Black Dogs 28

Oh Scaredycat..oh..it’s so awful…..one thing after another and when sis was getting better. Oh, so sad for her as recovery isn’t easy and as you say with the cancer recently gone into remission - how I feel for you all xxxx. I have a picture now of your friends DH, how hard for her they are apart but glad he can bury himself in Latin……xxx
Yes, a lesson for those who care so much for others, like they say, put your own Oxygen mask on first..make sure you carry on doing nice things for you.

Yes I thought it would be due that you were concerned DH would be OK on the holiday, Sweetpeasue. Iirc, the holiday before there were some good times, so of course as long as DH has his spray etc….getting away a bit can help so much.
I’d have loved that sea front walk, but yes, it has been cold. I had to look up Sanderlings.

Vasculitis clearly makes you very vulnerable HVDY. I think days like today you have to “give in” and lie around in order to get better for seeing LG and family.

I’m really glad you didn’t have to wait long for the water to come back on, Doodle. Is your umbrella pic fit to see (no pressure.. ).

My constipation is me fretting underneath I think, l”holding on”last week was a lot of strain: just got more advice from DocSis: (I have to walk more but its Ok to take extra laxatives etc etc)
Today was a lot better, as I had no “must do’s: I spend the morning printing some pictures out for the Discussion/Sharing tomorrow after Quakers on “what do we mean by “The Light” - how do we experience it. I realised that they wont get much of a showing but I loved doing it and the 8 pictures show different aspects of my spiritual experience (2 photos, 6 pix) - not so much great work at all, but expressive and I will probably frame them as a group tho goodness knows where to put them in small house - something will have to come down.

Then I went to the gym and did a good session focussing on new knee advice and felt” oh, this is the right thing to be doing” at last, then a chatty sauna and a chatty changing room after, the way I like it. Unfortunately I then slept till 7.30 so expect to be up late, but had chats with both DS and Sis.

Wyllow yes thank you it’s good having our sons and families close by, I did a watercolour painting of a woman with an umbrella in art. Hope you’re feeling better today.
HVDY that sounds painful. Hope it settles down soon and you are more comfortable. Good having family close by isn’t it.
Scaredycat so sorry about your sister. You must be so upset you can’t visit. I hope she recovers well after the operation. With all she’s been through it’s a worry. Pleased your SDil is home again. You’ve had so many worries recently. Such a lot going on. Sending hugs.
Sweetpeasue pleased you got a walk in this morning. I thought it was surprisingly cold despite the sun.
Nadateturbe hoping you get a bit stronger soon.

We had no water this morning. Burst water pipe on the main road outside. My friend and I went out for lunch and fortunately by the time we got back it was fixed.

SweetpeaSue I have ANCA-associated Vasculitis. It was diagnosed about 3 years ago, and I was put on Prednisolone for 12 weeks, which made it so much worseand caused a lot of side-effects as well. I won't take those again. How lovely to be able to walk along by the sea, even in cold weather. Was your husband ok afterwards? I can understand you being apprehensive about going away, but if necessary, there will be a doctor's surgery nearby, and of course, you can rest and relax at the cottage.

ScaredyCat I'm glad your DIL is home and hope she feels much better soon. You have a lot of people to think about, and now your poor sister as well. I've known people to recover fairly quickly after an operation like that, and I hope that will be the case with her. She'll have physiotherapy, of course.

Not done much - I was up at 7, but didn't shower and dress until noon. I'll go and see my brother tomorrow. Hope everyone else has been ok x

Hi all

I have just heard from my BiL that my lovely Sister is in hospital having fallen in her kitchen and broken her hip and knocked her head. This happened yesterday evening and she will have an Op tomorrow or Monday. Bearing in mind her type of cancer albeit in remission this is extremely serious and I am so worried for her. That’s 2 days running we,ve had upsetting news about people we love.

Wyllow- my friends DH has no mental health problems in fact he,s still reading his Latin text books in bed!!!! It’s purely a combination of physical decline and he’s on oxygen 24/7.
Our SDiL is home now but very vulnerable. She’s such an active girl who helps everyone but herself.
Your relationship with your first Ex is turning out to be a rewarding one for you. It’s so,good for all concerned- he sounds a nice man.
HVDY- I spoke to our DiL a couple of hours ago . She is the most selfless person but needs to for once put herself first- we love her a lot.
Hope you,ve managed to have a restful day at home- as I,ve found out sometimes we have to just chill. Not easy but necessary.
Doodle- as you say sometimes the worry seems never ending. I feel polaxed by the news about my dear Sister. She’s too far away to visit the hospital.
Yes my friends DH is as comfortable as he could be given the circumstances. The food is lovely and he enjoys it. He has been there nearly 6 months!!
Hope your Son has a lovely Birthday.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you too and thanks for popping in.
SweetPeaSue- hope you,ve had a decent day and maybe got out for a while.
EllieAnne- hope you are treating yourself kindly.

Love to allxxx

Doodle Glad the antihistamines are helping. I think there are some that make you less drowsy but cant remember which.
Yes, we're quite looking forward to being away- makes a change.
Scaredycat Im sorry about your stepsons wife. You've so many poorly people around you. Hope you're feeling better too.
HVDY I hadn't realised you had Vasculitus - there's so many symptoms ( when I looked it up) It must be really difficult to know when something is starting up thats related to the condition. You already have the Asthma too. Glad the fever has gone.
Wyllow It must be nice to keep a friendly relationship with your ex. Hindsight can teach us things but we can only do our best at the time. Some relationships can be so hard and tear us apart .
I do get a bit nervous about going away though now I think its more that I hope DH will be OK.
Nadateturbe Thinking of you and hoping youll soon get a reprive from your illness for a while.
EllieAnne Ive been watching the Ice Skating on BBC IPlayer. Been wondering if your DGD watches it too. Hope you see some friends at church tomorrow.

Did a little shopping this morning then had a walk on sea front. The wind was so cold. Nice to see the way the little Sanderlings drift together over the beach. Their little legs move so quickly they look as if theyre on skates.

Hope everyone has been OK today. Love to all.x

Wyllow3 Thanks. I won't be doing much today. Nice that you get on so well with your ex and can chat easily about things. What are you taking for the constipation? Do you drink enough during the day?
EllieAnne Thanks. I'm going to take it easy today. I hope you manage to get out and see someone today.
Doodle Vasculitis is an autoimmune condition and it causes inflammation of the blood vessels. Mine affects my limbs and lungs. Thanks, I'll be careful. Nice that you saw your son and his family. You're lucky (as am I) that you live close by to family.
Nadateturbe Hope you have some better days soon.

I'm not feverish now, but snotty and coughing a lot. Might see Son1 but not certain yet (I'd like to sit at home all day really). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day. x

Holding you in the Light, nadateturbe

Nadateturbe Thats so lovely of you - I mean that. Thankyou, and Id just like to say - we all care about your illness and recognise it as something very difficult to live with.

Just on to say thanks for thinking of me, sorry I can't chat. I'm just struggling at the minute. I haven't even managed to read all the posts,
just the last few. Thinking of you all. Sending love, still praying for everyone. xx

I'm so glad you live close to your family, Doodle. It can never ever "make things all right" but thank goodness they are there.

What did you do in art today?

Sweetpeasue I missed the bit about your holiday yesterday. So glad you’ve booked something. Hope you have a relaxing time I’m sure it will do you both good, Yes antihistamine helped and I’m much better today thanks.
HVDY those shivers and chills don’t sound good, lots of things going around st the moment. It’s not always wise to push yourself when you feel ill. I don’t know anything about vasculitis so don’t know what the symptoms are but please be aware if you get really shivery and take your temperature. Shivering whilst having a high temperature are signs of possible sepsis. Hope you’re feeling better now.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds as though you’ve spent much of your life feeling lonely. Ish you could find some happiness.
Scaredycat worrying is never ending isn’t it. There’s always something. I’m so sorry to hear about your stepsons wife. I hope she’s home again soon.
Your friends husband sounds quite comfortable and content in the home. Must be reassuring for your friend. Yes I love going to art, the people are so lovely and such fun. Glad you’re feeling a little better and managed a coffe out. Does you good to have a change of scene.
Wyllow nice you and your Ex get in so well and can chat about your children and grandchildren. Hope these eye issues get dealt with soon. You’ve had so much going on recently.
DS2 s birthday tomorrow so I popped over with his presents. Had a nice chat with the family.

Oh, well done there HVDY.

Hvdy please don’t push yourself too much . Give your body time to recover.

ScaredyCat What a worry about your stepson's wife. The symptoms of one aren't the usual things we think of, are they? I hope she has had, or is having, treatment for that and the Pneumonia— the poor woman.

Hope everyone's had a decent day. I forced myself to shower and get dressed, and I managed to do 45 minutes of aqua aerobics. I must try to push myself more.

Oh dear HVDY, thats really poorly. Yes, you do get a lot of infections and inflammations. You. Must be so frustrated and fed up as you love to be a - doing and with family and feel so poorly instead. I really hope it doesn’t last too long.

Sweetpeasue I do recall you both having to come home when you had scarcely been there at all. It was a real downer in many ways including confidence about going away.
So you must be nervous about going again. It sounds simply lovely, and what you need it a great spell of sun to go with.
I never tried a spiritual church. Many of the ideas are really interesting and I can understand the desire to “go deeper”.

EllieAnne - oh that search, for something to ease the pain, the confusion, wanting things to feel better. I’m glad it wasnt a bad experience but as you said didnt meet the needs.

Scaredycat - you said I think your friends DH was there for end of life care? Is it dementia related or physical or a mixture? Does he recognise her?What a painful situation to know he is there but not able to go and so on - doesn’t bear thinking about really.
Well done for that venture out. You must have been getting major league cabin fever.
But yo poor love - those around you suffering, too many at the moment! The “step DiL” is clearly still vulnerable physically after her cancer - so I hope she recovers as well as possible at home.

I’m game for the virtual coffee day. Can we have it by the seaside in very comfy chairs, under sun umbrellas, on a warm but not too hot day, quiet, just the waves and the birds overhead …….

I’m terribly uncomfortable with constipation: this week has been so stressful as regards the end of MrA co-inciding with the eye thing. The eye thing caught me badly over last night catastrophising - I have this habit of things taking a few days to really hit me.
So I was on the phone first thing to make sure the referral had arrived, to sister for her to tell me again the changes were very small, then actually found later that day that the optician who had seen me had been off sick and had contacted the hospital saying I had sort of special needs not so much for a quick appointment but to know where things were, and much later my GP texted - I had forgotten I actually had an eye referral 3 weeks ago just for all the other issues I’d been having with them, and when she saw the new referral had followed it up, so….

It was a busy morning but at the gym I tried one or two of the new knee exercises and they were very good. Really simple ones.

Then best of all saw my first Ex for a natter, he comes over to see other people once a month or so and atm taking to him, as of course he is my sons Dad is very very good indeed.

He decided to undertake quite deep therapy at retirement, and so his insight now into the past has moved on a great deal as has mine - its really good for me atm, talked grandchildren, MrA etc, and he's going to help me see DGD 2 who is into art but I cant yet have for a whole weekend.

thinking of absent BD's..yes we havent heard from Nadateturbe for awhile xx and thinking of you Doodle and other BD's too.

Sorry Doodle the beginning of my post is meant for you. Xxx

Hi all
So glad you,ve been to Art again. It’s good to get back to the things you enjoy.
My friend saw her DH on Sunday - the first time for weeks. He is astonishing always the same. Enjoys his food.,reading seeing visitors etc. he can’t sit up completely and never gets out of bed but still going on- it’s amazing. They were worried he wouldn’t survive the journey from the hospital to the care home.
A good day for you yesterday and hope today brought some enjoyable moments.
SweetPeaSue- so pleased you have booked the Lakes. Your little cottage sounds like heaven. It will be so good for you both to be surrounded by peace and beauty.
Hope the weather will be nice enough to eat outside sometimes.
I know it’s an effort for you sometimes to go to BookClub but it’s such a different couple of hours for you and must take your mind into some interesting places.
Thank you Kai is very beautiful but he is also very kind and gentle. Yuki is very cute but more playful.
HVDY- Vasculitis is an awful condition to have - you deal with it remarkably. No,wonder it gets on your nerves - Iwould say you’re,putting it mildly.
I feel a bit better thanks but so very tired. But I went out today for a coffee with DH as I was determined to shake myself up@bit😀
We had some worrying news yesterday .my youngest Stepsons wife who had Breast Cancer last year is in hospital having had a silent Heart Attack and has Pneumonia in one lung. She’s a sweetie and has suffered enough. But I think she is coming home tonight. My list of,people to worry about is getting longer by the minute!
I hope you manage to have a decent sleep tonight - no early morning call Jaffa!!
Wyllow-So nice to imagine you sitting in the sun in your lovely park. Good to feel things settling a bit eh!
Wouldn’t it be great if the magic carpet materialised and we all sat in the sun with our coffees and chatted in reality. We,ll have to have a day when we go to our favourite coffee places at the same time and pretend.
EllieAnne- SweetPeaSue is right . If there is ANYTHiNG you can do to make yourself happy if even for a short time please do it and enjoy every moment. Life wasn’t meant to be easy but it wasn’t meant to be joyless either. Take care .
Nadateturbe- hope you’re Ok - think of you every day.

Love to allxx

Scaredycat I forgot to say yesterday what a beautiful cat Kai looks. Such a lovely coat- hes a real charmer.

EllieAnne Im sorry to hear that EllieAnne. It was my mam that started to go there initially and I was quite curious.
I wish you could have some brightness in your life - its so very sad. If you can do anything ,just for you -- that you inside ,just go ahead and do it . You deserve some happiness in this life, you really do. x

Sweet pea sue I also went to a spiritualist church for a bit in late teens. I was quite lonely and unhappy and looking for something. It was quite interesting and as you say not at all spooky but didn’t do anything for me.

Doodle So glad you're feeling a bit better and managed to get out yesterday. Yes thats the only thing with some meds like antihistamines- the drowsiness. You dont have much choice though . What a full day it was for you yesterday.
HVDY Oh you do sound very unwell. You've only just got over another virus too. Do take time to look after yourself and ( I was going to put keep hydrated but sounds patronising as you're well used to caring for others and nothing much else I can say) Hope you feel better soon. Yes DH was quite pleased to do the cistern thing though son did the bending while DH helped him figure it out.
Wyllow I did have a small period with Spiritualist church when I was very young. It really was t in the least 'spooky' ,at least the one I went to- though I wouldnt go there now. The place we booked is the same place we've been to about 4 times before. Its a cottage/house down a long quiet lane and secluded. Just lovely views and wildlife,so yes self catering. Last time we only stopped couple of days as we both became ill with covid.

Hope everyone is having a decent day.

I'm feeling really quite unwell - shivering (despite 2 cardigans, a blanket and the heating on yesterday), then too hot. Runny nose, headache, cough. I get a lot of things wrong with me because of having Vasculitis, and it's getting on my nerves. Back later x

ScaredyCat Thanks. I hope you feel better than you did. Kai is stunningly handsome.
Wyllow3 Yesterday's weather was perfect for a stroll in the park. It's raining here today.
SweetpeaSue Having a break away will give you both something nice to look forward to, and it's not long to wait. I bet your husband was pleased to have done a DIY job and got the toilet fixed. Nice that you saw your grandson. too. I hope you'll start to feel better when your iron and Vitamin D levels are better.

Well Sweetpeasue what an unexpected and it sounds rewarding discussion on Doyle's sort of Spiritualism and the existence of God. I'm thrilled to hear you've booked a little getaway - do you so self catering or a hotel? I'd sure you will be nervous especially after the last one, but good for you.
I hope some vitamin D and iron might help a bit.

I bet DH was thrilled to be able to do that repair.

It was a nice short 20 minute walk so- yes, a magic carpet for a BD lovely walk and coffee, then a magic carpet home once tired.

Ellie Anne what about a small shed or greenhouse. My dad used to spend hours sitting in his greenhouse surveying his garden and having a cup of tea. Just somewhere for you to be outside of the house.
Yes HvDY it is tree pollen. I’m not so bad in the summer but I sometimes get it in October too. I’m feeling better but still snuffly.
Sorry you’re not feeling well. There seem to be a lot of colds, sore throats etc about.
Scaredycat sorry you’re still feeling so unwell. Yes lots of different things going round. It’s good your friend gets to talk to her Dh if nothing else but it’s a shame they can’t see each other. Kai is really beautiful. Such unusual markings.
Wyllow I hope you do manage to make D see what really happened so that she can be more supportive to you. Hope the others catch on to a subtle hint here and there.
Thanks Sweetpeasue I have been to art today and have felt better. I find that once the antihistamine tablets kick in it helps but I do have to take them every day for a while but they make me tired.
Book club sounds interesting. Glad you went.
Been to art this morning, church knitting this afternoon and visited other grandma with birthday gifts so a full on day for me.