Autism/ADHD

Someone once explained to me me that ADHD. Stood for Absence of Dad's Hand on Derriere (?)

Lathyrus3

I jut think we need to go back to a wider range of what is considered normal. Or to accept everyone has differences

I totally agree with you on this?

If only 🤷‍♀️

I think you might be correct in that statement!

It’s the glares from the others that need to be addressed Grannygravy.

Headphones and pads aren’t bothering other diners so why should they glare. Why not just see it a normal thing for that person. And let it go.

I just think we need to go back to a wider range of what is considered normal. Or to accept that everyone has differences.

We are all neuro diverse in our own some way or other if you believe there is actually a normal that we should all confirm to in every respect.

No.
To me a number of cases will be due to lazy parents and naughty children and claiming benefits. Just my opinion! What’s yours?

JaneJudge

It’s all real

They are diagnosed with these conditions because they have them

It’s a spectrum and has always existed

Neuro diversity often exists within families

For most people it has nothing to do with benefits, it’s about finding and implementing appropriate support

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Lathyrus3 what on earth makes you think that people are proud of labels that mark them or their children out as different from the crowd

It is emotionally draining for all members of the family with a child or adult with neurodiversity.

Have you had to suffer the glares from fellow diners when you have a young child sitting under the table with noise cancelling headphones on, or with an iPad in front of them throughout the meal. Both these examples are coping mechanisms y the way, not just lazy parenting.

Sorry if I repeated a lot if what's been said but reading and repeating the "antisocial" media is not clever - it may even be a bigger problem than neurodivergence.

JaneJudge

It’s all real

They are diagnosed with these conditions because they have them

It’s a spectrum and has always existed

Neuro diversity often exists within families

For most people it has nothing to do with benefits, it’s about finding and implementing appropriate support

Indeed.

I've ADD, not hyperactive at all. I've many siblings, my parents understood how to guide and support me - their clearly different child.

GrannyGravy13

I agree Cossy our darling GC, doesn’t want to be fixed they are happy now they have left school, positively thriving in the college in our local City (I think you will guess which one)

Senior school, was horrendous a combination of hormones, bullies and searching for who they were.

Very intelligent, with a photographic memory and a gentle soul.

With hindsight their father (our son) was rather anti-social as a child and teen, and to this day has only a small circle of trusted friends. He has thought of getting assessed, but so far isn’t going to as he has found his own coping mechanisms.

Actually I thought Cossy was saying something different. That people need to be told what is “wrong” with them, so that they can get help to fit in.

Whereas I’m saying we all need to be a bit more tolerant and accept that everyone - including ourselves- is “different” n some way.

I don’t mean those who have severe difficulties but I do believe
we were more willing to let people be themselves and to be ourselves without needing to believe we were special in some way.
People seem to be proud of labels that mark them or their children out as different from the crowd.

Septimia

There will be children who genuinely have these problems.

However, some parents are having their children assessed as having autism or ADHD even when the symptoms very mild (or possibly non-existent) because they can claim up to £187-45 in benefits each week.

Being cynical, I think there may be numbers of children who have been labelled with these conditions simply for the money.

You are not only cynical but I can't find any credible evidence that this is true. So let's look at the evidence there is.

A strong, independent analysis by fact-checkers (specifically Full Fact) found that many headlines claiming a “200,000 increase in autism/ADHD benefit claims since Covid” are misleading. The larger number they quoted refers to all DLA claims for under-18s (including many with physical disabilities, chronic illnesses, etc.), not specifically autism or ADHD.

Data on autism alone is not broken out. In the publicly available DLA data, “autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions” are lumped under broader categories (like “learning difficulties” or “behavioural disorders”).

AI found no peer-reviewed study or government-commissioned report (at least publicly accessible) that documents a systematic pattern of parents seeking medical diagnoses solely (or primarily) to obtain benefit payments for children who do not genuinely need care or support.

Given what the data and fact-checks show, there is no clear, credible public evidence that many parents are deliberately getting children with mild or non-existent autism/ADHD diagnosed purely so they can claim the full £187/week benefit. The rise in benefit claims is real, but the data do not support the specific allegation that this reflects widespread fraud or over-diagnosis for benefit purposes.

Having brought up a child with dyslexia, who is now middle-aged, we went through the times when even teachers saw this as a parents way out with a less than bright child. I can't tell you how proud I was when my child received their Masters Degree. Not only because of the degree itself but because of how she had dealt with the spiteful, uneducated people she met along her way with calm and reason, using the positive traits of dyslexia to find tools to overcome her problem areas.

That's how the human race evolved you know. By using the tools of the slightly or strongly neurodivergent to improve life for others. Interesting that we don't attack the human, who invented the wheel, for processing information a little differently, isn't it!

We hear so much about children on the autistic spectrum because of social media, and more assessments of children compared to years ago.
Back in the day information was not widely shared on anything and parents of children with autism probably didn’t talk about it and their child went to a special school, a good reason why, as children, we didn’t see such children in mainstream schools.

The problem the OP seems to be referring to are those who do not have a formal diagnosis of Autism or ADHD but claim that they do or use it as an excuse for bad behaviour. Sadly, this does happen and casts a bad light on the genuine cases.

One thing I am certain of is that it has nothing to do with claiming unwarranted benefits!

I am afraid to say it is so, in some cases and teachers' and Ed.Psychiatrists' time is wasted by this. (former Senco.)

I agree Cossy our darling GC, doesn’t want to be fixed they are happy now they have left school, positively thriving in the college in our local City (I think you will guess which one)

Senior school, was horrendous a combination of hormones, bullies and searching for who they were.

Very intelligent, with a photographic memory and a gentle soul.

With hindsight their father (our son) was rather anti-social as a child and teen, and to this day has only a small circle of trusted friends. He has thought of getting assessed, but so far isn’t going to as he has found his own coping mechanisms.

Lathyrus3

I think we were just more tolerant of difference, especially in education, but also in the way that people opted to live their lives. Less judgemental about how children and adults should be.

Looking back, in the village where I grew up, there were all kinds of diversity, including autism and ADHD, amongst a host of other diverse lifestyles and personalities. We just accepted people for who they were, maybe gossiped a bit and then absorbed them into the community and made whatever allowances were necessary.

In spite of proclaiming we are a diverse society, we are driven by a sort of mythical what people should be and anything outside that needs attention to put it “right”.

I think you’ve simplified these issues. Sometimes it’s so important for those in the spectrum to have a diagnosis and to really understand and have answers (& extra help if needed).

I think we were just more tolerant of difference, especially in education, but also in the way that people opted to live their lives. Less judgemental about how children and adults should be.

Looking back, in the village where I grew up, there were all kinds of diversity, including autism and ADHD, amongst a host of other diverse lifestyles and personalities. We just accepted people for who they were, maybe gossiped a bit and then absorbed them into the community and made whatever allowances were necessary.

In spite of proclaiming we are a diverse society, we are driven by a sort of mythical what people should be and anything outside that needs attention to put it “right”.

I think children always had these conditions but unless there was severe need, they weren’t assessed. I work with a young person with autism and they’re very well behaved but need support in other areas such as communication and focus.

My daughter has a diagnosis. Her school wanted her assessed, so I went along with it as I was led to believe she would get support for the one issue that she needs support with. She’s academic and very well behaved. The assessment process was an absolute joke! Very minimal and I was surprised that the assessment was carried out by a nurse. She hasn’t been seen by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The subsequent report was full of inaccuracies which I had to get them to address - which resulted in me actually rewriting part of the report for them! We aren’t entitled to any benefits for her despite the additional expenses we have incurred because of the one area she has a problem with. And she can’t have the therapy she needs as it’s not recognised by our local NHS.

Don't worry, once we reach a position where 50% of the (younger) population are diagnosed then it will have to be recognised as part of the 'normal' spectrum in most cases. Given the number of private agencies who will happily diagnose for a fee it will not be long.........

It’s good to see links being made here about patterns of behaviour in our families, that as older people we now see clearly.

It’s so easy to blame parents for not setting boundaries effectively for their “naughty boys who can’t sit still “. Or teaching manners to their child who avoids eye contact.

We often hear that Johnnie is just like uncle George - strange as they never met.

I wonder too if children who in a different age would not have survived due to prematurity, or illness are more likely to survive perhaps with some developmental consequences. Also children now have mostly higher levels of adult support than perhaps in the past when there were bigger families with older children watching out for younger ones and children out playing from young, -I wonder if children with ADHD were more likely to have fatal accidents. As a parent of a child who needed very high level of supervision and support to keep him safe and well - I can well imagine that he would not have survived in an earlier age!

FGT2 yes I think there is a familiar link.

When I think of my grandparents and the great grandparents I knew, along with my parents, children and grandchildren, with hindsight (such a wonderful thing) I can see neurodiversity.

Shelflife

keeping quiet. If you had a child in your family with a diagnosis of ADHD I doubt very much you would refer to it as a fashion! Believe you me its not something you would want .

There is more than one child in my family with this condition.

I was just making a comparison between how the stigma has changed, and rightly so. However, I also know of people seeking to be diagnosed with 'something' who believe it is a gateway being seen as somehow special, which is the reverse of how things used to be.

I was also making the point that children with severe autism and ADHD do not get the funding and help they should because the focus is much more on high functioning rather than those with severe disabilities.

When I was a child, children with severe autism and severe learning disabilities were mostly educated and cared for away from society and just not seen. my mother worked in a residential school for children with various severe disabilities affecting both academic and social functioning. Children with ADHD, high functioning autism and dyslexia were not yet recognised and children with unrecognised neurodiversity treated as naughty quirky geeky clumsy or stupid. Looking back it’s possible some of the children in my small village school had unrecognised neurodiversity but the small school with small mixed age classes managed children kindly as individuals in a way which would be challenging in today’s very large main stream classes.
Yes the numbers of children diagnosed with neurodiversity has increased over the last few of decades, but the reasons for this are likely to be multifaceted. One thing I am certain of is that it has nothing to do with claiming unwarranted benefits!

I’m sure it’s real and very distressing for families who are affected. Yes it does seem more prevalent. I have no idea why. Better diagnosis probably.

On a personal level I have noticed with friends that it does seem to run in families suggesting a genetic component? The old chestnut “apples don’t fall far from the tree” was a crude way of putting it, back in the day.

There do seem to be many more children diagnosed.

I read recently “it won’t be long before not being autistic or neurodiverse in some way will in itself be ‘neurodiverse’”