I’m really glad you did go to the doctor and get some antibiotics, Ellie Anne and hope they pick you up a bit. I hope you get a U tube link soon to see the skating.
I think you’ve observed something insightful when you say, “I think I’m too hurt inside to ask him to do things”.
It’s possible asking him to do a little may remind you of all that you don’t have….on the other hand, you doing everything just breeds resentment.
It’s a tough choice ahead. xx PS - this is just the place for a rant. Look at me at times.
(That dynamic was happening to some extent in my first marriage. I had to do all the planning and management in the home - except, he was absolutely great with our son, just great, and continued to be. I mean helped him get on wit his profession and so on and he goes up and helps with family in holidays, he is the only grandparent with energy to do this. But he has changed
But when I got really, really ill with depression, as in suicide attempts - he withdrew - he was also working full time and wanting badly to get on wit his career as a late starter - he just simply couldn’t cope. No emotional support. (It was his childhood) I carried on managing house things.
But he did feel also great strain holding it all inside and it was a relief when we split, it was my doing,
but we had enough money and he was still working to manage this. But he’s also done therapy and stuff, he realised something was missing in him.
But I guess - well, however difficult, I have ended relationships in the past: although afraid of being alone, I have chosen that over other unbearable feelings.
Scaredycat its a great great sad strain with your friend, for she cant change matters of her own illness or her husbands condition (has he got dementia, or is it end of life matters?). and you cant do what one wants to do, to “make things better” in some way, but the only help is to listen and share sorrow, which is very hard (and I’m glad there is another friend). Well, cat hairs - sheer elegance, the very latest…😉
Do you know why you had a bad night, HVDY? I can actually understand a good day following - it’s something inside that demands we make good on it, or something.
I hope you had a lovely day.
I’m glad you had a fresh air time out today, Doodle. How long do you walk for? Where do you walk?
Yes, we have long silences where no one says anything. Deciding to talk is up to someone feeling called to do so.
Its all explained to new people, but people who come, have tended to come because they want what we call “a gathered meeting”, a precious silence, where you do not feel alone - yes really, where speech is unnecessary.
If people (new or just rabbiting on people) keep on speaking out or for a long time or inappropriately then they will be approached to be brief or to consider whether what they have been saying is really a spiritual call by an experienced Quaker, meetings are run by a very small group who might be “elders” (appointed by consent for 2/3 years only). I know I have had problems but you dont generally get bitchiness or nastiness or power grabbing - people like that get bored.
Ah, you are being very good with the jigsaw. How is it going? I hope going to the hospice is rewarding.
I also had a bad night, dont know why - today need up with actually being a very productive getting on with things day - nephew came to set up my exercise bike, its actually perfect for purpose: my car was taken in for the day - I did washes and wrote some really important emails including the one to psychiatrist saying I couldnt tolerate this weight gain any more if it kept going up, sorted some stuff out for going away, generally caught up.
Except for the washing up 🤣
Love and thoughts for those not in today or just reading.
. 
. 