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New Grandchild

(32 Posts)
Exhausted01 Wed 05-Nov-25 16:44:40

So we have a new Grandchild due next year but have just found out that at the 20 week scan they only found one kidney - not just that but it's still down in the pelvic area.
I know you can live a normal life with one kidney but what if it stays down low and doesn't move up to where it should be ?
As you can imagine we are all very upset and worried.
Any words of comfort would be appreciated please x

Humbertbear Wed 05-Nov-25 17:22:30

I don’t want to leave you without any comments. DS has one kidney that works and one that only does a bit. He played soccer and is a keen cyclist. He is happily married with three children. I can’t give you any advice but I am thinking of you and your family. I hope things turn out well for you.

Retread Wed 05-Nov-25 17:23:20

Dear Exhausted that must have been an instant worry. I'm no clinician but I would think that at 20 weeks there is still a lot of growth that will be happening, and things will change. Not easy but try not to project. Congratulations, too. smile

pably15 Wed 05-Nov-25 17:33:01

Exhausted, I have no knowledge of anything like this, but I just wanted to congratulate you on your new grandchild. At only 20 weeks things can change, and the doctors will be keeping an eye on the baby, there is so much that can be done now,,,wishing you well

OldFrill Wed 05-Nov-25 17:39:57

Hello Exhausted, congratulations on your new grandchild. I think the best way forward is to think positively and be reassured that the physicians have picked up the kidney concern and will therefore be able to monitor it and make any decisions re treatment at the earliest stage. I wish you all the very best, look after yourselves so you can be a strong support for Baby's parents.

Usedtobeblonde Wed 05-Nov-25 23:00:09

My friend’s S was born with only one working kidney and he is now 55 with two healthy children and very healthy himself having lived a normal life.
However I do not want to minimalise your natural worries and pray all is well with your GC.
Best wishes for his/ her future health.

Allira Wed 05-Nov-25 23:07:43

I know two younger people who live life to the full with only one kidney.

Not wishing to minimise your concerns, Exhausted01, but apparently many people have one or both kidneys located in a different place than normal and are unaware of it.

The best people to speak to are the medical professionals, of course.

I hope all goes well with your DGC.

LizzieDrip Wed 05-Nov-25 23:33:05

Exhausted01 congratulations!

This is what ChatGPT says about the situation:

“ Yes — it is possible for a kidney to be located in the wrong position and still function normally.

This condition is known as a renal ectopia (or ectopic kidney). It occurs when one kidney doesn’t move to its usual position during fetal development. Instead of sitting high in the back of the abdomen (just below the ribs), the kidney might be found:
•Lower in the abdomen (pelvic kidney)
•On the opposite side (crossed fused renal ectopia)
•Higher or closer to the midline

Key Points:
•Function: Many ectopic kidneys work normally and produce urine just like a normally positioned kidney.
•Symptoms: Often, there are no symptoms, and the condition is discovered incidentally during imaging for another reason.”

(Of course, it’s still early in the fetal development so the kidney may still re-position).

Crossstitchfan Wed 05-Nov-25 23:37:39

I understand that you are worried. Anyone would be.
I was going to send you a reassuring message, but almost everything I was going to say has been excellently written by OldFrill. I am sure the medical professionals looking after babies are quite au fait with this, so put your trust in them.
I wish you, the new baby, (when he/she arrives), and the rest of the family, all the very best.
That said, I am very aware how concerned you must be, and nothing I can say will help that. I can only suggest you ask the medical staff about anything that concerns you, and try to have faith.💐

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 05:22:33

Thank you so much everyone.
She has another more detailed scan next week ( the wait is awful )
At the moment she doesn't want to talk to anyone which is really hard as I just want to comfort her.
I think i would just feel happier if the one kidney was where it should be.
She has other children but since her telling us this one has just felt different but I don't know why.
I had just finally relaxed and let myself get excited , biy a few things etc and now this. I'm just hoping and praying it will all be OK x

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 05:47:40

In the last five years I have lost my Dad , Father in law and a dog.
Hubby has had 2 cancer scares.
This year I got made redundant after being in my job for nearly 20 years ( luckily I'm working again but it's been a big change ) and just recently we nearly lost my mother in laws- we came so close.
Is it me or is that a hell of a lit to deal with in 5 years ?

V3ra Thu 06-Nov-25 06:26:54

Exhausted01 you're right you have had a lot to cope with over the last five years.

All you can do now is trust in the medical team who are looking after your daughter (daughter-in-law?) and her baby.
She won't be ready to talk yet as she doesn't know what she's dealing with. It's a waiting game for the time being. Very hard.
Best wishes to all of you xx

Exhausted01 Thu 06-Nov-25 12:48:35

Thank you x
Waiting is sooooo hard x

Madmeg Thu 06-Nov-25 19:29:12

Like others, I have no medical knowledge of this situation but a friend of mine at age 72 suffered problems with a kidney and on having a scan it was discovered that she had in fact got only one kidney. Not even a misplaced second kidney - only ever had one. She had led a perfectly nomal life including still playing regular tennis, swimming and golf and never even experienced a kidney infection. The one kidney was successfully treated and she lived another 14 years, dying from an unrelated condition.

Of course I do hope your new grandchild's kidneys develop normally over the remaining gestation and he or she suffers no problems.

crazyH Thu 06-Nov-25 19:36:52

Congratulations Exhausted - try not to worry.. I know nothing about the human body. But, could it be, at 20 weeks, the other kidney is still developing and hence not seen on the scan. Regardless, as many have said, people can live a very long and active life with just one kidney . All good wishes .

StripeyGran Thu 06-Nov-25 19:39:43

Kind thoughts to you all.

rascalsgran Thu 06-Nov-25 19:42:43

When I was expecting my first baby 54 years ago, there were no scans. We had a lovely baby boy and 2 years later our daughter was born. Our son loved sport, played football, cricket and had a go at everything. He is married and has a son. About 6 years ago he had some investigations which included a scan. Amazingly we discovered he only had one kidney. I often think we would have stopped him from contact sports, agonised over his youthful drinking and been a nervous wreck, had we known. He is strong and healthy, so please be reassured a little.

superblue42 Thu 06-Nov-25 23:44:14

Tell your daughter to try not to worry as I was totally stressed out while pregnant with my second son.
The hospital told me that he had only one kidney on the scan and when he was born they whisked him away to scan him.
Then came back and said "Oh he's fine!" Grrr!
I'm sure all the worry I had, caused him to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD years later

Franski Fri 07-Nov-25 10:27:17

This is a problem a family friend was born with in 1967 and he has done very well as a successful business man. I would say along with others that life with one functioning kidney is perfectly ok. The other one in pelvic area...the body usually absorbs this as far as I know. If not, paediatric surgery is the best it's ever been. I hope that you can celebrate this new GC despite the surprise sadness.

Exhausted01 Fri 07-Nov-25 17:28:48

The problem is that he literally only has one kidney and thats the one in the pelvic area.
Something was telling me not to get excited about this baby but I let my guard down.
I feel like I've got the worry twice - for the baby and my daughter and her family. I'm so scared and worried for them all x

V3ra Fri 07-Nov-25 23:55:06

Exhausted01 that gut feeling is awful, isn't it?
Honestly? All you can do is trust, and pray. We'll all be with you if that helps xx

Janlara Sat 08-Nov-25 00:57:57

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through such an upsetting and stressful time and hope you receive reassurance as your daughter's pregnancy progresses. Sending best wishes to you all xxx

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:17:21

Everyone says don't google but obviously I have and shouldn't have.
Now my mind has gone into overdrive and I'm worried his little lungs haven't developed properly and he won't survive.
As far as I know nothing like this has been saud although I don't know if my daughter has told us everything.
I've had an issue with my mum over Christmas presents this year ( posted in the Christmas forum )
I feel like the last five years and all the problems we've had have built up and I'm not coping.
Just before we had the five years of s* we had the lockdowns because of coving and i didn't cope well.
I'm not a strong person , I'm far too emotional but I can't help the way I am.
I'm just finding life really hard at the moment. I feel that life deals us a blow but doesn't give us a chance to get back on our feet before knocking us down again.
I've really had enough

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:17:59

*said not saud

Exhausted01 Sun 09-Nov-25 16:18:51

*covid not coving I really should preview my posts