Should we all have the right to a same sex carer?

I work in Care and have done for nearly 20 years now
In our care home, the residents can say if they prefer a female only for personal care
Personally, I would not want a male giving me personal care

Simple answer, yes, we should have that right.

No, I don’t think it’s possible. Who would look after all the ill men who needed care?

Yes of course.
It is not so easy for men to have a same sex carer because of the predominance of females in care. The risks are obviously less though.

The question was not phrased in a way that referred only to women having the right to a same sex carer. Dignity issues are equally important to men, but people seem prepared to brush that aside.

Galaxy

Yes of course.
It is not so easy for men to have a same sex carer because of the predominance of females in care. The risks are obviously less though.

We have enough male carers in our home to facilitate if that is their wish…

When my mother went into care she was asked about this and she said only a female carer for personal care. This was respected and I think that’s exactly how it should be. There were male carers in the home who could provide personal care for the (far fewer) male residents.

The same when she was at home. She specified female carers, and only female carers came.

18% of carers are male. 11% of registered nurses are male.

A tricky one this one. I, personally, would not mind. After all, women have always accepted being treated by male doctors.

On the other hand, I don't feel it is right that women and men should have no choice in the matter and not be consulted about the sex of their carer.

Yes we did too, Shinmae, ( I ran a care home for children and young adults) but it wont always be the case.

I would think that most women and men would prefer someone of their own sex for personal care and they should be able to have their preferred choice of possible.

I never experienced a man who objected to a female doing personal care, although some objected to a male carer and many preferred a female carer.

Casdon

The question was not phrased in a way that referred only to women having the right to a same sex carer. Dignity issues are equally important to men, but people seem prepared to brush that aside.

That’s absolutely true, but it’s up to men to campaign for more male carers so that they can have a choice.
Every time I’ve had a male doctor in or out of hospital there has been a female in attendance.

What is the reason for that do you suppose?

DH in hospital recently was cared for by females, one ant a time even for an catheter and was quite happy with that.

Definitely.

Intimate medical examinations are not conducted by a single person of the opposite sex and intimate care should be the same.

Slightly off track, I thought I was quite liberal in my views and when aSpa asked if I was ok with a male masseur I blithely said yes. He was professional and did absolutely nothing that could be thought inappropriate but I hated it, especially towards the top of my legs and arms and around my back towards the sides. On alert you might say.

I wasn’t old and vulnerable, people were in the corridor and just next door, he was just doing his job. But the unjustified but nevertheless very real feeling of threat and the possibility of abuse has stayed with me for years.

I think your friends mother was very very sensible.

I would certainly not want a male carer helping me to take a shower.
Last year, I had surgery which left me extremely immobile but whilst in hospital I was not offered a commode or a bedpan and had to physically get out of bed to go to the toilet. Due to the anaesthetic I was having to drink a great deal of water and I was also cannulated and was having fluids IV. Hence, I was peeing a great deal.
During the night I was always attended by a male HCA who escorted me to the toilet but when I get to the point of dropping my knickers to get on the loo I told him very firmly "you can leave me to it, I will call you when I am done".
I honestly felt that he would have stood and watched me having a pee.........where is the dignity in that??

I think people should have the choice, getting older appears to lead to loss of self worth sometimes and fewer choices.

I think it also depends on the attitudes and attributes of the individual carer. My 102 year old friend was recently in hospital. She mentioned a female nurse who she was sure didn’t like her and went so far as to say she’d felt frightened of this nurse who’d spoken sharply to her a few times. However she also praised the male nurse who took care of her so gently and kindly. Although 102 this lady is very sharp and astute mentally, just very frail physically.

OldFrill

I never experienced a man who objected to a female doing personal care, although some objected to a male carer and many preferred a female carer.

It happens very regularly on wards, but it’s impossible to provide 24 hour male nursing care. We assume men aren’t bothered, because it’s the way care and nursing are structured. Many of them though - they don’t get asked. I find it very sad, but there are also many people, particularly older people, who strongly object to people with a different skin colour looking after them. in an ideal world, everybody would have a choice of carer or nurse, but we aren’t in an ideal world, we’re in a situation where the choice is unfortunately take what is available or receive no care, particularly in the community.

I think so, it's a dignity issue and I'm sure many men would feel the same.

I have also noticed when I've had an occasional appointment with a male doctor for a couple of different issues in the past few years, there has been a female in attendance.

Casdon

18% of carers are male. 11% of registered nurses are male.

A male doctor examining a female needs a chaperone but a male carer performing intimate care on a female can do so alone. Make it make sense.

Given the figures you've quoted above Casdon you would think there should never be an absolute need for a male carer to be the only available care for a female.

To those who understand how rotas work, and what percentage of care is provided by a lone worker, that’s illogical Rosie51- and ignores the right of men who make up just under 50% of the caseload, to have a male carer. Doctors (over 50% of joiners are now female) can feasibly have chaperones because of the way they treat patients, but they do not provide care in the same way that nurses and carers do.

I don't think human rights extend to having every last thing we want! If we pay for our own care, I imagine there'd be a choice - so pay for it! Besides, I doubt whether the NHS staffing base would be able to offer that kind of personal choice. Personally, I've always been happy to get what I'm given when I need nursing help - the alternative (that is, going without entirely) isn't attractive!

Casdon

The question was not phrased in a way that referred only to women having the right to a same sex carer. Dignity issues are equally important to men, but people seem prepared to brush that aside.

Traditionally nursing and care work was predominantly staffed by women and men have been used to women providing personal care for them for a long time.

It is not such an issue as it is for women having personal care administered by men.

We have no male GPs at our surgery now; it would be a good thing if they employed a man but years ago all our GPs were male.
For intimate examinations a female nurse was in attendance at our GP surgery years ago because one GP had had complaints made that he was very rough, which I can confirm he was.
He left, thank goodness.

Casdon

To those who understand how rotas work, and what percentage of care is provided by a lone worker, that’s illogical Rosie51- and ignores the right of men who make up just under 50% of the caseload, to have a male carer. Doctors (over 50% of joiners are now female) can feasibly have chaperones because of the way they treat patients, but they do not provide care in the same way that nurses and carers do.

That doesn't address the point of why a male doctor can need a chaperone but not a carer. Why does the doctor need one?
The thinly veiled insult about understanding rotas is confusing. Are you saying that with only 18% of carers and 11% of nurses being male there are times when the whole rota comprises males? That wouldn't suggest thoughtful planning. I'm concerned with female preferences, if men want to have same sex care then they need to campaign for it, the same way women have had to fight for everything they want, often against male opposition.