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Urge incontinence

(62 Posts)
MrsHappy Sun 23-Nov-25 15:01:44

I am suffering very badly with urge incontinence. I am at the point I can rarely get to the toilet without not just leaking, but letting go. It's costing me a fortune in pads!!
Does anyone have experience of this and is there a cure?

saltnshake Mon 24-Nov-25 14:37:27

Jojo1950 I have had stage 2 breast cancer , DCIS, I use the vaginal oestrogen. My GP first checked with Consultant Oncologist that it would be ok. There are many types of breast cancer so it is safest to check.

LOUISA1523 Mon 24-Nov-25 15:14:20

Jojo1950

Can you use vaginal oestrogen if had stage 1 breast cancer.? TIA .

I've had stage 1 breast camcer twice and stage 2 roast camcer once....I use vaginal estrogen....a years worth is the equivalent of one dose of HRT ( or something like that) ....lots of research out there...have a read up

yogitree Mon 24-Nov-25 15:25:16

CariadAgain

There is an acupressure point - so I gather - just underneath the nose. It's in between the bottom of the nostrils and the top of the upper lip. In that groove beneath the nostrils. I gather one presses firmly on it to give the message to your body of "You can stop that right now - and wait until I am ready".

HTH.

Ooo! You give me hope, I will try this!

GANNET Mon 24-Nov-25 15:35:56

Go and see a Pelvic Health specialist physio they are really good.

MayBee70 Mon 24-Nov-25 15:37:00

yogitree

CariadAgain

There is an acupressure point - so I gather - just underneath the nose. It's in between the bottom of the nostrils and the top of the upper lip. In that groove beneath the nostrils. I gather one presses firmly on it to give the message to your body of "You can stop that right now - and wait until I am ready".

HTH.

Ooo! You give me hope, I will try this!

Would that stop me having to get up several times in the night? ( she says hopefully…)

jools1 Mon 24-Nov-25 16:21:10

Some of these replies seem more about dealing stress incontinence rather than urge incontinence - a very different thing! MrsHappy - I suffer too from urge incontinence and it is a nightmare and can really affect going on day trips and holidays. I've been told it is more about the brain giving the wrong message and somehow you have to switch off that part of the brain by thinking of something else! I don't really understand this but, like you, would welcome any practical advice

gillyknits Mon 24-Nov-25 16:26:32

I went to my doctor who diagnosed a rectal prolapse and sent me to a pelvic physiotherist who showed me how to improve my pelvic floor and also got my doctor to prescribe oestrogen pessaries. What a difference they made. The physio described them as a vaginal face lift.
I have to keep up the pelvic floor exercises but it’s made an amazing improvement!

NotSpaghetti Mon 24-Nov-25 16:28:44

True, jools
Some people might like to know the difference:

my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22161-urge-incontinence

Oreo Mon 24-Nov-25 16:35:26

It sounds truly horrible…do hope you all manage to get some help from your GP.A lot of people suffer in silence if they feel embarrassed but if you don’t ask you don’t get.

4allweknow Mon 24-Nov-25 16:49:31

I read that along with pelvic exercises when you are trying to hold on getting to the toilet just telling yourself over and over you do not need to wee in a relaxing manner usually convinces you to hold on. It was an incontinence nurse who had written the item. I don't suffer incontinence but when desperate I do use the technique and find it works. Something to do with distraction thinking.

skate Mon 24-Nov-25 17:14:54

I endorse the mind over matter approach, it does help. I live in a block of flats and as I approach the entrance I can suddenly feel the urge to wee. So when I get in the lift I imagine that when I get to my floor and the doors open, there will be Queen Elizabeth II waiting to greet me and asking if I have come far. Sounds mad but it does work. Sometimes it's King Charles but I find the Queen is more effective!

skate Mon 24-Nov-25 17:19:29

I meant it works in that the desire to wee goes away, as I couldn't possibly meet Her Majesty busting for the loo!

CariadAgain Mon 24-Nov-25 18:16:19

yogitree

CariadAgain

There is an acupressure point - so I gather - just underneath the nose. It's in between the bottom of the nostrils and the top of the upper lip. In that groove beneath the nostrils. I gather one presses firmly on it to give the message to your body of "You can stop that right now - and wait until I am ready".

HTH.

Ooo! You give me hope, I will try this!

Might as well - it costs nowt.

Though I'm off to see a 5 Elements acupuncturist soon for "everything that's wrong with my body" and I have a list - in order of priority. Not seen one of that type before and she assures me it's possible to do acupuncture with acupressure rather than needles (as it's very rare for me to let anyone anywhere near me with a needle - and it has to be absolutely necessary from my pov) and she's got a couple of other methods up her sleeve too. I'm willing to try a lot of different therapies personally if I think there's a reasonable chance they'll do the trick - though I wince at the cost of the "NHS bills" as I call them (as in we're supposed to have an NHS - but I land up paying...). I've covered the "what element are you?" out of the 5 possible elements already in a Chat GPT questionnaire - wood predominates by a long shot in me - and errrm....yep....another well-known Wood person is Margaret Thatcher......LOL.

That sounds logical to me - as there was one illness that went on for years and stopped at menopause on the list of what Wood people are prone to - so that's one less on the list (which is 10 items long - after me getting shot of two off that list so far). Good job Wood people are determined...

rocketstop Mon 24-Nov-25 18:25:28

KGee

You need to ask your doctor for vaginal oestrogen either pessary or cream this will improve not only the vagina but also the urethra and greatly improve your symptoms. All women can use it whether or not you’ve been on HRT. Pelvic floor exercises will also help and request a referral to physio if needed. You will see an improvement within 2-3 weeks of using the vaginal oestrogen cream. No need to suffer in silence like most women do! Good Luck!

Good advice, but I have to say that 'Not all women' can use it, you cannot if you've had cancer.

CariadAgain Mon 24-Nov-25 18:34:56

jools1

Some of these replies seem more about dealing stress incontinence rather than urge incontinence - a very different thing! MrsHappy - I suffer too from urge incontinence and it is a nightmare and can really affect going on day trips and holidays. I've been told it is more about the brain giving the wrong message and somehow you have to switch off that part of the brain by thinking of something else! I don't really understand this but, like you, would welcome any practical advice

I can feel another google coming on - asking about that. It's a problem I had back before in my 30's and got rid of it then. There was a LOT of stress then - I was born a home-owner as I put it and I still hadnt got one/couldnt see how to do so as a single person and was having an enormous amount of stress with my employer (which lasted all the way through from my 30's until the blessed relief of retirement at 60).

Maybe one of those factors being removed - ie basically I had succeeded in visualising my way through to a highly unusual method of buying a home a couple of years later - so didnt have loads of anger being stuck in rented accommodation to deal with any longer. It was 10 years late - but I'd found a way to get one. So that anger had been resolved - by success on that.

w1u7 Mon 24-Nov-25 19:17:30

Rocketstop I have had breast cancer but two doctors assured me oestrogen cream is completely safe. It has improved my life completely. Urge incontinence is terrible. I used to wake up at night thinking I have got to go to the loo. As soon as I had moved,I had soaked myself. I just urge people to consult their doctor.

Sssd Mon 24-Nov-25 19:56:18

I am the exact same, im fed up of waking up and knowing im in a puddle. I too spend a fortune on tena lady pads and even the maxi night dont hold it in. I'm onto my 3rd try of tablets. I've been taking jude about 5 months now. I've used vagifem for 10 years. I seen countless doctors and am waiting for an appointment with the woman's physio.
I tried drinking very very little after 6pm and always ended up getting a pounding dehydration headache at 5am the next morning.
Im embarrassed by it and really dont know where to turn. My gp, various ones, seem at a loss.
This started at menopause, im way by that now. I feel its hormonal but hrt patches did nothing.
Im actually in despair now.
Im in utt

Sssd Mon 24-Nov-25 19:59:29

Is oestrogen cream more effective than a pessary twice a week?

fiftiesgran Mon 24-Nov-25 20:22:56

Please try local Oestrogen : Vagifem Pessaries or Oestriol cream. You use every night for 2 weeks, and then twice weekly. Definitely will improve any urinary symptoms and prevent UTI s. Look up Genito urinary syndrome of the menopause. Most GP’s are much more aware of the benefits these days. It is not the same as systemic HRT and you can use it for the rest of your life, and it can be used even if you’ve had breast or gynae cancer.

Oldbutstilluseful Mon 24-Nov-25 20:34:45

I was recently diagnosed with urge incontinence by my doctor. He explained this is due to a problem with my muscles and is not related to the pelvic floor, which is why the kegel exercises I was doing weren’t helping. He has prescribed some medication (Tolterodine) which is definitely working for me. That’s why it’s important to know the difference between the various types of incontinence.

KraftyKat Mon 24-Nov-25 22:26:29

When I had this problem, a few years ago, my GP prescribed Oxybutynin patches. They're a bit like HRT patches that you stick at the top of your leg. It took a few months but really worked. Urge incontinence is more about your brain re-learning the signals that you need to go. I was also told that, when at home, I shouldn't go to the loo as soon as I felt the urge but to wait a few minutes as this also tells the brain it is OK to wait. As others have said, you need a diagnosis as different types of incontinence need to be treated differently.

2507C0 Mon 24-Nov-25 22:57:50

I have a rebounder. It sounds unlikely, but since I have started to use it, the urge has gone!

MrsHappy Tue 25-Nov-25 07:57:26

Thank you everyone. Looks like a trip to the doctor and urinary clinic.

Iam64 Tue 25-Nov-25 08:42:41

I phoned the gyneourology team as instructed if I’d not heard from them following my September referral. I was told it’s a twelve month wait

LadyBridgerton Tue 25-Nov-25 09:25:22

MrsHappy

I am suffering very badly with urge incontinence. I am at the point I can rarely get to the toilet without not just leaking, but letting go. It's costing me a fortune in pads!!
Does anyone have experience of this and is there a cure?

I recently plucked up courage to see the doctor, he gave me some tiny pills which seem to have solved the problem. I went out in not black jeans yesterday with no issues!