Fear of ageing.

I retired early and can honestly say it has been the happiest time of my life.I have loved doing what I want ,when I want,getting up when I feel like it and staying up late without any thoughts of what I have to do next day.
I think I must have been born lazy or missed out on the life of luxury which should have been my fate.

I dont think I worry so much about getting old and dying. I just dont want to get old and be grumpy.

There’s many things you can do sitting down Lesley to occupy you or even make you useful to society you are very young to be ‘giving up’ and you won’t necessarily miss your grandaughters milestones and if you do you won’t be sad because you won’t be a ‘thinking being’ any more, but what you are doing is missing a wonderful part of your life and her life, right now, while you are dwelling on the ‘can’t dos’ and dismissing the ‘can dos’
Give up when you stop breathing not whilst you still can

Everyday I say to myself , I need to do my POA and I still haven’t done it . Tomorrow’s the day 🤞

I think about dying a lot. I worry that my son will find me in a terrible position like in the bath or semi naked in bed when it’s too hot.
I only really think about it in a 3rd person sort of way though because I can’t really imagine it happening to me. I think of it more like something other people do 🤷‍♀️

I think some counselling would be in order here, this is not right. You also sound depressed crying over a post like this and the worry you appear to experience. How about asking your GP for some counselling, most surgeries have social prescribers connected to the surgery who will be great support to you. If not Talk Talk is a self referral counselling organisation and very good they are too. Don't let this situation go on so you eventually cannot get out of this rot. My mobility is not good either but I lead a very active life and volunteer full time as well, they should be no stopping you at 66. I am 80+ and intend to carry on as long as I possibly can. Your granddaughter need a happy granddaughter to do things with her, most of which you can still do. Be happy, be positive, and live your life like everyday is the last day of your life.

Retirement is great - especially if you have your health. So much to do and see. I have secondary breast cancer which holds me back from doing all the things I would love to do so I do the things I can manage. I’m grateful for every single day I am here. I am 59. So you’ve finished with your job? Find another one. Retrain. Volunteer. Just don’t waste your time wishing for your old job.

HeavenLeigh

I’ve got two rare illnesses and I’m very positive I’m not a worrier and take things as they come. I get knocked back all the time regarding health luckily I just get on with things I. Certainly not worrying aboht the future who knows what tomorrow will bring! And worrying I would imagine is a waste of time makes things worse and solves nothing! I’m just very happy to wake up every morning, full of gratitude for the things I have got in my life like a great husband good family and friends.

What a brilliant post,lovely to hear something so positive…👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I don't worry about getting old or dying it's more that I worry about how I'll die. I have seen and heard so many dreadful tales of friends and family on trolleys in corridors, catching infections in hospital, being wrongly diagnosed, delayed treatment and not exactly being cared for in care homes and so on. Unless there is someone able and willing to fight your corner then it seems your care is a toss of the coin.

I never really thought about it. Then I had a nasty fall - my mobility disappeared and I have spent a fortune getting back on my feet (no NHS for osteopaths, physio waiting list 10 months and then useless).
But my doc has been very active in checking me over since - sadly that has meant a number of scans, pills etc that I was happy enough without, so NOW I feel old suddenly.

But I have forced myself out of the chair, taken up swimming and exercise for the elderly. I volunteer at the local school listening to the little ones read. I am still active in Girlguiding (who are short of help these days with so many mums working - little plug here).
But I now work too
- I am a poll clerk, and you would think sitting from 6 am to 10pm hard work, but it is lovely to talk to the "regulars" and it goes swiftly, and is only once in a while
- I am a casual exams invigilator, which means I work in spells to fill gaps, mostly November/January and June and can choose my days
My friend is a proof reader, another is a befriender

Our local U3A is so active that I do not really have the time for that

We have a choice. We can spend our time worrying about death, or we can realise that it's inevitable and therefore it's a waste of time to spoil our days by worrying about it. Just put it aside.
And then try to fill what time we have left by finding things that make us happy, or try to be of use to other people, or just do whatever floats your boat. The world is full of wonderful things to explore and enjoy. Don't spoil it by worrying about the inevitable.

When I retired it seemed that fate took a hand. We found ourselves doing things that we didn't expect. Older parent suddenly needed more help, out days were taken over by his needs, other people have said the same, it's as if life has a plan for us and we just have to go along with it.

I'm a year off reaching 88, the most common age for women to die in England, so I read online recently.

What I think is this. We had a chance in millions, the scientists say trillions, of even being here at all, of experiencing life with all its wonders and its perils, its pleasures and disappointments - and as human beings.

I imagine death to be either the start of something new according to what our beliefs are, or a return to where we were before, which is nowhere, with all our other potential might-have-been sisters and brothers, friends etc.. who didn't make it here.

So nothing to lose really. My only worry is who will look out for my lovely, kind, generous oldest daughter who has schizophrenia , until it's her turn to go.

Stillness, please don't worry about what is out of your control ( sez me 🤔 ) . Be grateful for the good things - and retirement can be one of them.

Try marking out some things that you can look forward to, be they big or small. A holiday to save up for, a book you can't wait to read ( or write ), adopting a homeless pet maybe or joining others in a cause you have always felt strongly about. You'll know what yourself.
Good luck. Take care.

I'm 87 AN41, so am now wondering if this is my final year 😁.
But you are right, it's a miracle to be here at all, to be the egg that got fertilised and therefore experience this amazing life.
So I'm trying to be philosophical and just accept the inevitable.
I filled out a health survey once which said I'll live to be 92. So 88 or 92 , who knows. We'll see.

henetha

I'm 87 AN41, so am now wondering if this is my final year 😁.
But you are right, it's a miracle to be here at all, to be the egg that got fertilised and therefore experience this amazing life.
So I'm trying to be philosophical and just accept the inevitable.
I filled out a health survey once which said I'll live to be 92. So 88 or 92 , who knows. We'll see.

Well Henetha, it's just a "common" age - so let's buck the trend, eh?
Forward Ho !

This is so strange to me. I have been thinking about it for days.

I just met a lady whos grandmother just completed an end of life, doctor prescribed, ritual. She was 93 and had no illness or ailments.

I never thought this thing would bother me but it did. She left 14 grandchildren.

Macadia

I just met a lady whos grandmother just completed an end of life, doctor prescribed, ritual. She was 93 and had no illness or ailments.

I never thought this thing would bother me but it did. She left 14 grandchildren.

That's quite something to reach 93 without any illness! That when she had children too (ie pregnancies and childbirth gone through). It seems to be highly unusual (unfortunately) for people not to have any illness and I can't think of anyone at all that I know (or knew) that was always healthy. Everyone seems to have at least one health problem (and that's just counting the chronic illness - not "once and done and that's the end of it" type illnesses.

I'm convinced there's a sort of Sods Law that applies to the vast majority of people - ie that you spend many years (more likely decades) working towards "getting your Life sorted out - no body problems/no money problems/no Life problems etc" and just as you think "Reaching the finishing line - got it sorted AT LAST - and something else crops up (probably illness)" and you maybe never get your life fully sorted and you can just get on and live it.

As I pointed out on a totally different forum today - in response to someone's comments about he reckons the first stages of Heaven for most people are "consensus realities" (ie pretty much as their lives were on Earth - but without any problems) - that maybe many of us need that initially for a while - just so we actually have some time where everything is absolutely sorted out/no risk of any issues arising from anywhere (our body/our Society/etc) just so that we can have a while where everything is exactly as we planned for/worked towards but never managed to achieve and there was always the risk of Society getting up to something bad that would affect us (wars, contagious illnesses, governments overreaching themselves, etc).

I was thinking that maybe the grandma had illness but told no one.

Definitely, AN41. We'll show 'em !

This may sound strange. I have no fear of getting old or dying but I just feel sad at losing my youth. I am surrounded by young people who have so many opportunities and I really wish that I'd done a lot of things differently as I did have a choice but as they say 'You can't put an old head on young shoulders'

henetha

We have a choice. We can spend our time worrying about death, or we can realise that it's inevitable and therefore it's a waste of time to spoil our days by worrying about it. Just put it aside.
And then try to fill what time we have left by finding things that make us happy, or try to be of use to other people, or just do whatever floats your boat. The world is full of wonderful things to explore and enjoy. Don't spoil it by worrying about the inevitable.

That’s the spirit!😃

AN41

I'm a year off reaching 88, the most common age for women to die in England, so I read online recently.

What I think is this. We had a chance in millions, the scientists say trillions, of even being here at all, of experiencing life with all its wonders and its perils, its pleasures and disappointments - and as human beings.

I imagine death to be either the start of something new according to what our beliefs are, or a return to where we were before, which is nowhere, with all our other potential might-have-been sisters and brothers, friends etc.. who didn't make it here.

So nothing to lose really. My only worry is who will look out for my lovely, kind, generous oldest daughter who has schizophrenia , until it's her turn to go.

Stillness, please don't worry about what is out of your control ( sez me 🤔 ) . Be grateful for the good things - and retirement can be one of them.

Try marking out some things that you can look forward to, be they big or small. A holiday to save up for, a book you can't wait to read ( or write ), adopting a homeless pet maybe or joining others in a cause you have always felt strongly about. You'll know what yourself.
Good luck. Take care.

What a lovely message and worth re-reading for all of us.

I just wish I could live up to it, Oreo.