Severely autistic 6 year old, advice needed

Put out a selection of food on the table that she can try. Start with food she's enjoyed in the past. Do not comment, cajole or criticise. If she eats something, that a win.
I think there is an autism society which could offer help

She’s autistic not “awkward and obstinate”

Make practical suggestion to your DD by all means, but I’d suggest she finds some good local support groups.

If she is non verbal, perhaps she has a sore throat? How does she communicate her needs?

The National Autistic Society can offer the help needed here- but I agree with GrandmaBatty that you offer a selection of food you know she likes and don't speak at the table. Is she leaves it then just repeat until she gets hungry.

I would be worried more about her not drinking, but again give her what she likes but never before food as sugary drinks will suppress her appetite.

Let her have some control over her diet, even at that age.

Perhaps other parents from the will have some ideas.
Meanwhile, as with any child, perhaps a walk in the fresh air to a park or playing in the garden and working up some fun then inside to a variety of familiar foods on individual, small plates, no foods touching another. Make no fuss. Can mum eat the same foods? At the same time? It has only been a week so perhaps this is a way for a child to make her own choices.
Love and cuddles also go a long way. I hope you and your family get the necessary support.
Perhaps your daughter could post on the SEN forums on mumsnet.

Correction parents from the school unit

I agree with Cossy. How can the school say she is awkward and obstinate? Surely it’s not a special school because they should have a lot more understanding of autism.

My niece’s son is autistic and will only eat beige food apart from baked beans which have to be kept apart from other food on his plate or he has a meltdown.

I think the preference for beige food is quite common in children with autism. And possibly bland flavours / textures.If she has a very restricted diet, do the surgery have a dietician she could speak with about vitamin supplements & ways of giving them?

I agree with you, your daughter needs to let the GP know she isn't coping, maybe some respite care would be available to give her a chance to relax & recharge. I can't imagine how I would cope in her situation.Hoping things improve on the eating front.

There are a number of charities who can help and advise the parents of autistic childre. I am sure you are in touch with them, but if not, do google 'help for parents of autistic children' . Especially the National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/family-support Click on the link. It will take you straight there.

Swallowing difficulty ( I think it is called dysphasia) is quite common in non- verbal children with autism. This may explain why she takes the food and then spits it out and refuses to drink. I am not sure what you can do about it apart from seeking medical advice.

NB. It is actually called dysphasia.Apologies.

Wrong again . DSYSPHAGIA!

It's not awkward or obstinate,it's part of being autistic,my five year old grandson is the same,he also has pica. He also goes to a mainstream school with a unit attached,his one to one is absolutely brilliant with him..yes it can be frustrating for the parents but autistic children will be autistic adults, it doesn't go away.

Non verbal doesn't mean unable to understand or communicate so the best advice is to give her the control she needs and the ability to express her needs.

I would suggest having visual resources for foods and allowing her to choose from options. The more control she has over what she eats and when she eats, the more likely she is to do so. Any missing nutrients can be supplemented and it is always a case of fed is best. Any pressure or stress on the situation may make food overwhelming and cause meltdowns and can lead to more serious issues later on.

Having a selection of snacks available at all times is also helpful, especially if she has had some involvement in preparing them herself.

Assume you are in UK? National Autistic society can be helpful but very busy. Are there any local groups they are often more available and run by parents with the same sort of problems. Talking to other parents can give you some ideas. Just leaving food until she gets hungry will not work. We always said our son- now 31-had a “self imposed restricted diet”! Now it has an official name-ARFID(avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). It is a common thing with people with autism.
The most important thing is to find something that is acceptable- to her- to drink. Food can come later. We tried everything in every way, hot, cold, different cups, straws etc. He has for years only drunk Tesco diet cola half and half with water- Gp and Dentist approve. That and a nesquick banana milkshake morning and before bed-with a straw in his particular mug. He never eats any vegetables or fruit but takes a multi vitamin every day- now tablets are acceptable but until 2 years ago it was Haliborange liquid. Again Gp and hosp are fine with this. Once they like something it might have to be for every meal, every day- then suddenly they go off it. The look of foods, smells, textures are all things to consider and often they mustn’t touch each other. Eating with fingers is acceptable-our son ate dry rice crispies this way every morning for years- he does use a spoon now! And if they like something don’t mess with the brands they can tell even if you put it in a different box. Sorry I’m going on a bit! Now have an equally “different” granddaughter- definitely not awkward or obstinate. Wishing them success. x

I have 4 of my grandchildren autistic, 2 what used to be called aspergers now called high functioning, as I have care of one grandson since he was 3 now 16 and is between 3 types of autism I can tell you how I personally deal with it, may not be the best but here goes,
When he was younger it was more difficult trying different textures and colours and shapes as all counted,
It had to be round. So various sausages, for meat as he couldn't take the texture of any type of fresh meat , and it had to look right,
The plate had to be a certain colour not clash,
And the texture right jelly was out,
As he always ate certain vegetables broccoli cauliflower mash potato carrots (colour) we didn't worry.
We had to experiment till we got it right.
He isn't fussy its a brain , texture, colour thing.
He eats smoked salmon because the colours right.
Now I take him shopping to help me, sometimes he chooses things probably because the packaging is right but he then tries it out and we have had success with this, I would recommend taking her shopping to see if she would choose something herself?
The smoked salmon happened when we went to the church get together and they had smoked salmon on crackers, he was only little but took one of the crackers off a plate and ate the salmon off it, we we all surprised and since then I often buy a small packet to put in his packed lunch.
As he gets older it seems easier probably because we have worked out what works for him.
He's such a blessing so kind and gentle and always respectful, it was difficult when he was younger I will say.
Being non verbal must be harder I know but she's never obstinate its just the world is different for her to communicate what works for her, lights shapes,loud noises especially has an effect , my grandson will do well because we and himself knows what works for him, he can and will live his live his way and be happy