Black Dog 24

EllieAnne So sorry you've been so upset by your husband. It's not fair that you should have to put up with bad behaviour ( whatever it was) and not right that you should take it. I hope you're feeling a bit better today and perhaps you might feel strong enough to say something to him about how upset you are. Hug coming your way.
Scaredycat Your little cottages reminded me of the one my DH made and he put a light inside it. I bought somenice tea- lights today from a garden centre. I had a friend once who said she loved her ' pools of light' in the room. I put arms onto my doll today. ( Since she now has facial features she's become a 'being' and I knew she wanted arms without delay). Just her dress to do now.
HVDY Good old Prosseco- so glad it helped you sleep. That breathlessness sounds awful - do you think it's your Asthma still? If the inhaler helped they should prescribe another- not fair for you ro be left like that. Ahh your Jaffa loves you as much as you do him. Glad your DH is doing great with the machine thing. Losing 3 stone won't be easy though.My doll is knitted - though sort of rag- doll - ish.
Doodle Hope you enjoyed the panto. You must have been so tired afterwards so hope you managed to sleep. It's bitterly cold here . We went to a garden centre ,had a coffee and sandwich, and bought a solar balloon light. My DH loved it. His arm still painful , as usual, but distraction does help. He shouldnt have to get used to it , though so many are the same with all the waiting.
LucyD Walks can feel good once you're all wrapped up and actually out there- it's the motivation that I'm short of when it's so cold. Actually it's not the cold so much but the wind I hate. Can be pretty raw on the North East coast. Glad your caravan is feeling cosier in the sun.
Elvera1 Sometimes a lie-in is what you need, especially with interrupted sleep. I often seem to wake during the night with one thing or another. Worries don't help do they? Well done you for the driving in the snow. There's a hugely steep bank out of our village ( lots of hills here) and I dread it in the snow and ice. Hope they get out and grit the roads where you are.
Wyllow Good your tum is more comfortable. Keep up the movicol and your other stuff. Have you thought about phoning your Doc sis today? I'm sure she'd love to hear from you.
So nice that you can say how it is here- I feel I can be honest too. A sign of how much we trust each other. Hope you managed to get your shop in today.
How lovely that you know the area from your childhood. Robin-Hood's Bay and Runswick Bay are so beautiful.

Another fairly good day - just tarnished by the aches everywhere. Every step hurts but I know it's no good me moaning. Hope everyone keeping warm.

Sorry if I've not addressed everyone but thinking of you all and hoping you're ok.
Wishing a peaceful night for all. X

Elveral glad your snow has gone. I hate driving in ice or snow. How are your girls coping at school. Do you think it helps them being there? Do you work every day?
HVDY so pleased your DH has had good results from the CPAP machine. Is he open to the idea of a diet or not so keen.
Scaredycat I love the sound of your little cottages with lights in. I love that sort of thing. Lights shining out of windows,
Hope you are snug and warm inside. I haven’t been out today. Had my last counselling session. Counsellor thinks I’m doing well (or as well as could be expected). I like her. She doesn’t come up with platitudes or sympathy. She just tells it like it is.
The grief will always be there and there are no easy ways to come to terms with it and it will take a long time.
lucyd glad you’re cosy in your caravan. Wish I could have joined you on your beach walk. I too cope when I have structure to my days. How lovely to have your little granddaughter with you. Does she like the beach.
Wyllow glad you managed to clear off the car and have a shower, that’s a positive. I too wish you could start enjoying life more.
Sweetpeasue how are you. I’m worried about you and your DH. All this stress is too much for you. Hope you get some answers soon.
I’ve been busy today doing some sewing. Ordered a new heart for my bracelet but the man said he will ask them to send it to me free as it came unhooked, I thought that was so kind.
Take care all . Xx

Good afternoon ladies
Hope you are all as ok as you can be, yesterday I actually had a lie in until 10.00 ! I haven’t slept this long since I can’t remember when. Felt so much better for it.
Stayed in and it was nice not to go out.
Unfortunately last night I couldn’t get to sleep, must have been 1.30 before I got to sleep, and I had to be up early today as school starts again. I’m back at the office and it was good to get out - but the drive there was horrendous with snow coming down and it was so nerve wracking. Anyway I did it and it’s all gone now.
We’ve got 2 cats too, and they’re lovely, when they’re not scratching everything! We’ve had them about 6 years and they’re lovely, are really sweet.
Lucyd I love a walk on the beach but don’t live anywhere near one unfortunately.
Hope you all manage to have a peaceful evening. X

LucyD A walk on the beach sounds great. I expect the children are all back at school (they all went back today here). Hope your caravan stays warm and cosy. I've had cats for 44 years (before having our sons) and Jaffa was a stray who found us a few months ago. He's had a lot of health problems (he's FIV so we wouldn't easily be able to get another cat for fear of it being passed on - through saliva).

ScaredyCat I've got some pottery cottage ornaments but they're battery-operated. Pretty, though. My brother is very difficult. His own worst enemy.

DH has now been discharged from hospital about his sleep apnoea - they're very pleased with the results he's been having and want him to continue with the machine - and lose some weight. He's about 3st overweight and it's all on his stomach. Hope ALL BDers, whether regulars or visitors, have a relaxing evening x

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- I,ve only been to,Whitby once but I loved,it. The NE coastline is beautiful and has such lovely beaches. I,m glad you have such a lovely area to live in.
Sometimes lazy days are just what we need. I make myself have them as I know I have to and can’t do as much anyway. But my old self itches to be out and doing like I used to.
I,d love to see the little dolls face when she’s finished..
EllieAnne- it seems to me you have nothing to lose by confronting your DH . Whatever he’s done has obviously really,upset you. While he gets away with this unpleasant behaviour nothing will change.
Doodle- Glad you enjoyed the Panto- I loved taking my children when they were little. Hopefully you had a good sleep afterwards.
Wyllow- yes I light candles or my little pottery cottages every day when the evenings are dark. I love the little cottages lit from the inside. I like to think there are little people in them- Oh Dear!!!
You deserve honesty from us- we all wish so much to have our Old Wyllow back. Chase that Ostrich away.
Good to have powdery snow much easier to sweep - hope you were able to get out to shop today.Maybe get some nice shower smellies. Hope you’re not so reluctant to treat yourself now- you deserve so much more from life.
HVDY- my Sister adores cats and they her. Just like you and yours. Dear Jaffa sleeping so close.
Prosecco did the trick then- I used to love it. It’s all our girls favourite too.
That shortness of breath is debilitating isn’t it. It’s pants not being able to do what we used to.😩 Texting is such a good way to,keep in touch - so glad we have kept up with technology. It makes me a bit cross when people make age an excuse.
Your brother is a one off- a man of few words. Hope SiL is OK and DH gets on well at Hospital.
Lucyd- it sounds cosy in your Van in the sun. So lovely to be able to have a beach walk - one of my favourite things. Love my feet in the water too but I bet it was a bit nippy in the burn.
I agree about the tummy massage for Wyllow- it does help.
You have a busy week ahead- I think we all like having plenty to occupy our minds. Keep warm and toasty tonight.

Take care all and hope the weather hasn’t been too unkind to you.

We escaped the worst of the weather here in sw Scotland - a very light dusting of snow and the roads were fine. Today is beautifully sunny and the caravan has reached 15 degrees without the heating on - warmer than it gets when the heating is on! Went a walk down to the beach today. I was the only person there. Managed to end up with wet feet crossing the burn that crosses the shore!
HVDY2 - Jaffa is a cutey. I have never had a cat, always had dogs until my last one died a couple of years ago. I really would love another one once I move into my new house though.
Doodle- glad you enjoyed the panto. I went to the local parish players one with a friend before Christmas - it was hilarious. I take my hat off to those who put on these amateur shows.
Wyllow3 - I am sure you have tried this but a physio once recommended massaging my tummy which I found helped ( can't remember whether it was clockwise or anticlockwise but it had to be in one direction).
Am working tomorrow, have my toddler grand daughter on Wednesday then back to work for Thurs, Fri and Sat so my week ahead has some structure which is good as I cope much better when I have something to do. Trying not to stress about the possibility of burst pipes ( joys of living in a static caravan!) and keeping the heating on overnight so the van stays around 14 degrees.
Hope you are all keeping warm.

ScaredCat Your sister is obviously good with cats. I hope he gets on well with the ones she's got (although having him neutered will help).

SweetpeaSue I had quite a lot of Prosecco last night so slept better. Jaffa stayed about a foot away from my face (the whole bed to sleep on yet chooses that place to sleep). The doll you've been doing sounds nice. Is it a ragdoll? Whitby and the surrounding areas are so lovely. A beautiful part of the country. Glad you and your husband had a better day.

EllieAnne In what way was your husband horrible? (Or don't you want to say). It's perhaps just as well you didn't go, not with some of the roads being so bad. Might you visit your daughter when the weather is better?

Doodle Glad you enjoyed the panto. Hope you slept well.

Wyllow3 Hope you have a decent day today and get the shopping ok. Buy yourself something nice, if you can.

I was so short of breath yesterday just doing things at home (mopping, tidying, nothing strenuous), I didn't go out. GD1 and I message each other every day, anyway, so we did that a lot. My brother hadn't replied to any texts for a few days (didn't answer when I rang), so I texted asking if he was ok. He simply replied "yes I am"), no asking how we are or anything. He does annoy me. DH has a hospital F2F appointment about his sleep apnoea machine so has gone on the bus. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Night night to BD's not intoday or just reading. xx

I was glad to read about your family time yesterday EllieAnne but so sad and shocked by how your DH has been. I wish You were even able to talk about it with him and you had somewhere to escape to x

Doodle sleep well after the pants visit, see you tomorrow.

Sorry to hear about another bad night, HVDY. I hope the snow doesn’t stop you getting out and about. I hope you feel better soon.

Aw, a nice long chat with sis this morning, Scaredycat Glad the stray has settled in and can join the family soon. Maybe you could put up some non C mas sparkly lights for the winter.

Glad you came in today, Sweetpeasue. I know the coastal area you live in quite well from many holidays childhood and later - lovely coastline. Good to hear today wasn’t too bad for both you and DH. What a relief.. Sounds like you feel reasonably happy with the doll’s face.

Thank you for kind words all. This is probably the space almost honest except for paid workers.
They make sense to my brain but….well ….had 3+ inches of snow last night and I cleared it off my car today as its shopping tomorrow and it was still powdery today to do it..had a shower and did a wash…Im going to have to experiment to get the laxatives balance right. Oh, so weary of being stuck like this.

Ellie Anne you don’t usually say your DH is horrible. He’s obviously upset you a lot. I’m glad you didn’t go to your DD in this weather. Is there a friend you can stay with?
Have you told him you’re so upset with him? Hope you’re ok.

Sorry all I’m too tired to post tonight. I had a good time at the panto but back late. Catch up tomorrow xx

Horrible day today. He was horrible. I wanted to get in the car and go to dd whether she wants me or not but was scared because of the road conditions. One of the roads I go on was closed with snow.
Was almost in tears all afternoon but don’t cry easily now

HVDY The nurse practitioner could well be wrong. You alone know the way your chest feels with Asthma and when you have an infection as you've lived with Asthma so long. Whatever it is I hope today has been a little better but if not you might need to have GP's opinion. I do hope you have a better night tonight.
Your Jaffa looks like a splendid slinky Black Panther laid out on that sofa. Beautiful fur coat.
Doodle The engraving sounds so clever. Oh , taking down the decorations and packing it away for the year - like Wyllow said- must have felt symbolic of leaving DH and the year behind . Your DH is forever with you and close to your side always throughout all the future years and Christmases. I hope you've had some good company at church today. Your neighbour and friend is so kind.
Scaredycat Such moving posts to Doodle and Wyllow. You have a lovely way with words. I brought out my candles too , as soon as the Christmas decorations were gone. I stand some thick pillar candles on a glass stand on our coffee table. Always looks so peaceful on an evening.
EllieAnne We have had a couple of inches of snow here but it's soon melted with all today's rain. Good luck with the dry January but don't punish yourself. You need some treats in your life. I'm nr the coast , just over a half hrs drive up from Whitby.
* Wyllow* Sorry it was a bad day yesterday when you couldn't find motivation. I hope today has been a little better. Sounds like you're so very afraid of being hurt again and so understandable. I couldn't put it any better than Scaredycat's words really. If only you can believe the old Wyllow is still there , just with perhaps a few more wounds , but stronger than ever. Sending a hug. You're not alone here.

Not been a bad day today. Lazy and spent indoors. Took up my doll again and did her features and hair. Been put aside as I was scared of doing the face and getting it wrong. That's one bit over with. Arms need to be sewn on and little extra bits.
DH and myself not too bad today so hoping for a peaceful night and wishing everyone here and those just reading the same. Goodnight all. X

Doodle- hope you,ll enjoy the Panto- it,ll do you good to have a bit of a laugh.
It’s always sad taking down the Decs but much more so when you are thinking of Christmasses past.. Whatever you feel isn’t silly it’s your way of processing all these new feelings and doing things on your own for the first time.
Maybe you could have a little candle light to look cosy- I love little houses with a light in.
Yes DS has cold winters but they were at the beach for New Year. He prefers colder weather. It’s got really mild here today- weird!!
HVDY-I hope the antibiotics are helping clear up whatever is causing your breathing problems. You know your own body though so are probably right in what you are thinking.
I had a long chat with my Sister this morning. The little stray cat has settled in well and much more friendly- she was able to pick him up the other day. But they can’t let him into,the rest of the,house until he’s snipped and chipped!! Her other cat is a little girl. Tuesday is the big day for him.
We took our Decs down today - I love the lights and really miss them. Candles out again now!
Hope you feel a bit more lively,today and can see the girls- that will be cheery.
Wyllow- Good news about the tum- keep it up. You’re right a regular routine would truly help you. Daily meds until you’re sorted - Sorry I,m going to say Movicol again as you can take it every day indefinitely.
Yes it’s going to take courage for you to let people in and open yourself up to life again. But you have that in spades -:you just don’t believe it. I understand how badly you have been hurt and would not wish that on you again. What is worse though- keeping your head in the sand or trying a chat with family or friends who love you. They won’t hurt you like you,ve been hurt - that was so cruel but not everyone is like that.
Love and Loss- so understandable
Love and Life - it’s waiting for you.
Have a good shopping trip tomorrow.
EllieAnne- you,ve had a busy time - hope you enjoyed yourself with your boys.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself over Dry January- one day at a time.

SweetPeaSue,Candy, NannyG4,Whiff,Nadateturbe,Elveral,Lucyd,and anyone I have unintentionally left out hope your Sunday has been kind to you. Take care all

Wyllow3 So sorry you appear to have "lost your way". We want to see the old Wyllow, and she's in there somewhere. Had a bad night and have been awake since 6.45 (still not dressed though)

ElieAnne I'd been watching a programme about how snow and ice are dealt with in Scotland. Glad you're ok. Nice that you had your son and his son stayed with you. You must have enjoyed their company. Good luck with Dry January. I still haven't started my diet. I'm in Nottingham, East Midlands, and we've got about 2 inches of snow on the pavement. We live on a hill and the gritter lorry went along the road last night.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Hvdy we very rarely get snow as too near the sea and in a sheltered part.my sons are inland and sometimes get it.
I had family here yesterday so lots of cooking and som 2 and little gs stayed over so a lot of organising of beds.
Really tired this morning but going to take tree etc down. Had a couple of drinks with dinner yesterday but am now going to try doing dry January. It might not work!
I don’t know where you all live but England and wales look icy. Take care everyone.

You did well getting out for a walk today Scaredycat, Michelin woman 🙂

That was so poignant, Doodle, I really could picture that symbolic packing away, an extra hug.

Sorry you've ben poorly, HVDY, and hope with you that you can see the GD's tomorrow.

So many thoughtful kind words for me but I just seized up doing anything today - dressing gown unwashed. Nice to have empty tum but I have to find some routine. I can't explain really why its so hard to talk to my family or anyone a lot except ostrich Wyllow is trying to avoid the hurt that is waiting there too scary to face. Love and loss.

EllieAnne Have you got snow there yet? Just wondered how you are.

Wyllow3 Glad your tum trouble was resolved yesterday, at least. Your sister would be glad to advise you, I'm sure. Hope you manage to contact her.

ScaredyCat It's been bitterly cold here - I didn't go out, didn't feel up to it, but I'm glad you got out. Lots of dogs wear coats and jumpers, don't they. Good for little dogs or those with very short hair.

Doodle I'm not convinced it's a chest infection (though who am I to disagree with a medically trained professional). I haven't felt ill, had a temperature, or had any phlegm (I've had Bronchitis many times and this doesn't feel like that). We'll see. Packing away Christmas decorations makes the house feel bare. Is that what you feel? It's not silly, anyway. I bet the panto will be good fun tomorrow. Which one is it?

SweetpeaSue You must both be counting the days until your husband's appointment. Everything is such a wait, isn't it?

I've had a lazy day, been very tired because of waking up coughing and wheezing during the night. Hope I'll have more energy tomorrow, I want to see the GDs if possible. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

HVDY glad your DGd is feeling better.
Sorry you’ve got a chest infection hope the antibiotics kick in soon.
Jaffa looks so cosy and comfortable, what a life 😊
Sweetpeasue the engraving is done by scaling down original handwriting and engraving it on a heart or disc or pendant. They do photographs too. I think it is wonderful.
Bet you can’t wait for that vascular appointment. Hope it provides some answers. Sorry your DH has had such pain in his arm again. Hope it can be treated soon.
Wyllow I do hope you go and see a GP about your tum. It’s not good you going on like this. It’s been so cold out today. If you do venture out wrap up warm.
Scaredycat I too do a passable Michelin man impersonation. So padded I can hardly move. I agree the Movicol every day should help.
You son must be chilly if they’ve got snow there,
Ive been out for coffee with friends this afternoon. Got really upset this morning taking down the Christmas decorations. I thought putting them up was bad enough but taking them down was worse, I felt like I was packing DH away again. Silly but I can’t help it.
Panto tomorrow. Hope I can cope ok. Take care all xx

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- Hope you,ve had a decent day. We had a walk this morning but it was freezing and I did my Michelin Man imitation again. DH is rarely cold but even he had a woolly hat on! Thank goodness there’s a Costa on the walk ( on the main road) very busy today. We saw so many dogs with little onesies on- how do they get them on!!!!
So sorry your DH suffers so much with his arm pain . Can he drive OK? Take care both of you.
HVDY- what a sweet photo of Jaffa- love his little pink tongue sticking out. It was a really good day for him when he knocked on your door- for you too!
Doodle- a nice gentle reminder for everyone to have those lovely memories on film . Much easier now with our iPhones.
Hope you,ve had a good day and kept warm
Wyllow- yes ticking off the days. DS sent me a photo today of him and his doggy family on a snowy beach - brrrrr.
I think if you could talk to your Sis she would be more than happy to help you. Her advice would be based on her knowledge and also her care for you so would be worth a try.
I just feel that taking Movicol every day according to the instructions would help- that sounded knowally but several of the BDs have experience of it. See what she says.
You are still persevering so bravely to koko - Old Wyllow is there still.
Sending encouraging hugs.

Keep warm everyone- especially Lucyd.

That was good service at your surgery, HVDY glad you went in….well, I hope the antibiotics work, but you know your body best….but the Jaffa pic made me laugh!

I hope your day was OK for you, Scaedycat. Each day brings it closer x

It was lovely to hear about the bracelets, Doodle. It has been really chilly as you found when you went to the shops. Glad art is starting up and structure back. Good advice about videos.

Aw, Sweetpeasue its so worrying that DH has the pain all the time and you just dont know, the not knowing really is the worst of all things - it must seem a long time till the 21st.

I did get tum moving today with combination of lots of dulcolax last night and lots of milk of magnesia today, so didnt ring GP….so stayed in, close to loo, mood same old same old but I koko. I still should ring docsis to try and get something “regular” going.

Best nights, BD’s. xx

Just popping back in for a quick visit. I am in a bereavement group (not the church one but another one) and several people are very upset because they have no videos of their lost loves. They have nothing with their voices on. It is really upsetting for them so please make sure you have something. It may mean a lot one day to you or your loved ones.

HVDY So lovely 😊

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What a life

Wyllow I hope today you managed to ring Doc sis. as she's a professional in that very organ and I'm sure she would have an understanding of what's going on. Oh I do hope you've had a bit of relief today.
Thankyou for your concern about my DH. x
Scaredycat I've seen that old lady too!!!
Lovely words to say all. You understand well the worries that keep going round.
Yrs, it's freezing here and the forecast is more cold for us all. You made me smile about you having so many clothes on that you could hardly move.
HVDY Hope your DGD1 is starting to improve poor girl. Such a long time to wait in A&E feeling so unwell .
Hope your GP appt went well and you got your inhaler ( or 2)
Doodle Your bracelet sounds lively and I didn't know anyone could get engraving done in someone's own handwriting. That's so very special.
Not sure if cockapoos can vary a little in size tbh. Fluffball has just gone a year
old.
We went out for a coffee this morning and several times my DH was holding his arm. The pain is there all the time. He's not one for taking painkillers either.
He's just started an increase in BP medication so well see how that goes but I'm feeling sure the breathlessness is heart related and not COPD. He's waiting for a Spirometry test ( long wait apparently) but think it's all diverting away from the real cause. Anyway , hoping Vascular appt on 21st will be able to help with breathlessness and chest tightness prob aswell as the Subclavian Steal thing causing arm pain.
Hope you have someone to see this weekend and you don't get chilled. Thankyou for all your kindness. Hug for you tonight.

Wishing everyone a cosy peaceful night ( Lucyd -thinking of you in caravan) and love to all.