Weight gain

Why ask how to react? Do you need advice on every interaction with a friend.
You sound as if you are obsessed with this issue.
You could always try talking about something else?

Maybe what she means is "I know I'm overweight - and I should do something about it - but I've got a lot of other stuff on my plate right now - so getting back to correct weight has to take lower priority. I will get round to it when I can - ie when I've offloaded some other hassles/problems off my plate".

That I can understand.

I'm supposed to be size 14 personally (ie modern vanity size 10-12 clothes labels) and I think I'm vanity size 16/maybe even vanity size 18 at the moment. Not one person seems to realise I'm overweight - but I know I am and I have the 1970s clothes to prove it.

I will get round to focusing hard on it - but right now there's still other issues to deal with and I'm trying to focus on one or two that are even more important at a time. Maybe that's what she is really thinking? and she will get round to "Focus hard on the weight loss" when other even bigger problems stop demanding attention??

If you are settled with a man that neglects his own body (which maybe she is?) and/or you've got to an agegroup or part of the country where the men as men "arent worth dating" imo then it doesnt feel so urgent I guess....

sarahr
I have been reading Ultra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken. It gives a huge insight into why we are gaining weight. It is down to diet and not enough activity
I’m reading Chris Van Tulleken’s book at the moment and that’s not what he says(Chapter8).
He says that’s what a lot of people thought in the past, but recent studies have shown that people burn 2000 -2500 calories a day whether they sit & watch tv all day or go on a strenuous hike.
It’s the amount of food eaten that’s important, and people are simply eating more than they used to. Specifically more UPF which messes with our brains and feelings of satiety, making us eat more than we need.

Another overweight Gran with low thyroid here. Try to eat fairly healthily and avoid UPFs. Three smallish meals and (nearly) no snacks. I do wear a fitbit but find it hard to exercise. Has anyone been given any advice/guidelines on losing weight in these circumstances? I don’t want to go on a fixed diet as DH. will revolt and don’t want to cook twice.

My weight was always on the low side, but once I hit 45 it just ballooned. Thyroid checked out OK, but no help from doc for the 1st 4 stones despite pleas. Finally a referral to the weight clinic who were very dismissive - they do not think 14 stone is excessive enough to bother them. Lots of weight related medical issues later, I got a referral to Slimming world. Time that help was available before you hit obesity - would save a lot of NHS money.
The new drugs will only help those who overeat.

Tell her that if she is worried, she should consult her doc though, who will a) see if she is actually overweight, b) look for any medical reasons c) give better advice on help than I got

That sounded really cheeky to me . You probably didn't mean to be.

Sarahr

I have been reading Ultra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken. It gives a huge insight into why we are gaining weight. It is down to diet and not enough activity. My friend has recently lost 6 kilos due to revising her diet. She eats very tasty meals and still has treats too. She has a way to go but is already reaping the benefits. We have cut a lot of processed foods from our diet and feel so much better already. Worth reading the book.

it is down to diet and not enough activity Good lord, that’s genius 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m not slim but not too overweight either. Since having to take 12 heart pills a day after heart attack 2 years ago, I have noticed my tummy and abdomen have definitely increased in girth. I think it’s an energy issue- heart being controlled so metabolism is reduced. Could your friend be on high blood pressure tablets, beta blockers or blood thinners?

I certainly wouldn’t ask her if she wanted my advice! That would really nark me!

Don't say anything.

Homestead62 I too have an underactive thyroid which has definitely affected my weight over the years.

Last October I decided enough was enough and started calorie counting on a daily basis of under 1,500 Cals a day I have very slowly lost 16 lbs. The first few weeks were hard but now I am used to smaller meals and don’t feel hungry.

I will show you the book that has really helped me.

I have been reading Ultra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken. It gives a huge insight into why we are gaining weight. It is down to diet and not enough activity. My friend has recently lost 6 kilos due to revising her diet. She eats very tasty meals and still has treats too. She has a way to go but is already reaping the benefits. We have cut a lot of processed foods from our diet and feel so much better already. Worth reading the book.

My very good friend always advised those wanting to lose weight to eat the same food as usual but half the quantity. So one slice of bread or biscuit or potato instead of 2. Etc etc.
It worked well for her and is very doable.

I think OPs friend brought the subject up herself so OP needed some advice in case she brought it up again. The above would be my advice.

I totally agree it’s a statement not a question, I have dieted all my life but after doing every diet possible and hardly losing , doctors have come to the conclusion that due to long term antidepressant use (37 years) my metabolism is shot and so I have to accept I am what I am and just try to keep a rein on what I eat . So I wouldn’t want anyone making me feel bad

Thank you.

Wise words - thank you very much!
Personally, we do love our holidays, and have quite a few over the year ( at present) . Also, we do a lot of socialising- going out to eat etc with friends. All sorts of nice food & drink is enjoyed then. I would never attempt to be on a restricted diet if a visitor, or out with others.
When at home I tend to eat a high protein diet & lots of veg. ( tend to avoid many carbs or much fruit).
We miss breakfast and eat at lunchtime, healthy snack mid afternoon, and then dinner about 7pm. Seems to work for us - keeping weight in check. Also I’ve never gone up a clothes size- I do have an iron will at times. Prefer savoury to sweet stuff so nuts or cheese or a few crisps are my snacks- if needed. I have come from an overweight family so I became determined not to join them.

To defend or explain for SusieHi. I’ve had an under active thyroid since my twenties and it is also rampant throughout my family however it’s only in the latter years that some not all have had a tendency to suffer too much with weight problems through anything more than poor diet. Perhaps we have been fortunate. None of us have been skinny but within a reasonably proportionate size with no real hang ups.

SuziHi, if you do not mind me asking a personal question? How do you get the weight down with thyroid issues? Especially when you have difficulty exercising. Apologies for derailing the thread but I'd genuinely like to know.

A friend called today for coffee and she has lost a lot of weight recently.
I didn't mention it and neither did she but she has been treated for cancer so presumably it's due to that.

We talked about other things.

Maybe your friend genuinely wanted to know how you manage to keep your weight under control and was looking for a few tips.

Very wise words from all previous posters, be her friend, we are all grownups and make our own decisions.

Did you feel she was criticising you for your attempts to stay thin? If so, don't worry about it.

You have each made a decision as to what is best for yourself.

There is no need to think any more about it.

If she should bring the topic up again, ask her if she wants your advice and say that you do not feel you can advise her. That should end any further discussions.

.

She's not asking for your opinion, so why are you asking for ours?
.

I speak out the way your friend did. I know it irritates people but I can’t help my personality it really is the way I am. I try to explain it as thinking out loud.
No really looking for comments or trying to make any points just saying what is.

GrannySomerset

UTBB has put it exactly right. No need to say anything at all.

I agree.