Less well known signs and symptoms of dementia?

watermeadow

I’m pretty old and have older friends but I don’t know anyone with dementia. This thread has been very informative, I do wish dementia was talked about more openly so we all knew more about it.

You are lucky. I know entirely too much by experience.

I guess all of us older people, especially those who live alone, should make details of our family available so that friends can contact them if needed.
I have a friend I am concerned about, but would not know who to contact. She is ok at the moment but one day might not be. And anything can happen to any of us- a fall, a stroke, which can change everything.

I’m pretty old and have older friends but I don’t know anyone with dementia. This thread has been very informative, I do wish dementia was talked about more openly so we all knew more about it.

OP I wonder whether you would consider breaking up your text into paragraphs when posting a long and quite serious post like this.

I find these long continuous screeds, and you are not the only one. unreadable. even when the subject, as in this case, is of interest to me.

An early sign for my Mum's Alzheimer's, though I didn't make the connection until much later, was that she no longer had the concentration to read a book.
On one holiday she bought a magazine at the airport, then just sat turning the pages without actually reading anything.

My Dad has vascular dementia and his short-term memory has gone. He says himself he can't remember anything five minutes after I've told him. It doesn't bother him though!
His long-term memory is very detailed still. He's told us about all sorts of incidences from his childhood, one of being evacuated at the age of 8 with his army family by ship from India, then through France from Marseille by train, then arriving unannounced on a relative's doorstep in England at night.
We'd taken him to see the film about Sir Nicholas Winton and the Kindertransport and that prompted his story, one I'd never heard before.

The fact this lady is functioning at work does not necessarily mean she does not have dementia, ideally she needs a GP appointment, and an assessment . Many people with dementia are given the ok to drive (personally I am not too sure about that , I have considerable dementia experience not a medical qualification) Bring allowed to drive illustrates the complexity of Alzheimer's Disease and other dementia conditions. Do try your best to have a word with her daughter and hopefully she will take the necessary steps .

Sometimes people could remember, for example, athe ingredients for a cake, but then have trouble with the order to put them in, to make the cake.

Dementia is a very very complex condition. It rears its ugly head and yet at other times people function in a usual and expected way. This makes it very difficult to understand. People often live in the moment and are able to chat to family and friends about the weather or their gardens, it is only when you live with someone that you see what is actually happening! I do hope the situation with your friend improves and that she is given support if that is deemed necessary. Memory loss is only a small part of the condition ( and for me it is the easiest to deal with) Lack of judgement and irrational thoughts are far more taxing for a spouse / family than memory loss.

If she functions in her work, I’d say there is nothing to be concerned about.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing - and with my mum, we dismissed many of the early signs of her dementia as just her becoming a 'crabbit auld wummin'. When I look back now, it's obvious that she was in the early stages of dementia, but we genuinely didn't see it as that at the time. Be there for your friend, even by phone - and if you are genuinely concerned, contact a relative and let them know of your worries.

Thank you all. She has had depression in the past, I think the issues with her daughters have contributed to this at times. She does work hard and try her best , like so many older people. I’m doing my best to make her feel she has a friend but not irritate her (so far touch wood I think she has appreciated that I care).

I volunteer for AgeUk in their dementia service helping on Carer Learning courses. I think what we would suggest is that contact the relatives you have contact with and suggest they express your/their concerns to the person's gp.

Obviously, the gp won't discuss any information with the caller but should listen to their concerns.

Hopefully the gp will find a way of checking this out by examining the patient.

Or, if you have immediate concerns, contact adult social care.

Or ring the Admiral Nurse help line.

The falls could be down to many reasons and she really should have these investigated, but if she won't that's her prerogative. There are many different forms of dementia with a vast array of symptoms. If she's still coping at work it doesn't sound like she's vulnerable, and there's nothing really you or her family can do apart from encourage her to see the doctor about the falls, but given her mood you may all alienate her more.

I think she sounds in pretty good shape and that you could actually stand back a bit rather than look to do more. It sounds as though her daughters need to build bridges back to her.

What resonated with me (a lot of experience with DM and FiL) was your saying that one minute she’s complaining that her children are only after her money, the next they’re flavour of the month. However I wouldn’t think this is necessarily at all indicative.

The most ‘outstanding’ early signs in our family cases were serious short term memory loss, and (in formerly fastidious people) wearing grubby clothes and being reluctant to change them, plus failing to bath/shower/shave/wash hair, and being extremely reluctant or decidedly stroppy if reminded.

It could be that her overall mental health isn't good, or perhaps she is just curmudgeonly as she's ageing, or maybe other things, including dementia.

Thanks Fleurpepper, I’m thinking at least me ringing her once a day is better then no social contact at all. She does walk quite a lot of at least she did up to a few weeks ago when I last saw her.

Thanks Shelflife. You’re right, as I am not a relative I can only do so much. I will look in the website. Messaged the daughter recently and she made a fleeting visit to my friend.

Social isolation is a well known factor. And so is lack of physical actitivty, not just mental stimulation.

You are in a difficult situation as you are not a relative. I have worked on a voluntary basis for the Alzheimer's society for many years and have gleaned experience. It may be dementia but there may be other reasons why her behaviour has changed. My DH was diognosed with Alzheimer's disease last March and his behaviour has changed. He back tracks on decisions we have made and is in absolute denial about arrangements we had made and nothing will make him change his mind .It complicates our every day life! but this is not about me !
If you Google Alzheimer's Society . there is help/ advise there , scroll down and there is a phone number. Are you in a position to speak to her daughter? Good luck , keep us posted.

keepingquiet thankyou, yes I have done that once before when she had a fall. They would get involved if it was something big.

Are you in any contact with her family? I am Facebook friends with my friend's daughters. If anything worries me I sent them a quick message and they always get back to me.

Sorry, didn’t make this clear, does anyone have any thoughts on this and have they any experience of someone else they have been concerned about for similar reasons?