Should we all have the right to a same sex carer?

I'm not angry and I've not been argumentative. Laws are in place to protect vulnerable people and it is clear. Opinion doesn't (or shouldn't) come into it.

female only personal care is protected by law and restrictive care practices are not encouraged. If that makes me eccentric, so be it

Misadventure I wholly agree with you. I think that one person has misunderstood and started a cascade of irrelevancies that were attacking unduly. When anger exists an outlet may be sought unfairly and in online spaces more easily.

Nobody is trying to score points.
What would be the purpose?

To some, personal care is just as well done by either sex, to others, it's a source of distress.

Much like my lady with her dentures - no big deal to anyone else, but traumatic to her to be seen without them.

I feel no need to point score in discussion. Perhaps someone will emerge with the view you are trying to argue with and the dissembling will cease to be rather apparent.

I think that is what people are doing, pointing out your foibles.

Good for you.
I'm much the same

aggressive assertive. I know what I mean and mean what I say and sometimes others need their foibles pointed out.

Why are you getting so aggressive about this matter?

Then don't make untrue assertions or take the time to ask. Where poor care exists it exists, that is a fact and I feel no need to imply anything about carers in general and have great admiration for anyone who does the job well. Male or female. People seem to love to dissemble here and it is rather droll for what should be a feminist cause discussed by women.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm posting my own knowledge and experience. You are posting your opinion. It's how discussion forums work.

I didn't imply that they don't care in general, that is rather a ridiculous statement. What I want is assurance that the day I cannot care for myself there is someone there who does. That for me is rather more important than same sex care. All the while I believe same sex care should exist for those who require it. Could you indeed start an argument alone in a room? I think so. Common sense must apply and the ability to listen to others.

I was a carer for 20+ years (mainly domiciliary), and provided personal care for men and women. A couple of ladies didn't mind a male carer showering them. I was in the unfortunate position to need care myself, a few years ago, following a stroke - I was in hospital for 6 weeks. Occasionally, a male nurse or carer washed and toileted me. I was horrified but realised I needed help and had to accept any help available at the time.

Putting a camera in a room where someone is under Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS) is generally not allowed without their consent or a court order as it can be considered a significant intrusion of privacy, potentially violating their human rights.

I think if carer was valued more and was better paid it would attract more suitable applicants but many in the care sector do care, it's not fair to imply they don't.

What we must have is safety and the ability to feel safe. As I have reiterated rather too many times, it is not about rights to same sex care, those are necessary for many known situations. It is about enabling people to feel safe and comfortable in general. Allowances can be made where necessary but it cannot be across the board due to that causing issues where someone does need care and an appropriate sexed person unavailable. Were that reduced to simple care homes and indeed not other medical care, it could still involve elderly people left in unsanitary, unsafe or unmedicated situations if the "right" care is unavailable. So ensuring that any person feels comfortable and safe with any qualified and properly supervised care would be a must. All must have read the cases of women neglecting or abusing elderly patients in their care. There is no guarantee of safety nor dignity in same sex care and were a loved one in care I would need rather more assurance than that. To do otherwise is terribly short sighted. Put a damn camera in every room and have a third party company in charge of assurance or do something that keeps our vulnerable safe without pulling the wool over anyone's eyes about whether those who work in care are safe dependent on sex. To some it is just a job and a detested one and no love or care is in it and certainly no respect.

Sago
Male carers abuse women with learning disabilities, they masturbate over them and even have sex with them. I know many of you may not want to think about this but some of us have to. It has nothing to do with common sense, lots f people just don't have it. It is to do with protecting very vulnerable people from abuse.

a friend of mine , a widow, was discharged from hospital and the NHS follow up care package sent a young male to shower her. She could not accept that so she asked him to do some jobs in the kitchen like washing up. He did not have a clue. Very unsatisfactory.

Every time I read this tread title I think it's about same sex careers!
🙄

Galaxy Maddyone It was 25 years ago, I was 35, it was surreal and caused the biggest furore ever, as a result a lot of malpractice came to light in the hospital.

I am over it now but I was so vulnerable at the time as I could only speak in a hoarse whisper, trying to scream and not being able to is frightening .

Being at others mercy in a hospital/nursing home situation is bad enough but then having a carer you mistrust or feel uncomfortable with is awful.

I always feel for Jimmy Saville’s poor victims in the hospitals he volunteered in, poor, poor girls and women.

consent, dignity, and cultural norms

This is precisely it, as Doodledog says.
Excellent post Doodledog.

Sago what a terrible experience. So sorry.

I am so sorry Sago that sounds horrendous.

After reading all your posts, I feel that yes we should have a right to a same sex carer.

There was a case at our local hospital concerning a male midwife, he was struck off for many reasons, he clearly had no respect for women and perhaps joined the profession so he could dominate women.

I was a patient in hospital and extremely vulnerable due to the nature of my surgery and the fact I could not speak/shout when I had a knife held at my throat by a male patient, it was the most dreadful experience that left me with PTSD.

Because of this I really feel for any patient male or female that cannot advocate for themselves, the thought of living in dread that a certain carer may come and attend to me and I have no way of defending myself is frightening.

I appreciate a same sex carer is also capable of abuse or neglect.

It would be an expense but if we can feed, clothe and house thousand of immigrants then I’m sure we could manage this.

Consent, dignity and cultural norms.
Flipping right, that was a great post.
I would also add respect, respect for a group such as those with learning disabilities who are never at the forefront of anyones campaign for rights.

Totally agree, Doodledog. Some people may be absolutely fine with having carers of either sex perform intimate tasks, but others may well find that quite distressing, and not from a 'sexual' point of view. Is that so hard for people to understand?