If anyone does have or need a stoma - please do not think of this as something terrible. I was in my forties when I developed very bad ulcerative colitus - needing to use the loo up to 20 or 30 times a day. I was treated with steroids, both by pills and internally. Was really poorly for all that time, needing daily sleep and being scared to go out anywhere unless I knew exactly where the toilets were.
I resisted an operation, which was recommended by the COnsultant, thinking that I was far too young (still had young children) to have such a bag, Only when the first signs of it turning cancerous did I finally consent to that.
It was a major operation, not helped by the fact that it was messed up and I required three further ones within the following 48 hours and a long stay in Intensive Care. For most of that time I was not conscious, so my older children bore the brunt of it with being told to say 'Goodbye to your Mother, each time you leave her bedside'.
But I did recover and after two months was back at home. Took a good time for me fully recover, but once I did and learned to cope with my ileostomy, I felt so very much better than I had for years. I know I lost nearly a decade through my obstinance.
Thirty five years of living with a bag, very few of my friends and aquaintences know - no reason for them to do so. I have lived a totally normal life for those years, just slightly different in the toilet department. I was an Amateur Swimming Official and this required me sitting and moving around on poolside wearing all white clothing in front of packed spectator galleries. First few times were an ordeal, but all always went well.
Please do not think of ostomies as being disabling or dreadful, they can - as they did with me - give you back your life and there is nothing it will prevent you doing in the future.
