I hate being 60

musicgirl I agree wholeheartedly with you, life is so precious, I try to enjoy every day that’s left to me

I’m really pleased to have reach 76 not many do, I’m enjoying what life I have left I’m going to Tenerife very soon followed by a cruise next year, well you can’t take it with you, I’m very fortunate to have the resources to do these travels but then I’ve worked very hard since I was 15. I’m looking forward to jetting off again I look forward to sunny times and meeting up with old friends at the side of the pool where I’ll be lounging about drinking pina coladas.

Emeraldforest
Are you in the UK ?

Your life sounds really tough Emeraldforest. Sorry you have to worry about a funeral plan along with everything else.
How long distance is your partner? Can't you join forces and share your resources?

I haven't thought about my funeral. I hope my DC will do the honours.
They are all fairly comfortably off.

I have made a will which my DH
didn't so that made things a little complicated but I am coping at present.
I am trying to downsize and keep busy. I volunteer and belong to lots of groups. I let out part of my house to increase my income and to pay for help with the garden and heating bills.
I try not to worry!

Emeraldforest my life sounded similar to yours bringing up 3 children alone fitting whatever work I could in I got my first career job, a brilliant one, at 55 and worked till I was 69 loving every minute of it Now I do voluntary work and live a simple but fairly contented life
Can I just say I arranged and paid for a very simple cremation through the Coop it’s all done and dusted it cost me £1750 or something around that and I got nearly £200 worth of Co op stamps so a bottle of wine or two before I go 🤣
Life is very much what you make it within the cards you’ve been given

Tsm why on earth do you feel you have to carve out a life with ‘old people’ now you’re 60 …nothing changes, one of my best friends was 36 until she died this year, (she ll always have a place in my heart) I have the best ‘coffee conversations’ with two (individual) friends in their late 30 s and early 40 s but I also have a lovely laughs with my closest friend whose nearly 90

Kadinsky you sound depressed those are not normal feelings at 60/62 The best of everything is behind me, all I’ve got to look forward to is ill heath & death

Sewnsew that’s brilliant I admire your spirit .

My nearly 100 year old cousin is learning Spanish online in case she can get to Spain one day ! Now that’s enthusiasm for life and positive thinking what a lady

60 is still very young, I wish I had appreciated that more at the time! I think I was the happiest I have ever been at 60.
I was widowed at 44 when my youngest child was only 3. It hadn't been a particularly happy marriage . Single parenthood was hard but rewarding. My career had never really taken off, I just fitted in whatever work I could around the children.
Now 76, I still work, 20 or so unsocial hours a week,as an office cleaner. The work is very tiring for me nowadays, but I need the money, never having made adequate plans for retirement. Time flew by I suppose and I was unprepared
for how expensive life would become! My workmates are great,though.
My oldest daughter lives with me having 'returned' several years ago. She works but had huge debts and mental health issues and was diagnosed with ADHD at 46. She's lovely but needs a lot of support. My other 2 children have families,I'm an active nan though wish I had more time and energy.
What has kept me young is my long distance partner that I've had for 16 years. He's 9 years my junior. We've certainly both had our shares of worry and difficulties but make each other really happy.
I don't feel very prepared for what is to come, my house needs serious attention and I am yet to make a will . My funeral plan company went bust leaving thousands out of pocket but mainly it was the thought that one thing I thought was organised, but wasn't, that was devastating.
Enjoy your 60s, OP, I'm sure you are sensible and sorted (unlike me) do what makes you happy.I hope your husband gets some of his joie de vivre back , things could be happier between you,who knows.

I am 63 , my husband died after a short illness at 60, 5 months ago.
5 years ago we bought a house in spain and enjoyed 5 years of 90 days here, 90 in spain.When he died i decided to go back to Spain so now here I am, bittersweet some bad days but living my life and trying to enjoy it, have some lovely friends here and expanding my friendship circle. The worst has happened so I can only move onwards and upwards but the sun shines and I walk regularly every day in the sunshine and try to make the best of life as I hopefully have 20 + years left

1st paragraph. Oh.

Because I dont accept cookies, I cannot use the search facility properly.

tsm106 has posted previously about problems she is encountering, notably about her mother's tempestuous relationship with her (mother's) controlling 'boy'friend.

Why are they called boyfriends when they reach their 80s?

Another thread with a poster never to return?

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, stuff him really!
He can be an arrogant git & I'm a sensitive twit & never the twain shall meet! I shall keep-on ignoring the puffed-up pillock.

Just to add, many women aren't lucky enough to reach 60 years old. Be grateful. The alternative is to be six feet under...

Ilovedogs22

AllyW

76 year old here who'd love to be 60 again.

Wise words AllyW, I don't mind getting older or even looking older but my DH's attitude has changed towards me!
Now, I don't seem to exist any longer, he looks straight through me & I'm sure he no longer finds me attractive or desirable.
It's very upsetting & soul -destroying really. Hmm, some Men!!!
Ps, I do try to look nice but I can't compete with the young women he so fancies. 😶

I’m so sorry to read that, Ilovedogs22, but try to keep in mind that it’s not you who is the problem - it’s your OH.
You are still you. If at all possible, get out and about and join things that interest you. Leave him to his fantasies. You are a valuable member of the human race. I don’t know if you have children, but if you do, I’ll bet 10 to a penny that they value you and love you, as will your friends and wider family. Don’t let him and his silly notions get you down. 💐

Your question, why am I so unhappy, is a difficult one for us to answer. It sounds as though you have a fear of ageing, as you said you hated fifty, which is the new thirty 🌞

I hope you don’t feel offended but, is the root of your unhappiness/dissatisfaction with the relationship with your husband. Busy work can keep things ticking over but retirement can mean lots of time together. It seems your husbands willingness to do nothing irritates but what do yiu want to do? Do you enjoy doing things, what things.
Do you have friends whose company makes you happy?

AllyW

76 year old here who'd love to be 60 again.

Wise words AllyW, I don't mind getting older or even looking older but my DH's attitude has changed towards me!
Now, I don't seem to exist any longer, he looks straight through me & I'm sure he no longer finds me attractive or desirable.
It's very upsetting & soul -destroying really. Hmm, some Men!!!
Ps, I do try to look nice but I can't compete with the young women he so fancies. 😶

76 year old here who'd love to be 60 again.

Pop over to health xxx

Sorry just realised this is in the wrong place! New to GN

My best friend who is only 63 has Parkinson's and has now developed dementia (undiagnosed) She has become really paranoid and accused her husband of abusing her. I know this is not true but she keeps asking me to help her. The husband is aware and doesn't know what to do. I don't know how to help her. Any advice as to ways forward. Her GP is not supportive and she can present well during consultation.

Or....in from left field.....and personally I'm a believer in reincarnation - and so I've absolutely zilch idea how old I am personally (other than at least thousands of years old).

That gives a very different take imo on someone who thinks "three score years and ten and then that's that".

So personally I regard my retirement years largely as a "learning position" - all I can learn about what life on Earth is like/what other people do - because I'm certainly not coming back here ever again for sure! I'm no masochist...

So I'm rather treating these latter years as "On a self-made university course - studying this odd warlike planet from an insider position - before I'm off/outa here". So I regard my life now as "final stage of self-chosen degree course" and study what's going on around me.

Well there wasn't really time when I was younger - what with a full-time job constantly, sideline work because I was single (ie poor), being a political activist and somehow fitting in "having a life" (dates/social life). So "Have computer....will study what it's like here" now that I've not got to do any work any longer/am not dating any longer.

I'm very very conscious I won't be "coming this way again" - so might as well finish all the analysing/draw all the conclusions etc whilst still here in situ - at the "University of Life".

My 60th birthday didn't feel like anything special because although I'd been retired for five years I still had to struggle on with just my civil service pension until I turned 66 and qualified for my state Old Age Pension and a council bus pass.

Turning 70 was depressing because I was also diagnosed with moderate heart failure earlier this hear and I've slowed down a lot lately, needing to have a nap most afternoons.

But looking on the bright side, I became a grandma for the first time earlier this year, so life isn't all that bad !

Sorry folks, but I think 60 is way too soon for acceptance.
60, retired, financially ok, good health. If you’ve got those the 60s are all about opportunity.

I honestly cant think of one thing I couldn’t do in my sixties that I could do in my thirties. And there were masses of things that I could do in my 60s that I hadn’t been able to do before because of life’s constraints

Those constraints were my choices, but oh the wonder of being free of them.

The next ten years will be what the OP makes them. Personally I’m glad I can look back and say didn’t I have a ball! 😃

Music girl I love your comment and agree. The only thing is….in practical terms, how do we replace fear with acceptance?

Musicgirl

@StripeyGran, I don't think we were telling tsm106 to stop moaning. I think all of us have reservations about some aspects of ageing - it's only natural. I think what we were trying to say was that, yes, realistically we are in the final third or quarter of our lives but we can still find pleasure in this phase. If we replace fear with acceptance, we can move on, hopefully, to contentment. Life is precious; too precious to waste.

Yes, absoutely.