Black Dog 24

Sweetpeasue sorry you feel so poorly and tired and in pain. I wonder what is going on. Please see the GP . Maybe you need some blood tests.
I’ve had two very busy days talking to so many people, been so busy and am fine apart from the fact I’m sad. I know it sounds strange I can’t explain it. Had lots of lovely company and been fine but overall I’m just sad tonight.
Sorry you’re probably fed up of my complaining. I find it hard to pretend all is well when it isn’t.
Nanny thank you. My arm is sore but I’ve done it so many times I know it will heal if I leave it long enough. My skin is so thin the slightest knock will take the top layer off.
Oh Wyllow I wish I could help you. Going on like this day after day must be so demoralising. At least I have some better days. Are you feeling ill or in pain?
NannyG4 how brave of you to go away. I hope you had a nice time with your friends. Glad you were looked after.
HVDY I really do think you need to see a doctor about your eyes. This has been going on a long time. I love the thought of Jaffa patting you gently to make his presence known. Hope you had a nice lunch.
Candy thank you. I am lucky to have so many nice friends, I met one by accident this afternoon. She had met up with another lady she didn’t know and got chatting. I was there with my friend and the four of us ended up having a delightful afternoon?
Scaredycat that’s the dressing I have on my arm, I’m sure it will heal ok. If don’t the same thing so many times. My skin is so thin the slightest knock breaks it. Had a nice time at the hospice today.
Hope you have a good weekend. Are you meeting any family?
I’m so tired I’m struggling to stay awake writing this . I keep nodding off. Sleep well all x

Hi all
Doodle- Ow what a painful thing to happen. Both the injury and missing DH to you some comfort. Mepore dressings are really good and comfortable also easy to change. I,m always scraping my skin as it is so thin due to the blood thinners.
Please see the nurse if it isn’t healing well.
Yes we will get a catio if we get the cats. I don’t think either of us would cope very well now if we lost one.
Hope you enjoy your lovely Church tomorrow.
SweetPeaSue- from what I have read about Fibromyalgia it does sound like how you are feeling. All the worry and stress you,ve been under is not good for you either and can manifest as pain and fatigue.
Do hope you have a better day today and can get out and forget your troubles for a while.
Wyllow- sorry you,re not feeling so good but this week you have accomplished a lot so try and focus on that.
Yes a catio is like a little conservatory but made of wire and steel or wood.
NannyG4- Glad you are home safe after what sounds like a really nice break. There are lovely beaches near Chichester aren’t there. Of course the contrast when you get home will unsettle you to say the least. But it took courage to go and next time it will be a little easier.
HVDY- we can’t use the netting as we only have one fence and the rest is hedges full of little cat sized holes in them!
Glad you got to Aqua- you woke up some muscles by the sound of it.
Everything you write about Jaffa reminds me of why we miss cats.
Hope you,ve enjoyed your lunch with Son 1 and daughter.
Candy6- years ago I had to have the Fire Brigade to rescue my then cat from a very tall poplar tree. They got him down and 5 minutes after they left he shot up it again!! Such a cat thing to do. Can’t see my DH shinning up a tree!!
Hope you enjoy your mooch- relaxing when you don’t actually need anything .
I think you are going to be lucky with the weather next week from the forecast- hope so
Nanny 2507- how’s the cat search going? Hope your Son and family are settling happily into the new house.

EllieAnne,Nadateturbe,Allsorts, Whiff, Whywhywhy,Lucyd,Elveral and anyone else I,ve forgotten I hope you are all coping as best you can. Love to all

Hello all, just had a quick catch up. Hope all are as well as possible.
Scaredycat so you’re thinking of getting 2 cats! How lovely! Something to look forward to. A catio sounds great. I know it’s natural for cats to roam but I would be worried about them. Someone I know had cats but if they weren’t in at bedtime she would go looking for them many a time her DH has been sent up a tree to retrieve them 🤣. Hope you are having a nice day.
HVDY you’ve been up early! I’m not really a morning person and like a lie in but it sometimes doesn’t do me any good as I find I can feel lethargic all day afterwards. What a nice way to be woken up though! Animals are funny aren’t they and you can’t get angry with them. Mt dog jumps up and gently paws you when he wants a fuss and he always gets one, numerous times a day! Hope your cough and eyes aren’t too troublesome. Well done on going back to aqua. I remember you going before and glad you’ve been able to do it again.
Sweetpeasue sorry you are feeling so lethargic. If you have a good rest then does it help or is it pretty much constant? I get tired in the afternoons, due to my meds I think, but a nap usually perks me up. I hope you have managed to rest up and are feeling better. Hope your DH is well too.
Wyllow sorry it’s a rough day for you but you have been more productive since I was last in - dentist and sorting a gardener, positive moves forward for you. Like others have said, the old you is there, she just needs coaxing to break free. You’ve been well in the past and you will be again. Keep reminding yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but koko 💐.
NannyG4 glad you’ve had a nice few days away but sorry you’re finding it difficult now you are home. Try to do something nice for yourself until the feeling passes and it will pass. Have a look at the cat adoption sites and see if there any that take your fancy.i know this sounds silly, but I like looking at formal dresses, like for a wedding and I imagine which one I’d have. It’s not that silly really as my DS will be getting married in the next few years so I’m just getting well prepared! So nice of you to suggest donations to the cat rescue instead of presents for you too. I hope you are feeling better now.
Doodle I’m sorry for your accident. It sounds very painful. I hope it’s feeling less sore now. You do lead a busy life now but that’s good for you I’m sure. Your friends and groups sound marvellous. I’m sorry for your sad times too. Sending ❤️.

I’m waiting for a delivery (nothing very exciting) then I’m going to pop to our nearest small city for a mooch. I don’t need anything but like to have a look around. We are looking after our grand-dog today as DD and SiL are taking DGS to play his football a fair distance away and need to stay overnight. Then tomorrow we are off to our caravan for a few days. 🤞for good weather.

Love to all and thinking of Ellie Anne and others too. Wishing you the best day possible xx

ScaredyCat Jaffa never leaves the garden. He's never bothered to climb the fence, and he sits on a patio chair, never bothers to explore our long garden. He's a very good boy. A catio isn't a bad idea but cat-proofing is even better (netting along the top of fencing - Son2 has got it for their 2 cats.

Doodle Oh dear, did you scrape your arm? Sudocrem is very good for almost everything. Hope your injury heals quickly. I might end up asking a GP about this Blepharitis as I've tried lots of creams, bathing my eyes with diluted baby shampoo, etc.

SweetpeaSue All those aches and pains do sound like Fibromyalgia. Effective painkillers appear to be the only thing for that (Son1 gets pain in his feet, shoulders and hands mainly). Hope you get some relief from it soon.

Wyllow3 I did aqua, hadn't been since last June! I managed to keep up with it (it's a virtual thing, on a screen at the side of the pool). Everywhere ached all evening. Have you heard any more from the gardener?

Been up since 6.30 - Jaffa heard me coughing and came bounding up the stairs like a maniac . I pretended to be asleep so he gently patted me on the hand and nudged my arm with his head . He's so lovely. Seeing Son1 and his eldest girl for lunch. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Just want to pop in and say Good Morning to you ALL. I’ve just returned home from a few days away near Chichester with friends. I was well looked after and enjoyed the change of scenery but coming home to an empty house has hit me hard, I feel so so sad and hopeless.
Anyway I will catch up with everyone’s news and get up to date with everyone. Just to let you know I’m sending love, strength and prayers to each and every one of you. Much love. ❤️🙏💐

I’ve been pretty poorly body and mind today.

I hope you managed to get to aqua aerobics, HVDY. Yes, we are both lucky to have NHS dentists and mine are good.

Thank you for telling me about the catio. Scaredycat Like a mini conservatory built to scale. I can understand the caution you have traffic wise. Your thoughtful post as usual most welcome.

Oh yes, Doodle, it would be wonderful to have an off switch! Aw, thats a really bad accident to have. As you say, these things bring home being alone. Sending TLC for it.

So sorry its been a lousy week, Sweetpeasue. Of course it’s hard to get up. No apologies needed x

Warm waves nanny2507

Ouch doodle I hope it's not so sore now xx

Oh Doodle I hope your wound is OK and you had some antiseptic lotion/cream .Do get a nurse to look at it if you are concerned it's not healing properly. I don't like the sound of it being a big area of skin taken off. Big hug and x.

Sorry I can't mention everyone.Truth is this last week I've felt worse. Fatigue severe and feel I'm sleep walking and I'll with aches n pains everywhere.Wake up like it's too painful to move and takes tremendous effort to get up. Sorry for the moan. I'll have to see GP next week I suppose.

Thinking of you all and live and hugs all round especially those feeling very bad.xx

...

HVDY I’d talk to the GP about your eyes if I were you. You may need better treatment than what you can get OTC.
Did you go to aqua aerobics ? I can remember when you used to go every week. Yes you are lucky to have an NHS dentist. I haven’t had one for about 40 years.
Wyllow it’s almost impossible to will yourself better. The mind is a strange thing and has a will of its own I think. So many times I wished mine had an off switch, just not to worry for a few hours.
I hope your gardener remembers and comes round soon.
Scaredycat I’ve never heard of a catio. What a brilliant idea. Access to the outside without being in danger. What a good idea. Will you have one if you get cats?
Sweetpeasue are you going to see Aunt this weekend. Don’t know what the weathers going to be like but although it was very cold this morning it warmed up later. I went out with our little walking group then went shopping with DILs mum to John Lewis.
Had a nasty accident this morning. I walked into the corner of our chest of drawers and took off a large area of surface skin.
I reall,y didn’t know what to do. Managed to sort it out myself in the end but I could have wept at Dh not being there to hell me. It’s quite sore and bleeding but I have a big dressing on it and will leave it in for a few days till it heals up a bit.
Have a good weekend all.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- No need to apologise for anything- I didn’t even think about it. You’re right life is short and for some a really hard road to travel. But every day there is something to be grateful for no matter how small.
Hope you and DH are having a better day .
Doodle- Glad you are feeling better and the pollen finishes soon.
How lovely you all get together for tea at Church. So good there is a mix of ages too . Afternoon tea is my favourite meal out- who doesn’t like cake!
Yes I think my friend is frightened at what’s happening to her as she doesn’t know her diagnosis yet.
I think you are coping really well despite your deep sadness.
I,m sure your DH does sit with you and feel very proud of you too. Keeping busy is tiring but as time goes by you will gradually be able to relax more.
HVDY- We live in the main street in our village but it,isn’t a main road. Our last cat was a rescue (indoors) cat but all the others have been free roamers. It’s busier now though so we'rea bit,worried.Jaffa is marvellous how he stays close to you.
You started work early today- good job you had a rest day yesterday.
Hope you got toAqua Aerobics- I,d forgotten you used to go regularly didn’t you.
Wyllow- I think we all understand your ‘what’s the point’ days
And realise how stressful it would be for you to try and cover it up. Yes it is exhausting having to make yourself do things but sometimes we all have to’whistle a happy tune’ to get through things.
Well done with the dentist - not a fun day out is it!! But Hooray you didn’t need anything done.🖐️
Your gardener sounds the perfect person to have around as you are comfortable with him. I know what you mean though - I,always feel uncomfortable sitting about when other people are working .
A catio is like a little enclosure built onto the back of your house that your cat can access from a window or door but cannot get out to escape.This enables a cat to sit in the sun and climb but be safe. It’s a play on the word patio😺

Wishing all a calm and peaceful nightxx

Thank you, Wyllow3 Well done on going to the dentist, and great news that you didn't need to have anything done. I'm going next week (lucky to have an NHS dentist these days - nobody else in my family has got one).

Been up since 6.30, hung the washing out. Meant to be going to aqua aerobics this afternoon (not been for a long time). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

You deserve a lazy day, HVDY. I hope the cold clears up soon. The bone density scan must be complicated to process, thats quite a wait.

I’m glad to see you in today, Sweetpeasue Take care now, you and DH..despite all I hope the Spirometry test is useful, but such long waits for you both. Do let us know when the MRI results come.

Warm waves nanny2507

Your visit to her obviously helped, Scaredycat, your loving contact “got through". What is a "catios"?

Glad to hear at least the hay fever is better today, Doodle
Your church never ceases to amaze me, the activities are wonderful. Hugs for those tears when you get home.

It is like being in a prison Sweetpeasue yes a prison of feelings and the house too.

People are very kind here about me expressing the whats the point, I do need it “Accepted” not to pretend otherwise, its exhausting forcing myself to do stuff..

Carer was yesterday, today I went to the dentist which was an achievement (and a clean bill of health there). No date for the gardener yet, its was around a fortnight, I might have to remind him, I hope not. I find it difficult to have people around doing work but he is as easy to be with as its possible.

SweetpeaSue Not too long until your husband get the results of the MRI. He should hopefully get some answers then. I had a bone density scan yesterday - the results will be up to 12 weeks, they said. Son2 used to work in Derby and travel there every day, so he'll manage - he used to be his GF's boss (he says he still is ).

ScaredyCat My SIL is probably in the late stage of Alzheimer's now - barely eats anything and has to be helped. Unable to have a conversation (yes/no replies mainly). Memory is about 5 minutes. So sad really but she's unaware of what's going on. Do you live on a busy road? If not, I'd be inclined to let a cat roam a little. Jaffa sits on our patio without me now. He's never attempted to climb a fence though (not netted or anything).

Doodle My eyelids are sore, with this Blepharitis. I bought a couple of creams online, supposedly for that problem, but they've made no difference. I might ask the GP some time about antibiotics, which apparently can sometimes help. I hope your hay fever symptoms go soon.

I've lounged about all day. Had a shower and put clean pyjamas on at 2pm, and haven't done much at all. Hope ALL BDers have been ok x

Scaredycat feeling better today. Maybe the pollen is passing.
It must hurt so much the loss of your son. I can’t imagine how that would feel. As you say, he missed out so much on life.
I’ve been to afternoon tea at the church hall today. A mix of people from about 70 to 90. We all get on well.
So sorry about your friend, that must have been upsetting for you both. So sad she doesn’t understand but can still get so upset.
Wyllow hope you slept ok. Did you manage to get dresssed today? When is your gardener coming?
Nanny are you hoping to get another cat or kitten. I know you love them so. It must have been difficult for you to part with Binks especially as you had to establish a bond with him from when he was feral. Is he getting on ok with your son?
I’ve had a goodish day thank you.
HVDY I haven’t asked you for a while but how are your eyes now? Hope they’re better. Thank you for the flowers.
Sweetpeasue thank you for caring. I’ve had a busy day today and lots of company. I’m doing quite well really but every day I feel sad and lonely without Dh. I still cry but mostly in the early evening then I settle down for dinner and try to feel him still here with me sitting in his chair smiling at me.
I lead a very busy life these days. There’s hardly a day when I’m not doing something or meeting people. It’s nice but very tiring when you’re on the go all the time.
My eyes are better today. The pollen might be going over. It doesn’t usually last too long.
Will you have a consultant appointment regarding the results of the MRI or will your doctor tell your husband, do you know?
Still a long wait for the spirometry. I suppose the hospital have a long waiting list. Hope today has been better for you both.

Scaredycat I've just re-read my post and I felt it may have sounded 'flippant' about my 'glasshalfull' comment. I certainly didn't mean it to be. X

Doodle Looking back on your post you asked when the MRI results would be- they said 2/3 weeks. Hope your day has been better with less tears. ❤️
HVDY Missed your post. Sorry for that miserable cold. You were considerate by not going to the day centre. Ah your son still has quite a way to work then- so many around here need to travel to work or have left the area for work. Hope he soon gets used to it.
Scaredycat A good way to put it ,about your dear son - that you feel you need to live for him. You appear to try and live life to the full and take joy in everything . Life is so very short isn't it( oops that's my 'glass half full' person coming out. I really am sorry about your friend with Dementia . She has a lovely friend in yourself.

Hi all
Nanny2507- what a lovely thing to do for the cat rescue. It’s hard when your birthday coincides with such a sad date and so yes it’s a perfect thing to do.
I spend ages looking at the rescue sites do you? It would be lovely to have another furry friend. It would be a companion for both you and your other little cat. What sort of cat has your DD got?
Wyllow- you,re so right it really is the loss we all dread. We felt so helpless yesterday but after a couple of hours she was brighter and more relaxed. We,ve been friends for almost 50 years so she’s like another sister.
HVDY said it perfectly- you do need to believe in yourself not only that but believe that life can be good again even though it’s not exactly what we wanted it to be. We are all by your side willing you on.
HVDY- you must sometimes feel the same sort of sadness for your brother who was young too. I feel the need to live for him- he took joy in everything and lived life to the full.
How is your SiL now? Thank you for explaining and I hope she will settle down a bit as you say. So hard when her DH is so poorly with it too.
We,ve been looking at catios online - we only have room for a little one but it would safer than roaming free.
Hope your cold isn’t a nasty one.
SweetPeaSue- Thank you for those kind words. Bitterness is destructive isn’t it- kindness and compassion such as you have is much better.
It will be lovely to have cats again but we,ll have to wait until the end of the Summer as they,ll be rescue cats and we wouldn’t want to go away on any hols til they are settled.
It is a long wait for your DH Spirometry test but hopefully your GP is right and they can get more than one sort of information from it. Trouble is you,ve been messed about so much and for so long you,ve lost faith a bit.
Really nice words for Wyllow too.

Love to all and hope those absent are having as good a day as possible

Hi doodle how are you today. Sending love ❤️ xx

I have brain fog every day lately so sorry if I don't remember all.
Scaredycat As others have said ,your posts always sound as if coming from a young person. Your ongoing sadness at the loss of your young son is so heartbreaking yet you have soared above and not let it break you or become bitter. When I read your words your words to Wyllow -- despite life's hurdles the world is still a beautiful place--it made me cry and I so admire your resilience. You are a special lady, no doubt about it and still have caring words for those with struggling. I hope any future cats give you lots of love.
HVDY Think you mentioned Littlegirl didn't like swings - reminded me of my DGS as he didn't either. I think the slide was his favourite. Hope you get that breathlessness sorted and you are not wheezing so much. You were right - my DHs Spirometry test will now be 40 dys away at hospital. GP said it could rule other things out apart from COPD but I don't know what they can be. Just think it is delaying what is wrong. His ECG was normal.
Hope your son likes his new job. Good he doesn't have to travel every day.
Doodle I'm so sorry for your sadness yesterday. It's such a wonderful thing you have your faith and your lovely church friends. Nothing can take away your own personal loss of your lovely DH and I can only imagine how painful that is. Hope you have company today. Those eyes itching are an extra nuisance - do they normally settle by summer?
Wyllow I hope today you can talk to your nice carer and get some things off your chest - think it's the one you're close to today. I'm so glad you've managed to get the gardener to sort out your garden. I know it can remind you of your ex but this time it's your own garden. I don't think gardens are ever the same from Yr to Yr. I'm so sorry for your 'what's the point?' feelings. I know what they're like and they can keep you in a prison of their own. You are cared about so much here and we all want you to see and want life again. Never stop believing you will rise above this time.
Sending hugs.
Nanny2507 Not sure when your birthday is but that's a lovely though about the cat rescue place. I never seem to want gifts either . I think your decision to get another cat is so good as you receive a lot of love from them and will provide you with more company , as well as a companion for your other pet. Hope you're feeling OK today.

Thinking of all those not personally mentioned and hope you're all OK.xx

Nanny2507 What a kind thought, to support a cat rescue place. I hope you find a lovely cat.

SweetpeaSue, EllieAnne, and ALL BDers (new and regulars), hope you have a decent day. I've got a cold so not gone to the day centre as it wouldn't have been fair for me to pass it on. Lazy day today x

Wyllow3 You've been through a lot of challenges with your MH, and the aftermath of the split from your ex, bit life can be good again. Koko. You need to believe in yourself.

Doodle Son2's new job is near to Derby city centre. About 1 1/4hrs drive each way, but only 2 days a week. I agree, WFH is odd but a lot of places do that. Son1 can't, he has to be at his workplace every day (unless ill or an emergency). for you.

ScaredyCat So sad about your youngest son. It's not the natural order of things, is it? The colours in the bedroom look good and should be relaxing. Not seeing LittleGirl until next Monday. How sad about your friend. My SIL went through that phase. Once a person with dementia has lost their awareness altogether, they often settle down. It's a horrible condition.

Hugs for your tears today, Doodle
And thank you for your insightful comments, too.

Thats the loss that one most fears, Scaredycat you’ve gone through so much, and that was a sad meet up today, just glad that she has good support x

nanny2507 It sounds like you have made a good decision about that gift. I hope you find a lovely cat as well.

Missing some of our regulars today - hoping they are managing -

Good night and best nights all.

Hello all xx I've been looking at cat adoption sites too. Now I only have 1 cat there is room for another one. My DD adopted a cat from a rescue place in Kent. Drove a ling time to collect her and she is glorious. They have had her 2 years now. At work people in my department club together and buy gifts. This year I have asked them to donate to this cat rescue for my birthday. I don't want gifts. My birthday is 2 weeks after DH died and I dont want to celebrate and this is perfect for me xx

I forgot it again - Doodle!!

Oops I forgot to put your name before my reply to you🫢