Weight gain

You don’t have to react any way really she’s told you quite clearly she knows she’s put weight on and doesn’t want to do anything about it at the moment so that’s the end of it isn’t it ?
No need for any reaction she’s not asking for advice or help just made a statement

If she isn’t concerned it really isn’t for you to comment or react in any way.
She knows and is ok with it.
I myself have put on quite a bit of weight, I have mobility problems and get very little exercise and I don’t overeat .
I have shrunk due to osteoporosis so look very squat.
I certainly wouldn’t want friends commenting on the fact, I know without being told and am ok with it.

Don't say anything, just move the conversation on. She has said what she says to make it clear to you that she knows she has put on weight, and that she does not intend to do anything about it and that is the end of the subject as far as she is concerned.

Possibly she is concerned, that given your iron self-control, you are going to start preaching to her and urging her to lose weight, which is off putting and distressing to someone in her situation and could lose you a good friend.

I shouldn't worry about what to say next time the subject arises, because it won't - unless you bring it up - and as you value this friendship you would never do that.

UTBB has put it exactly right. No need to say anything at all.

GrannySomerset

UTBB has put it exactly right. No need to say anything at all.

I agree.

I speak out the way your friend did. I know it irritates people but I can’t help my personality it really is the way I am. I try to explain it as thinking out loud.
No really looking for comments or trying to make any points just saying what is.

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She's not asking for your opinion, so why are you asking for ours?
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Did you feel she was criticising you for your attempts to stay thin? If so, don't worry about it.

You have each made a decision as to what is best for yourself.

There is no need to think any more about it.

If she should bring the topic up again, ask her if she wants your advice and say that you do not feel you can advise her. That should end any further discussions.

Very wise words from all previous posters, be her friend, we are all grownups and make our own decisions.

Maybe your friend genuinely wanted to know how you manage to keep your weight under control and was looking for a few tips.

A friend called today for coffee and she has lost a lot of weight recently.
I didn't mention it and neither did she but she has been treated for cancer so presumably it's due to that.

We talked about other things.

SuziHi, if you do not mind me asking a personal question? How do you get the weight down with thyroid issues? Especially when you have difficulty exercising. Apologies for derailing the thread but I'd genuinely like to know.

To defend or explain for SusieHi. I’ve had an under active thyroid since my twenties and it is also rampant throughout my family however it’s only in the latter years that some not all have had a tendency to suffer too much with weight problems through anything more than poor diet. Perhaps we have been fortunate. None of us have been skinny but within a reasonably proportionate size with no real hang ups.

Wise words - thank you very much!
Personally, we do love our holidays, and have quite a few over the year ( at present) . Also, we do a lot of socialising- going out to eat etc with friends. All sorts of nice food & drink is enjoyed then. I would never attempt to be on a restricted diet if a visitor, or out with others.
When at home I tend to eat a high protein diet & lots of veg. ( tend to avoid many carbs or much fruit).
We miss breakfast and eat at lunchtime, healthy snack mid afternoon, and then dinner about 7pm. Seems to work for us - keeping weight in check. Also I’ve never gone up a clothes size- I do have an iron will at times. Prefer savoury to sweet stuff so nuts or cheese or a few crisps are my snacks- if needed. I have come from an overweight family so I became determined not to join them.

Thank you.

I totally agree it’s a statement not a question, I have dieted all my life but after doing every diet possible and hardly losing , doctors have come to the conclusion that due to long term antidepressant use (37 years) my metabolism is shot and so I have to accept I am what I am and just try to keep a rein on what I eat . So I wouldn’t want anyone making me feel bad

My very good friend always advised those wanting to lose weight to eat the same food as usual but half the quantity. So one slice of bread or biscuit or potato instead of 2. Etc etc.
It worked well for her and is very doable.

I think OPs friend brought the subject up herself so OP needed some advice in case she brought it up again. The above would be my advice.

I have been reading Ultra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken. It gives a huge insight into why we are gaining weight. It is down to diet and not enough activity. My friend has recently lost 6 kilos due to revising her diet. She eats very tasty meals and still has treats too. She has a way to go but is already reaping the benefits. We have cut a lot of processed foods from our diet and feel so much better already. Worth reading the book.

Homestead62 I too have an underactive thyroid which has definitely affected my weight over the years.

Last October I decided enough was enough and started calorie counting on a daily basis of under 1,500 Cals a day I have very slowly lost 16 lbs. The first few weeks were hard but now I am used to smaller meals and don’t feel hungry.

I will show you the book that has really helped me.

Don't say anything.

I certainly wouldn’t ask her if she wanted my advice! That would really nark me!

I’m not slim but not too overweight either. Since having to take 12 heart pills a day after heart attack 2 years ago, I have noticed my tummy and abdomen have definitely increased in girth. I think it’s an energy issue- heart being controlled so metabolism is reduced. Could your friend be on high blood pressure tablets, beta blockers or blood thinners?

Sarahr

I have been reading Ultra-Processed People by Chris van Tulleken. It gives a huge insight into why we are gaining weight. It is down to diet and not enough activity. My friend has recently lost 6 kilos due to revising her diet. She eats very tasty meals and still has treats too. She has a way to go but is already reaping the benefits. We have cut a lot of processed foods from our diet and feel so much better already. Worth reading the book.

it is down to diet and not enough activity Good lord, that’s genius 🤦🏼‍♀️

That sounded really cheeky to me . You probably didn't mean to be.