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Black Dogs 28

(1001 Posts)
Wyllow3 Thu 01-Jan-26 15:19:00

This is a continuation of Black Dogs 27, which you can view the end of on
www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1352125-Black-Dogs-27?msgid=31453500#31453500

to continue and to get a flavour of this long term space.

*Welcome to Black Dogs 28*:

Its supporting those of us who wish to talk about our mental health problems quite deeply at times: and share aspects of our lives supportively, give and take support.

All are welcome: don't be put off by some of us being there long term, people do come and go.

nadateturbe Mon 02-Mar-26 17:59:44

What a waste of time HVDY indeed. I thought you would get treatment for tonsillitis.
I am about to take the prep which I stirred while trying not to cry. 😃. I told you I'm a coward. I have to starve until appointment at 2 15 tomorrow!!
You realky need to rest tonight. And not go out in the cold. I hope your ear is ok. Ear infection can be painful.

HowVeryDareYou2 Mon 02-Mar-26 17:14:53

Wyllow3 Glad you found the new couple interesting and good to chat with. My husband's sister tries to follow a FODMAP diet (although isn't very rigid with it). Did the chimney man arrive this morning?
ScaredyCat Thanks. Hope your friend was up for a chat today.
nadateturbe I don't envy you that. I hope it is over with fairly quickly and that your UTI is treated soon.
EllieAnne Your home life must be so unhappy. flowers.

Did an online form to the GP, and had a text to say I needed to be seen, and they'd made me an appointment. Saw a Nurse Practitioner - eventually, as she was running 90 minutes late. I would've just gone home, but thought I should stay and possibly get some treatment. She said I've got Tonsillitis and an ear infection (I knew all that), told me to take Paracetamol and drink lots. What a waste of time. Must get to bed early tonight and not watch Foxy and a hedgehog (on the camera) until 11.30 x

nadateturbe Mon 02-Mar-26 16:32:33

EllieAnne I do feel sorry for you, being with someone who cares so little. x

EllieAnne Mon 02-Mar-26 15:47:16

b there was a issue with dh which I felt I had to confront but it was a waste of time because he didn’t respond and is acting as if everything is ok but I on.ly speak to him when I need to.
I think/hope the credit card problem is sorted out but won’t know for sure until I get a statement.
I honestly chimney man has been.

nadateturbe Mon 02-Mar-26 14:19:04

Scaredycat am having the colonoscopy. GP said the uti will wait. Sorry I'm a bit wrapped up in myself at the minute everyone. I'm such a coward this time. Have had them before, no problem, no sedation. I've had the imaging one before Scaredycat. I will suggest it but I think I will need this one.

Scaredycat Mon 02-Mar-26 13:26:53

Hi all
SweetPeaSue - you had a busy day on Saturday and got lots done. It’s hard isn’t it when you have reminders of sad times in the past and know that there are more to come. I,m sure your visits are very much appreciated.
Yes we will always miss our Mums - we were lucky to have them.
Hope your tummy settles down and that you are able to end this lovely sunny day.
Doodle- it must be so nice to see you Church all gleaming and bright.. You certainly earned your lunch and nice to have company for lunch . Ah music is so evocative - tears of
remembrance and love. Yes it was a quieter weekend - just a walk and coffee with DD and GD1. I made myself sit down more. Our GD told us her daughter was,playing in a Violin concert that evening
Nadateturbe- I think the decision to take the antibiotics and postpone the colonoscopy is very difficult for you but a UTI can make you very ill indeed. You can have a non invasive colonoscopy with CT imaging if that would help. Thinking of you.
HVDY+ Hope you got to see the Doc today- you sound very poorly. You,ll miss LG but it would be unpleasant for her I& she caught whateve4 it is. You should be better by the end of the week for your Birthday trip with the family.
Jaffa the Sausage Thief. Yes Mummy Fox needs feeding up if it is an expectant Mum. Oh cubs would be special although I don’t expect Jaffa will offer to babysit!
EllieAnne % It never rains but it pours.so sorry you have a credit card problem. That sort of thing is so hard to deal with and can bring on awful anxiety. So hope you,ve got it sorted now.
Wyllow- your Quaker meeting sounded different but nevertheless turned out to be a pleasant encounter with the two,young people. You have much to,offer from all your Life experience.
Gym is such a great place for you as you can exercise both body and mind there. You,ll get that energy back- you have used an awful lot of it lately.
To be happy by yourself is the first step,to contentment.

Love to all - now off to visit my friend.

nadateturbe Sun 01-Mar-26 23:00:16

I am not looking forward to it Wyllow3, but although I would love to, I'm not trying to evade it. It's being done because my iron levels are low. But I don't think I have the strength to cope with it right now, and I think perhaps clearing the uti might help. I would like it to be over and done with.

Wyllow3 Sun 01-Mar-26 22:36:54

I’m so sorry you’re had a rotten week, Ellie Anne, and then the last straw with your credit card. (Which I do hope can be sorted). I just hope things pick up for you: did anything particular happened last week, or is is just all too much of the same?

If it were me I think it depends what the colonoscopy is for nadateturbe. Is it routine or something that may give results you are evading in any way? If its fairly routine, it does seem to make sense to delay it till your Uti’s have cleared up, unless the colonoscopy result is so important its best to “Get it over with”…”know where you are” with something?
But yes, get the advice, and if. You trust this GP, follow it.

Good on the weight front, HVDY, tho for all the wrong reasons. Its a wise decision to cancel LG, because you really need rest to get over those symptoms before a busy day as well as “passing things on”

No shame for tears in church, Doodle. I hope you got some hugs, if hugs help.

Have you thought of getting your very own Fluffball, Sweetpeasue - or can you have her more often… I wouldn’t like the responsibility for an animal, mind you. Are you eating the right food for IBS? (She said, putting her bossy mum voice on). MY tum has been a far, far happier bunny since I went on a non lactose and low FODMAP diet, it really has made so much difference. I get milk that is lactose free, and the FODMAP thing seems incredibly complicated - except I did it the easy way - just google for any food “is it low FODMAP” and only gets foods that are, not all the elimination stuff.

I went to Quakers and it was OK. It did feel different. I didnt want to stay for a shared lunch, enough people things in the coffee after, but I got to talk to our new young couple, and the young women had ministered in such a way that made me think hmm..there is a back story here, and it was, and it was MH, and we had a long chat including with her partner. It’s nice being able to help, understand, and talking to them is like being back in the 70’s, alternative lifestyle and all.

Then the gym and quite a good session energy wise. I find talking to people more tiring as I’ve lost a lot of confidence cos of MrA.

I am worried however about my fungus growing damp patch. Finding substantial money wont be easy,

but its the thought of the home invasion that might be involved, I hate it, if its more than say 3 days and if its timbers involved at roof level…well,

Mr Chimney is now supposed to be coming tomorrow at 8.30, and it's a busy medical day too. I shall be glad when its over, I like just free do as I want days. I think going to see sis will be good, thats 10 days away now. its very easy going there - its she cooks the evening meal and all do as they want.

Warm waves to the "not in todays". I'm glad to be able to come into the group, I find it hard living alone at times, although a lot of the time I am relieved, I don't think I could give a lot out tho at other times want a someone in my life.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 01-Mar-26 21:42:42

Doodle flowers. I'm glad your friends took care of you. Yes, we'll miss LG tomorrow. It's her dad's (Son2) birthday on Friday, and we're going out with them during the day, which will be nice.
SweetpeaSue Thanks. Sorry your tum isn't so good. Have you ever tried Buscopan?
nadateturbe UTIs are horrible. Hope you get some effective treatment soon.

I left a lot of food out for the fox, early - I read that females (IF it's a vixen) give birth in March, so if it IS a female, she'll be pregnant and hungry. Foxy came at 9ish, but Jaffa was out there - scoffing the sausages! I carried him in (Foxy had gone over the fence, but returned just now). Silly boy Jaffa. Hope everyone has a restful night x

nadateturbe Sun 01-Mar-26 20:43:56

Thanks Sweetpeasue.
Sorry you're not great. Would kefir help maybe. I find it helps. I wish I could wave a magic wand for us all.

nadateturbe Sun 01-Mar-26 20:40:18

Thanks HVDY. That's what I'm thinking. It was a 7 day 4 times a day strong course of cefalexin. Should have cleared, I was very careful. This will be my third. Had a 2 wk course for the boil just before the uti. I'm sure it's not good to have so many.
I'm sorry you're so poorly at the minute. Do phone the doctor. Hope he helps.
Thanks Doodle. Don't think it's been a good winter for anyone. I'm sorry you were feeling so sad today. Its good you have thoughtful friends.
👋 to everyone, sending love.xx

Sweetpeasue Sun 01-Mar-26 20:18:27

Doodle I cant imagine how hard it must continue to be for you. It seems anything that brings emotions ,like the music, just touches that rawness of your grief. Glad your friends took you out to lunch- you needed that company.
Yes, do miss FB when she goes back. HVDY Wonder what it is about socks eh? With FB she knows youll go after her you try and get it back so shes being mischievous. I bet it doesnt seem like 30 yrs since you lost your mum - I know it doesnt seem that long for me. We'll always miss them. So sorry you're still quite poorly. Best to look after yourself before you have to look after LG . Another 4lbs loss - you're doing amazing,truly, well done you.
Wyllow Do hope it turned out OK if you went to Quakers today. I imagine it will get better with time - being there I mean. Nothing is your fault at all and its just been such a strain for you and so stressful. Hope Mr Chimney turns up tomorrow for you. Glad you have a nice Dr uou can trust- means so much.
Nadateturbe Good idea to see what GP thinks, though for what its worth I agree with you and ,certainly with me, the antibiotics would have to be first - really used to be in agony with UTI. Its not worth it getting worse and possibly affecting kidneys. Lots of love and a hug coming your way. Hang in there.
EllieAnne So sorry youve had such a bad week. Not sure whats happened with the credit card- lost or wrong transaction- but its all you need on top of everything else. Do take care of yourself. Hope you fell better soon and might manage a walk. X
Scaredycat Hope you've been OK and are enjoying your family.

Quiet day today. Tummy is churning all the time and colicky pain - must be IBS.
Wishing all a peaceful night.xx

Doodle Sun 01-Mar-26 18:37:54

Evening all. I cried in church today for the first time in a while. They played some piano music and I just felt so sad. Couldn’t stop the tears. Some friends took me for lunch which was nice.
Wyllow glad you slept well and managed a gym session. I can understand why it will be hard going to Quakers but you know you’re not to blame so just remember that,
Ellie Anne sometimes it’s one thing after another. Your life is not an easy one. Hope the credit card problem can be sorted out.
HVDY you don’t sound well at all. Good idea to see GP. There’s a couple of things going round at the moment. Hope you feel better soon. You will miss being with LG.
nadateturbe you’re not moaning you are ordering the best course of action. I think phoning the GP is a good idea and get some advice as to how to proceed, hope the uti clears up soon.
Sweetpeasue you had a busy day yesterday hope today has been more restful and your Dh has been ok. Nice of you to take aunt out again. Bet you miss Fluffball when he goes home.
Scaredycat I expect you’re having a quiet weekend after the celebrations of the last week.not been raining so much so hope you’ve managed to get out a bit.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 01-Mar-26 18:24:26

SweetpeaSue Fluffball sounds delightful. Playing with a sock grin. That was the first "toy" Jaffa ever had. Seeing your son's MIL like that and being reminded of your own mum must be difficult. My lovely mum died 30 years ago (not cancer). We still miss our mums, eh?
Doodle You had a busy time at church. Nice to have lunch with friends later.
Wyllow3 That's a lovely photo. You slept a lot yesterday (the night before). Do you sleep all night? Blurry eyesight isn't good. Hope the eye specialist appointment won't take too long, and that something can be treated so that you'll still be able to drive.
EllieAnne Can you perhaps contact your bank or credit card company and get the transaction cancelled? Things can be sorted out.
nadateturbe How long was the course of antibiotics you last had? I've always asked the GP for 7 days for a UTI. I think it is wise for you to take the new course and postpone the colonoscopy.

I spoke too soon about feeling better - I had a horrible night. Tired today, so slept for an hour. Dizzy, earache and (still) a sore throat, so I've told DIL it wouldn't be fair to LG to be here tomorrow (I'd hate her to get it), and I'll try to see a GP tomorrow. On the plus side, I've lost 4lbs since Thursday. x

nadateturbe Sun 01-Mar-26 17:42:25

Thank you Wyllow3.
I hope this makes sense.
So, I finished uti antibiotics 2 wks ago. Colonoscopy booked for Tuesday. Last Tuesday test showed uti not cleared. Given more antibiotics but didn't start as Kingsbridge say you can't have antibiotics before a colonoscopy. But I think I should take the antibiotics and delay the colonoscopy for 2/3 weeks. As utis can become serious and I'm running to the loo a lot, and it seems its not a good idea to start them immediately after colonoscopy. .. I'm going to ring GP in the morning for his advice. But I just wondered what anyone else thinks. Maybe I'm worrying too much. I'm just so tired and fed up. Moan..moan...
I'm almost decided antibiotics first.

EllieAnne Sun 01-Mar-26 17:26:44

Mad e a stupid mistake with my credit card today.
After having a horrible week.
Feeling like giving up.

Wyllow3 Sat 28-Feb-26 23:13:42

I’m so very glad you have come in, nadateturbe. I wondered what was happening to you. It must be so difficult to be in the middle of all these consultations and not know what is going on in your own body. It must be exhausting with all the tests and consultations. Please keep us posted as best you can, and may more sunny days shine through your windows in every sense, and above all, the best options for you to feel better.

I’m glad you feel a bit better today, HVDY. That’s a nasty bug there. I’m glad you have Jaffa for furry warmth and company and hope you are well enough to get out soon as I know you like to best.

Warm wave Scaredycat. Are you getting out for coffee with DD these days in the mornings?

So, Sweetpeasue, you had a sock thief staying with you? It sounds like a good furry time. I hope DH being very tired is just for today, has he been overdoing it a bit? He must get so frustrated at times.

It sounds like you coped as best you could with your bad two days by going to the church, Doodle, being busy with others, and lunch together. Coping as best you can. I await more jigsaw reports, 4 pieces at a time...maybe your grandson could “help out”…

I slept nearly 10 hours last night and had my usual afternoon sleep and an hour was enough at the gym, but a page has been turned in my book.

Still very nervous about going to Quakers that some will blame me, I have to ride it out and see how it goes.

Putting off writing to my psychiatrist with my list of weight gain, blurred vision, hair loss etc etc - probably because she might not be able to do much, there aren't many drug options.

Of them all, the vision has to be the most important - driving. The doc last week offered to refer me to eye specialist, I’ll decide when I see my bestest doc on Monday for MOT.

But last night was a dose of normality after months of you know what. It was the first evening out for months. When we get the light nights I’ll drive out on my own to my favourite spots.

Tonights moon and stars. I love the moon shining down on me

Doodle Sat 28-Feb-26 19:51:50

Sweetpeasue th.ank you for your kind words. I’ve had a bit of a dip yesterday and today. Busy day today helped and church tomorrow.
Hope you had lots of cuddles with Fluffball, nice of you to visit your son’s MIL. Must be difficult.
HvDY hope you’ve felt better today though it sounds as though your still shivery. Glad you had a cuddle from Jaffa, I think the wine relaxes me. Some say it’s a depressant but o find it helps me. I didn’t drink at all when DH was in hospital and I was severely depressed then.
Scaredycat been cleaning all the silver in church today and polished the pews. Others cleaned the brass and hoovered the seats, dusted and a general tidy up. Went for lunch after with friends which was nice.
Wyllow under any other circumstances the wave would have gone to the charity shop or in the bin but as our grandson bought it especially for me it will be done. Might take a couple of years but it will be done 🤣. Glad you had a good night out.
nadateturbe I am so sorry you are still struggling so much. I don’t know how they diagnose MS but I would think it’s important to know if it’s ME or MS causing your problems. Treatments could be quite different. Lovely of you to pop in. Always good to hear from you

Sweetpeasue Sat 28-Feb-26 18:49:10

Nadateturbe Thankyou for that update - so nice to see you in but Im so sorry for all your are coping with. Not knowing what exactly is causing all your symptoms must be so frustrating and so much around ME symptoms may overlap into other things. Be kind to yourself and thankyou for all of your prayers . Hoping for some sort of turnaround in your illness - you need a break! X
Wyllow More waiting for Mr Chimney- well hope he comes Monday . Sounds as if the problem needs dealing with and not left to get worse. Glad you had a good evening out and seeing people in person is so much better than zoom.
HVDY You sound quite poorly and you're doing the right thing to rest and let yourself recover. Ah Jaffa having the cuddle opportunity . Pets can sense when someone's not right I think. You're welcome to the TCP though. Not as wet today so just took F for a little walk. She ran off with a sock this morning but slept OK at ours despite neighbour noise which she got used to.
* Scaredycat* I think you're right about animal's sensing things. Fluffball can be very full on though and thinks everyone she sees wants to cuddle her and she goes up to everyone. She's just been 'shorn' so has a lovely smooth coat ,very cuddly. Not sure what to make of DH , hes been extremely tired . Taken her back home now but her bed is here if they want us to have her again.
Doodle Hope youve had a good day seeing friends at church. Been quite a day here and took aunt out this morning after dropping off Fluffball. Then this afternoon went to son's and little talk with son's MIL. So much reminds me of losing my mum to cancer 26 yrs ago.

Wishing all a peaceful night and love to all.x

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 28-Feb-26 17:04:33

nadateturbe Good to see you in. When might you get a definite diagnosis?

ScaredyCat Thank you. I showered and went back to bed for an hour this afternoon, as I was so shivery (heating on and a blanket). Jaffa joined me grin.

Scaredycat Sat 28-Feb-26 16:31:24

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- Glad DH is enjoying the new car.Hope the angina has settled again - it does sound as if it has lessened. Early days after the treatment- I,m sure a bit of an exercise every day is good for him.
So sorry your DS MiL is now so poorly- what a sad time for the family. Fluffball must sense something is not right- animals pick up on all sorts of things don’t they. Have a rest today no sit and cuddle her- it,ll do you both good.
Wyllow- Oh dear- Mr Chimney. Hope he’s there bright and early on Monday and that the problem can be easily- and cheaply- solved.
How great for you to have a proper night out with lots of things that interest you to chat about. You have missed that for so long. Here’s to many more.
HVDY- so sorry you felt so awful yesterday but you did allthe right things so hopefully today’s improvement continues.
Thanks - yes it’s so nice to go out and eat together with friends and family.
Nadateturbe- lovely to hear from you but you are indeed having a very hard time at the moment. A definitive diagnosis would help and hopefully meds to help your energy levels. Love to hear from you.
Doodle- enjoy your wine- you deserve it and you can raise your glass to your wonderful husband.
Hope you enjoy Church tomorrow.
EllieAnne- how are you today?

Love to all - those mentioned and all the lovely people who call in from time to time.

nadateturbe Sat 28-Feb-26 14:47:59

Hello everyone, I'm getting by. Still not feeling great, so many symptoms. Ongoing tests, consultations, I guess I'm just hoping for help to have more energy and not keep feeling so faint, which is the worst thing. I may just have to accept either M.E. is worse or its MS as neuro thinks.
Thinking of you all, and still including you in my prayers. I don't want to single anyone out, as everyone's life and problems are important. I just do not have enough energy to say all I want to, but I can't resist saying well done on finding a car Sweetpeasue.
Thanks for remembering me. Hopefully I will get back some time soon.
Love to you all.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 28-Feb-26 09:08:52

ScaredyCat Glad your husband enjoyed his birthday. It's always good to go out for meals.
Doodle Your jigsaw sounds complicated, but I expect you've got a lot of patience. Those feelings of missing your husband are inevitable, and if a glass or two of wine helps, then you do that. Does it help you to sleep?
SweetpeaSue So glad you've got the break to the cottage to look forward to. I remember you posting photos of the lambs. I bet Fluffball likes seeing you. Will you be able to take her out for a walk, or is it too wet out? It's raining here - again.
Wyllow3 Mr Chimney might have thought the weather was too bad to do anything. I hope he turns up on Monday. Glad you enjoyed your chatty evening, especially with food and wine.

I felt so rough yesterday - feverish, dizzy and headache, so I showered and went back to bed, 2-5pm (I only ever go to bed when I feel very unwell). A bit better this morning. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Wyllow3 Fri 27-Feb-26 23:34:44

No wonder it’s so difficult for DiL and your son, Sweetpeasue, it’s so hard to care at that level but….she would feel worse if Mum wasn’t there…. I’m so glad too about the cottage.

Great that you enjoyed your evening out, Scaredycat. Energy emerges from goodness knows where once you are out and people around you chatting.

You certainly have a lot of patience with that wave, Doodle. Will you persist, do you think..don’t let it defeat you!
The smallest thing can sometimes trigger, talking of waves, huge waves of memory, of feeling..and all you can do, is ride them until the strength of the water gently fades, but definitely help it along with a large glass of wine. It softens the impact and one lands just that little more gently. No virtue in suffering more than necessary.

I hope the Tonsillitis doesnt blossom into something big, HVDY. Now TCP - my mum swore by it. The smell is both evocative and sort of comforting, and thats just what we used to do, gargle with it. Maybe when Jaffa pounces on you tomorrow morning you will be croak and pain free, I do hope so, or its stay in and keep warm instructions.

Mr Chimney didn’t come again! Sent a somewhat suspicious WhatsApp at 11.05 saying he was in bed with a lurgy. Hmmmm (why not first thing?….) Now fixed for Monday morning promise first call. The trouble is…the implications of the damp having hit the supporting timbers at the edge of the roof is mind blowing and ££££

- je can only reasonably make sure that the job he did, which was to fix any water ingress in the chimney area, is complete: however, hopefully offer advice re the rest.

I made that clear today, ie not expecting you to fix the timbers if they are rotting, because there hasn’t been enough time since he came for the timber to rot, only get wet. I also gave him a super reference on his website, and he knows I am techie etc etc…..

Anyway - I went out tonight to a “do”, with a speaker and food and a great evening of natters around things I care about. A lot of meetings with these folks have been Zoom only, and it’s different “in person”. The speaker knew how to be both brief and engaging and a couple of glasses of wine I found I had stayed for nearly 3 hours and was so glad I went, I got a lift both ways. 🙂

Thinking of those not in awhile - how are you? And to anyone who pops in and doesn’t post, warmest greetings.

Sweetpeasue Fri 27-Feb-26 20:22:10

HVDY Hope you're not feeling too bad- tonsillitis can be really nasty. Try and get a good night's rest.
Scaredycat It's true - I felt quite sad about leaving our old car today. Unfortunately it wasnt the last time - as we drove away with the keys and DH was called by the car salesman so had to go back. Such lovely post to all.
Wyllow Dont know what to make of the angina episodes. None for a few dys then yesterday and today DH felt breathless . Hope you managed the Gym today and had a chat with someone.
Doodle I just cant imagine the huge gap left by your DH- so many little things we talk about and you must miss that so much. Do go ahead with your large glass of wine and hope you feel little better. Your DH is with you. Sending a hug.

Been really tiring today and quite nervous about the car but DH gave it a bit of a run and is getting used to it. Son has just brought Fluffball for the night. MIL had v bad night and needed nurses so Fluffball with us as shes been getting excited.
Hope everyone has a peaceful night.x

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