Can't cry. Baffled

I used to be really embarrassed at how readily I'd cry - and then I got an awful employer that I had to work for for quite a few years. That put an end to the crying basically - as one of their tactics they would deliberately use would be to deliberately upset staff and then wait hopefully for them to cry. It was a form of bullying they used and when it became very clear it was a deliberate tactic on their part (along with a noticeable number of other tactics of theirs) then I clicked that I must NOT cry. I even came across a list they'd compiled for their supervisors on how to upset staff deliberately!!!! I was gobsmacked - but I made sure I took a good look at it...and trained myself into thinking "If I were them and a nasty barsteward = what would I do to me next?" and learned to anticipate their actions in advance pretty effectively.

There was no effective option to leave them - as it was poor-paid etc - but I had figured that the pay etc would be even worse if I left and I'm single...so I couldnt.

I trained myself to "hang on in there" for long enough that I could get away from the supervisor concerned that was trying to upset me that time and wait until I got to a "safe" location - ie the toilets. Then went on from there to train myself not to cry at work at all. I had to learn to focus instead on just how much effort the supervisors were putting in to trying to deliberately upset me. It became easier once I was very clear in my own head - because I'd got a different supervisor from the original one that had tried to provoke me into crying and they were also deliberately trying to upset me and, at that point, I clicked it was one of the tactics they used against staff and I became immune to it.

That's meant that I don't now cry in other locations either - as I'd had to be so strong about not letting them do that to me at work that it then became the case that I still had that "protective barrier" up to protect myself from getting visibly upset outside work as well.

I'm safely retired now thankfully....but the "Don't cry" reflex is still in there and just as well - as it helps me "keep a straight face" generally against any other people trying to upset me (eg some recent neighbours that I had to stop from trespassing in my garden).

Motto - if you have to refuse to be made to cry = you can no longer cry...even when it's safe to do so.

So - no Allypoole - I doubt it's anything to do with you - like being "hard" and I can certainly think of "hard" people and the first one that comes to mind is very hard/very selfish/very overbearing/doesnt care if what she does is against the law or anything - and yet she can put on the tears sometimes if it suits her to.

So it's nowt to do with "hard or not hard".

Luckygirl3

I'm not good at much - but crying is my speciality! Children singing always sets me off .......

Oh, me too. And sad films, poetry, beautiful music can set me off too.

I went to see The Lion King with my DD and DHD. They were astonished that I didn't cry. I have had so much to cry about in my life that I couldn't cry at people pretending to be animals.

DGD not DHD.

I didn't cry for all my life. Then after loss, I can't stop.

Like Luckygirl3 I'm a weeper.
Happy or sad I am easily moved to tears.

- If people are kind, cruel or just having fabulous fun together. A beautiful sunset, film, piece of art, the joys of nature - sand between my toes... Frustration, feeling sorry for myself... feeling blessed.

"Is she weeping yet" is a popular family refrain.
BUT I laugh just as easily and often feel truly joyful.
I have to warn new people when I can feel tears coming and sometimes say to (for example) health professionals "I'm going to weep when I explain this but I'm OK really".

The tears are quick to come and quick to go. Those who know me laugh about it. I have been like this since a teenager I think. I have always been teased about it a bit but I don't care. It's just who I am.
Maybe I have very small tear ducts?

CariadAgain - surely "putting on" tears is not the same?

I could become a professional mourner , I cry so easily , always have . I was called Boo Boo as a child . Still the same at 76

I really wish I could. It's a natural response surely. My husband gets really emotional about so many things but especially memories of when our children were younger. At the moment I'm under investigation because my eyes are constantly watering. Told you I'm weird!

I hate being a person who cries too easily!

I easily can cry but it begs the question as to why do i want to ? I never feel better whilst crying or after a good sob. it just seems to accentuate the pain . so my question is why do we do it?

This is no reflection on any others who have commented! I often wish I could cry more. Having come across a couple of controllers, I’ve noticed that people who tend to bully others cry instantly if anyone ‘upsets’ them - it’s the ‘gives it but can’t take’ it syndrome. My late MIL said some awful things to me but one time I dared to answer back, she burst into tears & I felt like a bitch!
I used to cry easily but SSRI antidepressants suppressed it. I know others in the same situation.

NotSpaghetti

Like Luckygirl3 I'm a weeper.
Happy or sad I am easily moved to tears.

- If people are kind, cruel or just having fabulous fun together. A beautiful sunset, film, piece of art, the joys of nature - sand between my toes... Frustration, feeling sorry for myself... feeling blessed.

"Is she weeping yet" is a popular family refrain.
BUT I laugh just as easily and often feel truly joyful.
I have to warn new people when I can feel tears coming and sometimes say to (for example) health professionals "I'm going to weep when I explain this but I'm OK really".

The tears are quick to come and quick to go. Those who know me laugh about it. I have been like this since a teenager I think. I have always been teased about it a bit but I don't care. It's just who I am.
Maybe I have very small tear ducts?

I could have written this as I’m exactly the same. In fact when I took early retirement (rather than redundancy) from a job I loved, my boss bought me a box of Kleenex as one of my retirement gifts. Everyone thought it was hilarious, as did I. They all knew exactly what I was like.

i have been like this for 40 years, now 77, got hurt so many times that i no longer cry, last monday was my birthday i didnt get anything off my sons or partner, or anyone, i came close to tears for the first time but they still didnt come.

I cry all too easily. My husband of 35 years decided to divorce me. Still being sorted. But whenever anyone asks how I am, the floodgates open. As they are now as I type…. 😭

I find it very difficult to cry but something this morning gave me a few tears. Otherwise, I can go years without tears.

Alypoole

I really wish I could. It's a natural response surely. My husband gets really emotional about so many things but especially memories of when our children were younger. At the moment I'm under investigation because my eyes are constantly watering. Told you I'm weird!

Ah.

Therein lies the answer.

fwiw, I only cry about twice a year.
And I am glad!

I can't cry, plenty of reasons to but just don't. On various meds to help my damaged auto immune system and a painful childhood have caused me to "dry up". Last time I had any tears was my dfs funeral 12yrs ago, sadly there is nothing left inside me to cry with---I do care but have closed off.

I took antidepressants for many years and lost the ability to cry, they seemed to blunt the highs and lows. Eventually last year I managed to very gradually reduce the dose until I stopped taking them altogether - and now I can cry again! Music, emotional films, sadness - such a relief.

@Jakuss , wishing you a very happy birthday for last week 🎊🍰🍹💐

jakuss - many happy returns - I too had a birthday last Thursday - if it wasn’t for my daughter, who remembered in the nick of time, I too would have had a lonely birthday - my sons went off on their holidays .
IamMaz - must be so hard - I was divorced after 25 years and I found it so hard. I am fine now. You too, will get over it - give it a little time. I hope you have good friends

Could be ‘dry eye’ syndrome which Omega 7 with Sea Buckthorn oil helps greatly- or it might just be emotional maturity!

Oreo

Blocked tear ducts?

Blocked tear ducts cause tears.

I don’t cry either. I have dry eyes and don’t produce any tears or moisture in my eyes. So when my daughter died I cried without tears if you see what I mean. Maybe get a checkup at the doctors as dry eyes can be an auto immune condition