BLACK DOG 26

Try singing along with this lyrics version. I'm trying to learn it to sing, so played it at 75%

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pop65vCB6Oo&list=RDPop65vCB6Oo&start_radio=1

HvDY you obviously love spending time with your granddaughters and doing things with them. I loved having ours and our grandson. You do plan lovely trips and treats for them
I woke early with my mind going round and round too. Did it stay dry and did you manage to get to your outdoor event.?
Sweetpeasue i went from living with my mum and dad to living with Dh. Never been on my own before and DH used to take care of me and so many things. I’ve been very dependent too.
Hope you have a good day with your family tomorrow
Scaredycat hope you’re having a lovely trip. Breathe in some good sea air for me please. Have a great time.
Wyllow sounds like Mr Chimney could be a useful person to know. A beneficial arrangement for all re his daughter.
Obviously your past has caused lots of issues for you with abandonment. So awful for you feel you lost both parents at the same time. All these past events mount up and can affect our lives for a long time.
Good you’re out on your bike so much, exercise is good for mental health they say.
Ellie Anne if you regret what you’ve done and the hurt caused then you can be forgiven. If we could all go back and undo the hurt ow wrongs we done I’m sure most of us would because as we grow older we change and become wiser .
I bitterly regret some things I’ve done in my life. We all make mistakes. Big ones. But we can be forgiven if we are truly sorry.
Candy I’m a bit like you not learning to enjoy the moment I’ve got but worrying about the future. Hope you’ve had a really good holiday. I expect your dog will either be very pleased to see you or sulk at being left behind. Nice to see your son too.
I’ve been out for lunch with art friends today. Really enjoyable. Church tomorrow

Candy6 Your holiday sounded idyllic. You're back to some miserable weather . I bet your dog was pleased to see you. Your son, too. The sad feeling you feel when the visit is over - will it be a while before you see your son again?

Wyllow3 You were only young when your dad died, and your mum was too ill, mentally, to "be there" for you, as she was trying to cope with her own grief. Why didn't you go to your dad's funeral? I blamed myself for my brother's death, in 1975, for many years. In truth, it wasn't my fault, and your dad's wasn't yours. I hope you manage to get those things done in your garden - could you have a go at doing the mural yourself?

It's been a boring day - I hadn't heard from Son2 about us meeting, so I contacted him at 11. He and DIL had had a sleepless night, with LG being so snotty and coughing (she was like that yesterday but happy enough in herself), so we didn't meet. It's rained all day since 11ish. Going to theirs for dinner tomorrow at teatime. Hope everyone else has been ok

youtu.be/EmZ3RJobQ_o?si=_OoFuqImLau6dbYU

This is one of my favourites

That is lovely Doodle I am enjoying them as we write. I was glad to read of the good bits in the day.

Yup, I have to keep explaining to new MH workers why the abandonment is so rooted. Even my strong docsis who has seen death and loss many times worries more than one might when her grown up family and DGC come to stay then depart.

Its been a raining all day, which as worked for me as hadpotterin grad a sleep, but must've been tedious for you HVDY
The funeral: Nan had taken over the house an stood guard at mums bedroom door hardly letting us in at all, we didnt get to talk to mum either

Then she came down to me as the eldest saying, "there is going to be a little ceremony, but we are not going as your mum is too upset.
She robbed us of that and has not yet been forgiven, for with support we would all have gone.

No, the mural is really hard work and 8 ft fence and not flat either - needs a couple of young art students.

Wyllow3 That's appalling. Perhaps she thought she was sheltering you from it all, but at 20, you were an adult and didn't need that. Your siblings - maybe. As you say, with support, you could have all gone. Hope you find some arty types to create your mural. What design will it be?

Up later - 7am, which is ok. Faffing about, housework and then Son2's for tea (apparently, 2 different curries, which we all like)

Thats not quite so bad a waking, HVDY.

She was trying to "protect" her daughter, as she had lost her husband to be fair, to either suicide or a terrible accident.

But I don't think it helped mum, it kept it all unreal. Eventually the family had to get rid of her via mums brother, she was actively making it hard for all.

I'm torn on the mural. Ideas welcome HVDY and all.

I'm torn between a seascape, and High Peak hills type background, but lots of sky either way, and clouds across it. It needs to be simple.

Something to look forward to, as you're a total curry lover.

Wyllow3 Your grandmother was really misguided, it seems. I'm not surprised your uncle needed to intervene. Your mural will look great and will be an interesting place to sit and look at. Looking forward to dinner later. The offending bedroom wallpaper. I realise it's because I don't like the grey background. DH says it's fine and that he'll sleep in there (Jaffa and I will keep the kingsized bed then)

what you could do or have done, HVDY, is to use a professional type spray which will overlay the wallpaper with a mist of *acrylic^ paint.
Not enough to cover the whole design, but to lift the background colour. Use a warm creamy off-white of choice: mask the edges off the ceiling of course when doing it.

spray gun like this one
tinyurl.com/zufk7uzh

(worth me looking up for my idea of the end of the garden)

but you might prefer the King size bed.

Today has been quite remarkable. I had a decent sleep but ha the usual low (we all seem to get it) but the sunny day soon lifted it - my, what a day, weather wise.

Quakers, as ever, was very centring and loving. A young man came in, a first timer.

It turned out he had already gone to MfW but not in my town, he has just started a job here. he wanted to know everything at once, where to go in the High Peak, where the Gaza demos were, where the Refugee support networks were, what the food bank situation was.
I handed out a little flyer I'd done as I want to start an occasional group to sing Taise songs.

Then I went to the gym for a fairly vigorous work out, after yesterdays rest up, but of course I wanted to get out into the Botanical Gardens for the sun and trees and early autumn bliss and latte. There were the most beautifully dressed Sudanese woman from a wedding party, and they were kind enough to let me photo them.

I've also thankfully got a contact coming to take my old bike, he has a big enough car, tomorrow. As I associate my old bike with Ex, the past, I wanted it gone, so he was kind enough to do it quickly

There is a charity that repairs/cleans them for Asylum seekers and other people "at the bottom of the pile with no resources" but you have to get the bike to the bike shop that does the work for free for them.

I'll not do much tonight. Slump. I've bought some Korma Paste, bought lentils, have spinach.

My electrician is supposed to be coming early tomorrow, she can be a bit last minute so I've got ready but not sure, (and would prefer not, as it's a busy time).

But it is the little cosy stitching group up the road as well, I want to see if the group still suits me.

MY DocSis is just back but will be overwhelmed so I wont try and ring her till tomorrow at the earliest.

How are other BD's?

HVDY I like the paper I think it’s pretty.
Hope your enjoyed the curry’s with your son. Sounds good two choices.
Sweetpeasue I hope you’ve had a better weekend and DH hasn’t been so breathless. Hope he gets an appointment for the scan soon.
Scaredycat hope you’re enjoying your time by he seaside.
Wyllow hope you find the stitching group still suits you. Nice of you to help the new man to the area.
Church was nice today. Had some tears at some of the hymns and some more later on today but overall not a bad day.

HVDY Your wallpaper design is quite nice I think though nit easy to see how it would look on larger scale. Glad you had a better sleep last night.
Wyllow Im so sorry about the aftermath of your dad's death and not being able to speak to your mum or process it by going to the funeral. That must be ever there in your memory.
You are keeping so busy with so many things you want to do and are doing. Don't wear yourself out but so good to see you enjoying life.
Doodle What a beautiful sound from the meditation link you posted. Such a pure angelic voice and then the choir, thankyou. DH has Angiogram scan next Wednesday and the main one on Carotid and Subclavian arteries on the 8th Oct. Hug for your tears today .xx
Candy What a lovely holiday you had. My son's dog is always joyful to see us so Im sure your own loved to have you back. I do understand that very sad feeling after a visit from one's son and the parting - especially when not able to see them very often. Don't beat yourself up about the complaint around your son's health treatment/care -- when you're so emotionally involved and distraught there's often not enough energy left for anything apart from getting through the days.
Scaredycat Hoping you're having a great holiday.
EllieAnne Thinking of you and hoping you saw friends at church today.

Son and family didn't arrive till well into afternoon ( roads/ traffic dreadful) but we had a late lunch at a pub together then joined other son and family in our village for family catch up.
So tired today and difficult sleeping . Just want weeks to pass till DH gets treated.

Hoping all have a peaceful night and also thinking of those not in but are unable to post.xx

Wyllow sorry I forgot to say how sad you didn’t get to go to the funeral. I suppose people were trying to do what they thought best but it obviously had a lasting effect on you

Yes Doodleit has profoundly affected all 4 of us. Had it been dealt with differently, I believe the outcomes for us would have been better.

Which hymns do you like? Some always affect me. They are bound to be triggers and it carried on. Hugs. I cant imagine it, not having gone through it x

I'm glad it's coming closer, Sweetpeasue. roll on the 8th of October. Was it nice with the family? I imagine, with the fine weather, a lot of people were out and about hence the busy roads.

Yes, today was busy, but the peace of the Quaker meeting, and the all out physical exercise at the gym, and the fresh air = less thoughts going ground my head.

Can you get in a bit of beach sitting/strolling with a coffee with DH while you wait, if this sun carries on?

Wyllow3 I think, for now, I'll leave that wallpaper. DH is happy to sleep in there, anyway. It's good to know that you're now enjoying so many things in life. Were the Sudanese women wearing something extraordinary? The curries were gorgeous, then some chocolate cake that DIL had made.

Doodle Glad you had a decent day overall. I expect some hymns can be quite evocative. We had Beef Rendang and a chicken & apricot curry (neither too spicy as LG had some - she was her usual, entertaining self.

SweetpeaSue I expect a lot of people were out today, making the most of what is likely to be the last of the sunny weather for a while. Nice that you saw both sons together. Our two only meet up when I invite them all here, or for family birthdays.

Just been ordering things online for GD2's birthday, Oct 1st. Hard to believe she'll be 11. Hope everyone has a restful night x

I like the idea of the apricots in a curry.

The UK versions of a Sudanese Wedding uses the traditional colours but combined with more white in them.

This gives you an idea:

www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=dd1f02f6b0b9ce4b&rls=en&sxsrf=AE3TifNa91QXx00q211piJstcEgarCpnoA:1758486788981&udm=2&fbs=AIIjpHxU7SXXniUZfeShr2fp4giZ1Y6MJ25_tmWITc7uy4KIeioyp3OhN11EY0n5qfq-zENwnGygERInUV_0g0XKeHGJY8ygIezTpolQJdFGoxmOLYh3CTtq9ocbFMdJjAEV9v9mL--vtBPIEP277xdAuRpTAXxdfrlATMtC9Sv8Njoe-TJLr0vwK4IG9q-pVx3B-dcqujHzK2sDwFCMl5LX-GYVoISFyA&q=sudanese+wedding+dresses+UK&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjX6Jjj2eqPAxV4VkEAHTMjK1UQtKgLegQIFxAB&biw=1327&bih=743&dpr=2

HVDY Its fairly rare that both son's and families are all together (maybe 3 times a year at most) so it's very special if it happens.
Wyllow Yesterday the rain was constantly heavy from morning until night- that's one of reasons that hindered Son 1s journey- though also because his new job, that needs a lot of travelling to various pubs, provides a company car that is electric, needed charging halfway . The rain yesterday was constant and heavy.

Good evening everyone, just having a glance through BD. So nice of you to think of me and post my tune Wyllow3.
I've played the version with lyrics before. Lovely words, aren't they? Solo Dios basta. Beautiful.
I like the one you posted too Doodle, have added it to a playlist.
I'm sorry, energy, especially for spending time on screens is still not great. I managed art last week which was wonderful. I had enough energy but it took an effort mentally as I hadn't been for so long.
Hello to Sweetpeasue Scaredycat HVDY EllieAnne and anyone reading. I do think of you all and still remember everyone in my prayers.

So nice to see you in.

And nice to know you are checking in too.

If you have the energy, do tell what you do in the Art Group.

I bet you'll love this, the energy in it as it goes on is quite unlike the usual flat rendering of Pachelbel's Canon

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptk_1Dc2iPY&list=RDmGX14kYKG0c&index=3

Wyllow3 Those Sudanese outfits look beautiful. So bright and colourful.

nadateturbe Nice to "see you" in.SweetpeaSue Hope you and your husband are ok today.
EllieAnne How are you.

How's everyone been?
We took LG to another farm park, this one in Loughborough. We did a lot of walking, fed several animals, saw some indoor ones (lizards, rabbits, guinea pigs, etc), she played in the park, in the softplay area, we had lunch there, and she went home at 5. Lovely, but tiring x

Wyllow I’m happy with any reasonably well known hym sung to a well known tune. Often I bumble along trying to fit all the words into a line of music that’s either too long or too short. I love apricots in curry, casseroles and other such dishes. Evn Dh who didn’t actually like apricots would enjoy them cooked like this.
HVDY LG must be being brought up with curry as it would be too strong for a lot of children. Another lovely treat day today. You certainly get around a lot. Did LG like ask the animals.
nadateturbe so glad you managed to get to your art class. I love going to mine. You’re still obviously very tired. Hope things improve for you.
Scaredycat hope you’re having a lovely holiday. Been another nice day here hope you’re doing well with the weather too.
Sweetpeasue nice for your family to get together. It’s not easy these days is it. Good news about the scan appointments getting closer. Hang on in there and hopefully there will be some diagnosis and treatment soon.

Doodle The curries weren't too spicy, but she eats whatever they eat (her 15 year old sister had mashed potato with cheese and beans, her eating habits are dreadful - turkey dinosaurs, Pot Noodles, McDonald's, etc., despite Son2 trying his hardest to change all that over the last few years). LG loves all animals, especially cats (of course), chickens and goats. What did you do today? I hope you had some company and perhaps went somewhere.

GD1 rang me earlier - the elderly cat at theirs (DIL's cat from being a kitten) died. She'd been unwell since yesterday, and was 19.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202509/medium-6r2sp2-50c9b73e-c2cc-4435-ab6d-1b509ab5628f.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202509/medium-7sylwn-c19d53d6-e21c-475a-8c48-9c619d45ebb2.jpg

Oh my, HVDY, what a lovely day, sun to go with. She is at a delightful age and will remain a joy.

Bumbling along is fine, Doodle. We had hymns at school each day and my favourites were the one with "a thousand ages in thy sight..life an ever rolling stream.." but also because I lived in Hull then a busy fishing port we had "For those in peril on the Sea". also our school choir - a modest Technical High School - tackled the Messiah - unforgettable.

Oh my, a strange day with difficult emotions. Over riding it all emotionally more than I had realised was the bike collection.

But I'd got up early for the electrician, she was a no show, I'd prepared last night, neatly labelled sockets laid out on the floor, and stuff moved. At the time I didnt mind.

I did go to the little stitching group and it was small, warm, easygoing, friendly, people remembered me and also the abuse stuff (one knows anything said to the lady who runs it will go far like Susan from the Archers) - and she gave me lots of reassurance about the library stuff.

Then came the tough bit - paying the Chimney peoples bill online.

BD's - it took 2 hours - due to being cut off twice by them when I had got all the way to the fraud check people and having to repeat the same story and all the details 5 yes 5 times.
Close to tears and fury as I was exhausted.

Eventually...I thought, "OK, I'm going to complain and get something out of this". I established that my calls were recorded, and asked the people for a time stamp of the calls, so proof was there, and did get a bit, but sitting inside on a lovely day feeling wobbly in the first place got to me.

Anyway, I'm glad to say that the bloke came round to collect my bike. He came through the house and admired the neatly beautifully labelled laid out sockets on the floor 🤣 (as opposed to my artworks accidentally proudly stood behind them) and was walking it home. He's not taking the bike till later in the week, and if it doesnt clash will pick me up to get to know that bit of town better and both see this interesting "alternative" bike place.

My DocSis is back, hooray, I waited till she said she was free to have phone calls. the picture is some of the lovely weaving they did in France at the workshops.

Just tired now, rather flat, sad how I could have let abuse happen yet again for so long.... and glad for microwaves.

Where are you, *HVDY? (its always nice to come in and find you).

I've got "Aikido" 7.15 in the diary. Still not sure, it's been 18 years.

I'm probably more nervous about the mostly all new group of people than the activity as I did if for 2 years 18 years ago.

What is aikido? It's a self defence art.

Two videos 30 seconds each to have a look see, and remember they wont be trying to take anyone who cant to the ground, its all mostly in the hand and arm and getting people off balance stuff.

30 seconds
www.youtube.com/shorts/pgiggjkYMxg

The wrist twists, against a big person, are particularly effective,
30 seconds
www.youtube.com/shorts/jDMDIZ4WlTY

Today no waking demons, odd to feel relaxed.

Hoping to see BD's who didnt pop in yesterday, in today

Nice day ahead, no "To do's", except own up to the GP I've lost some tablets (they are better anti'b's than the ones I was given post a urine test and need replacements and go and collect them early.

Wyllow3 Your long 'phone call must have been very annoying and frustrating. Glad you got it sorted out in the end. Did the electrician lady get in touch? Some people are so unreliable. Your bike man sounds more like it. The Aikido stuff - I've always wondered how a little 5ft woman would deal with perhaps a 6ft tall male attacker, for example..... although I seem to be invisible since I turned about 60.....

Had my nails done (now really short, dark red and sparkly), bought a cushion with Son1's cat's photo on it - GD1 will love that. DH will give it to her tonight. DH went back to the farm park we visited yesterday, to retrieve LG's sweatshirt that we somehow left there. Things I bought for GD2's upcoming birthday arrived. Hope everyone is enjoying some sunshine today x