Premature Grandson

I would go Mandy45, you must feel pretty powerless and it may help to take your mind off what is happening. He's likely to be in hospital for a long time and you may be able to help more at a later stage.

Do go on your holiday - you're not far from home and the break will do you the world of good. Then come home energised, rejuvenated and better placed to support your daughter. Oh, and congratulations on the new arrival.

Premature babies do very well nowadays. Please have faith in the hospital. Go and try to enjoy your break. Worrying won't help, though hard not too I'm sure. Wishing your daughter and grandson all the best. X

I agree with Bluebell - go! Of course they'll be constantly on your mind but try to enjoy. I know of four babies born at under 2lb. All grown up now, healthy, strapping six footers. And hospitals are far better equipped these days, despite the state of the NHS.

Of course you should go. Obviously your daughter is as caring as you, and she knows that you need this break.
All my good wishes for your grandson.xx

So sorry for this very great worry, but the care of premature babies is so good today that I hope and trust to hear that you will soon be rejoicing over a healthy bouncing boy.

DO go away as planned. You need the break, and your daughter wants you to take it and is keeping you up to date with developments.

My nephew was born at the start of my sister's sixth month when the placenta loosened over forty years ago - it was touch and go to start with, but since leaving the maternity unit he has never had any health issues and by the age of 16 was six foot and broad shouldered. I myself weighed 3 lbs at birth in 1951, arriving two months early and have too had no serious health issues.

So with all that can be done today for permature babies, it seems likely this little boy will soon be fit and well.

Do let us know how he does, and your daughter too, of course.

This is so hard for you and my heart goes out to you. Go away and enjoy the break if you can. I know with my first child (who was six weeks prem and poorly) I was absolutely distraught and I did not WANT the burden of my mother's distress, to add to my own. Emotions are so complex. Blessings to all of you.

I'm a doula and my experience with parents of very premature babies suggest to me that the real time for support from grandparents isn't right now but will most probably start a few weeks from now when your little one goes home. That's when they will need lots of help from you in running their household, cooking, shopping, cleaning and ensuring they can be 100% focussed on their baby.

My eldest daughter was born at 27 weeks in 1978, almost the dark ages in premature baby care! She was very determined from her first breath!! She was tube fed until within a couple of days she started to suck her thumb so she was given a bottle and from then on her determination to survive was amazing, she only spent 5 weeks in hospital, came home and just went from strength to strength, even cutting her first tooth at 3 months! She is now a 5’ 9’ very healthy and determined 46 year old with 2 children and living an extremely busy life. Her only drawback is she is always in a hurry! 😉🤗 her paediatrician said this often happens with prem babies!

Do go on your break and build yourself up ready to be a healthy mum and grandma able to give your family as much love, help and support you can.

I pray all goes well for your little grandson and he soon gets to be strong and healthy with the help of the highly trained people in your neonatal unit!!

Congratulations and enjoy your cuddles when you come home!!

My granddaughter was a 26 weeker ,it is a very worrying time. She is now a 19 year old uni student, very bright and she is the only one in the whole extended family who has never had Covid. Go on your break love - it is not far away if you are needed and if they are like they were here they will be very fussy about visitors to the youngster. The less visitors, the less chance of infection putting it bluntly.

Go - you both need the break and it is not that far to travel back if necessary. I faced a similar dilemma shortly before my mother's death. The Consultant advised me not to change my plans so I'm giving you the same advice. Try and relax as you need your health and strength for grandpa renting! I hope all goes well with the new baby, your daughter and yourselves.

Go , she agrees and you aren't far. You will be able to ring or message every day.
Come back rejuvenated ready to help with meals. At that gestation he is unlike to be home for quite a few weeks.

go and have your break being away will give you space to take everything in, my brothers grandson was born at 25 wks he is now eleven does judo loves surfing happy and healthy love to everyone and your daughter will need a happy healthy mum/ nanny God bless x

My heart goes out to you. I was the mother of premmie twins also. Not as small as yours, but so delicate. Their dad could fit DS's head in the crook of his elbow - same DS is now a 6'2" fireman. Take the break, recharge the batteries and get ready for Granny Duty which will come soon enough. Hugs

Its the gestation thats the main problem not so much the weight, my two sons were 28 & 29 wks weighing 950 grams & 900 grams.Both are now grown up, normal average weights & heights, a few health problems but so lucky to be here.A lady in hosp same time as me with the elder one had her son at nearly 26 weeks- weighing about 800 grams i think, he too is all grown up now, big & strong.We also have had a few other prem babies in our family, doing well now.So try not to worry too much, by overthinking what might or might not happen.Just be guided by your daughter, & the drs, and take your holiday.An hour & a half really isnt that far- weve lived that far away from a lot of the family for last 16yrs.weve still been there when needed.

I actually can’t understand your hesitation about going such a short distance away . Some people live much further away from their families than that and travel very regularly for contact.
Your daughter is being well looked after as is the baby, what could you do anyway at this stage ?
I’m sure you will be needed and much more useful further along when hopefully they are both home but will still need a lot of help.

Dear Mandy. I'm so glad you've decided to go. Staying at home wouldn't help - you can do nothing at the moment, except pray, brood and worry. My great-grandson was born at 25 weeks and was in the Special Care Baby Unit for almost 5 months. He had surgery on his bowels and a heart valve plus monitoring of various functions. I saw him a few minutes after he was born and frankly didn't think he would survive. The day before his heart surgery, I had to drive to Manchester for a residential meeting for work. I told my granddaughter "My body is going to Manchester but my heart is here with you". Let this be true for you on your getaway.

He was born a few weeks before the first lock down so no visitors other than mum for quite some time. I held him for the first time in mid-August - a very special birthday present!

He started school this week - a delightful 4-year-old, physically perfect, as bright as a button and you would never know what a traumatic start to life he's had.

The staff were wonderful - as I'm sure will be those looking after your little grandson. And what they can do medically and surgically is quite remarkable - I will never forget how much we owe to those wonderful, skilful, dedicated people. And also just to say that my granddaughter, who was very young, proved remarkably strong and positive and dealt with everything admirably. I'm sure her strength also contributed to the progress her little son made - mother's instinct is very powerful and this will likely be true in your case.

So hold your little man in your heart and mind but be kind to yourself too. I don't pray, but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and hope you are as fortunate as we were. Xx

Go. Your daughter and grandson are in the right place and will be there for some time and you won't be far away. Our 4 year old granddaughter was born 3 months early and they were in the baby unit for weeks during the pandemic. She's just started school this week even though she shouldn't have been 4 until October 6 and she is just fine. Good luck to you and yours

Take the break. My twins were prem and my parents left for a six week trip around the USA the day before they unexpectedly arrived. We were all looked after so well and mum and dad really couldn’t have done anything to help. I appreciated them later when the babies were home. Best of luck.

What a worrying time for you all.
It’s good to read that you’ve decided to go.
Every good wish.

Good decision Mandy45

As others have said, you need to take care of yourself so that you will be able to help out when the time comes.

I feel for you, as I remember the shock of seeing our tiny GS in the special unit. Almost five years on and he has just started school. Tall for his age, full of confidence and absolutely full of energy!

I hope you and your family have the same positive outcome.

Thank you all for your kind messages, we have decided to go away, as it's not too far away if we need to come home in an emergency, and my daughter wants limited/no visitors at the moment.

I hope that you take the advice here, Mandy, and take your break. Support can be via loving text messages and you will return home ready to offer any help needed. There's, potentially, a long road ahead for you and yours so a bit of R&R now seems a good idea.
Congratulations on your new grandson and lots of good wishes that he makes good progress and comes home soon.

My boy was in special care for 10 weeks and came home nearly two weeks before he was due.He,s the 36Year old father of three lovely girls.Medicine has moved on since then and I,m sure your wee one will have the best of care and come home as a happy healthy baby.The baby,s mother and father will be living their worst nightmare,it was the worst time of my life,have your break and come back ready to give the support they will without doubt need.I wish you all the best for this stressful time and for a happy future.

Like everybody else I would say Go. Get the break you need - and if you really can’t settle there by all means come home again.
You can be back in less than two hours but it does sound as if you need a break.
When your lovely little man is home with his Mummy and Daddy you will have plenty to do.
A worrying time but congratulations on your precious tiny miracle