Black Dog 24

ScaredyCat The cat sounds beautiful. As you say, he must belong to someone but obviously enjoys your garden. A water feature sounds very nice. I'm glad your sister is doing well.

SweetpeaSue You and your husband keep busy! (Don't overdo it, though.) My brother has got a friend of 95 (!) who he visits and has lunch with, every few weeks. Apart from that, he's got me. I'll get my inhaler today - the Pharmacist wasn't there yesterday.

Wyllow3 My brother isn't interested in me or my family, hasn't met any of my GC (the eldest is almost 14). He got in touch with my Son1 (after not seeing or being interested for many years) to ask him to fix his PC. I'm glad your gardener is going to come next week. He'll soon get your garden looking decent for summer.

Allsorts How old is your GS? My brother has never been sociable or jovial, by his own admission. Does your GS have friends? Hobbies?

Up at 5.30, showered, etc. Dentist at 8.45 then aqua aerobics and brunch at the pub. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Well the brick saga is almost over but the dd saga continues.
The men came on Sunday with the truck and ds 2 came down so ds dh myself and 2 men worked all morning to get them shifted. There’s still a lot of small bits in the garden but I can clear that bit by bit. Got sore neck and shoulders but that will pass.
Didn’t clear the ones that have fallen in the neighbours garden but there are not too many
It is a great relief. The fence is going up in April then I can think about plants.
Phoned dd. Asked again if I could visit and didn’t get a proper answer. Don’t know whether to confront her about it or not . I just feel that I’m 74 and quite healthy but anything can happen and am hurt that she doesn’t want to be with me while she can and I feel fit to travel. I think I will wait till after Sunday, see if she acknowledges Mother’s Day or not, then try to find out what is going on.

EllieAnne Glad the wall is being cleared. A job well done. Fencing will be nice, and perhaps you could have some planters with flowers in front. I put bunting and hanging baskets along our fencing on one side but it's 6ft tall at the highest point. I hope your daughter rings you on Mother's Day or at least sends you a card.

Called into Asda, early, for my prescription - it wasn't ready, so I'll go again soon. Brunch was delicious - pancakes with freah fruits and maple syrup.

EllieAnne You sound so relieved to get the main bricks shifted and it must have been a hard job - thank goodness you weren't alone! Oh I hope your DD responds soon , it must be so upsetting for you.
Allsorts I'm sorry about your DGS - that must be very difficult . You can only do your best to give so much support but it.must be worrying. I do understand about the news bringing you down. I've been tuning into the news headlines first thing on a morning and last thing at night to follow things and I can't believe how awful things are. We can only take so much in though and I've had to step away a little.
HVDY What a lovely brunch - you deserve something nice after those aqua-aerobics. Hope you managed to get that inhaler this afternoon. I've painted a skirting board in bedroom today and can't believe how difficult it was. Couldn't crouch so lay on my side then crawled to hoist myself up again on something. Trying to help DH what he's started but feel awful at moment. Join the queue tomorrow for GP. Have you finished your bedroom now?

Hope everyone is managing OK today.

HVDY so pleased you got seen by another Gp. Using an inhaler as you were meant something was wrong and needed more treatment. Good the GP is being thorough.
Scaredycat yes it’s lovely having our sons nearby although at the moment one is in Ireland and the other in New York.
2 grandchildren at university on finishing soon and our grandson at college. Not been a bad day here. Have you been out? I went to sit fit this morning then went to the garden centre and met 3 people I know. One was having coffee so I joined her for a bit and we were still there an hour later.
Sweetpeasue we are all different and I know lots of people who don’t want to look at videos of their lost loves or hear their voices. For me it’s my lifeline with my Dh. I look at videos of him every night, I love hearing him say he loves me, see him smiling at me and I have videos of us laughing together about things. I smile when I watch them and it brings him closer to me. I don’t know how I could carry on without them to be honest but we are all different. Some want to remove all traces of people, change everything or move so they don’t have so many reminders. I want to keep everything the same. Have DH’s things around me to keep him with me as much as possible. Glad you’ve got some funny stuff. Hopefully you will not need to rely on them for many many more years.
Wyllow why don’t you try something. You can’t carry on like this, you’re not living. Have a look on the internet there are lots of things about if you search them out, look on Facebook too. It doesn’t have to be anything too much.
Allsorts no disrespect but I wish you grandsons parents would be more caring. I don’t know what the financial situation is but could your grandson try hypnotherapy? It’s been known to help people with MH issues. I can say personally I know someone it has helped a lot.
Ellie Anne it’s good your son came round to help and your Dh got activated enough to help too. Hopefully when you can re plant you will feel better about things.
Maybe if your DD is low or feeling down she might not want you to see how she is. Lethargy and apathy are often associated with MH issues. I hope you hear from her properly soon and all is ok.

SweetpeaSue I got the inhaler, thanks, so I'll see how it goes. Painting skirtings is something I can't do (since the stroke, I get dizzy when I bend over), but I admire you for doing that. Hope you manage to get through to the GP tomorrow. The bedroom is taking a frustratingly long time - 3 weeks since the bloke from Hammonds measured up - it's all been painted, but Hammonds send a surveyor (this Fri) before they place the order, so the wardrobes will be fitted early May! Then carpets (they fit straight onto floorboards) and bed after that.

Doodle I'm glad you met up with friends and had coffee with one. Did you buy anything from the garden centre? I sometimes meet my friend at one but we never look at the plants . We just have coffee (and cake). How was sitfit? A new man was at Aqua Aerobics today. He must have been about 30st. Everyone stared at him . He could barely walk and was terribly breathless. I had to admire him for trying, though. Are your sons away on holiday? The GP yesterday was nice. I saw on my notes (NHS app) she'd put "query heart failure/Emphysema", but yesterday, she said she didn't think it was my heart. Either way, I think (hope) I'll get a diagnosis soon.

DH is cooking Jamaican Jerk chicken and rice. I can hardly wait..... hope everyone is ok today x

Doodle How nice and unexpected to see your friends at the garden centre and to be able to have a coffee and chat. Glad you've had a reasonable good day.
I understand what you are saying about everyone being different. My sister had mum's photos up everywhere when she first died but I couldn't bare it,- not for a while anyway. Better to have some videos there if we want to look at them though- at least we have the choice. I hate having my photo taken and realised I don't have many of us together ,apart from at weddings. Hope you have someone to see tomorrow too.
HVDY I didn't realise there was so much involved to having wardrobes fitted but it will be lovely to have it all finished. It's the spare bedroom we're doing - no wardrobes involved but getting a sofa bed and just got a drawer cabinet for my music which was just all in large plastic boxes stacked up. Took me ages to sort it today. Found old greeting cards too from the past.
I keep thinking DHs breathlessness is heart related yet I don't understand why a Spirometry test is required first. ECG was normal but just read doesn't exclude possible heart failure. It's scary isn't it- I hope you get answers soon. Oh that poor vastly heavy man- so brave of him to go to Aqua-aerobics, I hope he's OK and benefits.

Evening all
SweetPeaSue- what a coincidence our Mums birthdays. I,m sure you must miss yours as much as I do mine still.
You,ve been working hard but it’s nice to do it together and feel you,re taking the strain off DH a bit. Sorry you feel awful now and just hope you get some proper help tomorrow.
Wyllow- you used to enjoy Yoga didn’t you? It’s worth a try - if you enjoy it and the lady you might be able to go back to the Gym eventually.Tai Chi is a nice gentle exercise maybe you could give that a try.
Good to hear the Garden man will be round soon. It’s a perfect time to have him come as everything is ready to come to life again. We,ve demolished our old fountain to take to the tip . The new one is just 3 little balanced pots trickling water down.
Your DiL has a lot on her plate hasn’t she- you are a kind caring MiL and she must value your words.
Allsorts- how sad about your GS- you must love him a lot. If his parents have stopped seeing him that’s heartbreaking and won’t help repair his confidence. Dreadful there is no help for him.
HVDY- yes the cat is truly beautiful and so nice natured. I just hope he stays safe.
Your brother misses so much doesn’t he - his choice but it’s hurtful for you.
Glad you have your inhaler now - fingers crossed it will make a difference. Poor man at the Aqua Aerobics- it must have taken some courage to go so hats off to him for making the effort.
Hope you enjoyed the Jerk Chicken- well done DH.
EllieAnne- thank goodness those bricks have gone and DH had a hand in it. No wonder you are achey it must have been hard work.
It must be dispiriting when your DD is so noncommittal. Its trues what you say that now is the time when you feel able to spend time with her and do things. See how Sunday goes and then get in touch again - but gently does it for both your sakes.
Doodle made a good point.
Doodle- your day sounds like a good one. Do you feel the benefit from Sitfit. You,ve certainly persevered with it and must be more flexible. Isn’t it nice to have an unplanned meet up with friends and a surprise coffee chat.
I had a walk this morning while DH was at the Gym - it was nice and I took my coat off. This afternoon I went to photography group which is always fun.
Lovely to read about the enjoyment you get from your videos of DH. It is heart warming and so touching. We all have to do what is best for us personally and you had such a lovely relationship . Thank you for sharing those feelings.
Love to allxx

SweetpeaSue It's a palaver, and with hindight I wish we'd either gone to a different wardrobe-fitting place or just bought wardrobes and drawers. It will be nice, though, to have it eventually finished. We've got lots of LPs, I don't know why we keep them as we don't and won't play them. All the photos (several albums and a large bagful of loose) have now gone to Son1. My mum had heart failure for 20-odd years. I haven't had an ECG, but the x-ray showed my heart is a normal size. I hope someone gets to the bottom of what your husband's problems are.

ScaredyCat It was mild weather here all day, too, and was particularly sunny from about 4pm. Hope it stays like it for a while. What did you take photos of this time - do you have a weekly theme?

Hope ALL other BDers have been ok today x

Night night all, catch up tomorrow xx

It's a bright, sunny day here. Fairly productive -
Got my hair trimmed, collected a prescription, got a bit of shopping, did some washing, swept and cleaned the patio, planted some bulbs. How's everyone else?

Hi all
HVDY- you have been busy - me too! We went into town for DH to have an eye test. They told him he needs a cataract operation- goodness knows when that will happen!! So we had a mooch about and a coffee. Got some bits and bobs then this afternoon we put in the little water feature and tidied up a bit in the garden. Then this evening we have our free meal at the pub for DH Birthday last month- they had mucked up the booking before!! Hope I can stay awake😩
We have monthly subjects and meet every month to look at them together. Nothing technical - just nice and sociable. Last month it was Games and Hobbies, domestic animals and the letter F.
How did you feel today after using the new inhaler for a while?

Hope you all have a restful evening and see you tomorrowx

Scaredycat yes I have mentioned before my memory problems so having videos of Dh is my way of remembering because I can’t picture things in my mind or recall them. I would be lost without them.
It was nice today I’m glad you enjoyed your walk. I see you’re still going to the photography group. That’s good.
I do enjoy sit fit and I do feel some slight improvement since I’ve been going. The exercises are for older people so not too strenuous.
Love the sound of your water feature. Water is so relaxing.
Hope you enjoy your meal this evening.
HvDY no o didn’t buy anything at the garden centre. I was looking for a pair of trousers, they have a cotton traders there
Hope your new inhaler helps.
It’s taking a while to get your bedroom sorted but it will be lovely when done. .
Sweetpeasue my DS1 h has difficulty looking at photos of his dad. Our other son goes to the hospice on his own to spend some quiet time there, I look at photos and videos of Dh all the time. I have 6 on my phone that change every hour and I always watch a video or two every morning and night. I just wish I could be with him again.
DH had heart failure but even if your Dh does it’s not untreatable and you can live a long life with it.
A doctor told me it doesn’t mean your heart is failing only that it’s not working as well as it should.
Wyllow the weather is starting to get warmer and the days are brighter. I do hope you can manage to get out more. I’m sure seeing things outside of your home would help you.

That was a successful day there, trimmed and tidied, HVDY.

I’m sorry your DH needs the operation Scaredycat. I suppose it will come for most of us but still, not nice. Can they give you an idea of waiting times so you “know where you stand?” Super little water feature, there. You’ll be tired by the end of the day and I hope you have a good evening.

I’m so glad you have those videos, Doodle. Sit fit sounds ideal. Thank you for sharing the different ways your sons have reacted. How different we all are.

I missed yesterdays news but I see that Sweetpeasue you have concerns about DH you have shared before. Big hugs.

It’s been an exhausting two days and very hard - and a mixed ending. Yesterday I went to have my eyes tested for new specs and of course had to put my “be normal” persona on. Trouble is, as I’ve explained before, doing a “good thing”. Which it was, doesnt always make me feel better, my reverse self!

Prepare for long story as need to share….

But…I’ve been neglecting something really important heath wise and its reached a crisis. For a few weeks it’s got harder and harder to hear and I’ve had some ear pain. I know it’s wax, but put things off.

Finally today (after more events will get to) I decided to have a clean out - carefully - with cotton buds. And yes *HVDY I should’ve gone for the olive oil. Like you said

After the ear buds I went to curl up with I player in bed and found the sound had gone wrong on the computer.

Or so I thought. After an hour wrangling with the computer I realised it was me - I can hardly hear anything at all in either ear. Panic. Ring doc sis up, who had to shout of course, who told me that GP’s dont do ear wax anymore. She said lots of olive oil and it might clear in 2 weeks. 2 weeks no radio or TV…..I then wrangled with the TV and managed to get subtitles.

I’ll ring the doc tomorrow and hope I dont have to go it (its a fair way and I am simply exhausted and its hard to get myself going..) but if I have ear pain then maybe I shouldn’t go to Boots or Specsavers for the ear vacuum things….I’d quite like a home visit as the Boots and Specsavers are in town…not been able to do that for months and months…

The good bit of today, well once it was done, was that the gardener came and it looks tidy and all cut back tho not in good condition and thankfully the front hedge is done so I dont feel people will think badly of me neighbour wise. Not just that,

but somehow I got the gardener (who said he didnt do regular visits) in sympathetic mood and he’ll not only come again but has ideas for the partially wrecked garage (done when my Ex was in a bad way mentally, he hacked some of it down and smashed a window). He’s expensive

but the relief of looking out on something tidy I hope will last.

After I can hear again, it’s hard as it makes the tinnitus worse as well…….

Sorry for going on, had to share….

Night night

Scaredycat Your photography group sounds nice and informal with no pressure. If the subject is domestic animals again you might catch a photo of your cat visitor. The cataract op must have been a surprise- I hope your DH won't have to wait too long though.
HVDY I know what you mean about photographs and albums- I've collected so many over the years. We have a box of LPs too ,which are never played. I collected quite a few Bee-Gees ones and 'Top of the Pops' ones. I hope your new inhaler is working better for you. .That wheezing isn't good at all.
WyllowSo glad about the gardener. It's just the right time of year to get things done and the hedge need not be a concern for you anymore. Oh I hope you have rang the Dr today about your ears. You can't be too careful about poking them with cotton buds . Glad you could ring Dr sis for help. I'm sure she's only too glad to help and will feel wanted. I'm sorry you're so exhausted with everything though- one thing at a time.
Doodle I'm glad you get comfort from playing those videos of your DH. I can see now how very vital and precious they are to you - bringing your DH back to you as you watch.
Thankyou for the reassurance about Heart Failure. I read somewhere there were 4 stages and I just want it sorted if it is that as it's been going on too long. He's had purple/blue marks over both ankles ( which have gone now) and also swelling but main thing is he's so extremely tired. Hope your day has been OK and you've been with friends.

Saw GP yesterday and he's sending expediting letter to Rheumatology to say my condition has worsened. He was disappointed for me that appt had been put back so long. Then I came back and went to bed for a few hrs but still no sleep. Today has been better and we took Fluffball ( not her real name) for a run on the beach. Only out about 30 mins but it was fresh air and funny to watch Fluffball digging furiously to hide sticks.

Extremely tired now and DH looks done in- sigh.

Wishing everyone a peaceful night and hoping your day has been OK.xx

Oh Wyllow you poor thing. Yes you must always soften the wax with oil even before having your ear syringed. I think you have to do it for two weeks. Can you get something from the chemist to help?
Wonderful news about the gardener. If he can come back and tidy up some more I’m sure it will help.
Sweetpeasue must be lovely to have Fluffball with you especially on a beach walk. Glad you’ve seen the GP and he’s making your referral more urgent. Sorry I can’t remember what made you think that your Dh might have heart failure. If you are worried could you ask the GP to refer him to the Heart Failure nurses to have him checked over?
It’s good his legs are better.
I’ve been to art this morning and knitting this afternoon. Early night tonight as walking group tomorrow
HVdY Scaredycat Ellie Anne Hope you’re all ok.

ScaredyCat Your photography class sounds really interesting. Your husband will notice the difference in his eyesight after his cataracts are operated on. I know a lot of people who have said how clear everything is afterwards.

Wyllow3 Glad your garden is now looking neater. The gardener sounds very good and obliging. I hope you manage to get something sorted out with your ears - it's never a good idea to use cotton buds - they damage the tiny hairs inside the ears.

SweetpaeSue I've got every Beatles LP my mum had, and every Davis Bowie one (a few belonged to the brother who died in 1975), as well as Rolling Stones and many others. I'm now wheezing now, thank you, but still coughing a lot. I hope your husband gets a proper diagnosis soon, and I'm glad the GP will chase up the Rheumatology referral. How lovely for Fluffball to enjoy the beach like that.

Doodle Glad you've had a good day. Hope the weather is fine for your walk tomorrow.

I'm not feeling well since yesterday evening. I've been feverish (boiling hot, then shivering), got a sore throat and general aches. Last night was awful - awake from 11.30 to 5.45 this morning! Palpatation and headache. Spent most of this afternoon dozing on and off. I'll be in bed by 10pm. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night.

I went to the GP because there was some ear pain - rung at 9, got in at 11.15 - and its not just ear wax so glad I went

I can only hear a little, just enough if someone shouts on the phone - hopefully it will not take more than 2 weeks to get hearing back. Two weeks! I rely on sound a lot.
Definitely no vacuuming well not till its settled.

On the way back from the GP a front tyre started sinking on the car.
S**s law this week, its being taken to the garage tomorrow, I thought it might as well have a service as well as new tyres at the front.

I’m desperately tired and its the cleaner early tomorrow so get up early then “waiting in” for the car when I usually sleep tomorrow afternoon…you know, when you have to force yourself feeling feverish when everything is saying, curl up.

But yes….looking out on the garden is a huge relief!

Aw, Sweetpeasue, I wish there was some proper relief over worry about DH, would send you some if it were available, it will have to be a hug.
I am glad to hear the GP is trying to expedite your appointment with the Rheumatologist.
Good to hear about a bit of a better day for you, today, tho.

Yes Doodle knowing the gardener will come back a relief. I am paying him very well mind but it’s worth it for peace of mind. Warmest thoughts coming your way, and I hope the waking is sunny for you tomorrow.

HVDY Are you a collector of many things, or is it an LP collection? I’m sorry to hear about the sore throat and general aches. Have you been overdoing it? That was a really bad night, many sympathies coming your way.

Thinking of todays absent BD’s - all of you and wishing you well in struggles and endeavours on this special thread.

The walking, Doodle, not the waking!

I don’t know if I mentioned that I’ve been having bladder problems probably for at least six weeks. Am sure it’s not a uti as I’ve had many of these and this feels different.
Yesterday I got brave and phoned the doctor who
Offered me an appointment for Wednesday which for our surgery is amazing. However it is with a male dr. I’ve seen him once before and he was very nice but this is a bit more embarrassing and I’m already getting worked up. But if I cancel it could be weeks before I see anyone and the problem is getting me down.

Oh, Wyllow3, that's bad. I'm glad you saw the GP. Did he/she prescribe anything? Then a flat tyre as well....at least it'll be all done and safe by later today. Hope you can somehow manage to have a nap later today. No, I've never collected things (china, ornaments or anything). We've been too lazy to get rid of them - Son1 has got 900 DVDs in our shed, not knowing what to do with them.

EllieAnne Please do go. All doctors deal with far more embarrassing things than that, and at least you shouldn't need to be examined. Get it sorted out today, then you'll feel better.

Had one of those nights - this time too hot, and coughing. My throat is so pianful. This is TMI, but I just had a coughing fit and coughed something up, a solid thing. Googled it and it would appear to be a tonsil stone . Back later x

Scaredycat my Dh had both his cataracts done. It made a big difference to his eyesight. Hope your Dh doesn’t have to wait too long.
HVDY you,us the a lot younger than me if your Beatles Lips belonged to your mum. I got given Please Please me Lp when it first came out by my cousin. I was a teenager. DH was a Rolling Stones fam so he had all their LpS.
Sorry you’re feeling so poorly. You must be going down with something, hope you feel better soon.
Wyllow so glad you got to see the GP. Hope your hearing is sorted out soon. Hope it’s nothing serious.
So pleased your garden is looking better. I hope your gardener comes back to finish the job and you can spend some time out there in the warmer weather. Do you have a nice Sun lounger?
Ellie Anne please don’t cancel your appointment. Most nurses are female so men have to contend with that when they are ill. Looking after people is the doctors job and they can deal with things in a matter of fact way. Try not to be embarrassed just say what’s wrong. If you find it difficult write it down and give him the paper. You say he’s nice so go with it.
Please don’t cancel and try not to worry.
HVDY my goodness I’ve never heard of such a thing. I do hope you’re going to talk to someone about it. Are you ok?
Sweetpeasue have you had a good day with Fluffball. The weathers been nice here. Have you been to the beach?
I’ve been out with our walking group. To church to help with a church lunch. To the hospice to deliver something. To the new Range store in town and to Waitrose to do my shopping.
I’m exhausted and I think my hayfever is back.
Good news is son is having a happy 50th in New York and I’m going to other son for lunch on Mothering Sunday.

Evening all.
Doodle- we had a nice meal thank you . It was on the house because of the mess up on DH birthday when they didn’t inform us they were having to shut for a couple of nights!!
Your memory problems must be very frustrating so thank goodness you have all those lovely videos of DH to be able to watch . Ah your boys have to deal with missing their Dad in their own ways don’t they. I expect they talk about him together too. My Son deals with his trauma in his own way too.
Wyllow- good job you got to see your GP and hope your ears are up and running again soon.
At least your car will be in good order so you don’t have to worry when you go out.
It must be so nice for you to see the garden you love coming to life again. Next week the weather should be really good so maybe you,ll be able to get out there and enjoy it for a while. It’s certainly money well spent especially keeping the garden man for maintenance.
EllieAnne- try not to worry about your forthcoming Drs Appt. 6 weeks is a long time to have felt discomfort and the Doctor will be glad you,ve gone to see him.
HVDY- Your poor throat. I suppose if it was a tonsil stone the pain and coughing it up has made it a bit raw. It was possibly making you cough as well.
My BiL has hundreds of records - he collects them. Some of those you have could be valuable . You could look online and maybe sell them on EBay or something. Same with your Sons DVDS.
Our cat visitor does have an owner😩it was on our local Facebook as someone else had seen him in their garden.
I hope you have a more comfortable nights sleep tonight.
SweetPeaSue - my DH got a letter today asking him to chose from a list where to have the Op!!!! He only had his eye test Wednesday- we couldn’t believe it .
What Doodle says about HF is right although I can understand your concern. It’s possible my AF will lead to HF but not yet hopefully. Glad your GP has helped you and was kind and sympathetic. Hopefully you might get an earlier appt.
Fluffball did her best to cheer you up on the beach- she must have looked so cute.

Hope all those who we haven’t heard from lately are having some easier days . Love to all those mentioned and those who post when they can or just read.

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Sorry. Can't address everyone.
HVDY I think your breathing problems and wheezing may have contributed to the tonsil issues. I'd never heard of tonsil stones but the bacterial conditions in your throat might have been responsible. What a shock for you. Do hope you're OK now. Think I'd tell your GP about this.
Doodle Glad you're seeing one.of your sons for Mother's Day. The thing that made me think DH has heart failure is the severe Fatigue, breathlessness on simple tasks, and difficulties in breathing. He's also had discolouration of ankles. I don't think our GP is on right track about Spirometry test for COPD. Just makes everything longer to check out.

Sorry ,unable to address all.
Had Fluffball today and she lay on top of duvet with me this afternoon.
Have some pics of her at beach yesterday.
Hope everyone has peaceful night.



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