Black Dogs 28

To answer your question nadateturbe.….Still ask the relatives if they will come and see you.
A “no” or prevarication will hurt, but nothing venture? I think of the years I “haven’t asked” time wasted because I was either afraid of it would be a “no”, or convinced it would be, because I felt I was so unacceptable to be with and so on and so on.

What a rich lovely colour, for the bedding, HVDY. I’m impressed with every 5 days bed changing, Its 2 weeks here, when the cleaner comes. Sometimes a fresh pillowcase, but I’ve never been that bothered.

I hope the time with your friend went well EllieAnne. Did you get sun? I’ve had none here, yet. I’ve found some snowdrops at the end of the garden, I might move the whole clump down near the house.

That song expresses my feelings so much at different times in the last 22 years. Robbie Williams himself has come to terms with some of his demons and has a wife and kids. Its an incredibly popular song - so many relate to it, so many don’t speak up about MH.

Hooray! DS news from Scaredycat. How sort of ordinary, but profound too, in the circumstances, to see DS and DD together. Yes, it would be good to see them all…can it ever be arranged, how often does your DS abroad come over? Nice to have those meals out tho. Quietly enjoying them. Most of us don’t appreciate it quite as much till be get older do we? Take a lot for granted.

I did get to see DocSis. !!!!!!!! She popped over first thing, except it was supported to be just half and hour at 9.15, but we just couldn’t stop nattering and she stayed till 11am just right. ☺️ I havent been out today, I have started seriously going through my artwork and throwing away/photographing/deciding what to keep and it feels good.

There are so many pictures and photos it reminds me how good many of them were technically but not to hang onto most anymore just the ones personally “special”. I’ve got a file of prints just to give away to people that want them.
I haven’t been out: I had a sleep: I’ve a busy day tomorrow, back to Quakers after 3 weeks off poorly, hopefully a bit of gym. Obvs quakers a bit of a challenge

Today I drafted a sort of template for him to write our “Agreement Letter” as I suspect he will not find it easy to do, I’m much more used to drafting statements around emotions and bits of psychology: I don’t want to leave to to him when we have the final meeting on Feb 3rd - and find he hasn’t written anything of real use. But yes, I am sort of beginning to move on, clearing the art stuff out, seeing sis, my son coming down next Saturday for half a day, all helps.

I’m still getting appalling nights and struggle to pick myself up - but I always do…and as long as I can turn it around and face the day… it’s OK.

Well Sweetpeasue an Angiogram will be incredibly useful, wont it? I presume it will give information about blood flow around the whole body? How have you both been?

I hope the rest of today has been OK after lunch with friends, Doodle. Will you just be going to the service tomorrow or helping out as well?

Good evening Scaredycat sounds like you're having a great time. Those family meals must feel so special. I can just picture you smiling as you look round everyone. Building memories. I hope you have lots of photos. It's lovely having your son and daughter together, but it's sad your other dear son isn't with them.
It's difficult for children visiting from a distance, so many people to catch up with. I see your art group is the same as ours. We all just love chatting!
It was difficult to walk yesterday. It's not completely cleared, and I hate the thought of more antibiotics, they don't really agree with me. But needs must. I'm half asleep most of the time.
Sweetpeasue It's shocking what's happening in the US. I, too can't watch anything unpleasant. Has to be mostly happy light programmes, although at the minute we're enjoying Dickens on BBC.
Your husbands surgery is something I've heard of. They put the dye in so they know where to put the stent. I know people who have had it done. They will reassure him at his pre-assessment.
Doodle It really is amazing what they can do now, isn't it? Just a pity it takes so long to access the care.
We're with PlusNet, I know little about it. DH deals with it. But I know he's happy with it.
I understand about children visiting together. And my DD is a full-time worker but it is over a year and I would love to see her. My son and wife have their own business and he can suit himself. So they could come on a weekend. It doesn't usually bother me too much, just feeling a little sorry for myself at the minute.

Enjoy church tomorrow. I love how many churches are more social now, rather than the congregation going straight home after the service.

Scaredycat it must be so lovely having this visit from your son and seeing him with your DD. Nice he’s getting out and meeting people as well as spending time with you.
Yes church in the morning and probably coffee after and a chat.
Sweetpeasue yea I think that’s a reasonably common way of putting in stents. My friend is due to have one put in her eye soon. It’s amazing what they can do. I hope your Dh is feeling a bit more positive now things are being taken more seriously,
Ellie Anne I love snowdrops. Your woodland walk sounds lovely.
nadateturbe I know several people whose adult children hardly ever seem to visit. Everyone seems to have such busy lives these days. If I can’t arrange for mine to come together then I try and see them separately. Sometimes it’s difficult for them to get the same fee time.
HVdY yes I might have made a mistake with Talk Talk. I will see how things go over the next few weeks. Mind you, BT/EE were useless.
Wyllow hope you are having a relaxing weekend and things are better for you now with regard to Mr A.
I’ve been for lunch with friends today. Not feeling very full after dinner. Overdone it again.

Nadateturbe Yes I suppose I was a funny little thing- probs still am though not so little.😄 Hope the antibiotics are making a difference by now.
EllieAnne Did you get that woodland walk? I love little snowdrops, they seem such a modest little flower.
HVDY Your new bedding sounds really nice . I'll have to look out for it in Asda. Just found out a man has been shot today by ICE agents - its really awful whats happening . My DH likes watching those surgery programmes - bit too graphic for me. Glad the sore gums are not stopping Jaffa from eating.
Scaredycat It must feel so good for your son to be with you though only natural it will remind you of your other dear son and how he's missing from your family. Your DD must be so excited to see her brother too. He will have other of friends to catch up with too ( my own son likes to do that when he comes down). Enjoy your time with him.
I know we are all friends here and I agree its such a warm group.
Doodle Hope youve been OK today.
DH got a letter and I was a little mistaken about the stent procedure( dont want to mislead) Apparently its an Angiogram, where dye is put into arteries through the wrist so they can see which ones are stopping the blood flowingfreely. They can then use a stent at the same time , and I think they will most likely do so with DHs case.
He has a pre-assesment on Thursday so he can ask questions then.
Enjoy seeing friends at church tomorrow.
Wyllow Thakyou for your musical offering - Ive never heard that before. Do hope you are looking after yourself and still have that peace of mind that has been missing since the Mr A incident.

Wishing all a peaceful night.x

Hi all
DS has gone to Footie today and will see old friends there some have a free afternoon . I,ve caught up with all your posts .Wht a truly kind,supportive group you all are. Every one of you has problems of one sort or another and deal with them with such bravery and compassion for each other. Thank you for being my friends. It’s wonderful to have DS with us. What makes me the most happy is to see him and DD together. How I wish their brother was with them too. It’s been hard having him live abroad but it’s how he deals with the past.
Nadateturbe- Oh you poor thing those boils must feel like the last straw.So painful and difficult to deal with. It must feel uncomfortable to walk so well done for walking to the pharmacy.
I do hope when Spring comes you get the visits you yearn for.
My Art Class was the same. We loved the tea breaks and sometimes felt like naughty schoolkids sometimes taking long ones and getting a bit of a ticking off.
SweetPeaSue- Oh thank goodness . At last things are moving apace for your DH. All your efforts and fighting are finally being taken seriously as they should have been months ago.
Auntie must have been so pleased to see you. At least with her memory problems it won’t hve seemed long since Christmas.
Yes do rest as much as you can . You have used up so many reserves these last few months.
HVDY- poor Jaffa- sounds like sore gums aren’t going to stand in the way of his tummy. One of DD cats has only 1 tooth and he’s the greediest ,quickest eating cat I,ve ever seen. He’s like a thing possessed when food is around.
You really have been through the mill and yet remain so active
Making the most of your days and your lovely family.
Loving having DS here as I miss him terribly but am very lucky that DD is only round the corner so can pop in easily.
Doodle- glad you got out for a walk- how did you feel afterwards?
We,ve had a couple of evenings out with family. Just looking round the table I felt so grateful to still be here with those I love.
It,ll be Sunday tomorrow- don’t they come round quickly. Hope you enjoy tomorrow’s service and get to see friends afterwards.
Wyllow- there is a lovely note of positivity and acceptance in your “voice” . You so deserve those good times and companionship. So good you’re back at the Gym and meeting up with your friends again. It’s learning to pace yourself isn’t it- not easy when you want to grab life by the horns!
So sorry to hear about your nephew. It sounds like it could have been much worse. What a horrible thing to happen at such a lovely time for them.hope he’s soon on the mend. Shame you won’t see Doc Sis but glad you have March to look forward to. Did they have a boy or girl?
EllieAnne- enjoy your Snowdrop walk. Lovely little flowers of hope.
Candy- have you moved yet? Hope you are OK.
Allsorts- how are you this weekend.

Love to all mentioned and all friends

ScaredyCat Hope you're having a nice visit from your son.

Thanks for that Sweetpeasue I find it hard to express myself in a few words. I agree about AC, I'd much rather feel they want to come.
Just listened Wyllow3 and googled the lyrics. Never really listened before. Described how he was feeling at that time so well. And I imagine most people could relate to some of those feelings.
HVDY it's shocking what some people do. Something similar on the news yesterday. I try not to watch programs like that. Although they are interesting.
Your bedding sounds unusual-quilted.
EllieAnne sounds like a nice day planned. Hope the weather holds out. We have primroses coming up.
Hope today is good for you all. Must get myself out of bed...soon.

Wyllow I didn’t know that song but the words are powerful.
I’m going to the library then to see a friend.
Maybe go to the woods later. The snowdrops are coming out.
I like the sound of that bedding Hvdy.

Doodle My husband's sister has got Talk Talk for landline, internet and mobile 'phne. Her internet is very slow, the landline cuts off every so often. She's on a contract as well.
SweetpeaSue You knew what you liked as a child . I change the beds every 5 days or so. Rest when you need to. A friend of mine (68) goes to sleep every afternoon.
nadateturbe The programme was 24 hours in Police Custody and we watched it later. A man in his 60s shot (and killed) at close range, his ex-son in law and the lad's dad. He didn't show one bit of remorse, nor answer any questions. My new bedding is dark green and quilted, from Asda. It was very cosy. It's a shame about your AC being further away, and I hope they will visit you soon.

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Still ask what Wyllow3 ?

Still ask, nadateturbe.

today Robbie Williams has been featured, and I wanted to bring this song to us (I may have posted it way back). To me, its the "mental health anthem"

The words are knock out...and so honest

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9JlqyW_GAk&list=RDm9JlqyW_GAk&start_radio=1

Nadateturbe What profound understanding you show to everyone here. It certainly means a lot to me to show you understand Fibro. You have such a severe illness in your M.E/CFS.
About AC, yes, its something that can be hurtful indeed- but I know myself. Id rather have them visit of their own volition than make them feel they have to. I wont say more-- but Ive read so many GN posts who have the same feelings. I do hope your antibiotics work soon to give you some relief. Thankyou for your v kind posts to us all here.

Missed your post Sweetpeasue. You were a funny little thing straightening your sheet lol.
Fibromyalgia and CFS/ME can both cause tiredness. Symptoms overlap, so it's understandable you need to rest.
I'm sure your DH will be OK. They'll take very good care of him. xx

Goodnight everyone, hope its a peaceful one for you.

Scaredycat hope you're having a good day eith DS.
EllieAnne hope you're safely home.

HVDY it's good that Jaffa is still enjoying his food.
How annoying that your electricity went off. I hope you get your program on catchup.
You'll enjoy climbing into your lovely fresh bed. What colour did you get?
Wyllow3 it's great you got to the gym, but please don't overdo it, you aren't long out of hospital. But I'm happy for you, it's good to see people. Sometimes the social side is more important than the activity. I know in our art group, we can't wait for tea break. Nice having a Costa so close to pop into on a daily basis. And yes, being a home bird will help you be more content I think.. It's good that your sister understands your limitations. I'm sure you're looking forward to visiting.
I hope her son is ok. It sounds pretty serious but could have been worse.
I have people I could meet, I'm just very low in energy , and it actually is a bit of a problem socialising now, because I see people so little. There's not a lot I can do about it.

Good evening Doodle I hope you enjoyed your walk. It's a bit difficult at the minute to have a totally dry walk. But it's nice to get fresh air andza bit of exercise. A bit ironic of Talktalk, I agree. Oh for the days when we quickly got answered by a real person!

To answer about visits, I have two children in England. One has no responsibility, plenty of money and could fly over any time. He's only an hours flight away. He said he might come in the summer. The other has children, but she could come for a quick visit when they are with their dad at the weekend. I've always told them anytime they want to come, just say, and I will happily pay flights and hotel. . I do envy those who can meet for coffee or go shopping together.
I would love my mum to be here. I'd be at her door like a shot.
I will, when spring comes, tell them it would be lovely if they both visited at the same time, even just an overnight. But I don't even like doing that.

Thanks * Doodle* Yes things are finally getting underway- Im so relieved - Ive had the worst thoughts and anxiety along the way. Poor DH having to put up with all too.
Grrr , we have talk talk for landline and Internet. I know exactly your feelings there. I still can't make out how they put together the 'plans' . We're still under contract so can't move anywhere else at present. Funny you reminding them of their name !
* EllieAnne* Hope youve settled in back home.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Nadateturbe Our AC seem to have such busy lives dont they-- hope you see them soon.
Ah that 'Have a nice day' trotted out by so many without a thought. The irony in it from the pharmacy when you're feeling so unwell. Well done for that walk there.
HVDY Its nice to have something to look forward to , like your holiday.
Funny , we had a power cut the other night. Didnt affect the Internet though.
There's nothing like getting in to a freshly made bed , I agree. Dont know why it makes such a difference. When I was a child my mum was hugy amused by myself sometimes getting up in the night to pull my bottom sheet absolutely staight( as tight as a drum!) I'd have to remake my bed.
Wyllow Oooh your poor nephew - he must be in such a bad way. He will be so glad to see your sis to help out. Good you can still see your sis in March though. There are people in Costa that often talk to each other and become Costa friends. There's a lady there who often comes over to speak to us and we to her.
I understand the burn out on those half days. I had to go to bed this afternoon after taking aunt out . I guess its the Fibro with myself but I know you have M.E. which is something youll need to pace yourself with .
Yes, its been a long time getting there with DH. 18mths since he first started with the breathlessness and GP had him down for Spirometry tests which never happened. He refused to believe it was my DHs heart -- I KNEW it was and its been a nightmare with him being turned away with the Subclavian Steal and all.
I hope he gets through the procedure OK.

Evening all. Went for walk today. Wet in the way out but try for the return trip. Wasted an hour of my time in a text conversation with Talk talk. I did point out to the chap the absurdity of their name where they will only converse by text.
HVDY are you another that likes clean sheets. So nice to slip under the covers. Poor little Jaffa at lease he has love an attention that can make up for a lot.
Wyllow so sorry to hear about your nephew. Hope the damage can be repaired. What a shock for you all. Even half a day out is a wonderful improvement from where you were. Well done Wyllow
nadatrturbe is there a reason your children don’t visit. I haven’t seen mine for a bit but I know they’re close by but busy. What a lot you have to cope with. That boil sounds so painful. Hope the antibiotics work soon. I feel so sorry for all you have to cope with.
Sweetpeasue so pleased things are now moving forward at a pace. About time the NHS realised they’d let you down.
Scaredycat have you been out anywhere with your son? Are you visiting other family?

Wyllow3 Oh, your poor nephew. I hope his dental problem can be resolved. Has he got any other injuries? As you say, lucky he didn't hurt his head. How old is the new baby? I'm glad you're enjoying the gym and Costa again.

Changed both beds - bought new duvet sets from Asda. For some reason, I feel quite tired (lack of exercise today, I think), so I am looking forward to getting into my fresh bed later.

Sweetpeasue - it just jumped out at me - DH is being "looked out for" properly at last? This nurse has at last "pulled all the bits together" and acted fast. I hope as time goes on and treatment is appropriate and on time you can both relax just a bit....even have those few days at the Lakes again.... Not yet, of course...a backlog of stress for you to catch up on.... I'm glad you took Auntie out.

Yes well that did raise an ironic internal "huh" nadateturbe. "Have a good day".....Well, you cant force certain family to visit, but you can ask? I know what you mean when the shop its the exciting trip out if one compares - but tbh it IS a break out for me after a long time in, (mind you there is the Costa next door - I wish you had a nearby Costa to go to just 20 mins now and then to get "known".
I was never a traveller like Scardeycat was, bit of a home bird, maybe that makes it easier to accept the limitations MH has imposed for so very long?

Like today I'm thrilled cos I went to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks. I slept the afternoon, but got a big grin plastered on my face as I enjoy the social side so much. I am aware that life will be a half the day job for the foreseeable and have to make the best of it and cut plans for bigger ventures, except for the visit to DocSis in march, as it doesnt matter if I only appear half a day there and I know she'll take me to the sea!

Sadly.... DocSis is here, to see nephew, new baby, and me, but not me anymore, but it matters less cos of March.
- but nephew has had a pretty nasty bike accident (off roading) and she arrived yesterday..... to have to be nurse.
I helped them this morning with my excellent dentist as he has to have teeth reset (dont ask - he was lucky he didn't injure his head) but Sis needs to be there for them badly.

Sigh - poor Jaffa, HVDY. but thanks to you his quality of life is all it can be. Thank you for sharing your struggle back from the stroke. it matters we overcome things and can learn from each other.

nadateturbe I'm sorry you miss your family. Do they realise? Could you invite them to visit some time?

nadateturbe One person's problems aren't any more or less relevant anyone else's. We all have troubles at times. Jaffa will be OK- we'll do our best for him. His sore gums certainly don't affect his appetite. He's so greedy! Well done on having a walk and getting your medicine. I hope it helps you soon.

SweetpeaSue Things are moving along quickly now, for your husband. Not before time! You've done a great job of fighting to get help for him. I think he'll have a much better quality of life once he gets over the stent procedure. I bet your aunt enjoyed your visit.

DH and I were engrossed in a programme on C4 earlier when the electricity and Internet went off. It's all back now, but C4 won't load up. So frustrating.

Sweetpeasue Thank you for the hug, appreciated, but honestly I feels like I'm not a good sufferer. I wish my children would come and visit me, I think it would cheer me up.
I really hope and pray that things are moving properly now to get your DH as much help as possible, long overdue. It would make such a difference to both your lives.
That was nice, taking Auntie out.
I hope you have a restful evening.

PS, I managed a 15 minute walk and made it to the pharmacy to get my 3rd bottle of antibiotic. The assistant gave me the bottle and said Have a nice day. Which I thought was funny.

HVDY Yes I used the phrase to describe mentally but that must be really awful for your legs to feel like that.
What a lot 'they' have to answer for when you were in hospital .
Poor Jaffa - he has such a lot to put up with. Just as well he has such a kind ,responsible owner that will see to him.
Nadateturbe The continuous boils must be awful - I really feel for you. You have so much to cope with - makes me grateful for my own issues. Life is so hard - you keep battling on with all these assaults on your body. It must be truly exhausting even without the M.E.
I do hope the antibiotics work fast - sounds disgusting to drink. ( My finger is a tiny issue, really). Sending you a warm gentle hug.

At 9 this morning nurse called DH. He has a phone pre-assessment next Thursday and goes in for stent procedure the following Monday! I believe the nurse we saw knew about the previous failings - she wasnt surprised when DH mentioned it and it seem.s like they're trying to make up for us having to go to private Cardiologist. Anyway things are now moving thank goodness.
Took aunt out this afternoon as hadn't seen her since Christmas. Went to Costa in Tesco and she had a stroll round - me steering her through the aisles.
So tired now. Hoping your day is going the best it can. X

HVDY I don't think it's that, I've had a brief look, but I will check it out. Thank you. I feel awful for complaining now, when you've that to cope with on top of other things.
I think years ago I would have been one of those delicate ladies who sat on the couch all day
Poor Jaffa. I feel sorry for pets, they can't tell you how they feel.