Black Dogs 28

Oh HVDY, really rotten! Especially that its so hard to treat and that you don't have any idea what courses them!!!!!!
The best one might say is the afternoon tea thing it might take your mind off it!

(It was just a trim/blow dry, and yes I love my hairdresser it must be 8 years I've known her, and yes it is silly to go for a swim after a blow dry)

Wyllow Yes, this thing is incredibly painful, and it throbs. I'd had every antibiotic, tried bathing in Dettol, avoiding deodorant, washing with Hibiscrub (the pink stuff doctors wash their hands with) as it occasionally affects one of my armpits. The hospital couldn't say what causes it, so I've got no way of knowing how to avoid these abscesses. What did you have done to your hair? Do you enjoy going? I think most women do, but I don't like it. Nice to have a swim when the pool was quiet.

Going to the skittles/afternoon tea thing, although I'd really like to sit at home in my pyjamas all day. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

sorry for my grammar, I've been writing all evening and did get that right...just tired..

Your anxiety is very understandable, Sweetpeasue, but I think your and DH's chat about it being "early days" does make sense, his chest has been very inactive, and now he can breathe deeply it might have suddenly "twigged" the angina, and the gradual exercise thing you said really really made sense! Just think - when the sun and warmth comes back, some gentle walks and gardening. x

I have a better picture of your week now HVDY so thank you!

but oh my goodness what a horrible abscess thing in your groin..have you any idea why? Is it out of the blue? I hope it clears quickly, it must hurt a lot?

Is that the friend in your block of flats, Doodle, or a church one? It sounded gently sociable and so nice for her!

Wave to a busy Scaredycat...and absent friend BD's.

It really heed talking to my worker, and I shall ring her more often now she is aware of it all and the details and the stage matters are at. It had got bad enough I was blaming me, it must be my fault for things being bad. I've had a nice day with hairdresser and short swim in a very quiet pool.

I did miss the meeting but have been writing and printing off stuff as I've a 10am meeting with the mediator lady, the really good one, to talk aways ahead, and I;ve certainly "nailed it" with a letter to MrA about why X and y have to be in the report. (long story short - they are actually required by the R Justice
process)

and I pointed out that at the same time he had signed police documents pleading guilty to Sexual Assault he was writing and talking to Quakers "over enthusiastic hug

bit hard to wriggle out of that one?

but no results tomorrow, just a plan and reassurance.

HVDY Yes, thanks HVDY. Ive been scared for so long and I just wanted complete recovery after this procedure. The reality is that stents can offer an amazing amount of success, and Im so glad DH has had this done though its still early days and I shouldn't panic.

SweetpeaSue it's very early days yet for your husband. He needs to take things easy for a while. I'm glad he's breathing better. I won't need to see a GP, as I've had this condition for about 25 years, so they just give me a prescription for the cream I ask for. Hope you two have a good sleep.

Doodle Nice that you took you friend out for a meal. What did you have, and more importantly, did you have a pudding?

Night, everyone x

Doodle Your friend must have appreciated that birthday meal. Glad youve had company today. Hope you have a good time at your art class tomorrow -- and you theyre not using charcoal.
DH didnt have a GA though he was offered some pain relief at one point as they were inflating balloon to place stents. I think DH needs to gradually increase fitness capacity , though not in this first week. Hes been through a lot really. I guess we were just both surprised he had another angina episode and needed the spray. He's had such a tight chest but now he can breathe freely so hes much better than he was. Hope you have a good night's sleep.x

Evening all.
Scaredycat ive been out much of today too. Just got in from taking friend for a meal for her birthday. Didn’t know you went to WI. Have you been a member a long time?
Sweetpeasuepleased to hear DH is doing well after the stents. I must admit I was very surprised they let him out so soon I would have thought he’d be in hospital for at least a couple of days. He has had surgery and a general anaesthetic presumably. It takes a while to recover from that. Hope the angina stops. Good to hear his breathing is better,
Wyllow I’m so sorry you’re still suffering such stress over Mr.A. I had hoped this would all be settled by now but it keeps dragging on. Hope you had a more relaxing evening.
HvDY oh dear that abscess must be so painful. That will bring you down. Good they normally heal on their own but it’s in such a place you’re probably aware of it all the time.
Been another busy day for me. Tomorrow art class and visiting a friend. Take care all

Scaredycat You have a full day today - you really are living life to the full. It must be so hard trying to find words to support your poorly friend. Hope you can unwind a bit at the WI tonight.
Wyllow Im sorry youve had another awful night where you're all churned up about how this Mr A thing will pan out. I know its important that the outcome will be just and that Mr A is not let off lightly. I hope youve managed to release some of your worries to the worker today. Might be good idea to avoid the Quaker group tonight if you think it might stir things up and make you feel worse. Yes, last night DHs breathing was quiet again and I felt relieved -- until later when DH had an angina attack 😔
But its early days -- isnt it?
HVDY Oh you poor soul -- the abscess sounds horrible and must be so painful to walk ect. I do hope it goes away quickly. Dont hesitate to get that cream - I know getting to see GP can be difficult but that abscess is surely very good reason to see someone. Hope it doesnt interfere with you going out tomorrow to Day Centre.
Nadateturbe Do hope you're feeling a little better. Think of you often even when you're not in.
DoodleEllieAnne Hope youve both had a reasonable day.

I didnt go to book group today as its not long since DH had stents in and would feel unsettled away. We've both felt so relieved about the difference in his breathing. He felt like an elephant was sat on his chest and its been removed. I drove to a coffee shop( DH not allowed to drive for a week) and he was OK then after we came out- car only about 50yds away- he had angina and needed spray. Quiet in car on way back. Both of us so down. I really thought he was going to be better - at least for a couple of yrs maybe. After a bit of a talk we both realised that its only a couple of days and there might be bruising ect around where stents were placed. So hope that's right. Ive googled about recovery times after angioplasty and everyone different but if he continues to have angina attacks after a couple of weeks he'll need to see GP. But theres no doubt he can breath deeply again which is wonderful- thankyou Cardiology surgeon.

Wishing all a peaceful night xx

SweetpeaSue Glad your husband had a night without wheezing. Hope he'll continue to do well.

Wyllow3 Not done anything today. Monday was LG day, tomorrow is day centre - a day at a social club for afternoon tea (for lunch) and skittles. Sorry things aren't going right but hope the whole MrA situation will soon be resolved.

ScaredyCat Busy day altogether for you. You'll sleep well.

Hope everyone has been ok. I'm fed up as I've got a flare-up of this Hidradenitis Suppurativa, so a huge (2 or 3in)abscess under the skin in my groin crease. They usually go down without treatment, after about a week. If not, I'll ask the GP for the (only) cream that has an effect. Hope everyone has a restful night x

Hi all
Short post today as have been out all day . This morning was my Art friends then this afternoon my poorly friend. I ,m out tonight too at WI so will be even more knackered later. Sorry you,ve had such torment Wyllow - do hope there is an end to it soon. Love to all and hope you all have peaceful nights. xxxxx

Arranged in advance, not in a dance. No grinning at the back there...

Another bad night but I coped better basically by putting on easy watches like Death in Paradise seen a million times to doze with: and I have spent a lot of this morning working on a final draft of a document for MrA and me to sign, which he wont like much but it will be in the hands of the mediators to try and action it. Plus a mail to MrA that is hopefully placatory and helpful.

One of my workers is coming today at 12.30 - arranged in a dance, it's every 3 weeks now, could be helpful at least I can report on my state of mind for her.

One of my eyes is twitching, a sure sign or strain. I'm afraid I bought a vape last night, but haven't been over using it.

But its been a more peaceful morning in my head, perhaps becuase I'm trying to take control of the situation.

I've got my nice hairdressing lady later, then something I might pull out of as its too much - there is what should be a nice little Quaker womans spiritual support group in the evening, but its a long way at a time I'm usually resting, and also D, the woman, who accused me of fabricating the assault, is in it!

I was glad to read, Sweetpeasue, that DH had had a night without wheezing. Did that happen last night too? How are things now?

Has your day been busier, today, HVDY? Has it been a LG day, or the day centre? (sorry to have forgotten which day, you go.

You are right about being able to say things to a friend that you cannot to a family, Sweetpeasue. That is so important to your poorly friend - to have that loving listening where she can speak without fear of the "effect' on her family.

Evening all. I’ve been out most of the day today, sit fit, hairdresser and church meeting this evening. Not been in long and I’m very tired so I’ll just wish you all well and catch up tomorrow.
Wyllow better news at the end of the day, Hope all works out ok*

today has been the grimmest day for some time. I had another night where I woke up feeling I was at the end of my tether depression wise, but there was the meeting to look forward to.

Then I got a WhatsApp which called the meeting off becuase one of them is ill and off sick and the leader of the two was working from home as with a heavy cold and croaky. I felt utterly desolate and frightened of my own feelings.

I freaked out but managed to let her know how bad I felt. MrA had done nothing, contacted nobody. It became obvious, when I rung F again, that he had wrongly got the impression that all was required of him was to write the Statement. Which, of course, acknowledged the assault, but not the lies he then out out about the nature of the encounter.

Then I really was desperate, for the Restorative Justice people had told me that they couldn't be involved anymore except to produce the end report. MrA could just do nothing - with impunity. But she did say that the official report may be fast forwarded to out by the end of the day and a copy to me and the report mentioned both the Assault and the falsifying of what had happened by MrA.

I went to bed and had a short sleep, then felt I couldnt take anymore, that was it.

It took me all my courage at 4pm to go out to the gym not disappear inwards to a bad place. The gym helped. then I went to my Costa and checked my emails.

Not only did I get the report but also something new - a commitment, which goes beyond what was part of the process - to support for me (well, and involvement with MrA too of course) until the Statement is properly written by MrA with my imput, it has and will be a joint statement.

Just to confuse matters MrA has just written to me confusing matters further saying he'd agree to sign my draft if I just miss out an and B. I'll refer him back to the workers, he needs to see the summary and confer with them.

Sorry with being self obsessed, I'm struggling to keep my MH intact!

Wyllow I too hope you have got justice today. You've worked hard for it.
Nadateturbe Im so sorry you're having a tough time lately. I hope it's followed by a kinder time of relief from the many different symptoms of your illness.
HVDY Yes we've had a quiet time like yourself today. Ive been so tired after the anxious day yesterday. DH is on those Clopidxxxx whatever it is, that you are taking.
Scaredycat My eldest son is 49 and I was a young mum too. I think many mums were young then. Yes last night was the first night in such a long time that my DH wasnt wheezing while breathing- it was so noticeable.
Doodle Hope youve had a reasonable day and seen friends.
EllieAnne Hope your cough is going.

Sorry short post tonight - just feel knocked out. Hope all have a peaceful night.x

SweetpeaSue I hope you and your husband have been relaxing today. It's so good that he had the correct treatment, largely due to your insistence that things weren't right with him.
Wyllow3 Hope you got some help from the justice people today.
nadateturbe Hope today has been a bit better for you.
ScaredyCat My boys went to sftplay places a few times, but we used to prefer to take them to parks. Your GGC will be ok in getting to and from school, so that's good.
Doodle How's your day been?

Didn't go out today - did a few things at home, and watched tv as well. Hope everyone has been ok x

Hi all
Doodle- GGD has a combination of Mum or Mums neighbour to get to school as GD1 is a teacher . Then picked up by Mum or train home and met at station. As you say a different direction for GGS will present more logistical working out and it is a different direction😩
I too can’t believe how old my children are- 61and63!, Step children younger but not that much! We were young Mums weren’t we. Annie would have loved those snowdrop pictures wouldn’t she.
SweetPeaSue- it must have been so lovely to get home with DH and know that at last he has had the treatment you have fought so long and hard for. What a journey you have been on. Hope you had a peaceful sleep.
Wyllow- Glad F is there for you. She sounds like she has a quiet but calming influence. What a ridiculous person who made that comment re the assault. Hope today’s meeting has gone well. You have had enough of it now I,m sure.
I,m just glad that my friend lives very close so we can get to her very easily. Her family are lovely but sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t as close as your children are.
Nadateturbe- sorry you feel so grotty again- hope better days come again soon. Thanks for posting.
HVDY- hope you,ve had a good day. Yesterday sounded fun.My kids would have loved something like soft play when they were little.
EllieAnne- the snow drops are beautiful. Thank you for those lovely photos. You seem to enjoy photography - would it would be possible to join a group. You take good photos.

Love to all - how is everybody not mentioned

Thanks Wyllow3 for much needed hug.x

Morning nadateturbe I'm sorry you are feeling poorly and of course down at heart. Have a hug.

Sweetpeasue Glad husband is safely home. Thanks to surgeon for wonderful treatment. And son, I'm sure he's tired too. Hope last night was peaceful, and DH is comfortable and soon feels the benefit.
Lovely photos EllieAnne, thanks.
Doodle I was playing Oh Lord hear my prayer.
Can't post much, not feeling well. Not having a great time.

*Sweetpeasue at home at last! You’ll all be very tired tomorrow. And a big good for your son.

What a thoroughly nice play and soft play day, HVDY. The soft play places are so super - I wish we’d had them when our children were little and it’s a grotty wet cold day.

Reassurance? No. Action - some Justice?
as regards what should have been done - not given any support person when Mr A was - knowing it won't happen to anyone else, including the cruel idiocy of the influential Quaker who told me there could not have been an assault as she had had a MrA hug and it wasn’t an assault.

I am very thankful for friend F’s understanding, she’s been the only one who really has, but not the sort of person who will stand out and shout.

Anyway tomorrow morning I see the Justice help people they are both back at work and want to get it sorted too, they have other cases.

Doodle..I cant believe your sons are 52 and 50! Were you a very young mum? (I didn’t have DS till I was 30) Oh, a Taize singing session - how lovely.

It can’t have been an easy time with your friend, Scaredycat but a great comfort to her, having someone who. Loves and understands.

Thankyou Doodle and * Scaredycat*
Yes, very tired but so lovely to have DH home again having had the treatment he has needed for so long.
Surgeon was great and told DH straight away that he knew where the arteries involved had been causing angina as hed seen the narrowing on screen.
DH is relieved as he thought they might not do anything. Dont know where we could have gone if nothing was done this time.
Night all and thankyou for all you support. X

Hi all
Just a quickie as had a busy day and spent several hours with my poorly friend too.
SweetPeaSue- just want to say how pleased I am that DH has had his treatment and hope it will make his life much more comfortable. You have fought long and hard for him and been a wonderful support- I hope you have a peaceful nightxx
Good night allxx

Sweetpeasue so pleased your Dh has had stents and wires in to open his arteries. You were so right to stick to your guns. He obviously needed treatment. Hope the procedures help and he makes a good recovery. Lots of people are on blood thinners. They help stop strokes from blood clots forming.
I bet it’s been a really long day. You will be exhausted now but so relieved to have him home. So pleased for you both.
Wyllow sons are 52 and 50. I find it hard to believe.
Sorry you had such a bad night. I hope the Mr A thing can be resolved soon and you can have some peace.
HVDY they worked in a research laboratory for Unilever, I bet you had a nice time with LG. Lovely to be able to play with them at that age. Such imagination.
Scaredycat how will your GGC get to school? Is there a bus? Difficult if they’re in opposite directions. Hope you’ve had a good day. Very grey here but brightened up later.
Ellie Anne thank you so much for sharing your photos. What a magical place the woods are with all those snowdrops. How lovely.
nadateturbe I was singing your user name last night at my Taize service 😊