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New Grandchild

(33 Posts)
Exhausted01 Wed 05-Nov-25 16:44:40

So we have a new Grandchild due next year but have just found out that at the 20 week scan they only found one kidney - not just that but it's still down in the pelvic area.
I know you can live a normal life with one kidney but what if it stays down low and doesn't move up to where it should be ?
As you can imagine we are all very upset and worried.
Any words of comfort would be appreciated please x

BlueBelle Tue 11-Nov-25 18:21:46

I m with your husband all the way I always try to look on the positive side and of course I m wrong as many times as someone looking on the negative side but far less churned on the outside even if I am on the inside
There are so many things that can be done now. DO NOT GOOGLE listen to the facts that the doctors tell you and as they are not or do not seem concerned, fingers crossed they are rightbp
Ask them all the questions not the computer and stay very positive for your daughter s sake Tell her it’s going to be fine she doesn’t need your added stress

Exhausted01 Tue 11-Nov-25 17:38:58

I should definitely stay away from google yet I do it again and again ......
Hubby and I have such different ways of coping.
I look at the very worst case scenerio and then things can only be better than what i'm thinking.
Hubby always thinks everything is going to be ok until he's told otherwise.
Hes actually right more than i am

Bukkie Tue 11-Nov-25 16:54:10

My friend's son has led a healthy life with only one kidney. He is in his late 30s now and has a physical job as a painter and decorator. The second kidney never grew and my friend said it looked like a little raisin on the scan.

Babs03 Tue 11-Nov-25 16:46:17

Good to hear the hospital staff weren’t worried. I hope your DD and her family, including yourself can now heave a sigh of relief for now.
Best to leave google alone, it can give the worst possible scenarios.
Take care 🌹

Allira Tue 11-Nov-25 16:17:37

But the hospital didn't seem worried about anything
The kidneys can still function even if not in the correct place.

Your daughter needs you to be strong right now
flowers

glammagran Tue 11-Nov-25 16:17:23

Exhausted01

My daughter had her specialist scan today.
There is definitely one kidney lower than it should be ( possibly 2 again lower but she has another scan in a month to have another look )
Going back next week for a heart scan . But the hospital didn't seem worried about anything

I’m glad your DD ‘s scan seemed a bit more reassuring.

GS1 was found to have a hole in his kidney at his 20 week scan. Still there at 35 weeks. The hospital didn’t seem unduly concerned, but I’m sure his parents were. At 5 weeks after birth it had closed up. At age 14, he is a county swimmer.

Wishing your family all the best.

Exhausted01 Tue 11-Nov-25 16:06:55

My daughter had her specialist scan today.
There is definitely one kidney lower than it should be ( possibly 2 again lower but she has another scan in a month to have another look )
Going back next week for a heart scan . But the hospital didn't seem worried about anything

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:18:51

*covid not coving I really should preview my posts

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:17:59

*said not saud

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:17:21

Everyone says don't google but obviously I have and shouldn't have.
Now my mind has gone into overdrive and I'm worried his little lungs haven't developed properly and he won't survive.
As far as I know nothing like this has been saud although I don't know if my daughter has told us everything.
I've had an issue with my mum over Christmas presents this year ( posted in the Christmas forum )
I feel like the last five years and all the problems we've had have built up and I'm not coping.
Just before we had the five years of s* we had the lockdowns because of coving and i didn't cope well.
I'm not a strong person , I'm far too emotional but I can't help the way I am.
I'm just finding life really hard at the moment. I feel that life deals us a blow but doesn't give us a chance to get back on our feet before knocking us down again.
I've really had enough

Janlara Sat 08-Nov-25 00:57:57

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through such an upsetting and stressful time and hope you receive reassurance as your daughter's pregnancy progresses. Sending best wishes to you all xxx

V3ra Fri 07-Nov-25 23:55:06

Exhausted01 that gut feeling is awful, isn't it?
Honestly? All you can do is trust, and pray. We'll all be with you if that helps xx

Exhausted01 Fri 07-Nov-25 17:28:48

The problem is that he literally only has one kidney and thats the one in the pelvic area.
Something was telling me not to get excited about this baby but I let my guard down.
I feel like I've got the worry twice - for the baby and my daughter and her family. I'm so scared and worried for them all x

Franski Fri 07-Nov-25 10:27:17

This is a problem a family friend was born with in 1967 and he has done very well as a successful business man. I would say along with others that life with one functioning kidney is perfectly ok. The other one in pelvic area...the body usually absorbs this as far as I know. If not, paediatric surgery is the best it's ever been. I hope that you can celebrate this new GC despite the surprise sadness.

superblue42 Thu 06-Nov-25 23:44:14

Tell your daughter to try not to worry as I was totally stressed out while pregnant with my second son.
The hospital told me that he had only one kidney on the scan and when he was born they whisked him away to scan him.
Then came back and said "Oh he's fine!" Grrr!
I'm sure all the worry I had, caused him to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD years later

rascalsgran Thu 06-Nov-25 19:42:43

When I was expecting my first baby 54 years ago, there were no scans. We had a lovely baby boy and 2 years later our daughter was born. Our son loved sport, played football, cricket and had a go at everything. He is married and has a son. About 6 years ago he had some investigations which included a scan. Amazingly we discovered he only had one kidney. I often think we would have stopped him from contact sports, agonised over his youthful drinking and been a nervous wreck, had we known. He is strong and healthy, so please be reassured a little.

StripeyGran Thu 06-Nov-25 19:39:43

Kind thoughts to you all.

crazyH Thu 06-Nov-25 19:36:52

Congratulations Exhausted - try not to worry.. I know nothing about the human body. But, could it be, at 20 weeks, the other kidney is still developing and hence not seen on the scan. Regardless, as many have said, people can live a very long and active life with just one kidney . All good wishes .

Madmeg Thu 06-Nov-25 19:29:12

Like others, I have no medical knowledge of this situation but a friend of mine at age 72 suffered problems with a kidney and on having a scan it was discovered that she had in fact got only one kidney. Not even a misplaced second kidney - only ever had one. She had led a perfectly nomal life including still playing regular tennis, swimming and golf and never even experienced a kidney infection. The one kidney was successfully treated and she lived another 14 years, dying from an unrelated condition.

Of course I do hope your new grandchild's kidneys develop normally over the remaining gestation and he or she suffers no problems.

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 12:48:35

Thank you x
Waiting is sooooo hard x

V3ra Thu 06-Nov-25 06:26:54

Exhausted01 you're right you have had a lot to cope with over the last five years.

All you can do now is trust in the medical team who are looking after your daughter (daughter-in-law?) and her baby.
She won't be ready to talk yet as she doesn't know what she's dealing with. It's a waiting game for the time being. Very hard.
Best wishes to all of you xx

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 05:47:40

In the last five years I have lost my Dad , Father in law and a dog.
Hubby has had 2 cancer scares.
This year I got made redundant after being in my job for nearly 20 years ( luckily I'm working again but it's been a big change ) and just recently we nearly lost my mother in laws- we came so close.
Is it me or is that a hell of a lit to deal with in 5 years ?

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 05:22:33

Thank you so much everyone.
She has another more detailed scan next week ( the wait is awful )
At the moment she doesn't want to talk to anyone which is really hard as I just want to comfort her.
I think i would just feel happier if the one kidney was where it should be.
She has other children but since her telling us this one has just felt different but I don't know why.
I had just finally relaxed and let myself get excited , biy a few things etc and now this. I'm just hoping and praying it will all be OK x

Crossstitchfan Wed 05-Nov-25 23:37:39

I understand that you are worried. Anyone would be.
I was going to send you a reassuring message, but almost everything I was going to say has been excellently written by OldFrill. I am sure the medical professionals looking after babies are quite au fait with this, so put your trust in them.
I wish you, the new baby, (when he/she arrives), and the rest of the family, all the very best.
That said, I am very aware how concerned you must be, and nothing I can say will help that. I can only suggest you ask the medical staff about anything that concerns you, and try to have faith.💐

LizzieDrip Wed 05-Nov-25 23:33:05

Exhausted01 congratulations!

This is what ChatGPT says about the situation:

“ Yes — it is possible for a kidney to be located in the wrong position and still function normally.

This condition is known as a renal ectopia (or ectopic kidney). It occurs when one kidney doesn’t move to its usual position during fetal development. Instead of sitting high in the back of the abdomen (just below the ribs), the kidney might be found:
•Lower in the abdomen (pelvic kidney)
•On the opposite side (crossed fused renal ectopia)
•Higher or closer to the midline

Key Points:
•Function: Many ectopic kidneys work normally and produce urine just like a normally positioned kidney.
•Symptoms: Often, there are no symptoms, and the condition is discovered incidentally during imaging for another reason.”

(Of course, it’s still early in the fetal development so the kidney may still re-position).