House of Commons discussion on bladder and bowel control in adults and children

Dead right. Great Pointd

I am really struggling with these problems at the mo. Actually waiting for a phone call to get an appointment time as l am typing this up.

Bladder problems are not usually life
threatening but can be embarassing and can really comtrol your life.

🤞👍

Gr8dame

I carry a “just can’t wait” card and the day I was turned away from a Sue Ryder charity shop in my town is ingrained in my memory. It is not easy asking to use a toilet when you have a medical need but to be told “no” is completely humiliating.

I’m truly shocked that a charity shop such as this turned you down! My dear friend and I had a similar experience in a Premier Inn on an A road, with nothing else around.

windmill1

Well I hope throwing a light on these health conditions will also lead to some serious scrutiny of the woeful lack of public conveniences, supervised and maintained to acceptable hygiene standards.

Yes! As one who sadly suffers from both bowel and bladder issues more public loos please! I do have a radar key but even disabled loos are hard to find.

Thanks for sharing OP

I think the use of babyish words is for clarity.
And also in an attempt to reduce the stigma surrounding such issues.
Most people have had to use those words when dealing with small children as they are commonly used in nurseries etc.
Also for clarity. I remember one of those GP programmes where a patient had brought the wrong sample because he had literally not understood what was needed.
When the doctor used babyish terms he understood perfectly.

Homestead62

Well up here in Scotland they should come and look as the lack of public toilets is shocking! Edinburgh, the capital is absolutely abysmal. Most cities are. As for businesses letting you use their facilities, forget it. The place is awash with ' toilets for customers only' notices. At just about £4 for a coffee, it's a very expensive toilet. The Covid excuse wears thin. Park and Ride facilities see the toilets closed and men including bus drivers having to go around the back of the building to do their business. What women do, heaven knows. No wonder we all get constant UTIs. A disgrace and an embarrassment. Sorry, rant over.

You rant as much as you want. It is a disgraceful state of affairs. I live in SE England and it is just the same here. I have got to the point when I reduce my drinks if I am going out somewhere without any toilets.

I had recurrent UTI's for years about 18 months ago I was prescribed Hiprex it's been a Godsend, I've not had one since.

Silverbrooks this was exactly my thought.
I'd definitely contact her - not to punish the ignorant worker but to encourage training and acceptance.

Gr8dame That is why Sonia Kumah MP said: I have five concrete asks for the Minister. First, we need a public information campaign to raise awareness and smash the stigma.

Charity shops will employ perhaps fifty or sixty volunteers in a week doing a morning or afternoon shift each. They are unlikely to have had been trained to even know that an Urgent Can’t Wait card exists or what it means. It’s the whole Chinese whispers, we can’t accept donated knitting needles myth that still permeates the charity sector, the health and safety excuse that is simply an excuse to say no.

Considering Sue Ryder is about supporting terminal illness and that a dying person could well be suffering loss of bladder and bowel control, I find that attitude shocking. I would be writing to the the CEO of that charity to ask for their comments and what they propose to do about making staff aware that they need to treat people with dignity. Even if this was a long time ago, you might consider doing it now.

The CEO of Sue Ryder since November 2024 is Melanie Craig. her CV says: She has over 20 years of senior leadership experience in the NHS, including as CEO of an Integrated Care System (ICS) and Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG), and worked in the national team leading policy on General Practice and Primary Care. Melanie has been motivated and passionate about tackling inequalities and injustice throughout her career.

Inequalities and justice.

Perhaps she is just the person to be spearheading a campaign for the charity shop sector to recognise and honour the card.

I carry a “just can’t wait” card and the day I was turned away from a Sue Ryder charity shop in my town is ingrained in my memory. It is not easy asking to use a toilet when you have a medical need but to be told “no” is completely humiliating.

Lathyrus3

Is part of the “funny” problem though, that we use trite babyish names like “wee” and “poo”? Perhaps if people would say “urine” and “faeces” in everyday use, we would not be so giggly about problems?

Well said.

Years ago the county council where we lived closed the public toilets for cost reasons. This was a high-tourism area.

The landlord of the only pub in the village told me that he now faced a huge increase in tourists popping in to use to use the pub toilets ( without buying any food or drink)But now he had coachloads coming just to use the toilets His costs had risen by £300 a week to cover extra paper, soap power for hot water , hand driers, paper towels and a huge amount of extra cleaning ).

What was even worse was the number of tourists relieving themselves (not just pee!) in private gardens of ordinary homes; including mine; absolutely disgusting.

A large metropolitan borough south of Manchester has closed all public toilets except for a block in the main shopping centre. There are none at all in the outlying towns, even in public parks. The reason given is vandalism - and I have seen the dire state of many of them, often cleaned/repaired/painted only to be vandalised again within a week. It must be a hobby of the local yobbos, but the council simply can't afford to keep them serviceable. It also applied to the "disabled" facilities. What does the council do?

When I registered my father's death 8 years ago (a stressful business especially as I have IBS) the registry office had no public toilet. Their advice was to go to Debenhams across the road.

The Green party closing the toilets in Brighton was partly responsible for them losing the election and Labour has reopened them, and is refurbishing them. We really need to do something about mindless vandalism though.

I’m glad this is being discussed. I think we’ve made massive progress over the last 20 years but more needs to be done and hopefully now things will improve

Hi silverlining Hidden Disabilities (hdsunflower.com) sell official disability items through Amazon as well as their own site, probably due to their global coverage.
hdsunflower.com/

Silverbrooks

That was one of the many issues discussed in particular with regard to the lack of waste disposal bins in male toilets for men who need to wear pads, and better facilities for people who have a stoma and need to empty and replace a colostomy bag.

Part of the discussion was about shops and businesses making their toilets available for people who suffer from urgency. I have Crohn's and carry an Urgent Can't Wait card from Crohn's and Colitis UK. I have never been refused but not all staff are aware that some disabilities are invisible. The hestitate, say they have to ask permission of somebody else ... which is problematic when one can't wait!

Talking of stomas, I have one ...

Where would you think the best stoma bag changing facilities would be? Yes, in the Stoma Clinic at my local hospital.

No, they even have their mirrors in the bathrooms at head height!! If they can't do it right, what hope do we have of anyone else doing it? Ludicrous ... and as most Stoma Nurses now are sponsored by manufacturers, you tend to just get given their bags and aren't told that there are hundreds of different bags that you can choose from should the one you've been given doesn't suit. You are discharged basically on your own, and told to go to the clinic if you have an issue - not easy as you are unable to drive for 6 weeks! A far cry from when I got my stoma 21 years ago when the Stoma Nurses used to come out to see you ...

What a great thread! Our local WI campaigned on the matter of public toilets - approaching both our Town Council and District Council. The better of the two grotty public facilities was subsequently bulldozed because it was "too expensive to run" the cheaper, "very grotty" small with just 2 stainless steel, unsanitary units, were set on fire by the local hoodlums who were obviously not impressed with the facilities either! What with no loos and charging for parking, is it any wonder folk shop at large supermarkets and shopping malls! As a little girl of around 6years old, my mother had to wait with the enormous pram containing my baby sister whilst I went to the underground toilets. The very heavy door trapped my finger, I ended up in Boots with the pharmacist patching me up! My poor mother was distraught and I still have a scar running across my nail to remind me of this frightening experience. These toilets I believe still exist, but have been sealed up and paved over so that's 3 lots of loos nobody can use in my home town in East Anglia. I feel very sorry for anybody who "needs to go" whatever age or gender. It makes any kind of shopping trip very difficult. I hope it's going to be discussed again in HoC and some "encouragement" given to local councils to do something positive about this awful situation. Humble apologies for this very long post, it's been a bugbear of mine for years.....!!

I too suffer from bowel problems, and like so many plan my journeys accordingly, or curtail them, or don’t go out at all.

I would like to add to the discussion about shops making their staff facilities available for those who have an urgent need.

I worked in both large and small retail premises, the smallest having only 2 staff on duty when open.
Lathyrus3 is quite correct about insurance and liability, and as for having to ask permission of another,Silverbrooks, in my experience it wasn’t permission, it was letting the other person know what was happening as one couldn’t just leave the shop floor.

Sounds simple, but in the small unit if that other person was upstairs (where the loos were, next to the staff lockers) I’d wait for them to answer the phone, tell them a customer was on their way, send the customer upstairs where my colleague would be waiting for them, all the while keeping an eye on the shop to make sure no-one needs help or worse is stealing.

It shouldn’t need to be up to shops to let customers use their staff loos, there should be sufficient public ones.

Lathyrus3

Is part of the “funny” problem though, that we use trite babyish names like “wee” and “poo”? Perhaps if people would say “urine” and “faeces” in everyday use, we would not be so giggly about problems?

And I bet GP's get tired of hearing adults use these infantile terms when a patient presents with a potentially serious problem.

Absolutely, all. they don't want the cost. They have one in Sainsbugs of course, but need replacing they are really falling apart tho clean. I guess it's complicated as how would they offer a toilet whilst re-doing? There is a "parent and baby" room, so some leeway.

Yes indeed, Primark in Llandudno does not have a lavatory for shoppers. I asked a gentleman on the dressing room area and he told me "Go to Marks and Spencer, that's the nearest". I do believe such large stores should have a lavatory for
shoppers.

When I'm in my usual locality I'm very aware of the location of suitable publicly open toilets, though not all are disabled friendly so cleaning up isn't easy after a mishap. I have been prescribed Ozempic for my diabetes and along with the weight loss, another side effect is altered bowel function. I can get constipated for days, then once I manage to go can then have a few bouts of diarrhoea the same day. It is a major problem if travelling.

I remember during covid there were very few toilets available. I wasn't on the medication then and still had normal function, but when working on the census I found myself in need and had to drive back from where I was working to the centre of town to where I knew there was a loo. I was concentrating so hard on getting there fast that I strayed into a bus lane and got fined! Cost me £25 to 'spend a penny'! It would have bbeen £50 if I hadn't paid quicky! I'd struggle to do that sort of job now!

I have IBS and am coeliac. Through bitter experience, I've learnt to take an Immodium Instant an hour before going to any new place where I'm unsure of toilet availability (and before going on a motorway trip).

I've designed a formatted letter you could use for your MP:

Dear (MP name),

This bill was brought to my attention with a very good discussion on Gransnet.

On 19 June 2025 House of Commons there was a discussion bladder and bowel control in adults and children and the dreadful lack of facilities by Sonia Kumar. I'd like it to go to committee - cross party - Lords and Commons.

Info in full

parliamentlive.tv/event/index/a73e945f-c65b-4e06-ba46-ac01eb56c644?in=13:47:58

This is the first time these conditions have ever been discussed in the House of Commons.

Hansard details here:

hansard.parliament.uk/commons/2025-06-19/debates/E6C916DD-10CE-4649-80A5-2B16CDFF9B97/Incontinence

Away from the argumentative point-scoring PMQs and other raucous debate, this is what the HoC does best. Intelligent and impassioned discussion about how small changes in service provision could make life a little easier for the estimated 14 million people in the UK who often often suffer embarrassment and social isolation as a result of these conditions.

Please will you forward this in anyway you can? Its little discussed but these days its great to come out of the previous "shame" into opens. It's a major problem for me - I have to plan any outing as regards toilet provision like so many.

Will you consider getting a staff member of yours to take an interest, and use your influence to raise it with (relevant) council and other relevant bodies?

Many thanks for your consideration

Yours etc