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Phobic and panicking!!

(39 Posts)
Narnia Thu 11-Sept-25 13:41:31

Firstly let me say i know my issue is trivial in the overall scheme of health worries etc, but i do have a phobia!
I have been on the wait list 9 months to be assessed for sedation for a tooth extraction x2
One I've had multiple infections in and the other could prob be ok with root canal, but because of my issues dentist said easier to just remove.
Im phobic, have a terrible gag reflex so dentist advised sedation.
I've been today for my assessment (shaky legs and felt sick)
They queried sedation as I'm slightly over their bmi limit. As my neck isn't "fat" they think i will be ok.
Now I've seen the place (hospital) and know it's another 2-3 months wait i jist feel a wreck.
When i was told i needed an extraction i had numerous panic attacks and was a nightmare to live with basically.
Now the tooth has settled, no infection recently but i know i could happen again!
The thought of walking in and having the procedure just makes me panic, even jist writing this my heart is pounding!
I realise people have much worse and are fine but i can't face 3 months of this awful anxiety.

sazz1 Sun 14-Sept-25 20:01:47

My mum had a camera down her throat to look for stomach cancer. She had sedation in hospital and I visited her a few hours after. She genuinely didn't even know she had it done and thought she was just waking up from a nap. Thankfully no cancer was found.
I doubt you will have any memory of this dental treatment as sedation almost puts you out.

Deedaa Sat 13-Sept-25 20:47:02

When I was about 10 my mother sent me to a Polish dentist who was "good with children". She started drilling and said "If you move this drill will go right through your cheek" Need I say more? I didn't say anything at home because I would just have been told not to be silly.

Now, at the age of 79 I actually have a lovely African dentist who has given me so much confidence that I hardly worry at all now.

Narnia Sat 13-Sept-25 20:33:19

Liz13

I had a major dentist phobia until, and this is really weird, I had my first son! I had a horrendously long and painful labour and it took me a long time to get over it. So when toothache was driving me insane and I finally got to the dentist I made myself think about the labour I’d gone through and suddenly it didn’t seem too bad … Still had to have sedation a couple of times but no longer dentist phobic. BTW I am not suggesting you get pregnant to get over going to the dentist!

That's never happening 😂

Liz13 Sat 13-Sept-25 15:12:04

I had a major dentist phobia until, and this is really weird, I had my first son! I had a horrendously long and painful labour and it took me a long time to get over it. So when toothache was driving me insane and I finally got to the dentist I made myself think about the labour I’d gone through and suddenly it didn’t seem too bad … Still had to have sedation a couple of times but no longer dentist phobic. BTW I am not suggesting you get pregnant to get over going to the dentist!

Growing0ldDisgracefully Sat 13-Sept-25 10:39:16

I had to have all except 3 teeth out last year and due to dental phobia was offered IV sedation. My dentist was very good and understanding from the start (I hadn't been to a dentist for about 15 years due to the intense fear), and the sedationist very reassuring as well. I had a job getting up the stairs to the surgery room, my legs were so weak with fear. It was a long surgery - booked as 2 hours of sedation though in actual fact was about 1.5 hours. I drifted in and out, was aware of some of what was going on and do remember parts of it, particularly as the sedation began to wear off towards the end of the process, but certainly could not have gone through it without being sedated.
Wishing you all the best with it, there's so many of us with you, you're not alone, even if we can't physically be there.
Have a nice treat planned for yourself for a couple of days later, when you are feeling better, and focus on something positive while the sedation takes effect.

NotSpaghetti Sat 13-Sept-25 08:06:47

Narnia

That's reassuring, unfortunately i have no choice in location. My own dentist doesn't offer sedation. I have tried private and they have criteria also on bmi.
Not that I'm very overweight, but deemed to have a higher bmi than they like.
So I've been referred to the local maxillofacial dept of a local hospital.
This also makes the whole thing seem more daunting as i won't know anyone.

I went to maxiofacial at my hospital by choice in the end.
I felt that if anything were to go wrong at least I had A&E available!
It was over pretty quickly.
flowers
Thinking of you.

janipans Fri 12-Sept-25 21:37:30

I've been terrified of dentists all my life too (after treatment aged 7 by a dentist I was convinced was Hitler and about to gas me!)
I now have a lovely private dentist, who treats me like someone with half a brain, and if he says it won't hurt, it won't! He explains everything thoroughly.
I had a tooth out a couple of weeks ago and am proud to say that I did it without being fully sedated. I think you'd be surprised what modern anaesthetics can do.
Goid luck

Catterygirl Fri 12-Sept-25 21:12:26

I’m 74 and my family insisted on bringing me here to Fuengirola for dental treatment. I had all the butchers starting aged 10 at a village school with unnecessary removal of a perfectly good tooth with the gas mask. Terrible experience of wisdom teeth removed by private dentists who couldn’t cope as they were impacted. All my friends in the 70’s went to hospital for two weeks and were put asleep to remove all wisdom teeth whilst I covered for their jobs in the square mile, also known as the City in London. Why wasn’t I offered this treatment?
So here we are in Fuengirola against my wishes. Recently I lost my bottom two teeth. Time has meant the gums moving closer so I only require one implant. Looking like a rabbit stuck in headlights I sat in the dentist waiting room checking my resting heart rate. When I was called in I was so stressed and scared I could barely walk and was frightened to fall on the hard marble. Worse still I lost my hearing totally from the stress. I had an interpreter which I appreciated but I speak Spanish and none of it helped as I couldn’t hear anything. The dentist was Mexican with a very strong handshake. Looked about 45. Couldn’t speak English. Not a problem for me. I had a round the head X-ray and as expected it was very uncomfortable because of a bottom tooth infection the dentist told me about. When I bit on the thing required for two minutes it hurt. How can anyone sail through a dentist appointment?
I didn’t choose to come as have no toothache. Can’t eat peanuts anymore but that’s sad but OK.
Family forced me to do this but I didn’t cave in. Dentist told me despite my not visiting a dentist for 10 years I really only need a couple of fillings to ensure my top teeth don’t deteriorate.
I need time to think.
I’ve used Paul McKenna in the past for weight control. It worked a treat. So will definitely consider. I feel for us all treated badly by dentists.

Narnia Fri 12-Sept-25 19:41:07

Azalea99

Some excellent posts here, very helpful, but although it’s no help I have to say that I’m angry with your husband.

Yes, some reassurance.
I think he means i need to face up to it, it's got to be done sort of thing
Obv i know this, but it doesnt stop me being scared

Azalea99 Fri 12-Sept-25 17:32:26

Some excellent posts here, very helpful, but although it’s no help I have to say that I’m angry with your husband.

2507C0 Fri 12-Sept-25 17:25:24

Granmarderby10

The blame for dentist phobia lies firmly at the feet of those vile old school dentist clinics that most kids were sent to. The untold damage both physical and psychological.
Why our parents allowed it ? It has been pointed out many times that “in those days” parents rarely questioned health care professionals … Ha!

My experiences were in the early 1960s and 1970s but since then no sympathy or empathy has been shown or offers made to help “victims” - yes really - by the modern health service.

I was also a victim of the awful school dentist. Very cruel people. I remember being 13 or 14 and going there straight after school on my own and the torturer, who paraded as a dentist, was drilling with no anesthetic and I had to pull the drill out of my mouth to make her stop. She was very angry. I can't remember what happened after that but I know I have ended up with almost every back tooth filled and even some nerves removed. When my new dentist asked why, I replied that I had no idea. I didn't even know the torturer had removed nerves. I remember that dentists got paid per filling so many of my generation experienced fillings for no apparent reason and no anaesthetic either. Must have been to save money. Barbaric.

Poppyann1 Fri 12-Sept-25 17:14:14

I feel your pain,I always ask for gel to be put on my gums first so I can't feel the injection, Funnily enough I was there yesterday having the first half of root canal treatment, I remember the gas mask at the dentist it was horrendous I hardly told my mum I had toothache when younger cos I couldn't face the mask,in fact it left such a horrible impression on me I refused the gas n air when having my daughter and had to give birth without any pain relief.
I hope everything goes well for you and you get the treatment you need soon.

loopylindy Fri 12-Sept-25 16:04:09

Yes. My childhood dentist drilled and filled at every appointment. It's a wonder I haven't got mercury poisoning. The smell and the drill that was worked by a foot pump!! As a consequence my previously filled teeth are now falling apart and I'm too old (or mean) to consider paying the enormous amounts for implants

Berd Fri 12-Sept-25 15:42:58

4allweknow

Would you consider hypnosis? I mean before the actual appointment. Sessions can help with anxiety. I developed a terrible fear of water, had some hynosis over a few months and it really helped. Also, having been a registered dental surgery assistant, worked with B.D.S. registered, surgeons and orthodontists all highly qualified, in standard practices and hospitals you have nothing to worry about. You will feel much better when the decayed teeth are removed as they can be quite detrimental to your health. Think of the after, not the before.

Can I also put in a plug for Paul McKenna? I’ve downloaded some of his Hypnotic Trance audios - the one for anxiety is great. You need headphones, and also need to put in the time to listen every day for a while until they take effect, then have a top-up at difficult times. This might help if you can’t access/afford private hypnotherapy. The anxiety one is quite generic, but is generally calming. I’ve found a lot of benefit.

knspol Fri 12-Sept-25 15:38:08

Hoping you're feeling reassured after reading these posts. I had sedation at the dentist quite a few years ago and was terrified. When I got there and sat in the chair I could see my legs actually shaking. It was absolutely fine! I could hear the dentist and nurse talking but never felt a thing and occasionally dropped off altogether.

4allweknow Fri 12-Sept-25 15:25:15

Would you consider hypnosis? I mean before the actual appointment. Sessions can help with anxiety. I developed a terrible fear of water, had some hynosis over a few months and it really helped. Also, having been a registered dental surgery assistant, worked with B.D.S. registered, surgeons and orthodontists all highly qualified, in standard practices and hospitals you have nothing to worry about. You will feel much better when the decayed teeth are removed as they can be quite detrimental to your health. Think of the after, not the before.

Pigma Fri 12-Sept-25 14:44:28

Happy to put your mind at rest Narnia. Any queries or worries beforehand do come back for reassurance from all the lovely people who have posted on your thread and definitely come back afterwards to tell us how well it went. Sending all best wishes.

missdeke Fri 12-Sept-25 14:29:31

Granmarderby10

The blame for dentist phobia lies firmly at the feet of those vile old school dentist clinics that most kids were sent to. The untold damage both physical and psychological.
Why our parents allowed it ? It has been pointed out many times that “in those days” parents rarely questioned health care professionals … Ha!

My experiences were in the early 1960s and 1970s but since then no sympathy or empathy has been shown or offers made to help “victims” - yes really - by the modern health service.

When my sister was 5 we were taken to the clinic, my sister sat in the chair first. The dentist was huge, ginger hair and a red face and hands like bunches of bananas, my sister couldn't even open her mouth and the dentist slapped her!!! There was no way I would have mine checked after that.

My check ups for teeth were then restricted to 'if I can eat a Mars bar and feel no pain then they are fine.

One of my very good friends was a dental nurse and she persuaded me to go to the dentist for a check up before I turned 21 as it was still free. It turned out all my wisdom teeth were breaking through decaying and I was told I needed them all out. My friend was with me whilst I had sedation (needles were another phobia) and I woke up minus 4 teeth, I went straight to work afterwards and my friend did the check ups until they healed. The sedation was marvellous. I now go to the dentist regularly every 6 months and although I still don't like going, it's knowing that the teeth are being looked after and any small problems are nipped in the bud before they can do any real damage.

ArthurAskey Fri 12-Sept-25 14:29:14

If you have sedation then you won’t know anything about it until you wake up.

Narnia Fri 12-Sept-25 14:23:54

Pigma
Thank you so much for that x

FranP Fri 12-Sept-25 14:13:10

Would hypnotherapy help?

BlueBelle Fri 12-Sept-25 14:01:52

I have a dentist phobia but I never went to a school dentist I went to my mum and dads dentist and presumable he was nice or else they wouldn’t have taken me It can be totally unexplainable

Knittypamela Fri 12-Sept-25 13:51:53

I was chatting to a very nervous lady in the dentist waiting room recently. We agree that people of our age [70] had had the worst of dentistry in our childhood. You never get over it despite dentistry being painless nowadays.

Pigma Thu 11-Sept-25 23:37:22

I don’t post very often but do read along. However I couldn’t pass by without saying how much I understand your anxiety. I recently had an infected tooth removed and an implant put in place under sedation. I was really, really panicking and in a real state about this but, in the event, it was just wonderful so I wanted to reassure you that you will really be fine. The medical /dental team do this all day long so however nervous you are they will treat you well and with understanding and the sedation itself (the bit I was most scared about) is just amazing. There is no doubt you will be nervous on the day but in the meantime put it out of your mind and just get on with life because I promise you it will all be fine. You will just drift off and the next thing you know it will all be done. They put something in the sedation that makes you forget what happened so the only bit you will remember will be as you come round and open your eyes. You’ll be a bit ‘waffy’ for the rest of the day but over the next day or so you will gradually get back to normal. I can’t begin to tell you how totally terrified I was but, having been through it, I’d do it again in a heartbeat with not a moment’s hesitation and you will say the same afterwards too. And, yes, it really is a case of better out than in, my tooth had been infected three times and was never going to magically get better! All good wishes to you and come back afterwards just to say I was right!!!

Sadgrandma Thu 11-Sept-25 23:23:09

I think that most people of a certain age had horrible experiences with dentists when they were children. They got paid for every procedure they did and consequently, most of us had unnecessary fillings or extractions. Mr Fortunately things are very different these days with both local and full
anesthetic available making the whole experience painless.
Narnia, although I haven’t had full sedation for a tooth extraction I have had it for other procedures and I can promise you that you will feel absolutely nothing. In fact it is actually quite pleasant. I’ve often had the best naps I’ve ever had and it will be over before you know it. Doctors and nurses understand how frightened you are and will be very kind and patient. I promise you it won’t be anywhere as bad as you imagine. Be brave.
We’ll all be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on.