I love being a grandparent. And have had them for at least 5 days and nights for the last 4 yrs. Our house is basically set up for them. My sons girlfriend for 3 of them years, even though the kids were what I think the term is Facebook trophy kids to her, and a 100% narcissist. Played on my good nature. And knew how to set my anxiety going. Saying hurtful stuff. But I went to counciling and did a CBT course. And it helped understand how she works and I was able to put things in place to protect myself.
They split up last year after she was caught on camera with another man. But the kids have still been coming to our house most days and nights. But shes making my life hell. The latest been her coming round after a hospital visit with our grandson. Shouting at my son at the door saying her mum had said there a safe guarding issue at our house and she doesn't think the kids are safe with us. Now she didn't know I was sat in the room and I heard everything.
I was so mad. She only came into the hospital for 5 mins and after taking photos and texting she left.
My husband wasn't happy either. And said well their with us 90% of the week if more likely any accidents will happen under our watch.
It's all made me feel so ill. I've been told a safe guarding notes gets put on any child record. But unless they believe deliberate harm is there. It doesn't get acted on.
And it's just made me go around the house trying to 2 yr old safe it.
The problem isn't that, I accept that an incident happened.
The problem I've got once again. She's saying things. Saying her mums saying stuff. But I said to my son. I heard everything and maybe it's best the kids don't stay with us anymore.
So he tells his ex. Then she starts saying oh no that's not what I ment. I asked my mum what safe guarding was because I didn't understand.
This is a women who has worked for the NHS for 5+yrs.
I said to my son. She probably knows more about safe guarding than a normal person in the street.
It's because I heard everything. She's trying to back track. Incase I say anything to her mum.
I've figured out she plays us against each other behind our backs.
But my anxiety is fired again. I had a total breakdown 12 yrs ago. And now it's controlled. But she presses buttons that once again have triggered me.
I told my husband I honestly thought being a grandparent parent what be lovely. But I'm beginning to hate. Im scared when we've got the kids. Im not finding it fun. There 2 and 4 now. It's hard enough. But the extra strain is seriously impacting me.
I want to be in their lives. But it's honestly not a healthy situation now.
I honestly thought by helping her out so she could work she'd be grateful.
Sorry it 4 in the morning. I should be sleeping as the grandkids will be awake soon.
But I feel I've got no one to talk to.
My daughter says. Well her and her family can't see you as a threat since we've had them for 3 days and nights since the incident. My daughter says shes just doing her normal bitchy antics. And forget what she says. But it's hard for me to do. Im 50 and just want a peaceful life.
