Aveline
Yes. I do think he has a point.
So do I. And I don't think it's just young people. Don't get me started (or cut straight to the summary for the short version)
I think that there is a culture of 'self first' (often called 'self-care') that is endemic. Instead of thinking of the impact our actions have on others, too many people just see things in terms of how they are affected. A main driver in my leaving work early was that I had a colleague who was always taking time off for 'stress' every time there was a difficult time ahead. This left me to pick up her work as well as my own, and increase stress for me. Before anyone says that this is something for management to deal with, that's as may be but the fact is that they didn't. The colleague had numerous spells of 6 months' sick 'leave' and countless other days off for miscellaneous illness, although she wasn't ill enough not to be able to claim back holidays from when she'd been off sick and go abroad. She wouldn't leave, as the salary (based on the fact that the job was stressful) was more attractive than she would get if she had a more basic job that didn't have peaks and troughs of stressful things going on. After a particularly awful case of this I decided to leave for my own mental health, whilst she stayed on accruing a pension and earning a salary.
On a different note, I run a monthly meeting for an interest group, and it is held in my house. I provide a room (which room depends on numbers) and refreshments. I don't mind doing this at all - I am happy to host and put the kettle on - but it would be so much easier if people could stick to what they say about whether they are coming or not, but they won't. I draft in chairs from all over the place if we need a larger room because a lot of people are coming, but if not, it's much easier just to sit around the kitchen table on chairs that are already there. Judging quantities for refreshments is all but impossible, too. There could be anything up to 20 people, so I have to assume that this is happening, but the actual number of attendees is usually between 9-12 people, and if the weather is bad it might be 2 or 3. I don't live in a remote area, so I just mean if it looks like rain, not that roads are impassable because of blizzards
.
I ask before each meeting if people will let us all know numbers (other members also need to print documents, so it matters to them, too) but every time people pull out at the last minute because they aren't 'in the right headspace', or asks to be listed as 'tentative' until they see how they feel on the night. It's maddening. If they were paying for tickets to something they wouldn't be tentative.
I find that many people are routinely late for more social things too, or feel it's ok to cancel without thinking about the inconvenience for others. I was at two Christmas lunch things, and in both cases the table was booked for X, but a number of people cried off at the last minute because of 'Christmas stress'. The restaurant staff were put out, which was embarrassing for those of us who were there, and in one case we could have gone somewhere different who only had a smaller table available, but we thought we needed a large one.
I think that the ability to text to cancel is responsible for some of it, and possibly Covid contributed, but mainly I think it is just selfishness. I was brought up (and brought my own children up) to think that if you say you will go somewhere and a 'better offer' comes up that's just hard lines - you honour your word and go to the one that's in the diary. Similarly, I was made to go to school (and work) unless I was incapable of doing so, rather than being allowed to decide not to go unless I felt 100% capable. It's a mindset thing, I think.
In summary - I think that too much is written off as 'mental health', and whereas of course things like depression and anxiety are real, people should find ways to work around them if they suffer from them (eg take jobs that don't exacerbate the problem, and not make social arrangements they might not keep), rather than expect everyone else to deal with it.