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Osteoarthritis in hips - feel guilty about surgery

(47 Posts)
ftm420 Sun 15-Sept-24 18:12:50

Recently diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both hips. Moderate to advanced but left is worse. I went private for an X-ray as I'd been fobbed off twice by my GP [who actually sent me to the surgery's physiotherapist, who said I had a tight muscle, gave me some stretches to do and sent me away].

Just as well, as the X-ray showed cartilage damage so I'm running [yes, I'm one of those regular runners who just puts up with the pain] bone on bone and have bone cysts [not sure what they are].

I have hip surgery lined up next month, as DH has private health cover with work and, as we are both 60 and he isn't sure of his job stability, we have elected to get the surgery done now 'while we can'.

I am feeling a bit guilty though. I can still run 3-5K [which is much less than I used to do as recently as last year, when I could do 10K fairly easily]. However, I do then have to take pretty strong painkillers when I go to bed. Otherwise the pain keeps me awake. I also have to put up with DH and my DS's telling me to just not run. Walking is OK until I get to about half an hour, when the pain kicks in anyway. I do go to the gym sometimes [avoiding the treadmill] but then I pay for it later.

I have to stretch when I get up from my office chair to make a cuppa and then shuffle to the loo! Colleagues have noticed!

My consultant seems pretty confident that he can have me back running within 3-6 months, so I'm OK with that.

Should I feel guilty as I'm effectively jumping the queue, or just cancel it and put up for a few more years, with the risk of more damage to my joints?

NanaTuesday Mon 30-Sept-24 08:12:40

M0nica
I found your diagnosis interesting as my DH has recently had treatment for Carpal Tunnel . Thing is, originally complted an online request for GP appointment together with a photo .
That resulted in not getting a GP appointment but but sent to a local private hospital . It turned out that they operated on his hand for CT but his original request was for ‘ vikings disease’ !
Personally ,I had a steroid injection for the same thing a few years back , it didn’t work & tbh I can’t be bothered to be going through the system again . Prior to having that injection I had to go through a series of tests ( electrical) to assess the damage . Ironically I never did get a repeat appointment to see if it worked !
My DH had no pre treatment test like mine . Very weird .

LaCrepescule Wed 18-Sept-24 06:10:39

Please don’t feel guilty, I would definitely do the same. I had bunion surgery years ago when I had private health cover and it didn’t occur to me to feel guilty! You’re freeing up NHS resources too.
I’m having surgery on the other foot on the NHS soon and had to wait two years for it.

PamQS Wed 18-Sept-24 03:59:38

No, you should not feel guilty. That won’t do any good, either to you or the people stuck in queues for hip surgery.

I have osteoarthritis in my hip, and if I was entitled to a private operation, I wouldn’t hesitate. It is such a pain - literally as well as metaphorically! It can take me ages to stand up if I’ve been sitting for a while, I’d be really happy if I could stand up without thinking about it, as I used to do.

Mt61 Tue 17-Sept-24 21:35:47

Absolutely get it done if you have insurance. Mine is bone on bone- pre-op in November, hopefully will get mine done soon as I’ve been struggling to walk for last four years

Ziplok Mon 16-Sept-24 20:34:02

Do not feel guilty in the slightest. Go for it. Your DH pays for that private health cover, so use it whilst you can. Wishing you well .

MRGUDER Mon 16-Sept-24 20:15:12

FTM420 - definitely go for it.

If it's any help my 70 year old Aunt recently had her second hip replacement and it was an anterior hip replacement. Says her recovery has been so quick and painless compared to her other hip. After just 2 weeks she no longer needs even 1 crutch.
Out of a group of 10 at her physios, she and 1 other person had anterior replacement and they are both without crutches whereas 8 others having existing hip replacement are still on 2 crutches.

Good Luck!

Calipso Mon 16-Sept-24 20:00:24

Jess20

We did the same, got everything done just before my partner retired as he had private insurance through work. The hip replacement surgeon he chose was a specialist in sports injuries and said he far rather operate in a fit chap in his 60s who would use the new joint to run and cycle etc than an elderly person who would be able to walk a few yards further but spent most of their time sitting down doing nothing. Also, the sooner you get it done the less you mess up the rest of your joints compensating and you are far fitter going into surgery and recovering.

Absolutely agree Jess20

ftm420 I would suggest you take the advice of your surgeon about your lifestyle after surgery. Some of the advice on here is very outdated. My own hip surgery was an absolute game changer for me.

Lucyd Mon 16-Sept-24 19:41:17

Go ahead and get it done. You are fortunate to be able to have private health insurance and will be taking pressure off the NHS. I had my hip replaced last year ( and due to get my knee done next year) both on the NHS. By the time I had my hip op done I was in a considerable amount of pain but wouldn't have had a private operation as that involved travelling almost 90 miles whereas the NHS op was carried out less than 5 miles from home. Please do go easy on the running. A hip op is a big operation and you certainly shouldn't be running now if you have bone on bone. Best of luck.

Willow68 Mon 16-Sept-24 19:34:50

If you don’t get it done, in a few years you’ll be needing it, then will be on nhs so no guilt you should be glad. You’re saving a nhs place for a person in the future. Also you get taxed for having private health, so you are paying for it in other ways. Not like
It’s free Good luck

ginny Mon 16-Sept-24 18:43:35

No reason to feel guilty
I had a hip replacement last October which we pai d for. Our money our choice and I would still be waiting on the NHS.
I can’t believe you can still run at all, let alone so far. Mine was bone on bone and I could hardly bear to walk !

durstonc Mon 16-Sept-24 18:30:32

Go for it. I’m almost 3 years on NHS waiting list for my hip replacement. I’ve just had my pre op assessment, but told that could be any time in the next year for the op. If I was in your situation I wouldn’t think twice about having it done privately. Best wishes x

Julest Mon 16-Sept-24 17:27:37

Go for it now while you are relatively fit and healthy. It is much worse when you are more debilitated with greater damage, potential loss of muscle mass, even the chance of referred issues in other parts of your body as you try to compensate for the hip pain. I had a hip replacement at 57 due to long term childhood issues and I was told by my consultant that the longer I left it the more complex the surgery would be and the less likelihood of full recovery. Preventative health is cheaper in the long term than ongoing treatment for chronic conditions. You are definitely not doing anything to feel guilty about. We have to take care of our body and our health.

westendgirl Mon 16-Sept-24 16:56:35

Please go and get it done with no worries.

Retired65 Mon 16-Sept-24 16:49:41

Don't feel guilty, get it done. I have chronic osteoarthritis in my right hip which is getting worst. I have attended a 'Escape Pain' course through the NHS. I am trying to make an appointment to see a doctor to get a referral to see a consultant. No appointments available to see a doctor at the moment! I can only take paracetamol as I am on blood pressure tablets. I have tried various gels but haven't found anything that works.

Lahlah65 Mon 16-Sept-24 15:11:18

Private medical insurance is a profit making business. Your DH’s employer provides this as it makes good business sense for them to get their staff treated and back to work quickly and efficiently. DH will be being taxed on this benefit and may also be making additional payments towards it through his salary. The companies that provide the insurance and the health providers create jobs and contribute to the UK economy. Of course, your household is also contributing to the NHS through taxation. Although you currently have some mobility, this condition will deteriorate and you’ll need the surgery eventually. There is no virtue in delaying it until you can’t walk/run. And absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

Jess20 Mon 16-Sept-24 14:53:58

We did the same, got everything done just before my partner retired as he had private insurance through work. The hip replacement surgeon he chose was a specialist in sports injuries and said he far rather operate in a fit chap in his 60s who would use the new joint to run and cycle etc than an elderly person who would be able to walk a few yards further but spent most of their time sitting down doing nothing. Also, the sooner you get it done the less you mess up the rest of your joints compensating and you are far fitter going into surgery and recovering.

Cateq Mon 16-Sept-24 14:13:20

Sorry should say without any aids

cc Mon 16-Sept-24 14:12:59

You have nothing to feel guilty about, you will simply be reducting the NHS waiting list and not taking up a bed or operating theatre time.

Cateq Mon 16-Sept-24 14:12:56

I had my hip replacement last October and was back walking with aids by the end of November. To say the difference is like night and day and quality of life without strong painkillers is much better so have your op and get back your life as soon as possible

DeeAitch56 Mon 16-Sept-24 14:12:46

Go for it, your husband gets free medical cover as part of his job, you will not be stopping or queue jumping anyone waiting on the nhs list in fact you will be helping people on the list by not being on it

knspol Mon 16-Sept-24 13:59:05

I used to feel guilty about private health care until a consultant told me I was leaving an NHS space for someone else. Go for it while you can!

grandtanteJE65 Mon 16-Sept-24 13:23:21

Please stop feeling guilty. The sooner this is treated, the better, and as you and your husband agree it should be done now, there is really no need for guilt.

Thinking about the following points may help you over your guilt:

Painkillers only work for a relatively short space of time.

Most are addictive

None should be taken if you have to drive or operate machinery

Like the rest of us, you are not getting younger, so putting off an operation will probably result in a longer recovery time, the older you are when it is done.

Putting it off will certainly result in you being able to do less of the things you want to, being in almost constant pain, which is not good either physically or mentally,

Ask the surgeon about the bone cysts - as far as I know they tend to go away again, but you cannot always rely on the internet as a source of medical information.

Remember that astonishingly good results are normal for the kind of surgery you are contemplating, In your place, I would certainly go for it now. Good luck.

Mikkima Mon 16-Sept-24 13:02:56

I feel your pain. I too am feeling guilty about using my DH's work insurance before he retires, to hopefully get a new knee. After being a proud NHS worker for over 20yrs I never thought I would go down this route. However I now have 2 DGC who deserve to have a Grandma who is as fit as possible. Im the one who should help them off the floor, not vice versa. blush I say go ahead OP and maybe we can compare notes later. Just dont screw up the new joint with too much running. Find a new exercise

Norah Mon 16-Sept-24 12:57:19

New hips need physio and gentle walking.

My husband was 6 months off golf - a relatively gentle activity. Both of us were many months off skiing after new knees. I'd not be running.

fluttERBY123 Mon 16-Sept-24 12:26:11

Running again in 3 - 6 months after having both hips replaced? A replacement is said to.last 10 years and you are advised not to run at all as it will last even less. Full recovery is said to take a year and a lot of physiotherapy. Had both mine done recently. Go for it but I wouldn't be so gung ho about the running.