 13:22:53

Oh I am so, so sorry to read that.
My condolences to all of you.
How very sad x

Indigo8 Sat 21-Sept-24 13:25:45

I am so sorry to hear your news. I am sure you must all be feeling devastated. My heart goes out to you.[thanks}

Indigo8 Sat 21-Sept-24 13:27:25

Sorrythanks

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 21-Sept-24 13:30:06

I’ve just seen your news, Mandy. I am so very sorry. 🌹

RosiesMaw2 Sat 21-Sept-24 13:41:09

I am so very sorry to hear your heart-breaking news. Every sympathy to the young couple and to you the grandparents ❤ ♥

Calipso Sat 21-Sept-24 13:47:50

Mandy45

I thought I'd update everyone ,thank you for your kind messages. We went away but we're called back home after 2 days away
My heart is breaking as I write this. My grandson caught an infection which caused major complications, and at 11 days old he died in his father's arms.

My heart goes out to you and your family in your grief flowers

vintage1950 Sat 21-Sept-24 13:49:10

flowers flowers Mandy45 and the poor baby's parents at this very sad time.

Norah Sat 21-Sept-24 13:51:22

I'm sad to read your devastating news. Sympathies. flowers

tanith Sat 21-Sept-24 14:01:23

How very sad my consolences to you and your family. 🌹

Katyj Sat 21-Sept-24 14:32:30

So sorry for you and your family. Take care ❤️

Marilla Sat 21-Sept-24 14:57:37

Your devastating news has taken my breath away. I am so sorry to read about your little grandson. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Is it too intrusive to ask what name was given to your grandson?

Witzend Sat 21-Sept-24 15:01:37

I’m so terribly sorry, Mandy45. 💐

Mandy45 Sat 21-Sept-24 15:04:44

My grandsons name is Toby Jude

Luckygirl3 Sat 21-Sept-24 15:57:38

So sad. I am really sorry to hear this devastating news.

Grannybags Sat 21-Sept-24 16:02:15

So sorry to hear your sad news. Condolences to you and your family flowers

lixy Sat 21-Sept-24 16:06:50

Oh, so sorry to read your news.
Please don’t feel guilty about going away.
Will be thinking of you and your family.